Here's A Truth

Here's a truth:  when I write about the importance of being positive and finding positive inspiration in our lives, the idea of finding and doing that sometimes is as much for me as it is for you.

 

Please don't ever get the idea that I always have it together and that I am always able to just forge ahead with my life without any hesitations or second guessing or feeling inadequate.  I have those feelings just as anyone would.

I don't know about you, but those feelings tend to sneak up on me when I least suspect it and I fight hard to push them away so that they don't become the dominant feelings that I act on. 

 

I have lots of things going on in my life that I would love to write about because I think these situations are similar to things going on in your life.  But I can't.  I can't write about them because the people involved would be annoyed with me and would misunderstand why I wrote about it.

And so I keep this personal stuff to myself and try to work it out the best way I know.  Just as everyone is carrying around emotional conflicts, I am too.  Cry, Laugh, Heal is a place to share and come together and find healing and perhaps even strength.  But don't ever think that my life is one big problem free zone.

 

It's unfortunate I can't write about these other situations because I think in writing about something you are taking a step towards solving it.

 

You are calling it whatever it is.  You have a name for it.  Whether it's dysfunction, bullying, aging, sickness, mental health issues, or physical handicaps, I feel there is freedom in calling things what they are and speaking the truth.  For I may feel that only I am having these feelings, but I know that can't be true.  I know from what I read, what I hear and from my personal life that others feel it too.   

 

And that's why I am writing today about where I find myself.

 

There are days, and recently there are a lot of them, when I struggle to stay positive.  I struggle to remain faithful to the idea that things will eventually work out, that everything will be all right.

And when I am in that struggle I try to just let things be.

I remind myself that the answer will come in its own time.  I call back the resources from my support group, my family and my friends.  I close my eyes and softly say Reinhold Niebuhr's famous serenity prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Afterwards, I do feel hopeful.  There is something about this prayer that give me strength.  I feel less alone and ready to continue on my path wherever it takes me.

Perhaps we can travel on life's path together, working through those tough or stressful times using friendship, compassion and always humor!

 

Looking For Serenity

When building emotional resilience within yourself, I find it best to start in small ways.  In the beginning, and even now, almost every day, I work on looking at what happens to me and telling myself that I cannot control what happens to me but I can control my response to it.

When you constantly struggle with something, it can be stressful because you keep doing the same action over and over again yet you keep achieving the same end result.  It feels as if you are hitting your head against a brick wall.  I usually end up asking myself  "Why isn't anything changing?   "Why isn't this working?"  I have a talk with myself and really try to see what's going on.  This is not an overnight process; at least it isn't for me.

Whether an event is good or bad, happy or traumatic, I tell myself that there is always an opportunity to step back and teach myself something about problem solving rather than looking at a problem as something that overwhelms me. Problems are not always personal threats or personal attacks. Problems are just part of life.

There are many times that I just never figure out what is going on and I just have to make peace with whatever's going on.  But other times I find when I slowly change my response to a situation -- the way I talk to someone, the tone of voice I use, my body language -- then sometimes; sometimes mind you, not all the time; small changes do come about.

And then there are times when you just have to let something be.  It is what it is.

That's when I am reminded of Reinhold Niebuhr's famous serenity prayer:

 God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.