Friday, October 28, 2011

Laughing Enriches Your Life

It's really true, according to the story below.  Laughing can make you relax and breathe.

When times are tough, a sense of humor can help us cope.  I think
it always makes you feel better if you can make fun of the person who is stressing you out or make a joke about the awful situation you're in!
KHAM/Reuters

Laughing may help ease blood pressure, boost mood and enrich health in other ways

By Carolyn Butler, Published: October 24

The Washington Post

Whenever I took a tumble or scraped my knee as a child, my mother typically assessed the situation and then promptly tickled me, counseling, “Laughter is the best medicine.” This trick remains remarkably effective with my own boys and, to this day, YouTube videos of laughing babies or cats playing with printers still have the power to make me feel a bit better when I’m under the weather.

But while giggling is certainly a great distraction when you’re hurt or feeling low, I can’t help but wonder whether the old adage is true: Can laughter really have a positive impact on health?

There is a growing body of research indicating that a good guffaw may improve immune function, help lower blood pressure, boost mood and reduce stress and depression. And despite a dearth of more rigorous, long-term studies, the sum of these findings is compelling, says cardiologist Michael Miller, a professor at the University of Maryland School of Medicine who has researched the topic.

“We don’t have any clinical outcome evidence to show that laughter will reduce heart attacks or improve overall survival. However, we do have a number of studies that have shown that there is a potential upside, in terms of vascular benefits and also overall health,” he explains. “These findings certainly support laughter as a reasonable prescription for heart health and health in general, especially since there’s really no downside.”


The study reports on six experiments in which people watched television sitcoms or a live comedy performance, either alone or with others. The participants were then subjected to various measures that prompt discomfort, including wearing an ice-cold sleeve or a tight blood-pressure cuff and squatting against a wall for long periods. In all cases, laughing with buddies for just 15 minutes resulted in an average 10 percent increase in pain threshold. A change in affect alone — in other words, getting happy but not laughing out loud — did not have a significant impact on pain sensations.

According to lead author Robin Dunbar, an evolutionary anthropologist, these results back up prior research suggesting that people who laugh need less pain medication after surgery. She explains that if laughing “triggers endorphin activation, then it may have direct [health] benefits, because there is a possibility that endorphins help to ‘tune’ the immune system.”

Still, we’re not just talking about a snicker here and there. The key is that real, true, unforced laughter is “an energetic, stressful activity that stirs up all of our physiological systems . . .involving strong vocalization, an increase in heart rate and blood pressure and muscle contractions all over the body,” says Robert R. Provine, a neuroscientist at the University of Maryland Baltimore County and the author of “Laughter: A Scientific Investigation.” He explains that modern laughter of the “ha-ha” variety evolved from the “pant-pant” of primates and early humans, which he says is “really the sound of rough-and-tumble play.” Indeed, the new Oxford study found that endorphins are released only when “we ‘laugh till it hurts,’ ” meaning we end up running out of breath or physically exhausted, says Dunbar. “It is only full belly laughs that do this, not polite titters.”

But before you work up a new stand-up routine, Provine points out that laughter often has little to do with jokes. “Real laughter is unconscious — you don’t decide to laugh, it just happens — and if you look at what people are doing before or during a laugh, it’s usually not associated with jokes,” he says.

Dunbar says the most important benefit of laughter may be that it brings people together, which is clearly good for emotional health. “When you laugh, you’re almost always in the presence of another person, whether they’re physically present or imagined on radio or TV,” agrees Provine, who has shown that laughter in social settings is 30 times as common as when a person is alone.

He says that those studying the effects of laughter need to tease out “to what extent any health benefits of laughter are associated with the social context of laughter.” People are far more likely to giggle when others do (which explains laugh tracks on television sitcoms), he says. “It could be that it’s the playful interaction with friends, family and lovers that makes the difference [in health measures], and not the physical act of laughter itself.”

For now, I intend to keep using the tickle cure on my kids — and I no longer feel guilty about watching those YouTube videos of babies guffawing. In fact, I will no longer feel guilty about inflicting them on others, either. Because who can’t use a few more laughs in her life, regardless of how or why or even if they make you healthier?

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Maya Angelou

Talk about rebuilding your life and living courageously.  Maya Angelou is truly an inspiring woman.  Enjoy this Washington Post interview with her:


Marvin Joseph/WASHINGTON POST

Celebrated poet Maya Angelou speaks about a life well and creatively lived

By Laura Hambleton, Published: October 24

The Washington Post

Poet, writer, civil rights activist, professor, filmmaker, dramatist, singer, Grammy Award winner: Maya Angelou, 83, has also been called the nation’s premier memoirist. She was in Washington last week speaking about her long, rich life. Having come to prominence in 1970 with the publication of her acclaimed first memoir, “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings,” Angelou still teaches, still writes, still travels, though she is physically more limited these days. In February she was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom for her lifetime contributions.

Appearing at a conference organized by LeadingAge, an advocacy and education group, Angelou recounted stories of her childhood, broke into soft song, told jokes and read from her poems, including “The Health-Food Diner,” an ode to her previous life as what the poem calls a “carnivore smoking”:

No sprouted wheat and soya shoots

And Brussels in a cake,

Carrot straw and spinach raw,

(Today, I need a steak).

Her audience loved it, applauding and laughing.

Angelou, who speaks English, French, Spanish, Italian, Arabic and the West African language of Fanti, spent a few minutes before her appearance talking with The Washington Post about aging.

— Laura Hambleton


When did you start feeling your age?
(She laughs.) This morning, getting in and out of that bus. Generally, I feel good.


What is the best part about aging?
Wisdom. Enough wisdom to thank your creator, if you believe there is one, or your luck, if you don’t.


What has been the hardest?
Finding I had muscles I didn’t know I had, and joints that I didn’t know could be so recalcitrant. The physical discomfort is probably the worst.


Has aging changed your creative process?
Not at all. I am just finishing a new book. It will be my 32nd book. [My mind] is good. It’s a good mind, and I keep it active. I play word games and do crossword puzzles, acrostics and word jumbles. And I speak a few languages. I take every advantage to use one of the languages. That keeps the brain active.


What do you hold most dear?
Love. I don’t mean indulgent love. I mean that condition of the human spirit that is so profound that it can allow us to look at people and not eat each other up, to accord each other some rights and to go further than that, to try to love them, whatever that mystery is. To love people who don’t look like us, who have different complexions and different hair, and to love them. To feel empathy for pets and wildlife. It’s amazing.


And what of friends?
That is love. I don’t mean sexuality. I mean sensuality.


What is your greatest accomplishment?
My greatest blessing is giving birth to my son. [Guy Johnson, born in 1945, is a writer.]


Any regrets?
I wish I had known more, but I didn’t. I only knew as much as I did at that time. The most wonderful thing, as soon as possible, is to forgive yourself. People do only what they know what to do, not what you think they should do. Not because they were experienced or were exposed to this and went to this school and have this degree. We think they know, but not necessarily. Intellectually they might memorize certain statements. But they don’t know, in fact. When I have made mistakes, I forgive myself. I forgive anyone who comes in my earshot. I try to make sure I don’t make that one [mistake] again.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Staying Healthy


I don't think Halloween is considered the beginning of the holiday season, but in an unofficial way it's the start of that time of the year when fattening goodies seem to be everywhere.  It's a constant struggle, and for me, I really have to mentally up the ante against gaining weight and remind myself that it may taste good now but it will take a lot longer to work it off.
 
Halloween is all about the candy and it seems to be everywhere: the grocery store, CVS, offices and even banks -- which never give out anything for free.  At least with Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year's, there are other food groups to choose from when you are celebrating.  But with Halloween comes the introduction of the powerful food/candy/holiday connection that I've always associated with this time of year.  Starting with Halloween, I tend to relax my diet and give myself permission wayyyyyy tooooooo many times to eat sugary things and unfortunately, this sugar party can sometimes last until at least the New Year, if I don't try to put the brakes on it.

Every year I tell myself that it's okay to buy candy to give to the kids in neighborhood and this year I intend to buy only two bags.  Not two bags of something I really, really find tempting like M&M's or Reese's Peanutbutter Cups but two bags of something I dislike.  My way of dealing with the possibility of over indulging is to buy candy I don't like at all.  Yes, I know it's hard to believe, there is such a thing.  I don't like Sweet Tarts, gummy worms or gummy bears, Milky Way bars, Three Musketeer bars, or anything that has caramel in it.

This year my strategy is read a lot of Kris Carr and try to keep myself on some sort of a nutritious track and to exercise more frequently.  If you are not familiar with Kris Carr, she is a cancer survivor, wellness warrior and author of several books, including the best-seller Crazy, Sexy Cancer Tips and Crazy Sexy Diet.  I find her to be refreshing and down to earth and her books are chock full of great factoids such as this one: The U.S. Department of Agriculture has estimated that we eat 79 pounds of corn sweetner per year.  That's a lot of sugar!
When you first eat candy, it initially makes you feel so good and seems to take away feelings of stress, loneliness or anger.  But don't be fooled.  It's a temporary high and in the long run, sugar doesn't help your body or your mind feel stronger or healthier.  It compromises your immune system and with all the holiday socializing that's about to be upon us, we all need to be as healthy as we can be.

As Kris Carr says, we are all sweet enough, all on our own.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

So Sweet!


Happy Friday Everyone!

I posted this just because it is so sweet.  After a rough week out there in adultland, I needed something simple and straightforward.  Have a great weekend!!








Everyone needs recognition for his accomplishments, but few

 people make the need known quite as clearly as the little boy

 who said to his father:

"Let's play darts.  I'll throw and you say 'Wonderful!'"

                                                                                    --From The Best of Bits & Pieces

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Read All About It


A friend called me the other evening to talk about the obituary of a mutual friend that was recently published in a national newspaper.  He said he and others were beside themselves because the obituary didn't capture what the guy was really about.  To him, it seemed rather flat and cold and the very thought of it made him do a slow burn.

I've been there and I know what he is talking about because I have had my own issues with the obituaries in this newspaper.  Maybe this annoyance at the lack of important details in obituaries is another example of the internet's effect on newspapers or maybe it's a generational difference.  I'm not sure; maybe it's a little of both.  Or maybe it's just a matter of expecting too much.  It reminded me of what Irish author Brendan Behan once said: there is no such thing as bad publicity except for your own obituary.

I do know there was a time when newspapers took a lot of pride in the way their obituaries were written and presented and lots of newspapers recognized that circulation could be affected by how that section of the paper was handled.  But newspapers are now struggling to survive and even the word circulation seems old-fashioned.  I know it's called progress but I still like to have a newspaper delivered to my house and even though I watch the morning and nightly news on television, I always read at least one newspaper every day.

Today it's all about how many hits you get, or how many impressions you get or how many followers you have on Twitter or Facebook.  The obituaries, or the Irish sports page as some joke, were once considered the meat and potatoes of newspaper coverage.  It was a paper's unspoken connection to the community it covered. 

My friend and I discussed how decades ago, The Boston Globe used to actually print anybody's obituary on the front page.  That's what helped the Globe gain readers and become popular.  But that was then.  I know it's hard to imagine that happening today because only celebrities, Presidents, world leaders or someone despised by the masses would rate an obituary on the front page of any newspaper.

A good obituary is similiar to a good speech:  it's not too long, it informs, it explains and sometimes it makes you smile.  It tells you how old this person was when they died, the causes of their death and how their life influenced their community or the world at large.  It more than a resume; it's supposed to tell you what this person did with their life, good or bad.  I don't read the obituaries every day although I know lots of people who do.

I have been known to read the obituary of someone I don't know at all because of something in the headline that drew my interest.  When that happens, I always come away with a feeling of  "Wow! What an interesting person and look at the twists and turns of their life."

These days, I'm not sure how many people even read a newspaper.  Lots of people depend on Yahoo! or other online news services to find out what's happening in the world.  I told my friend that since he and others are dissatisfied about the state of this person's official obituary then they should write their own obituary, and with the family's permission, pass it out at the memorial service that his wife is going to have a few months from now.  This is their opportunity to really go on and on about the guy and let people know what the newspaper didn't include.

After all, that's what friends are for...right? 


Monday, October 17, 2011

Healing Help


collage
Photo credit: Samantha Kira Harding


When you are rebuilding your life and trying to find "a new normal" for yourself and your children, recognizing, addressing and expressing the strong emotions associated with grief can help you heal.

Moving forward takes time.  Unfortunately, there is no set schedule for when you are considered to be officially "healed."  It would be comforting to be able to predict exactly how long it will take for you to deal with grief and bereavement but that's not possible. 

Personally, I would say it really took me several years to get through the layers of sadness, guilt and exhaustion.  But I think I speak for most people when I say that the healing cannot start until you first work look at what has happened and then work through the pain.

I know that confronting the actual loss of your loved one and the pain of that person no longer being in your life is the hardest part but if you choose to ignore it and tamp it down thinking that it will eventually just go away on its own, you're making it harder on yourself.  It won't go away and the process of trying to put your life back together will take so much longer.

Each person needs to move through their grief at their own pace because each person's circumstances are unique.  They know when they are emotionally ready to let go and move forward.  Writing about your feelings, talking to friends or other widowed persons either individually or in a support group or seeking advice from a therapist or a spiritual counselor can help you discover a variety of coping skills.

I found the following positive story about creativity and its healing powers on a fantastic website, http://www.crazysexylife.com/, and thought I would pass along to you.  Enjoy! 


The Healing Power of Creativity

By Lynn Zavaro on October 13, 2011

Creativity is a tremendous life-transforming tool that we all have the ability to access, whether we feel like we are artistically creative or not, to know more deeply who we truly are and to support us to create the lives we really want.

Creativity also heals.

As a child, I always wanted to express myself, to be free without limitations. Yet, I was conditioned to believe I needed to color in the lines, choose the right color that matches the others and make sure not to make a mess. I wanted to speak out loud all that I felt. Yet, I was taught that I needed to use my quiet voice and speak only when spoken to. I wanted to be bold, big and uninhibited yet, I feared I was “too much” and lessened my size.

The little one in me soon learned to wrap it up tight, be concerned about what other people would think, compare myself to others and worry if what I was doing really mattered. I learned to doubt myself, question myself and got caught in needing acceptance out in the world.

But now, as an adult, I am free to be own person. I am free to create my heart’s desire. But, I can’t do it alone. I need the little one inside of me to join me.

Igniting the energy of our child-selves, we tap into our free, authentic self-expression with total permission to be whomever and however we want in the moment. When we meet a project, a dream or an endeavor focused, concentrated and in the present moment, being true to ourselves and making choices based on this truth, creativity purifies.

Imagine your body (emotional, spiritual, physical and mental) is a chamber like a pipe. Inside the pipe are calcifications that have built up over time. Crud, roots, mud and waste corrode the pipe and create blocks. When we are fully present and engaged in a creative endeavor, the energy moves through us like water through the pipe and pushes out whatever is blocking it.

Creativity burns like a fire through the stuckness and dis-ease held in our bodies and turns what doesn’t serve us into ash. It dissolves the layers of conditioning that were put upon us and brings us closer to knowing who we truly are, our absolute nature and what we are capable of.

When we feel sleepy or bored and resist what we are being called to create, we fall into the trap of questioning who we are as a creative being. When we take ourselves too seriously, the energy in our body may get stuck, calcified or heavy. We may find ourselves depressed, ill or without real, palpable, expressive joy. Yet, when we connect to the creative aspect of everything we do, our body will awake, and we remember what it feels like to be vibrant and alive again.

Here are four ways to engage creativity to bring healing to our lives:

1. Play, laugh and have some fun. Choose to do something today that is fun and playful. This healing act supports you. Let go of pain from the past and know in your heart of hearts your life is of purpose. You will feel lighter, experience a sensation of release or anticipate with enthusiasm the direction you are headed. Celebrate and bring healing as you joyfully find laughter and experience a healthy release.

2. Let out the kid in you. When we played as children, we had a rich fantasy life. We dared to dream, run wild and had active imaginations. As adults, we lose this childlike, innocent quality. This is why it is good to reconnect with our little one within. He or she is still a large part of who we are and it is essential to our overall health and well-being.

Ask your child self what he or she would like to create to express themselves fully. Does she want to dance in the living room, throw a pot on a wheel? Does he want to climb trees or go for a hike in the wilderness? Schedule a creative play date and make sure you follow through.

3. Jump into the Unknown. Choose something new, daring and risky that will cause you to let go and dive into the wild abandon of the unknown. Maybe something in your life feels ready for a change. Why don’t you jump and make that change today? Prepare to jump into the unknown, to brave the height of the mountain and leap into mid-air. Begin by investigating the mystery of who you are to better discover yourself.

4. Be an Adventurer. Welcome the places that may make you feel uncomfortable or fear and use these situations as creative moments that create catalyst for change. Welcoming what makes you uncomfortable will cause you to immediately birth into a new way of being.

Loosen your grip, relax and be an adventurer in life. Are you drawn to paint? Pick up a brush! Have you always wanted a motorcycle? Take a cycle safety class. Are you interested in learning how to meditate? Start with sitting for five minutes a day.

Invent what you want in your life by getting out of your own way and allowing your creative expression to come through. Create for the pure joy of creating and strictly for the love of doing it. And as you do this, watch your body fill with light like the sun coming out behind the clouds.

Live freely! Live healthfully! Be you!

Lynn Zavaro has a master’s degree in counseling psychology and her book and card deck set, “The Game of You™- An Interactive Way to Know Yourself, Create the Life You Want” offers a powerful, profound and fun experience of self-discovery and transformation.
Photo credit: Samantha Kira Harding

Friday, October 14, 2011

Living Through Personal Crisis -- Register Now for Oct. 19 Conference

There is still time to sign up for this conference if you or anyone else you know is interested:

Sibley Hospital's Widowed Person's Outreach is sponsoring a conference on Living Through Personal Crisis on Wednesday, October 19, 2011.

Bestselling author Dr. Ann Kaiser Stearns brings a powerful message to those dealing with the pain of a loss. With her inspirational insight and helpful healing strategies, you'll discover how you can move beyond the harsh and painful events that have occurred, grow stronger and still live a fulfilling life.

When a loved one dies, a marriage or important relationship ends, a financial or health crisis occurs, or even a dream is shattered, you still have a choice in how to live, says Dr. Stearns. Through her study of people who have successfully rebuilt their lives after a significant loss, she gained insights into resilience. Dr. Stearns has shared the findings of her research in more than 200 nationwide radio and TV interviews, presentations, and workshops. Her inspirational guidance and helpful healing strategies will help you discover how you, too, can move beyond harsh and painful events, grow stronger, and still live a fulfilling life.


Dr Ann Kaiser Stearns is a graduate of Oklahoma City University (B.A.), Duke University (M.Div.), and the Union Institute (Ph.D.). She is a professor of psychology at the Community College of Baltimore County and an adjunct professor in the Police Executive Leadership Program at the Johns Hopkins University. The mother of two daughters, she lives with her family in Maryland.

For more information about Dr. Stearns visit her website, www.AnnKaiserStearns.com. The latest edition of her book, Living through Personal Crisis, will be for sale at the event. She is also the author of Coming Back: Rebuilding Lives after Crisis and Loss and Living through Job Loss.



Register now to ensure your place: Seating is limited. Cost is $35.00 and includes lunch.

Place:  Kenwood Country Club
              5601 River Road
              Bethesda, MD 20816

Schedule:   9:45 am - Registration and Coffee or Tea
                      10:15 am - 12:00 noon - Keynote Address
                      12:00 noon - Book signing and Break
                      12:30 pm - Lunch is served

For information and to register, please call Pat Ebbecke at 202-726-3418.