Monday, August 27, 2012

Hope and Healing

Courtesy of The Magic Onions

I love this picture!

Serene and peaceful, can't you feel the healing power of the flowers?  The first time I saw it, I mentally slipped into the photograph and felt the aura of  its calming vibe.  I could practically smell the beautiful flowers in the shape of a majestic sun surrounding the Nature Girl.  
Ommmmmmmm.  The healing is starting and it can happen for all of us but we need to be patient.  Healing takes time.  The most important thing about restoring your mental and emotional health after the loss of a loved one is to think positively: if you want to heal then it will happen for you.  Even if you don't have the energy right now to feel positive, try to keep a small positive thought in the back of your memory.  It will help to carry you through the pain.
Healing is defined as restoring to health or soundness, to repair or go through a process to cure your inner self.  In a sense, you are seeking to come to grips with the reality of what has happened to you.  The numbness you feel is your body's way of giving you time to catch up with your loss and the new changes in your life.

I found that the first step towards healing from the loss of a loved one is to allow yourself to feel your feelings. You may want to ignore the feelings because they are so painful but trust me, if you are patient with yourself, you can work through or process the waves of emotions coming at you.
Someone you cared about A LOT, someone you loved A LOT is no longer with you physically or emotionally.  It takes a long time to really deal with the shock of your loss but eventually time will help you get control of your emotions and give you the courage to continue to move forward with your life.  It has been almost nine years since my husband died and I still have setbacks.  Sometimes I will read something that reminds me of him or I see something that reminds me of him or of our life together.

I try to talk about it or I try to embrace the memory.  Ignoring or denying what has happened only makes it makes it more painful and more overwhelming.  Grief is a process and in expressing your grief you are allowing yourself to heal and to be hopeful.

It's not that you will never be happy again.  It's more that your life has changed and you won't be exactly the person that you were before your loved one died.  You must rebuild and find a way to move forward.

We each have different resources but here are some suggestions to help in your healing:

-- spend time in nature

-- listen to music

-- find a quiet place, breathe deeply and relax

-- reach out to a friend

-- join a group such as a church group or a community group

-- strengthen a family tie

-- or lie in the grass, feel the warmth of the sun and smell the flowers!

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