Be More Awesome!

I'm usually pretty good at motivating myself but this morning I needed Kid President to give me a good kick in the butt to push me out the door.

Kid President.  Just looking at his cute little face makes me want to smile.

But he's more than a cute face. 

Kid President

Kid President says this video is for teachers and students but really it's for all of us. 

We all have it going on.  Brains.  Ideas.  Energy.  Emotions.  Work Ethic.  Sense of Humor.

We just need to believe it.  No matter what is going on today in your life, you are beautiful!!

So let's start the work week with a positive vibe.  Go out there and do what you do best.

Be more awesome!!

Put your A Game out there today and show the world just how awesome you are!!

This YouTube link below will take you to Kid President's sweet Pep Talk:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwlhUcSGqgs

George Carlin's Observations

Every day is an opportunity, right?

 

I try to keep this simple but positive thought with me as much as possible even if I am having a really sh#*tty day.

 

I try to learn some useful lesson from the incredible number of mistakes I constantly make and then I push myself to move on to the next thing. 

 

That's why a new day is so great.  We all get to try and do it all over again and maybe this time even try it a different way.

 

A new day means I have the opportunity of 24 new hours in front me in which I can make a go at kicking an old habit, working a little harder to achieve a personal goal or making better food choices so that I can lead a healthier life.

 

That why I love this short piece below by George Carlin!!  One of my sisters recently emailed this insightful piece to me and I had to share it with you because it's amazing and in some ways so true about today's way of living.

Comedian George Carlin

SOMETHING TO PONDER

By George Carlin

George Carlin's wife died early in 2008 and George followed her, dying in July 2008. It is ironic that George Carlin - a Grammy Award winning, stand-up comedian of the 70's and 80's known for his "Seven Dirty Words" routine  - could write something so timeless and so very appropriate. 

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.  We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years.

 

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.  Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.

Resting Your Mind

 

The older I get, the more I find the below quote to be true.

 

  What do you think?

 

 

Photo Courtesy of French Essence

"The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook."

                                  ~William James

                                     The Principles of Psychology

A Friend's Good Bye Letter

Last week a childhood friend of my father's died.  They had known each other since they were in grade school and met each other while playing on the black top when they were about seven or eight years old.  They both went on to attend the same high school, playing basketball, and later both went into the insurance business working for different companies.

 

 

Over the years, they stayed in touch with each other as best they could.  They both worked very hard while trying to raise large Irish Catholic families.  My father and mother had six children and my Dad's friend and his wife had eight children.  Our families didn't really mix, not because we didn't want to, but more because the ages of the children were different we didn't live close to their neighborhood and there basically was just too much stuff going on to try and coordinate anything.

 

When you have known someone for as long as my Dad and his friend knew each other it is hard to let go.  My Dad knew that his friend was not well but didn't know how sick he was until he received the news of his friend's death.  One way to keep the person connected to you is write a letter to the person now deceased.  I don't think this is morbid.  In fact, I think it's very healthy.

 

The person who died is someone who had an important place in your life.  The person is physically gone but the friendship is still there.  Sharing memories -- whether it's through writing a letter or talking to others about this person -- is a healthy way to process your feelings of grief and to establish  to yourself that the friendship or perhaps love in other cases, is still there and will always be.

 

 

Now my Dad is writing a letter to his friend's widow and their adult children about his special friendship with this man and it is bringing back a lot of great memories for him which he hopes will also be a comfort in the days and years ahead as they and my Dad work through their loss.

 

Don't ever unestimate the importance of a note written from the heart.  After my husband died, I received cards from people who worked with my husband or were friends with him and some wrote notes to me about how they knew him and their experiences with him.  I saved those cards because those notes were like little pieces of a puzzle that was my husband.  Sometimes the stories caught me by surprise and other times I only knew the story from my husband's point of view and the handwritten note reveal a different side of him to me.

Let me be honest, sometimes the stories weren't always the best but either way, the notes were part of dealing honestly and openly with our feelings of grief and trying to find comfort in reaching out and sharing.
 

Peace Is The Way

  

PEACE IS THE WAY

 

By Alan Nordstrom

“There is no way to peace; peace is the way,”

 

Wise Gandhi said, by which I think he meant

 

We have to be that which we seek, and play

 

The role we would become with clear intent.

 

For as I think and act so shall I be,

 

And so the world around me shall become:

 

If violently, then war shall vanquish me;

 

If lovingly, then peace shall still the drum.

 

It’s in our hands and hearts and minds to choose

 

The manner we live by, day after day:

 

Shall it be marching boots or dancing shoes,

 

Aggression or compassion? Pick the way,

 

Not where to go, but who and how to be:

 

To live in anger—or serenity.

A Grandfather's Last Letter

 

 

Grandfathers and Grandchildren Learn From Each Other

Many people have good intentions when it comes to writing down their thoughts and feelings about their loved ones.  But then, unfortunately, something happens and they never get to it.  Letting those who are special to you know exactly how you feel about them on paper (in a positive way) is an incredible gift.  Without such a note or letter you are left to either guess at how the person felt about you or you can go on your memory, which depending on your age, could be fuzzy. 

 

Now along comes James K. Flanagan and he shows us all how to do it.

 

God bless James K. Flanagan for he knew how to put more happiness into the lives of his grandchildren by leaving them with a one-of-a-kind treasure.  I saw this story yesterday in the Huffington Post and right away was amazed by what Flanagan wrote to his five grandchildren a few months before he died. 

 

I can't pick out the most important pieces of wisdom Flanagan listed for they all are important for different reasons.  Outstanding job Mr. Flanagan.  I think you covered everything!!!

James K. Flanagan: A Grandfather's Last Letter To His Grandkids

On Sept. 3, 2012, James K. Flanagan of West Long Branch, N.J., died unexpectedly of a heart attack. He wrote this letter to his five grandchildren just months earlier and it is reprinted here with the permission of his daughter Rachel Creighton.

Dear Ryan, Conor, Brendan, Charlie, and Mary Catherine,

My wise and thoughtful daughter Rachel urged me to write down some advice for you, the important things that I have learned about life. I am beginning this on 8 April 2012, the eve of my 72nd birthday.

1. Each one of you is a wonderful gift of God both to your family and to all the world. Remember it always, especially when the cold winds of doubt and discouragement fall upon your life.

2. Be not afraid . . . of anyone or of anything when it comes to living your life most fully. Pursue your hopes and your dreams no matter how difficult or "different" they may seem to others. Far too many people don't do what they want or should do because of what they imagine others may think or say. Remember, if they don't bring you chicken soup when you're sick or stand by you when you're in trouble, they don't matter. Avoid those sour-souled pessimists who listen to your dreams then say, "Yeah, but what if . . ." The heck with "what if. . ." Do it! The worst thing in life is to look back and say: "I would have; I could have; I should have." Take risks, make mistakes.

3. Everyone in the world is just an ordinary person. Some people may wear fancy hats or have big titles or (temporarily) have power and want you to think they are above the rest. Don't believe them. They have the same doubts, fears, and hopes; they eat, drink, sleep, and fart like everyone else. Question authority always but be wise and careful about the way you do it.

4. Make a Life List of all those things you want to do: travel to places; learn a skill; master a language; meet someone special. Make it long and do some things from it every year. Don't say "I'll do it tomorrow" (or next month or next year). That is the surest way to fail to do something. There is no tomorrow, and there is no "right" time to begin something except now.

5. Practice the Irish proverb: Moi an olge agus tiocfaidh sí "Praise the child and she will flourish."

6. Be kind and go out of your way to help people -- especially the weak, the fearful, and children. Everyone is carrying a special sorrow, and they need our compassion.

7. Don't join the military or any organization that trains you to kill. War is evil. All wars are started by old men who force or fool young men to hate and to kill each other. The old men survive, and, just as they started the war with pen and paper, they end it the same way. So many good and innocent people die. If wars are so good and noble, why aren't those leaders who start wars right up there fighting?

8. Read books, as many as you can. They are a wonderful source of delight, wisdom, and inspiration. They need no batteries or connections, and they can go anywhere.

9. Be truthful.

10. Travel: always but especially when you are young. Don't wait until you have "enough" money or until everything is "just right." That never happens. Get your passport today.

11. Pick your job or profession because you love to do it. Sure, there will be some things hard about it, but a job must be a joy. Beware of taking a job for money alone -- it will cripple your soul.

12. Don't yell. It never works, and it hurts both yourself and others. Every time I have yelled, I have failed.

13. Always keep promises to children. Don't say "we'll see" when you mean "no." Children expect the truth; give it to them with love and kindness.

14. Never tell anyone you love them when you don't.

15. Live in harmony with Nature: go into the outdoors, woods, mountains, sea, desert. It's important for your soul.

16. Visit Ireland. It's where the soul of our family was born -- especially the West: Roscommon, Clare, and Kerry.

17. Hug people you love. Tell them how much they mean to you now; don't wait until it's too late.

18. Be grateful. There is an Irish saying: "This is a day in our lives, and it will not come again." Live every day with this in mind.

As was written in his obituary, James K. Flanagan "was proudly liberal and fought unyieldingly for the underdog. He was an accomplished author, poet, and seanchai -- Irish storyteller; he reveled in recounting the joy of growing up Catholic in Jersey City and his adventures in the Adirondack Mountains and on the Western coast of Ireland. His greatest love was spending time with his family, most of all his five grandchildren" Ryan (11); Conor (10); Brendan (9); Charles (8); and Mary Catherine (5)."

Working Through Emotional Pain

 

Sunrise off the coast of Ireland

 

 

At one time, I thought that if you ignored something unpleasant it would go away or solve itself on it's own.

 

And sometimes that actually does happen: people move away, they change jobs or people decide to transfer their children to another school.

 

But for the big emotional stuff -- grieving, divorce, abuse, illness -- I find you have to face it and slowly work through the painful issues to get to the other side of it and eventually heal your inner self.  I have found that if you ignore the emotional pain from these traumas, the pain only becomes worse and unfortunately, it takes a lot longer to heal.

 

Sometimes we cannot heal on our own as hard as we may try and when that happens you may find that you need to talk to a professional or find a support group which may help you work through your painful experiences.  I say thank goodness these resources exist so that we can take advantage of them!

 

In the October 2012 issue of Oprah magazine, I found some words of wisdom from Iyanla Vanzant that may help you take the first steps to dealing what has happened to you.  Iyanla Vanzant is the host of OWN's Iyanla's Fix My Life.  Here is her take on how to get past emotional pain:

 

"Everything we experience -- no matter how unpleasant -- comes into our lives to teach us something.  To move on from something difficult, look for the lesson.

 

Start by asking yourself: If this is the way things are supposed to be, what can I learn from it?

 

Think about how you may have contributed to the painful experience, or if there was anything you could have done to prevent it.  Often we don't realize the lesson because we'd rather avoid reliving the pain.  But once you allow yourself to reflect on the sadness, anger, guilt, or shame you've been hiding, those feelings will begin to subside.

 

Yes, someone hurt you.  Once you've forgiven them and let go, you can move forward and begin creating the life you desire."

Looking For Serenity

When building emotional resilience within yourself, I find it best to start in small ways.  In the beginning, and even now, almost every day, I work on looking at what happens to me and telling myself that I cannot control what happens to me but I can control my response to it.

When you constantly struggle with something, it can be stressful because you keep doing the same action over and over again yet you keep achieving the same end result.  It feels as if you are hitting your head against a brick wall.  I usually end up asking myself  "Why isn't anything changing?   "Why isn't this working?"  I have a talk with myself and really try to see what's going on.  This is not an overnight process; at least it isn't for me.

Whether an event is good or bad, happy or traumatic, I tell myself that there is always an opportunity to step back and teach myself something about problem solving rather than looking at a problem as something that overwhelms me. Problems are not always personal threats or personal attacks. Problems are just part of life.

There are many times that I just never figure out what is going on and I just have to make peace with whatever's going on.  But other times I find when I slowly change my response to a situation -- the way I talk to someone, the tone of voice I use, my body language -- then sometimes; sometimes mind you, not all the time; small changes do come about.

And then there are times when you just have to let something be.  It is what it is.

That's when I am reminded of Reinhold Niebuhr's famous serenity prayer:

 God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Happiness Is A Choice

Dear Readers,

Today's post is a continution of yesterday's chat about life being easier to navigate when you embrace a positive attitude.  As the below story says, happiness is a choice, and you can practice it as much as you want!!

A very good friend sent me this story that was recently published in a British newspaper called The Guardian.  It gently addresses the thoughts of people who know they are at the end of their lives.  The story is timely because it gets right to the core of addressing how we live our lives verses how we wish we had lived our lives.  My friend said she found the story below to be "rather uplifting, because we might still have time to prevent some of our own regrets."  I agree!

True happiness comes from forgetting about yourself and doing something for someone else just because you want to, not because of what you're going to get in return.  You do it just because you know it makes the other person happy. 

I found this philosophy to be true even after my husband died.  Helping my son, a friend or someone at work freed up my mind and let me temporarily think about something else.  Sometimes it was a relief to get out of that heavy cloud of hurt and try to become part of something lighter. 

Focusing on the bad, the ugly and the negative, just puts you in a bad, ugly or negative frame of mind and it's hard to believe that anything constructive will come out of that.  I hope you enjoy this story as much as I did:

Top five regrets of the dying

By Susie Steiner

The Guardian

Wednesday 1 February, 2012

A nurse has recorded the most common regrets of the dying, and among the top ones is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'. What would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of life?

A palliative nurse has recorded the top five regrets of the dying. Photograph: Montgomery Martin/Alamy

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?