Sleepless in Seattle

Tom Hanks and Ross Malinger

When I watch the hysterically funny but poignant movie, "Sleepless in Seattle," one of my favorite scenes is when the character played by actress Rita Wilson tries to explain to  the character played by actor Tom Hanks and the other guys gathered round exactly why the incredibly romantic movie "An Affair To Remember" is only truly understood by women.

She starts to repeat dialogue from "An Affair To Remember" and sets up the scenes with Deborah Kerr (is it pronounced "Kerr" or Carr? I never can remember...") and Cary Grant.  Then Rita Wilson starts to cry as she remembers the ending of the movie and the men are just staring at her like she's crazy.  ("Is she always like this?")  Then the characters played by Tom Hanks and Victor Garber start comparing "An Affair to Remember" to "The Dirty Dozen," a men's movie about World War II and then they start crying about some scene involving guns and bombs and Trini Lopez.  It's all very funny!!!!

 The reason my memory was jogged about "Sleepless In Seattle" had to do with a tweet I read last week from Grief Speaks.  Grief Speaks tweets about loss and also is a website (www.griefspeaks.com) giving support to children, teens and adults who are coping with grief due to all different type of loss.

The tweet reminded me of something some of us are all too familiar with; the poignant side of "Sleepless in Seattle" when Tom Hanks finds himself in the throes of trying to figure out how to put one foot in front of the other and go on as a newly widowed man and also as a single parent.

The following dialogue from a very different scene in "Sleeepless in Seattle" is right on the money about why it's so hard to let go, to say good-bye, and move forward with your life without that beloved one:

 "Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: People who truly loved once are far more likely to love again. Sam, do you think there's someone out there you could love as much as your wife?

 Sam Baldwin: Well, Dr. Marcia Fieldstone, that's hard to imagine.

Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: What are you going to do?

 Sam Baldwin: Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while.

Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: Tell me what was so special about your wife?

Sam Baldwin: Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic."