Getting In Gear

The calendar still says February but the warm temperatures this weekend offered me hope that Spring is close to arriving in my area of the world.

I think my neighbors felt the same way because all weekend I saw them emerging from their homes of hibernation, waving hellos and walking around their yards picking up recently fallen branches and small sticks and checking out winter's damages.  It was also nice to see the baby brigade out and about with strollers and young toddlers in tow.  While doing my errands, everyone seemed to be energized by the warm and shining sun.  Coats disappeared and even some shorts and flip flops appeared on a few righteous teenagers.  

 

Stretching and breathing in fresh air was the order of the day and it just felt great all around.  Even though I felt the tug of the next episode of "House of Cards" mentally calling me to the computer, I ignored it's mesmerizing pull and instead went for a long walk for at least a mile or two.  It's definitely a good walk when I lose track of time and distance and it's also definitely amazing how a walk can reset your outlook and change your mood.

 

 

We've gotten a lot of snow this season so it's been harder to go outside and exercise but I try to remind myself that I always feel better when I get myself in gear and do some sort of exercise whether it's walking, bicycling, dancing or running.  I tell myself myself that exercising offsets the bad effects of sitting in front of the computer for hours a time but unfortunately that doesn't seem to be true according to some recent news stories. 

 

It's a fact of life that I spend a lot of time in front of the computer.  Hours and hours.  When I am at my full-time job five days a week, I try to periodically get up and walk around the office to squeeze in some exercise time and then I try to do the same when I am at home writing Cry Laugh Heal which is not work at all but truly a passion for me.

It's a constant battle and as I get older I can see that activity truly is the key to having and maintaining good health.  I like to sometimes follow these three simple suggestions from The American Diabetes Association on how to increase physical activity in your daily routine: 

 

--Take the stairs, not the elevator.
--Park further away from your destination, so you have to walk more.
--At home, make several trips upstairs to building extra cardio into such things as putting away laundry or other household chores.

Good luck with your personal fitness and here is the link to the National Public Radio story that made me think differently about sitting around and vegging out:

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/02/19/279460759/sit-more-and-youre-more-likely-to-be-disabled-after-age-60?utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=20140223&utm_source=mostemailed

Sonia Sotomayor

I am a big believer in the idea that when someone offers you a helping hand that you should turn around and offer your hand to help someone else.

It's the right thing to do and haven't you also found that you always get more out of life when you become actively involved and emotionally invest in it?  I know I do!

I'm guessing that U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor practices this same philosophy because she recently went back to her childhood roots in the Bronx, NY and spent the day with young children from the Dream Big program at Environment Day held at Fordham University.  Dream Big is a four to six week summer arts enrichment program for elementary school aged children program at local schools and community based organizations.

US Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor reads
to the children at the Dream Big program

Sotomayor had a rough childhood.  She was born in a public housing project, her father was an alcoholic and she was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes when she was eight years old.  After her father died when she was nine, her mother worked as nurse and raised Sonia and her brother, Juan.  The power of education was something their mother emphasized over and over to them and it was Sonia's ticket out of the Bronx.

 

She was inspired by Nancy Drew books (my favorite too!) and those books plus watching Perry Mason on television lead to her wanting to become a lawyer and ultimately the first Hispanic to become a member of the Supreme Court.

"My dream is that each of you finds your dream and that it comes true," Sotomayor told the children.  "And I hope that when you reach your dream, you'll write me a letter and you'll tell me."

Despite her very busy schedule on the Supreme Court, Sotomayor frequently returns to the Bronx, which she calls her "beloved world," to stay involved with her dynamic community, to give back what she has learned so far in her life journey and to help inspire children to achieve goals that may take them beyond their neighborhoods.

"Don't give up chasing your dreams," Sotomayor said.

 

Giving to others can offer us a view of ourselves as strong and valued and needed.  Whether you come from the Bronx or you are in a place where you are trying to rebuild your life, I hope Sonia Sotomayor's tenacity inspires you to stay on your path and continue to follow your passions wherever they may take you and don't forget to help another person along the way.

Parents Are Human Too

While celebrating my son's birthday recently, he asked me once again what it was like the day he was born.

 

I think every child likes to reminisce about the day of their birth and what everyone was doing as they were arriving into the world.  His questions about how long I was in labor, what was happening in the hospital and what Daddy was doing were expected.

 

But that conversation evolved into a bittersweet conversation about his Dad and some of the frustrating health issues he had before his death.  His Dad (my husband) was diabetic and injected insulin.  He was not overweight.  He developed diabetes later in life and controlled his diabetes with pills for a number of years but then was hospitalized with acute pneumonia which caused his sugar levels to go out of control.  Injecting insulin was the only way the doctors could stabilize his sugar count.

 

Too put it mildly, diabetes and my husband were not a good match at all.  I know of two people who are diabetic and both inject insulin.  They are religious about checking their blood sugar, eating well and exercising on a regular basis.  These were not things my husband did on a regular basis or even wanted to do daily.

 

His pills would sit on the table, he would go for hours without testing his blood sugar, he would eat desserts and he would drink alcohol.  Don't get me wrong.  I loved my husband desperately but there were times when I felt I was fighting harder for his health than he was.  I will give him credit for the efforts that he did make for short periods of time when he would try to change his habits but then it would become too much and he would let it all slide again.

 

 

Our son remembers the arguments about diet and exercise and medicine and I know that this created anxiety.  I don't particularly enjoy answering these questions from my son but I'm also not going to hide the truth from him and run away from the reality of our situation.  Going back in our memories to those times is painful and we truly tried to make things easier for him because we knew he was sick but in the end it wasn't enough.

 

It is very hard to explain to a child that their parent is not all that they think they are or want them to be.  You want to think and talk only about the good times but that's not life.  We have to learn to take the good with the bad. 

We're all human.  We make mistakes.  Our hearts are in the right place and so are our intentions but we don't always carry through on our goals.  I've had my share of screw-ups but I'm still here so my son can argue with me when he is annoyed or angry at something I've done.  His Dad isn't here and he can't talk to him or confront him with his issues and that creates pain and sometimes anger.

Give yourself and others permission to feel and talk about these conflicted emotions.  In the end, I think it's okay to love someone but still be angry at them for some of the choices they made while they were with you. 

It's their actions that we don't like because our love for the person is still there.  Always.

Porch Painting

I am painting the screened-in porch on our house and it is taking me a lot longer than I thought it would.  This time around there is more sanding and it just seems as though there is more to paint.  I had forgotten the amount of prep work necessary before you can even put the brush in the paint.  Oh well...I'm making progress as the radio blasts America's Top 40, even though I'm occasionally pulled back to thoughts about the last time I painted the porch.

Eight years ago, the porch was new and my husband was alive.  He loved the porch and spent a lot of time there reading and resting.  Often I would find him sitting in one of the chairs with his eyes closed, feeling the soft breeze.  Or he would just sit out there by himself staring off into the distance.  I often wonder if he knew how sick he was at that point.  I think he felt very tired from the diabetes and his heart condition, but I never really knew what he was thinking about because once he saw me he acted as though everything was fine.  He would smile and then ask me what was going on in the world.



When I was painting the ceiling, my husband would sit inside in the family room and read one of the many  newspapers we had delivered to the house.  Sometimes he would read stories out loud to me if he thought he found one that was particularly interesting or weird or involved someone we did or didn't like very much.  Of course, I didn't always agree with the selection of stories he decided to read to me.  If he started to read something that I particularly considered a waste of time, I would yell something back like, "Stop reading.  I don't want to hear anything more about blankety blank."  Did he stop reading?  Nooooo way.  He would go on reading until he reached the end.  It would drive me crazy but it also made me paint faster.

As a family, we ate lunch and dinner on the porch as much as we could and my son and I still spend just about the same amount of time out there.  But DC summers can get really hot and humid and at some point the weather becomes unbearable and we have to retreat inside for a cooler place to eat.  My favorite times on the porch are late dinners on the weekend.  Just as finish our meal, the sun starts to set and we light the candles.  No one is in a hurry and we lazily talk and catch up with one another.  Of course, we thought that routine would never end; that we would always hang out on the porch and have relaxing dinners.  We had no idea what was in store for us and it was just as well.

It's still a very special porch and lately it has been the site for graduation and birthday celebrations.  I know it will continue to be the site of many more happy family events.  One event, planned for later this summer, is a bridal shower for one of my nieces who is getting married in November 2011.  New memories will be made with this bridal party and I look forward to celebrating my niece, her fiance and their exciting future.  And in the midst of all the bridal excitement and the wedding decorations and gifts, I will sweetly remember the man that I was once married to.