Positive Vibes

I remind myself every day, all the time in fact, that I have a choice in how I decide to view the world.

 

I can be negative about things, which is self-perpetuating and draining and doesn't really get me anywhere.

 

Or I can choose to think positively about the amazing and beautiful world around us.

 

Positive thinking brings about positive energy which keeps me going and continually connecting with others.

 

Abraham Lincoln once said, "Most folks are about as happy as they choose to be."  Each day, I think it takes a conscious effort to emphasize the positive and disregard the negative.  Open yourself up to the positive vibes of life and try to shut the door on the negative ones. 

Choose happiness day after day.

Get outside and move around.  Get your heart pumping and breathe in fresh air.  Drink in the natural beauty around you.  Studies show that as little as 5 minutes of walking in a natural setting can increase your self-esteem, boost your mood, and slash high-blood pressure, according to Prevention magazine. New research also says that people who are active outdoors exercise longer than those who work out inside only.

As we move into a long holiday weekend (YEAH!!), please check out this beautifully photographed video about Mother Earth and her amazing resources.  We really do live on an incredible planet! 

Please enjoy the video which was made by the people who wrote The Secret and the calming music was composed for the clip by Jo Blakenburg.

 

Tax Day

Today is dreaded Tax Day which means that people in the United States must file individual tax returns with the Internal Revenue Service.

Not to worry for those who aren't prepared to file your taxes today.  The IRS allows you to file an extension which gives you until October 15 to file.  Thank goodness right?  There is more time if you need it!

Taxes are confusing under even the most normal of circumstances.  According to CBS News, the U.S. tax code is more than 73,000 pages long. Just figuring out what to pay eats up an estimated 6.1 billion hours of our time each year.

But if you are filing as a widow or widower this year for the first time, I send you my condolences.  I've been there and it's a hard place to be.  You are deep in grief and you just want everything to stop.  Yet the world around you continues to go on and it's jarring to face reality.  Taxes are just one more thing from a list of many that are now your responsibility as the surviving spouse.

With all of the emotional upheaval you are trying to deal with since your loss, I'm sure taxes are the very last thing on your mind.  Or at least they were for me.

 

Maybe your spouse was in charge of this responsibility and all you had to do was sign the papers.  Or maybe you were involved and helped gather papers, receipts and other financial essentials to prepare your taxes with your spouse.  Either way, your financial future is now in your hands.

 

But the good news is that there are lots of resources out there and if you feel overwhelmed by doing your own taxes then it's okay to get or ask for help.  Give yourself a break.

You aren't alone in your confusion.  I get help with my taxes every year and I feel good to have found an accountant I can trust.  Tax laws change all the time and there is no way the average person can keep up with them.  I use and need an accountant now and even before my husband died because neither one of us was good at that kind of thing.  We would gather our receipts and statements together, talk about some stuff we weren't sure of and then make an appointment to talk to the accountant.

 

The first year after my husband died was particularly difficult.  Going backwards in the checkbook and other financial papers forced me to relive the year and all of the ups and down of hospitalization, doctor's appointments and other events that I didn't really want to think about.  But the next year was a little easier and the next year after that a little easier too.

 

It takes time to figure out what works for you.  I did gain confidence in setting up my own system and keeping track of the household expenses and I bet you will too!

January Baby

 

 

 

I am a January Baby and yesterday was my birthday.

I am happy to have a birthday (Elvis and I were born on the same day!) but I wish I had been born at a different time of the year.

 

By the time my birthday arrives, people are usually burnt out from the holidays.  Throughout the years, I have found that friends and family are either on a diet in January or they had spent too much money on Christmas so they are back on a budget in January.  Sometimes I have received gifts in Christmas wrapping paper and sometimes I have received one gift that is for Christmas and my birthday together.

 

I think it's an early January thing.

 

I like warm and/or hot weather much better than cold weather so I envy those people who have birthdays when it's warm.  They have it made in the shade so to speak!

 

But yesterday in Washington, DC it was a beautiful day.  The sun was shining and there was no snow on the ground...Yeah!!! And as I walked down the street from my office to meet a wonderful friend for a spontaneous birthday lunch (those are the best!), I thought about all of my blessings and the huge positives in my life.

 

I work hard to stay healthy and I will continue to do that this year but I also want to learn to meditate.  I think meditation would add a sense of calm to make mental being that I don't always have right now and would help me feel me more mentally fit.  There is a mind/body connection that I need to address because research -- and life experience -- shows that stress drains the body of energy, causing it to function less effectively.

 

I also have reached a stage in life where I no longer wait for things to happen.  I like to learn new things and to put myself out there a bit.  What's the worst that can happen?  Let's see...I could fail and look foolish (like that's never happened before!) or I could succeed (YES!).

 

I'm not talking about forcing a situation, rather the idea that if there is something you have always wanted to try then go ahead and try it.  You can't wait for certain circumstances to present themselves because then you might be waiting a long time.  I don't want to look back on something years later and wonder what would have happened if I done such and such a thing.

For me, the simple life, a life full of friends, family, good health and my dear readers is the life well lived.

Without those essentials I have no base or foundation of being.  Those essentials give me purpose and an endless supply of resources to celebrate the gift of life every year.

Working Through Emotional Pain

 

Sunrise off the coast of Ireland

 

 

At one time, I thought that if you ignored something unpleasant it would go away or solve itself on it's own.

 

And sometimes that actually does happen: people move away, they change jobs or people decide to transfer their children to another school.

 

But for the big emotional stuff -- grieving, divorce, abuse, illness -- I find you have to face it and slowly work through the painful issues to get to the other side of it and eventually heal your inner self.  I have found that if you ignore the emotional pain from these traumas, the pain only becomes worse and unfortunately, it takes a lot longer to heal.

 

Sometimes we cannot heal on our own as hard as we may try and when that happens you may find that you need to talk to a professional or find a support group which may help you work through your painful experiences.  I say thank goodness these resources exist so that we can take advantage of them!

 

In the October 2012 issue of Oprah magazine, I found some words of wisdom from Iyanla Vanzant that may help you take the first steps to dealing what has happened to you.  Iyanla Vanzant is the host of OWN's Iyanla's Fix My Life.  Here is her take on how to get past emotional pain:

 

"Everything we experience -- no matter how unpleasant -- comes into our lives to teach us something.  To move on from something difficult, look for the lesson.

 

Start by asking yourself: If this is the way things are supposed to be, what can I learn from it?

 

Think about how you may have contributed to the painful experience, or if there was anything you could have done to prevent it.  Often we don't realize the lesson because we'd rather avoid reliving the pain.  But once you allow yourself to reflect on the sadness, anger, guilt, or shame you've been hiding, those feelings will begin to subside.

 

Yes, someone hurt you.  Once you've forgiven them and let go, you can move forward and begin creating the life you desire."

Cry, Laugh, Heal Has A New Look!

 

 

 



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