Lea Michele & Cory Monteith

Songs are touchstones; expressions of personal thoughts, emotions or memories.  An outpouring of experiences.  Songs can transport and inspire and also energize.  Songs can also help the writer and the listener process emotions of loss or grief.

 

Actress and singer Lea Michele had been working on her new album, Louder, many months before the tragic and sudden death of her boyfriend, actor Cory Monteith, who died from a toxic mixture of heroin and alcohol.  Michele and Monteith also connected professionally, playing high school sweethearts on Fox's award winning series, Glee.

With the recent release of Louder, Michele is giving candid interviews about Monteith and she recently recounted that Monteith had privately listened to and critiqued many of her new songs and he sent her notes about his thoughts on the album as she continued recording.

 

Naturally, Michelle's work on Louder stopped after Monteith's death on July 13, 2013.  While mourning the loss of Monteith, Michele searched for songs to add to the album that would reflect her feelings of spinning out of control and songs that might explain to others the depth of what it felt like to be without Monteith, how much she loved him, and how scared she was to go on without him.

 

She found a song titled Cannonball; a song she said she plays over and over because it helps her feel emotionally stronger and hopeful about the direction of her future.  "Grief is a scary thing," Michele says.  Yes, it is Michele, very scary and that's why it's so great that you are talking about it.  Sadly, we don't truly know how scary it is until it happens to us.  You are brave to share your feelings and thoughts, letting others know that they are not alone in their grief journeys.  I am so sorry for the pain of your loss. 

 

Below is the story TV Guide recently published about Michele, her new album and tragedy of Monteith's battle with his addictions.

 

Lea Michele

Lea Michele: "Grief Is a Scary Thing"

Mar 6, 2014 10:08 AM ET
by Liz Raftery
TV Guide
Lea Michele says writing and recording her new album Louder helped her overcome her grief after losing her boyfriend Cory Monteith last summer.

"I had this experience happen to me [and] decided to write about it," the Glee star tells the Los Angeles Times. "That's what felt organic."

Monteith, Michele's Glee co-star and boyfriend of four years, died in July from a toxic combination of heroin and alcohol.

The album's first single, "Cannonball," is about new beginnings. Michele recalls hearing the song for the first time:  I just literally keeled over because grief is a very scary thing, and there comes a point where it can really take you down," she says. "['Cannonball'] lifted me up. It was what I needed to get through my difficult situation."

Rather than avoid the topic, Michele decided to address Monteith's death head-on on the record, which was released Tuesday. "A lot of people don't know how to touch this situation. It's like walking on eggshells," Michele says. "I felt 'Cannonball' ... puts it all out there. It's like this is really hard, we're not denying that it's hard. We're gonna get through it."

Another track, "If You Say So," which Michele co-wrote with Sia Furler, is a reflection on the last conversation she had with Monteith. "It's something beautiful that came at a very difficult time," Michele says of her record. "If I've learned anything from this past year is that you have one life. ... You have to love as hard as you can love and live as hard as you can live because we just have one life. I feel like Louder really expresses that."

Chocolate or Kindness?



Finding the Balance of Chocolate and Kindness

Don't let the collar turn you off.

Fr. James Martin is a charismatic Jesuit priest who has a Lenten message that can be appreciated by followers of Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Folk Religions and even atheists.

 

It's a simple message but one that is challenging for people (myself included) to practice.  And it doesn't have to be Lent to make it happen.  We can practice his message any time of the year.

 

Lent is traditionally a time when Catholics give up something.  But suppose instead of giving up chocolate (that would be me) or alcohol or potato chips, you decided to do something good?  Why something good?

 

Because it is soooo much harder to stay quiet and not say the smart remark that first pops into your head when you are talking to a co-worker or a relative than it is to walk past the bowl of M&M's.

Listen and dare to try it out:

Street Sense

Martin Walker

While buying tomatoes today at the FRESHFarm market near the White House, I met a homeless man named Martin, who was selling newspapers and waiting to go to a drug and alcohol treatment program in West Virginia.

I had seen Martin on previous trips to the market but didn't say more than "Hi!" or smile at him.  Today, I bought a newspaper from him and we started talking.  Martin told me that as a vendor for Street Sense newspapers he is similiar to a self-employed subcontractor.  That means that when I buy a newspaper I am investing in him and Street Sense.

I told him I had seen other people around town, especially near the Metro stops, selling Street Sense, but I didn't really know much about it.  Martin said that people usually think that he and others selling the newspapers go to a central office somewhere in DC to pick up free newspapers and then the homeless people sell them to make money.  That's not the whole picture.

Martin purchases his own newspapers upfront for 35 cents/an issue to cover publishing costs and he sells the papers for a suggested donation of $1.  This means that when a newspaper is bought for $1, that 35 cents of it repays Martin for his initial purchase.  The remaining 65 cents is Martin's profit that he uses to support himself.  The average vendor can earn about $45 a day.

I was curious about Martin's story because I know life can present changes quickly and I wondered how he had gotten to this place.  I also know it takes an inner strength to live life on the streets and to stay clean and heal yourself of drugs and alcohol. 

Martin said he is 40 years old and has a 20-year-old son.  He said he has a mother, a brother and a sister who live in the area "but they have lives of their own."  He told me he once worked in a law firm many years ago as the company's debt collector.  He was hurt in a car accident and wanted to take more time off than the company allowed, so he was laid off.  Martin said that's when his life totally unraveled and the drinking and drugs "helped me forget reality."

 

He has lived in shelters for years, just finished a 30-day rehab program at another facility and is now enrolled in a another program at So Others Might Eat (SOME).  The SOME program involves Martin going to West Virginia for 90 days of drug and alcohol rehabilitation and extensive support treatments.  He was supposed to leave for West Virginia this week but he had to go to the dentist today to have a tooth removed.  Martin said he is grateful to be in the SOME rehab program (which paid for his dental work) because after he completes the rehab program, SOME will also help him find transitional housing and then eventually his own apartment.

 

I asked him what keeps him going when times get really tough.  "I have discouraging moments," Martin said, "but I really can't imagine quitting on life itself."  

 

Martin quietly added: "When people consistently see a person living on the streets, don't assume that it is easy to get it back together.  Once you have lost everything it is very difficult to get back to mainstream living."

 

I thanked Martin for his time and wished him good luck.  I told him when I come to the market next week that I hoped I wouldn't see him here.  He said next week he hoped to be in the mountains of West Virginia following his rehab program.

On the way back to my office I thought about how I had gone to buy fresh veggies but learned about another person's journey.  Martin is remarkably resilient, constantly trying to stay clean and never giving up on himself.  I hope his life continues on its present course.

Now when I see someone in a neon vest selling Street Sense newspapers on the streets of Washington, DC, I'll know how these people are working a program and that buying a newspaper can help change a life.