With A Little Help From My Friends

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends,

Mmm, gonna try with a little help from my friends. . .

 

                                        ~ The Beatles

Whether it's alcoholism, gambling, overeating, drug addiction or grief, I believe that others who are traveling the same unpredictable path as ourselves can often offer the greatest amount of inspiration.

It may seem slow and incredibly painful but I found that when you sit and share your story with others facing the same issues, there is a sense of relief that you have finally found people who understand the depth of what you are feeling and how hard it is to handle.  In searching for a way to begin healing, support groups offer safety because you find you are not alone in your emotional turmoil.

In my grief support group, I was particularly inspired by a middle-aged woman who had lost her husband and an adult child.  I would listen to her and be amazed that she somehow had found a way to carry on with her life.  Given the same circumstances, I'm not even sure I would be able to get up, get dressed and get out the door of my house.  Seriously.

Laying bare your pain, guilt, shame, anger or even desires sounds like it would be a humiliating experience but I never found it to be.  In support group meetings, I was totally vulnerable but I wasn't afraid to talk and share because I had found an atmosphere of support and understanding.  There was no criticism or censoring of any kind. 

And that kind of support can take you anywhere you want to go.

In Boston, it took Marty Walsh all the way to the mayor's office.  Walsh's background is as a state legislator and a labor leader but the other part of his amazing story is that he also believes in extending a helping hand to those with addiction problems. 

 

 

 

Walsh, a recovering alcoholic who still attends AA meetings after 18 years of sobriety, was elected Nov. 5 to the city's highest office, the office of mayor, with the help of many former drug addicts and drinkers who worked on his campaign staff and also volunteered canvassing door to door to get the word out about Walsh.

 

Walsh said the support from former addicts was invaluable to him not because of the political rewards that came out of their work but because of the personal and emotional rewards of watching people find hope, get involved and work for something they believe in.

 

"They give me the emotional strength to keep moving," Walsh said in an interview with The New York Times.

 

And that, my friends, is the essence of why support groups work.

 

They give you the emotional strength, the strength you so desperately need, when you are adrift in a sea of hurt.

 

Congratulations Marty and good luck to you!!

"Loved You First" Cover - Owen Danoff

Music can change my mood in an instant!

If you are anything like me, you probably have songs in your iPod that you listen to only when you exercise and those songs are probably different from music that you play when you want to relax or just chill. 

I think from the moment we are born we are sensitive to sounds and how those sounds make us feel. 

 

Listening to music can be therapeutic and soothing; truly a stressbuster.  I believe that music can truly heal your soul.  Or it can get your creatives juices going and help to push you through a project.  I think we are definitely hardwired for sound.  That's the only way to explain why when we hear certain songs or even certain sounds, it can instantly bring back memories and transport us to the time and place when we first heard it. 

 

You can't explain why you connect to a singer's voice.  You just like it the first time you hear it.

 

That's the way I feel about Owen Danoff's voice.  I first heard him singing with a group on a clip that a friend sent me.  There were a few places in the song where he sang by himself and I didn't know it was him until I asked.  I liked his voice right away.

 

Owen Danoff is a young Washington, DC singer songwriter, a multi-talented artist who is starting to make a name for himself in the music industry by writing songs and playing gigs in New York City, Boston, Nashville, Los Angeles and of course, DC.  He is a graduate of the Berklee College of music and a 2012-2013 artist in residence at the Strathmore Music Center (www.owendanoff.com).

 

Check out this jammin' cover of  One Direction's "Loved You First" that Owen recently cut with the also multi-talented singer Mike Squillante.  Mike is in the middle playing the guitar and doing vocals and is accompanied by Adrien Godat on bass.  You can also find this on YouTube:

 

 

Irish Power

I love a day dedicated to the celebration of all things Irish!  St. Patrick's day is definitely all about having a grand time but there's a lot more to being Irish than hanging out in a bar and drinking green beer, downing pints of Guinness and slamming whiskey shots.

 

 

To me, it's also a day to pause, think about my peeps and take pride in my culture.  It's a culture rich in its ancient history and magical in its talents.  We are story tellers, dancers, weavers of thoughts and ideas and a people who have a lot of pride in their simple roots.  We have a way of looking at the world a little differently and there's certainly a humorous or witty twist associated with our point of view.  And we always like to break the rules a bit and shake things up.  Why be like everyone else?

Years ago when the Irish first arrived in Boston, there was movement against hiring the Irish.  To make sure the Irish got the message, businesses would hang the following sign in the window if they had a job opening: "HELP WANTED No Irish Need Apply."  A friend of mine found one of those signs on eBay and gave it to me.  I had it framed and it hangs in my office as a gentle reminder of the way things used to be.  I think you can safely say we've made a lot of progress since those days.

It's also a day when I am reminded of how I got my name.  When my mother was pregnant with me, she and my father went to the movies to see "The Quiet Man," starring John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara.  The movie was filmed in Ireland and John Wayne plays the role of an American boxer named Sean Thornton who travels back to Ireland to escape controversy and reclaim his  roots.  Maureen O' Hara plays a firey Irish lass named Mary Kate Danaher.  My parents fell in love with the name as soon as they heard it and agreed that if they had a girl they would name her Mary Kate.

Flash forward many many years to 1989 and my late husband and I are traveling in Ireland.  We splurged and stayed one night in the spectacular Ashford Castle because "The Quiet Man" was filmed on the grounds surrounding the castle.  It was a memorable trip and we loved that every day at 4 pm "The Quiet Man" is shown on the hotel's television channel.  Sometimes when I am meeting someone new they make the connection between my name and the movie and they will repeat some lines from the movie to me.  It's a wonderful funny movie directed by John Ford.  I never tire of watching it and you should check it out.

In honor of St. Patrick's Day, I would like to share two wee items.  The first one is a traditional Irish Blessing:

May the road rise to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back,

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

The rains fall soft upon your fields and,

Until we meet again,

May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.

The second item is a favorite saying from a friend of mine:

 "Dress British.  Think Yiddish.  Be Irish."

Happy St. Patrick's Day!