Change, Changed & Changing

Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.

-- Author James Baldwin

Isn't it tiresome being a one-person team?  Don't you wish that sometimes you could delegate all of your errands and responsibilities to someone else?  Please, please don't make me.......

I would love to be irresponsible; not permanently, but just for a short amount of time.  I would love to take a break from the constant decision making and problem solving; to get in the car and drive somewhere and escape for a bit.

Please join me if you feel, as I do, that you are constantly bombarded with so much stuff that you feel as though you have become an air traffic controller trying to figure out which thing gets to land first and get your immediate attention and which thing gets to fly around for a little while longer.

There was a point in my life when I felt that every day I was being forced to learn something new and it was not limited to technology.  It was pervasive.  That doesn't exist so much now but every once in while it returns.  I start to get slightly anxious if my car needs work or something breaks in the house because I know things usually happen in twos or threes.  That's when I try to figure out what is going to break down next.  Whether it's the computer, the telephone, the television, the car or just something else in my house, nothing seems to operate the way it used to.

In my mind, I mentally live out some of the things that I know I shouldn't do.  Maxing out the credit card, driving too fast, swearing all the time, getting drunk, eating whatever you want; what fun that would be!!  And then I jolt myself back to reality.  Get real, girl, I tell myself, you know you need to pay some bills.

Yes, good 'ole reality; that splash of cold water in the face that you aren't expecting.  It's all about growth isn't it?

Being an adult can be a drag but hidden in each one of those mind-numbing problems comes the confidence-boosting realization that you can finally get on the other side of it and do it....