I think the hardest thing about writing is writing.
~ Journalist, Author and Screenwriter Nora Ephron
During Sunday night's Academy Awards ceremony, tributes were paid to those in the film industry who passed away in the last year. Nora Ephron most certainly was a bright twinkling star in her own right and the producers of the show chose to display the above quote in her honor.
Ephron was a keen observer of American culture and especially the stormy and romantic relationships between men and women. Like most things Ephron wrote about she is spot on about trying to write.
Writing is trying to get the words together in one sentence to reveal a truth.
Writing this blog for my readers is a wonderful, sometimes magical thing. It has helped me process the grief of losing my husband and, in turn, I do hope that it has helped others of you out there also trying to make sense of a loss whether it is a husband, a wife, a child, a parent or a good friend. I never want anyone to feel isolated or alone in their despair.
Writing is something I feel I have to do and each time I sit down at the computer keyboard to write to you I try to do my very best. Sometimes I feel I hit the bar of accomplishing what I set out to do and other days I wish I had a better brain so that something more insightful would have hit the page.
I enjoy writing but it also can be frustrating to find the right words to convey what I am feeling. There is nothing more frustrating than staring at the blank screen and you know what you want to say but just don't know how to say it. Writing can sometimes feel like trying to nail jello to the wall: elusive and messy.
Writing in particular about grief and a person's ability to bounce back from a loss is a tricky mission. When I post my thoughts, I want to explain how shocked, how painful, how alone, how outside yourself you feel when someone you loves dies and how you feel totally lost. But I don't want to sound whiney, dramatic or self-absorbed.
Grief is a personal subject, almost intimate, yet it also univeral.
Whether you want to or not, at some point in your life you will experience grief. I can't say what it will be like for you or how long it will last because everyone's grief is different.
I also want to let you know that through my blog posts that with the passage of time, and it has been nine years for me since my husband died, the journey improves. Step by step, day by day, you move forward. It is slow and some days you may not feel the will to go on but that probably means you need to rest and recoup to garner strength. You may not know where you are going but the act of moving helps you work through your jumbling emotions.
I have found that it takes positive energy, support from friends and family and a healthy way of living. I know you will find your way. It will reveal itself to you.
Thank you for reading Cry, Laugh Heal!!! My readers are the best and I love hearing from you!!!