Now Is Powerful

Photo By Patti Raab

When I was in my twenties, I felt as though I had all the time in the world to do whatever it was I wanted to do.  I think that feeling was the luxury of youth.  I had no sense of needing to get things done urgently because if it didn't happen today I was confident that I would get another chance tomorrow.  There would always be tomorrow for a do-over, if you will.

"See you tomorrow!"

"Oh, I'll tell you about that later."

"Yeah we have to find a date and then we'll do it.  I'll get back to you."

But now I try very hard to stay in the present, to appreciate the gift of life, and say and do what should be taken care of today because nine years ago today my wonderful husband died and I saw that you don't always get a tomorrow.

I saw how quickly life can twirl you around and yank off your blindfold, leaving you stumbling, confused and guessing about the scary unknown.

How did I keep it together (some of the time), raise a child and work a full-time job?

By taking baby steps in the beginning and slowly developing a well of inner strength that came through the kind help of family, friends, neighbors, praying a lot, meditating a lot, crying, laughing, reaching out for help from a fantastic support group, learning to make peace, accepting some of the bad stuff and writing for Cry, Laugh, Heal.

 

You, my dear readers, are truly a gift I never thought I would have and I thank you, thank you for coming to Cry, Laugh Heal!

 

Being in present time, to be what is called "fully present" sounds cliche but it really isn't.  I have found that when I concentrate on staying in the present it is truly a good thing.  I don't always succeed but the results are definitely worth the effort.

 

For me, staying in the present means I am with the person that I am with.  I am listening to them and the words they are saying to me, the thoughts and emotions they are trying to convey to me. 

 

I am not typing on my computer keyboard as they are talking to me, I am not watching television as they talk to me and I am not writing a check or a note as they try to talk to me.  I am focused on our conversation and I am really, really trying not to think ahead about my reply.

 

I am mentally focused in the moment of what is happening between me and the other person.

 

I am trying not to let my mind run ahead or go backwards in time because then I might miss the beauty of what is happening to me right now.

 

Now is a beautiful thing and a thing to take care of. 

 

Now is when you get to say and do what you intend to do so that later on you don't have regrets about how you forgot to say something or you should have done something.

 

Now is powerful.

 

Whatever it is, do it today.  Don't put it off.  Do it now.

 

Listening Can Be Powerful

Every day I try to maintain a positive attitude about life.  I remind myself that I am blessed for having family, friends, a home, a job and good health.  I tell myself that this day is unique and I have an opportunity to do something I didn't get to do yesterday.  But it is still an anxious world we live in these days and we need to be aware of its' toll on others.

I am certain that God has a plan for all of us.  I am sure there are people out there who don't believe in God or any kind of higher being but that's not me.  I truly believe that God watches over us and I try my best to be good and stay on the straight and narrow.  Of course staying on the straight and narrow would be a million times easier if I could learn to keep my big mouth shut.  But that's another post.....

So instead of talking, I am working on listening.  I am learning that listening is a very valuable skill.  I think lots of people, myself included, carry around varying degrees of emotional and financial baggage and they're not sure what it all means and how it's going to turn out.  I'm not sure what God's plan is for us right now but in the past week, I think God's plan has been unsettling.  Last week, a male friend a few years older than me died suddenly, I found out today that a mother I know committed suicide and over the weekend I went to visit a family friend who just entered hospice care.

Comparing notes with a long-time friend about this, she said she knew what I meant because there are many of her friends right now who started taking medicine for anxiety or depression and doing all they can to keep it together during these tenuous times.

Life is fragile and that is all the more reason to hold on dearly to the people who matter most to you.  Whether those people are family, friends or both family and friends, life can switch gears very quickly.  I don't know whether these things are happening more often because I have reached a certain age in life or because the economy is causing people's anxiety levels to spike.  Maybe it's a combination of both things but I am aware that there is a different vibe out there now and it's not to be ignored.

Listening is a powerful tool.  I recently read that when you listen to people, really listen and not anticipate what they are going to say next, that sometimes they can hear the truth in what they are speaking, sometimes for the very first time.  When you listen you create space for someone to fill with their words, their thoughts.  When you are quiet you give the other person time to assess or process what is happening to them.

Listening is a gift.  Try it and see what happens.