Gabby & Mark

I have written about Gabby Giffords in previous posts because she is a source of inspiration to me. 

 

She is the very definition of courage and resilience and lives her life with a great deal of passion.  Despite being shot in the head over two years ago, she continues to move forward and remain in public life because she wants to make the world a safer place.

Gun control is Gabby's top priority and today's post focuses on just part of the dialogue surrounding this issue.

Gabby Giffords & Mark Kelly

With her husband, retired astronaut Mark Kelly, Gabby has been working non-stop appealing to the Senate and the public at large to support expanded background checks for guns.  Gabby and Mark make a formidable team.

You might not know that both Gabby and Mark are gun owners and they take the position that background checks are a responsible common sense measure to reduce gun violence.

Even though 90% of the American public supports expanded background checks for guns, the Senate Wednesday decided to vote the measure down.  But this is only the beginning of a grassroots movement to change current gun control laws in this country.

Frustrated but not defeated, Gabby wrote the following fiery and compelling op-ed in The New York Times.  Please read it and think about how it relates to your views on gun control.

A Senate in the Gun Lobby's Grip

By Gabrielle Giffords
April 17, 2013/ New York Times

WASHINGTON

SENATORS say they fear the N.R.A. and the gun lobby. But I think that fear must be nothing compared to the fear the first graders in Sandy Hook Elementary School felt as their lives ended in a hail of bullets. The fear that those children who survived the massacre must feel every time they remember their teachers stacking them into closets and bathrooms, whispering that they loved them, so that love would be the last thing the students heard if the gunman found them.

On Wednesday, a minority of senators gave into fear and blocked common-sense legislation that would have made it harder for criminals and people with dangerous mental illnesses to get hold of deadly firearms — a bill that could prevent future tragedies like those in Newtown, Conn., Aurora, Colo., Blacksburg, Va., and too many communities to count.

Some of the senators who voted against the background-check amendments have met with grieving parents whose children were murdered at Sandy Hook, in Newtown. Some of the senators who voted no have also looked into my eyes as I talked about my experience being shot in the head at point-blank range in suburban Tucson two years ago, and expressed sympathy for the 18 other people shot besides me, 6 of whom died. These senators have heard from their constituents — who polls show overwhelmingly favored expanding background checks. And still these senators decided to do nothing. Shame on them.

I watch TV and read the papers like everyone else. We know what we’re going to hear: vague platitudes like “tough vote” and “complicated issue.” I was elected six times to represent southern Arizona, in the State Legislature and then in Congress. I know what a complicated issue is; I know what it feels like to take a tough vote. This was neither. These senators made their decision based on political fear and on cold calculations about the money of special interests like the National Rifle Association, which in the last election cycle spent around $25 million on contributions, lobbying and outside spending.

Speaking is physically difficult for me. But my feelings are clear: I’m furious. I will not rest until we have righted the wrong these senators have done, and until we have changed our laws so we can look parents in the face and say: We are trying to keep your children safe. We cannot allow the status quo — desperately protected by the gun lobby so that they can make more money by spreading fear and misinformation — to go on.

I am asking every reasonable American to help me tell the truth about the cowardice these senators demonstrated. I am asking for mothers to stop these lawmakers at the grocery store and tell them: You’ve lost my vote. I am asking activists to unsubscribe from these senators’ e-mail lists and to stop giving them money. I’m asking citizens to go to their offices and say: You’ve disappointed me, and there will be consequences.

People have told me that I’m courageous, but I have seen greater courage. Gabe Zimmerman, my friend and staff member in whose honor we dedicated a room in the United States Capitol this week, saw me shot in the head and saw the shooter turn his gunfire on others. Gabe ran toward me as I lay bleeding. Toward gunfire. And then the gunman shot him, and then Gabe died. His body lay on the pavement in front of the Safeway for hours.

I have thought a lot about why Gabe ran toward me when he could have run away. Service was part of his life, but it was also his job. The senators who voted against background checks for online and gun-show sales, and those who voted against checks to screen out would-be gun buyers with mental illness, failed to do their job.

They looked at these most benign and practical of solutions, offered by moderates from each party, and then they looked over their shoulder at the powerful, shadowy gun lobby — and brought shame on themselves and our government itself by choosing to do nothing.

They will try to hide their decision behind grand talk, behind willfully false accounts of what the bill might have done — trust me, I know how politicians talk when they want to distract you — but their decision was based on a misplaced sense of self-interest. I say misplaced, because to preserve their dignity and their legacy, they should have heeded the voices of their constituents. They should have honored the legacy of the thousands of victims of gun violence and their families, who have begged for action, not because it would bring their loved ones back, but so that others might be spared their agony.

This defeat is only the latest chapter of what I’ve always known would be a long, hard haul. Our democracy’s history is littered with names we neither remember nor celebrate — people who stood in the way of progress while protecting the powerful. On Wednesday, a number of senators voted to join that list.

Mark my words: if we cannot make our communities safer with the Congress we have now, we will use every means available to make sure we have a different Congress, one that puts communities’ interests ahead of the gun lobby’s. To do nothing while others are in danger is not the American way.

Gabrielle Giffords, a Democratic representative from Arizona from 2007 to 2012, is a founder of Americans for Responsible Solutions, which focuses on gun violence.

6 American Optimists

Readers: start your engines!

If you are anything like me, you probably have days when it's just plain hard to get into gear and get going.

 

 

To help you move it along today,  here are six Americans (I am inspired by Gabby Giffords!) who told Reader's Digest that life is better when you think positive and here's what they have to say about looking on the bright side of life:

Spirtual Adviser

Billy Graham, 94, Christian minister, says, "If I didn't have spiritual faith, I would be a pessimist.  But I'm an optimist.  I've read the last page in the Bible.  It's going to turn out all right."

Educator

School principal Kenyetta Wilbourn, 36, carried an aluminum bat through the hallways of Detroit'd Denby High when she started there in 2009.  Now, while the neighborhood is still troubled, Wilbourn has transformed Denby into a clean, calm center of learning  "This city is not the 'diamond in the rough'; it is the actual diamond," she says.

Journalist

Katie Couric, 55, broadcaster and author, says, "Find the joy.  When you feel it, le t it wash over you.  And take a moment to appreciate it.  Be grateful for the people in your life, for waking up feeling good and pain free, and for the stretch of road ahead that's so full of possibilities.  When you encouter bumps, keep going and don't look back."

Politician

Gabrielle Giffords, 42, the former congreswoman from Arizona, wrote the final chapter of 2011 book, Gabby: A Story of Courage and Hope, in her own words: "Hope and fatih.  You have to have hope and faith. . . Long ways to go.  Grateful to survive.  It's frustrating.  Mentally hard.  Hard work.  I'm trying.  Trying so hard to get better.  Regain what I've lost. . .I will get stronger.  I will return.

 

Sports Enthusiast

Grant DePorter, 48, a Chicago restaureur and leading Chicago Cubs fan, is sticking by the team, which last won the World Series in 1908.  "No one knows more about optimism than a Cubs fan.  After waiting 104 years, it's our optimism, and not the winning, that binds us together.  We really do believe the next year will be the year," he says.

 

Business Leader

Former Google executive Marissa Mayer, 37, was named CEO of the struggling internet giant Yahoo! last August.  She's the sixth person to hold the post in the past five years.  "My view is that the core of Yahoo! is incredibly valuable and a great platform to build on," she says.

Who inspires you?

Gabby's Message



Rep. Giffords hugs Daniel Hernandez, the former intern who saved her life.

Rep. Gabrielle Giffords is a class act.

This past weekend we heard the sad news that Giffords has decided to resign from her congressional seat this week, a little over a year after she was shot in the head at a constituent event in Tucson.  If not for the shooting, Gifford's life would have followed a different course: she had planned to begin fertility treatments and she wanted to run for the Senate.

Giffords doesn't talk about her plans that have been put on hold.  Instead, she courageously moves forward, thanking people for their support and uniting us to do more.

While many of us would prefer to see her stay in office and continue her rehabilitation while serving as a member of Congress, that might not be the smartest thing for her to do from a health perspective.  Congressional schedules are grueling and  unforgiving.  I think she respects her congressional office too much to do it halfway.  

Earlier this month, Giffords and her retired astronaut husband, Mark Kelly, marked the one-year anniversary of her shooting in Tucson, AZ.  "I don't remember much from that horrible day, but I will never forget the trust you placed in me to be your voice," Giffords said in a video she posted online on Sunday.

I am taking her decision to focus on getting stronger as a sign of hope.  She says she will return and I believe her.  We need more people like her to pursue public service.  She is an incredible woman full of determination and a heroic mixture of strength and vulnerability.

Gabby Giffords

Photo by CBSNews.com

If you google the word resilient, you'll be reading about Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, D-AZ.

Resilience is the ability to recover from a crisis, a dramatic life change or even failure.  Some people are born with resilience and others develop it. 

Resilience is when life hands you an awful situation and you turn it into an opportunity to learn or develop something about yourself.

Resilience is digging down deep within ourselves and finding the resources to cope with a changed life. 

To me, this is the essence of Gabby Giffords.

One year ago tomorrow, Giffords was speaking at a constituent event in Tucson, AZ, when 22-year-old Jared Loughner shot her in the head and then continued to shoot 18 others in the crowd.  Six people died, including a nine-year-old girl and a federal judge. 

Giffords has spent the past year on an unbelievable mental and physical journey learning again how to talk, walk and survive the emotional trauma of being shot at close range.  I can't imagine how hard and frustrating it has been for her to get to where she is today.  And she still has work in front of her.  But when you watch her on television, you have no sense of any of the difficulty she has experienced.  I think she has the most peaceful smile and I am inspired by her determination.

With her husband, retired astronaut Mark Kelly, the two make a forbidable team.  They are scheduled to mark the one-year anniversary of the shooting during a candlelight vigil on Sunday, January 8 at the University of Arizona.  If you want to know what true love is then read this post from Maria Shriver's blog written by Mark Kelly about what he has learned from his incredible wife:

Gabby: A Story of Courage and Hope

By Mark Kelly

Our spouses are often our teachers, guiding us in ways that may be clear only in retrospect.

I have been struck by this realization again and again in the year since my wife, Gabby, was almost killed in an assassination attempt. As she struggled to regain her ability to speak, I became her student, remembering vital things she taught me years ago.

At first, she couldn’t say anything at all, which left her scared and stuck inside herself. I remember one particularly rough day, about a month after the shooting, when I came into Gabby’s room and found her sitting in her wheelchair, tears running down her face. She was hyperventilating, absolutely panicked.

Through her tears, Gabby motioned with her left hand, waving it by her mouth. It didn’t take me long to figure out what was wrong. She had tried to speak and no words came out. She was making some sounds, consonants and vowels, but no words. She cried and I cried with her. All I could do was reassure her. “It’ll get better,” I said. “I promise you.”

By mid-February 2011, six weeks after the shooting, she had begun formulating words, but they were often delivered haltingly or incorrectly. She got stuck on random words. No matter what she meant to say, the same word, “chicken,” often came out in a burst: “Chicken, chicken, chicken.”

For Gabby, it was terribly frustrating. And for those of us who loved her, it was dispiriting to see a woman who had been so articulate reduced to grasping for syllables. But in my role as a caregiver, I found myself buoyed by recalling Gabby’s voice from earlier times. I’d recommend that any spouse dealing with a traumatic situation reach back into the past for a meaningful memory. It can offer perspective, comfort – and a way forward.

In my case, I had never been a patient man. I’d always been a go-getter, focused on “the urgency of now.” By contrast, Gabby knew well the value of patience. As a state senator and then a U.S. congresswoman, she’d let her constituents in Arizona say whatever they needed to say without interrupting them. She interacted easily with everyone, young and old, able-bodied and infirm.

After she was injured, friends and family would often interrupt her, saying the words they thought she meant to say. They were trying to help, but I saw this only added to Gabby’s sense of powerlessness.

And so it was helpful to me to think back to a day in 2006, after my second space flight as an astronaut, when Gabby and I got to have lunch with the legendary British astrophysicist Stephen Hawking. Dr. Hawking is paralyzed due to a form of Lou Gehrig’s disease, and it takes him an excruciatingly long time to say anything.

That day, I quickly gave up trying to converse with him. But Gabby was just incredible. She intuitively knew what to do. She kneeled down in front of his wheelchair and said, “Dr. Hawking, how are you today?” Then she stared into his eyes and waited patiently and silently. He took ten minutes to reply, “I’m fine. How are you?”

She could have kneeled there for an hour, waiting for him to answer.

My memory of that encounter helped me understand how I’d need to interact with Gabby during her recovery. It’s almost like something out of The Twilight Zone. It was as if Gabby was giving me a message back in 2006: “Watch me. I will be your teacher. Someday you’ll have to be patient with me and this is how you’ll need to do it.”

At the time Gabby was shot, I was preparing to serve as commander of the next shuttle mission. Gabby was starting her third term in Congress. Had she not been shot on January 8, 2011, she was scheduled to undergo fertility treatment on January 10. We hoped she’d be pregnant soon.

Gabby had such a rich life before she was injured that one of her speech therapists, an aphasia expert, recently asked her: “Given all the pain and sadness, are you glad you survived?”

“Yes, yes, yes,” Gabby said.

The therapist, Nancy Estabrooks, was struck by her lack of hesitation. “If you consider how much she had going for her, and how it all stopped abruptly,” Dr. Estabrooks said, “it’s not hard to imagine someone in that situation feeling suicidal, or losing the will to live.”

But again, Gabby was my teacher. I saw that her commitment to recover was clearly rooted in her innate optimism, her relentless drive, and in her relationship with those she loved. She’s doing so much better now. Her comprehension is 100%, she’s speaking in sentences, and she’s worked incredibly hard to keep improving. She spends forty hours a week in four kinds of therapy: physical, speech, occupational and music.

She’d like to return to Congress, and she knows that therapy is her only way to make that happen.

Meanwhile, just as Gabby has taught me so much, I’ve tried to find ways to help her see a path back to herself.

November 10th was our fourth wedding anniversary, and I surprised Gabby by inviting a cellist from the Houston Symphony to serenade us during dinner at our home. I put a white tablecloth on the kitchen table, lit candles and served a steak dinner. As the cellist played Bach, I explained to Gabby that the musician had suffered a traumatic brain injury after a 2009 motorcycle accident, and has since returned to work. “Look how beautifully he plays,” I said, hoping to help Gabby imagine her own continued recovery.

Like so many couples, Gabby and I have embraced the idea that we are each other’s teachers -- and that the lessons continue every day.

We’re excited by all the possibilities that await us in 2012, and by the things we’ll learn together along the way.

********
Mark Kelly was a captain in the United States Navy when he commanded the final mission of space shuttle Endeavour in May 2011. His wife, Gabrielle Giffords has represented Arizona’s 8th Congressional District in the U.S. House of Representatives since 2007. Their new joint memoir is titled Gabby: A Story of Courage and Hope.
You can purchase Gabby: A Story of Courage and Hope at Amazon, Barnes & Noble or wherever books are sold.

http://www.mariashriver.com/blog/2012/01/gabby-story-courage-and-hope