Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Falling in love and being loved is just so oh-la-la isn't it?

May your heart expand today with the joy of being with your Valentine or having great memories of a special Valentine who may no longer be with you.

I'm sending this song out today to Valentines around the globe:

Hunk A Hunk A Birthday Fun

Today is a special day.  It's my birthday and it's also Elvis Presley's birthday.

 

Uh, Thank you. Uh, Thank you very much!

 

I'm not wearing a tight white jumpsuit today or gold wired sunglasses and I'm not wearing my hair slicked back.  And I'm not suggesting that I can sing or act but I do find it  a lot of fun that Elvis and I share a birthday because as I was growing up it would always be in the news that Elvis was having a birthday on my birthday and of course his was always a bigger celebration!

 

Elvis in 1972

 

Today I am so happy to be having a birthday because there was a time when I was much younger when I burned the candle at both ends (kind of like Elvis) and did some reckless things that today make me close my eyes and thank my guardian angel for watching over me.

 

So I am here today, pretty much all in one piece, counting my lucky stars and thanking the Lord above for all of the many, many blessings that I have in my precious life.  I have no idea what the future holds for me but I am enthusiastic about jumping into each new day and continuing to embrace my wondrous journey.

 

Me in Kindergarten

 

Thoughts on New Year's Eve

Time is one the most precious of commodities we have.

It should never be wasted and always treasured for its possibilities. 

 

On this New Year's Eve of 2013, I hold my fresh new calendar to hung in the kitchen tomorrow and flip through the untouched months and days and wonder what this years holds for me, my family and my friends.

 

Of course I hope for only good and fantastic things to happen to those I care about and that includes you my dear and wonderful readers!  Thank you so much for all of your support!!

As I always say, I hope I help you as much as you help me.

 

Alice G Patterson Photography
Courtesy House of Turquoise

I know some people love to make resolutions at the beginning of a new year, but I prefer to try and focus on each day as it comes to me and work within those twenty four hours on being positive, loving, healthy and helpful to others.  I don't always hit the mark but I try really hard!

 

Let's put those negative events behind us as we start a brand new year and let go of any feelings that may get in our way of doing something we want to passionately pursue.

 

Whether you are cozy at home, playing board games and watching the crowd at Times Square, or getting glammed up right now to go to a rockin' party tonight, I raise my glass to you and wish you a happy and safe New Year's Eve!

Holiday Party Questions

Hi there!! It's me again and I am back today with what I hope is timely information to help you deal with the topsy turvy happenings of the holiday season.

You will, and probably already have, received invitations to holiday parties and you may or may not be looking forward to going.  If you have recently lost a loved one I am very sorry that this personal tragedy is happening to you.  Socializing while in the throes of grief can be a bit of a high wire act.

 

I say it's a delicate balance because you don't want to isolate yourself because that is unhealthy for your broken heart and sometimes isolation makes you feel worse about what is happening to you.  However, you also don't want to be accepting every invitation that comes your way because answering all of those unfiltered questions and comments about your loss  is emotionally draining.

What to do?

A guy I knew in my widowed persons support group handled it this way:  he took his calendar and opened it to the months of November and December and wrote in capital letters the word "NO" across the dates.  He said he did this because he didn't want to lie to his friends about his social mood, so when someone would call him and invite him to some party or funtion he would say, "Let me look at my calendar.  Yup, just as I thought, my calendar says 'no' I won't be able to make it."

While that might not be the most gracious way of accepting or declining an invitation it worked for him and the group gave him credit for thinking ahead and coming up with something to help himself.

 

Every effort does not always hit the mark.  Boy do I know this!  I went to a very large Christmas party by myself a number of years ago.  I knew some of the people there and tried to join in the festivities but after about 15 minutes I felt overwhelmed and went to go to the host and hostess and thanked them and explained that I had to leave.  I was an emotional wreck!

To help you decide what kind of social events will or will not work for you as you recover from a loss, AARP suggests you ask yourself the following questions:

--Is this event a "must do," and do I like doing it?

--Is it observed only our of habit or for reasons that no longer fit?

--What are the consequences of skipping the event for now?

--Is there another event we would all enjoy more?

--What would we like to do differently?

 

There is no rule book for healing after a loss.  I just know that it can't be rushed and that we must respect the process others go through to find their own path to processing their pain and trying to do it during the holiday season can make that precarious journey a lot more unpredictable.

 

Hugs to all!!

 

Step Into Every Blessed Second of Life

I know today is Wednesday and that I have to go to work.

But other than that, I really don't know what the day has in store for me.

I'm sure I will talk to someone in my family and maybe also talk to one of my good friends, and I will work hard today to get some tasks accomplished in the office that need my attention.

Some of what happens today is up to me.

How will I react as I drive to work?

 

Will I keep a smart remark to myself or feel the need to blurt it out?

 

Will I smile when I don't really feel it?

 

Will I help another person in need of something from me?

 

Will I see something or read something that will inspire me?

 

Will I shake things up a bit and try something new?

 

I hope today is full of good things, even maybe great things for me -- and for you!!

I'm going to concentrate on staying in the moment today because every minute counts and should not be wished or pushed away because I am looking forward to something that I know will happen to me on another day, such as tomorrow or another day in the future.

 

Today is the day that counts.

 

Use it up.  Every single blessed second of it!!

Hey, hey! It's the month of May!

Love this silly and light poem! Celebrate May Day!

 

 

 

MAY

 

By Maurice Sendak
 

In May I think it truly best
 

to be a robin lightly dressed
 

concocting soup inside my nest
 

Mix it once, mix it twice,
 

mix that Chicken soup with rice.
 

 

 

January Baby

 

 

 

I am a January Baby and yesterday was my birthday.

I am happy to have a birthday (Elvis and I were born on the same day!) but I wish I had been born at a different time of the year.

 

By the time my birthday arrives, people are usually burnt out from the holidays.  Throughout the years, I have found that friends and family are either on a diet in January or they had spent too much money on Christmas so they are back on a budget in January.  Sometimes I have received gifts in Christmas wrapping paper and sometimes I have received one gift that is for Christmas and my birthday together.

 

I think it's an early January thing.

 

I like warm and/or hot weather much better than cold weather so I envy those people who have birthdays when it's warm.  They have it made in the shade so to speak!

 

But yesterday in Washington, DC it was a beautiful day.  The sun was shining and there was no snow on the ground...Yeah!!! And as I walked down the street from my office to meet a wonderful friend for a spontaneous birthday lunch (those are the best!), I thought about all of my blessings and the huge positives in my life.

 

I work hard to stay healthy and I will continue to do that this year but I also want to learn to meditate.  I think meditation would add a sense of calm to make mental being that I don't always have right now and would help me feel me more mentally fit.  There is a mind/body connection that I need to address because research -- and life experience -- shows that stress drains the body of energy, causing it to function less effectively.

 

I also have reached a stage in life where I no longer wait for things to happen.  I like to learn new things and to put myself out there a bit.  What's the worst that can happen?  Let's see...I could fail and look foolish (like that's never happened before!) or I could succeed (YES!).

 

I'm not talking about forcing a situation, rather the idea that if there is something you have always wanted to try then go ahead and try it.  You can't wait for certain circumstances to present themselves because then you might be waiting a long time.  I don't want to look back on something years later and wonder what would have happened if I done such and such a thing.

For me, the simple life, a life full of friends, family, good health and my dear readers is the life well lived.

Without those essentials I have no base or foundation of being.  Those essentials give me purpose and an endless supply of resources to celebrate the gift of life every year.

A Silly Video About Scotch

This post is kindof random but there are times when I just want to be silly and this is one of those times.

I saw this video on Daily Candy and it made me laugh.  I wanted to share it with you because it might make you laugh too. . . or at least smile!

Please meet Ricky Crawford (he's cute & has a great accent) in this short video.  Crawford is a former Glenlivet brand ambassador and in this video he gives a charming lesson on how to order and enjoy single malt Scotch.

And yes. . . he is wearing a kilt:

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Today is my Dad's 85th birthday and I wish him the happiest of birthdays!!  He is the best Dad in the whole world!!

I love him very much and respect what he has done in his life.  He loves the beach and fishing and hanging out near the water.  Today he is spending the day down on Chesapeake Bay with my brothers and I know they will have a blast because they'll eat and do everything whatever they want.

He is quite a wonderful character (you never know what the mail will bring) and a great Dad who once held down three jobs to provide for our Mom and six children.  Not many people can juggle three jobs, let alone find the energy to do three jobs.  Underneath all of that hard work is a kind and generous man with a sweet soul.

He is sentimental to a fault and tears up (almost every time) he hears the song "Danny Boy." Yes, Dad, we know you want to go back to Ireland.

I am very lucky to have him in my life and I know my siblings definitely feel the same way!

Happy Birthday Dad!!! XO

Changing Up Thanksgiving?

A Thanksgiving Cookout?

Most people don't want to try something new for Thanksgiving dinner.  They usually want the same food that has been served to them at every Thanksgiving dinner since they were a child because it's comforting and to them, it defines Thanksgiving dinner.  It's all about tradition.

And there's nothing wrong with tradition.  But life can also be about surprises and choices.  Maybe you have some Thanksgiving or other holiday ritual you'd like to eliminate or introduce.  That's why I like the following column....

Make Your Own Thanksgiving

Is it time to make your own Thanksgiving traditions?

by Michele Woodward

Published on November 24, 2010

This week I've been thinking about money.

And how so many people get all weird and wobbly when it comes to talking about it. Asking for it. Having it at all.

And it's interesting that they way our parents and grandparents handled money probably affects the way we handle money. I think about the woman whose immigrant parents struggled and sacrificed and lived in poverty. And now, even though she makes a million dollars a year, she hoards paper towels and soup... just in case.

Or the guy whose dad was a dreamer and a schemer. When they had money, they spent it - lavish dinners, fancy trips, stylish clothes. And when they had no money, they fantasized about how they'd spend it once it came back. Today, this guy has no savings and wonders what happens to his cash.

Last year I wrote When Gifts Become Junk - just because someone gives you a gift, like a legacy around money, you don't have to take it.

It's kind of like Thanksgiving.

I remember the first time I had to cook Thanksgiving on my own. I planned to carefully replicate the traditional family menu, but then ran into a little blip. Where my family had bread-and-oyster dressing, heavy on the sage, his family had cornbread dressing with plenty of celery and onion. My family was mashed potatoes, his was rice. Ours was brown gravy. His had hard-boiled eggs floating in a yellow gravy.

We each had our own idea of What Thanksgiving Is and What One Must Consume So It Is Truly Thanksgiving. Compromise felt like loss.

Oh, I come by the feeling of What It Should Be quite naturally - another family legacy. I remember my mother preparing Thanksgiving when I was a child. She looked at our loaded table and would always say, "You know, my grandmother would have chicken and dumplings, ham, turkey, fried chicken, and four different kinds of pie...this just doesn't seem like Thanksgiving to me." The fact that we had ham and turkey and three pies - never lived up to what Thanksgiving Should Be.

What a struggle. It's the tension between fantasy and reality, really. It's the tightrope of being present right here and now, and living in a storied and maybe flawed recollection of a "better time." It's an oppressive and unrealistic burden because the past you're trying to match was probably not as wonderful as you recall. It probably wasn't any more happy than you can make today.

So to be firmly here in the present, and living a happy life, there comes a point when you simply choose to make your own Thanksgiving.

Take a look at the heritage of your forebears and decide what you want to consciously take forward with you in your own life. It is absolutely OK - hey, it's more than OK, it's imperative - to decide whether you want to continue with the tiny marshmallows on the top of the super sweet potatoes, or go a bit healthier and replace that traditional dish with, oh, steamed broccoli.

You create your own traditions, not because what your parents and grandparents did was wrong. It may have been really right. For them. At that time. But now, it's your life. You can create your own way of being in the world, darling, because you are you - not them.

Look at the legacies gifted to you by your parents and grandparents - around money, around relationships, around body image, around holidays - and decide: "Is this what I want for myself? Does this make me happy, or give me stress?"

If a tradition works for you, and makes you very, very happy - then keep it. If a tradition feels like a heavy obligation, and makes you very, very stressed - then it's time to lovingly let that relic go.

Feel free to make your own menu, and it will be your own Thanksgiving. Every single celebratory day.

A Wedding Shower

Two gleaming, freshly polished silver tea sets sit in my house right now in anticipation of my niece's bridal shower this Sunday.  Originally, the sets belonged to my grandmothers and each set is as different as the woman who owned them.  They now belong to my Mom and she generously agreed to let me borrow them for this special family event. 

I loved both of my grandmothers, Nana and Gammy, and it's a tender feeling to see the tea sets resting in their new and temporary locations.  I knew my Mom's mother very well and have lots of wonderful, warm memories of her but I didn't get a chance to know my Dad's mother the same way since she died when I was very young.  I do have some special memories of her and her home but mostly I know her through family stories.  I often think about the way they lead their lives and know that they both were unusual women.

Besides the tea sets, I'm also using a crystal punch bowl that also belonged to my Dad's mother.  My sister brought it to my house and our Dad joked about handling such a treasured family heirloom by saying, "If you break it (the crystal bowl), you're out of the will!"  We both laughed because we knew that would never happen!

I can picture each of my grandmothers using their tea sets and I know they would love that the sets are part of the upcoming bridal shower.  For sure, they will be with us and we'll tell lots of stories about them during the party.  As my niece begins a new chapter in her life, another generation will come to know their family history while also adding to it.

It's been a lot of work but now it's time to have fun and celebrate!!