Weekend Antics

Beautiful Deserted Rehoboth Beach

Hey everyone!  Hope your weekend was full of unlimited amounts good times or at least full of what one of my guy friends calls antics! Mine certainly was!! 

 

Three of my best friends treated me to a weekend at Rehoboth Beach in Delaware and it was a blast; and I don't mean a blast of wintery cold but a blast of the healing powers of true friendship!!  Snow and ice and chilly winds surrounded us in our 23 degree climate -- because after all it is January on the East Coast -- but we didn't care because it was a weekend of great conversation, delicious food (Thank God Grotto was open!), unique shopping destinations and no schedules.

 

When in Rehoboth, Dewey or Bethany Beach,
You Have To Go To Grotto For The Pizza

No schedules.  Which in real life means we didn't have anyone telling us we had to be anywhere at any particular time.  We could go where we wanted, when we wanted, for how ever long we wanted to be there and that is my idea of freedom.

 

I have known and treasured these three best friends for decades and they are the salt of the earth.  I am lucky to know them and have them in my life and being with them can cure anything that life hands out!  We all love The Beach no matter what time of year it is and love to eat all kinds of seafood and just hang out, shoot the s$&t and enjoy each other's company.

 

As the saying goes, friendship isn't a big thing -- it's actually more like a million little things that are said and done and shared while living our lives and it all comes together in some kind of spontaneous combustion and makes time with those special people what life is all about.  The weekend was all about the chi or the flow of friendships and good times and it was a simple and as easy as that.

 

As I drove over the Bay Bridge to Rehoboth and tried to catch quick glimpses of the icy Chesapeake Bay, I said out loud to myself in the car:  "That's it stress.  I am leaving you far, far behind.  I am moving in to a stress free zone this weekend and you are not invited."

 

Life can change you, your personality, your expectations, your beliefs and your desires but hopefully you are not changing so drastically that you lose yourself and your friends don't recognize you.  They may be changing too in the face of life's experiences and increased responsibilities but at the end of the day you are all in it together and the reservoirs of strength that comes from good solid friendships and knowing that your friends have your back is what moves us forward and comforts our souls. 

Personal Growth

Take some time for quiet thought today.

 

Your inner person deserves it!

When you get free from certain fixed

 

concepts of the way the world is, you find

 

it is far more subtle, and far more miraculous

 

than you thought it was.

 

                           ~ Alan Watts

The Magic of A Party

The Washington, DC weather on Saturday may have been rainy, foggy and dreary but it had  no affect on the atmosphere inside one cozy house in Northwest DC where it was bright, warm and full of happiness.

 

Was this house in some kind of weather bubble?

 

Yes it was because it was the site of a birthday party that my super duper spectacular friends gave for me and I can say without hesitation that it was the best birthday party ever!!  Talk about healing!  Wow!  I was feeling the love and it was totally through the stratosphere for me in terms of people, food and fun!!!

 

Me and My Fantastic Son!

Truly great friends are a treasure to have and to hold and I keep my friends near and dear to my resilient heart.  These are the incredible people who were here for me after my husband died, these are the people who have helped me keep my heart open to the future and these are the people who came together and let their creativity flow to help me celebrate my magical birthday.

 

My friends are my soul mates and they make most things in life bearable because great friends always find the time to either hold your hand, listen to your story or go out and boogie on the dance floor with you!

 

The theme?  What else?  THE BEACH!!!

 

Mini beach balls, candles, sand, shells and best of all beach food.  As in lobster rolls, spiced shrimp, crab cakes, potato salad and tomatoes and mozzarella and chopped fresh basil.  And if that wasn't enough deliciousness, dessert was a Key Lime pie and a chocolate cake with many, many candles!!!!!!!! Totally yum, yes?

 

Home Made Lobster Rolls





And just when we thought we could not eat one more forkful, it was time to crank up the tunes and dance the night away! Donna Summer you would have been proud of us!!

 

Twerking, congo lines, and a version of something called The Throwdown, were just some of the dance moves proudly performed and thoroughly enjoyed!!

 

After all these years together, we've still got it going on and I thank you my dear friends from the bottom of my heart!! 

 

I am still flying from the emotional high.  And that's the true magic of a party!



Home Made Chocolate Cake

Giving Thanks!!

Today is a day when I pause to give thanks for all of the incredible gifts God has sent my way and also it's a day when it's okay to eat too much.

 

I am lucky to have wonderful friends and family and to be able to visit some of them today.  I know that during the hustle and bustle of this holiday that I will scan the room and think about the blessings in my life.  I never take what I have for granted for I know how quickly a person's life can change.

I also am thankful for my readers.  It means a lot to me that you stop here and read my posts and I hope that in some small way I am able to help you for your support truly helps me.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

 

Star Night Star Bright

I am one of those old school people who still have a daily newspapers delivered to my house.  During the work week when I go outside to get the newspaper, it is dark and the moon and the stars are still shining in the sky.

 

It's a great time to collect my thoughts for the day.

 

This morning I took a moment to stand still on the sidewalk, take a deep breath, and say a prayer of gratitude for a new day and whatever it might bring.  As I gazed at the quiet beauty of the moon hanging in the early morning sky and the stars twinkling about it, I was reminded of the saying and unfortunately I don't know who wrote it:

I saw a star slide down the sky,

blind the north as it went by,

too burning and too quick to hold,

too lovely to be bought or sold,

good only to make wishes on

and then forever to be gone.

Safe travels today!!

Turn Around Solitary Man

I felt very lucky and very blessed to be sitting in my worn and comfortable beach chair early yesterday morning, breathing in the soft air of Bethany Beach and watching the tide come in as the waves pounded the sand.

 

For me, sun, sand and ocean are the essential elements for getting rid of worrisome and stressful thoughts and filling my inner reserves with hope and gratitude.  It's a winning combination every time I need it.  The beach has never let me down.  Ever.

 

 

 

I was in Bethany Beach this past weekend to help a very good friend sell her beautiful handmade jewelry at an arts festival held annually on the town's boardwalk.   Even though it was after Labor Day, the beach was packed and booming as though it were summer.

 

But early Sunday morning, only a few people were scattered about the beach.

 

We beach people are a different breed.  At a moment's notice, I could go to the beach any time of the year and at any time of the day just to hear the cycle of the ocean's tides and feel the sand between my toes.

 

I watched yesterday roll out as the young families came first to set up their area for the day, carrying chairs, umbrellas, beach toys and coolers.  A horseshoe crab had washed up on the beach, stranded on it back, and some of the parents and children went down to investigate how to push it back to the surf.  Next a few older couples came walking by, some holding hands, some just enjoying a quiet conversation.

 

Then a solitary man came to my part of the beach wearing an orange t-shirt and black shorts.  He looked to be in his twenties and was wearing large earphones over his ears and in each hand he held metal poles with circles on the end that he waved back and forth over the sand.  I've seen these metal detectors before but I never seen someone waving two at the same time and never in the morning.  Usually the metal detector people have only one detector each and walk the beach in the evenings hoping that during the day someone lost a ring or a lot of coins.

 

As I watched Solitary Man, with his head down looking at the sand in search for buried treasure, searching for something expensive lost by another person, I wanted to suggest that he take his headphones off and enjoy the beauty of what surrounded him.

 

I wanted to tell him that instead of looking down at the sand, waving his dueling metal detectors, he could turn around and look out at the glorious Atlantic Ocean and watch the morning sun dance on the rolling waves and listen as the cold salt water swished the sand around his feet.

 

I wanted to say that the time spent looking for stuff in the sand that he thinks is going to make him happy, could instead be spent absorbing the wonders of Mother Nature, the same wonders that draw people to the beach to rejuvenate and refresh their spirits and souls.  After all, it is a known scientific fact that the sound of ocean waves actually alters the wave patterns in the human brain, soothing us into a deeply calm and relaxed state.

 

Happiness is right here Solitary Man, right here at the beach. 

 

And you don't need a metal detector to find it.

 

 

 

St. Francis & His BFF Clare

With the recent election of Pope Francis I to head the Catholic Church, people are talking about faith and religion with a renewed enthusiasm.

 

I think people are filled with hope and that's always a good thing.

Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo! and the mainstream news outlets have been full of stories and comments about what changes, if any, this new pope may bring about.  I was at friend's house for dinner the other day and the subject of the Pope spontaneously came up.  Even my dentist started talking about it yesterday morning and I don't think we've ever discussed the subject of God.

 

You would have thought we all had some inside sources at the Vatican the way people are talking about the Catholic Church and the symbolism of Pope Francis' public comments.  It's ironic that everyone seems to be an instant expert on religion, a subject people usually go out of their way to avoid discussing.

I love the this dynamic dialogue about God and faith and the Church.  I have my own problems with the hierarchy and bureaucratic parts of the Church but the core teachings and values are the tenants of my faith.  To me, faith is a belief in a God that is merciful and good and one who provides comfort and healing. 

At the same time, women and their role in the Catholic Church is an issue that always gets me going and that's why this following story that was published in The Washington Post caught my eye.  We all know about St. Francis of Assisi and his pursuit of a simple and humble life but did we know about his BFF, Clare?  Maybe you did, but I had no clue.

This story surprised me for I didn't know about the friendship of Francis and Clare and the ministry they advanced together.  As Maureen O'Connell writes, "Her (Clare's) status as his equal made it possible for the two of them, together, to mount a spiritual reform of the church."

For every Francis, a Clare. . . Indeed!

St. Clare of Assisi & St. Francis of Assisi

For Every Francis, a Clare

By Maureen O’Connell, Published The Washington Post: March 15

Although historically shut out of the frescoed halls of power in Vatican City and more mundane but just as exclusive rectories and chancelleries around the world, Catholic women might find a place for leadership under the new papacy after all. As the talking heads have been saying since Jorge Mario Bergoglio appeared from behind that red curtain, it’s all in the name: Clare.
 

If Pope Francis seeks to embrace his namesake’s legacy of reforming the church by embodying the loving ministry of Christ, then he would do well also to embrace dimensions of the loving partnership between the 15th century Francis of Assisi and fellow Umbrian, Clare, founder of the Poor Clares, a semi-cloistered group of sisters who today number more than 20,000 in 70 countries. Like most heroic dynamic duos, these two were revolutionary. They confounded social expectations, rejected excessive wealth and power, and inspired upright living. In some ways, their partnership should be nothing new for followers of Christ, since women were pivotal both to Jesus’ ministry and the early Jesus movement. But since such partnerships remain a rarity, Francis and Clare might remind the new pope: if you want reform, work with tenacious women.
 

It seems Francis of Assisi knew that when Clare first encountered him during a Lenten reflection he gave at the church of San Giorgio exactly 800 years ago. Like him, Clare viewed her family’s social privilege as an obstacle to her spiritual yearnings and by Palm Sunday the devout 18-year-old had jettisoned the trappings of her noble life and sought out Francis for a humble one of seclusion and prayer. Francis made her escape from her former life possible and further advanced her countercultural lifestyle choice by writing the original rule or founding documents for the Poor Clares.
 

But Pope Francis would profit from the memory that Clare’s was the flame; his namesake simply fanned it. Against the wishes of the Italian hierarchy, Clare insisted that her nuns mirror Francis’ friars in everything including their refusal to own property. There would be no two-tiered holiness codes for her—if the men were capable of such a pious commitment, so too were the women. The backing of Francis no doubt bolstered her in her resolve to insist on this equality when face to face with Pope Gregory IX, who formally acknowledged her rule in 1219.

Moreover, Francis and Clare enjoyed an iconic friendship, one rooted in shared passions and pieties, struggles and hopes. These two needed each other in order to answer the ceaseless challenges of their respective vocational calls and to lead their communities wisely. Theirs was an intimacy of equals, liberated from narrow Catholic constructs of gender and religious vocation and open to the gifts the Holy Spirit offers leaders who seek mutuality and reciprocity: the freedom to tell and hear hard truths, the freedom to ask and offer forgiveness, the freedom to fail and start again.
 

Finally, Francis and Clare are radical; they return us to our roots by reminding us of the hallmarks of Jesus’ own ministry—simple living, a care for the poor, and a pivotal place for women at the heart of it all. Whether as financiers of Jesus and his disciples, as witnesses to both his death and Resurrection, or as deacons in the early Christian community, women were among Jesus’ most trusted companions and visible leaders. Like Clare, they did not wait quietly on the periphery and like Francis, Christ welcomed them to the center.

To be sure, patriarchy remains a cultural inheritance from which even Francis of Assisi had difficulty divesting. Paternalism often confined the Poor Clares to quiet contemplative work in the shadows of their historical male superior, a reality all too familiar to many religious and lay women toiling behind the scenes of Catholic ministry today. And centuries of theological developments and women’s movements later, patriarchy still seems as germane to the hierarchical church as white smoke to the announcement of a new pope. Men in cassocks: can’t rule with them, have to live ruled by them.
 

But still these names, Francis and Clare, suggest real possibilities for Catholic women. Like Christ whom he strove to emulate, Francis of Assisi used his power to empower a woman to become an unprecedented minister to the people of God. Her status as his equal made it possible for the two of them, together, to mount a spiritual reform of the church. That reform was significant enough to warrant the public acknowledgment of Jorge Mario Bergoglio in his transition to leader of the world’s 1.2 billion Catholics. May Pope Francis not overlook the prophetic dimension of Clare in his imitation of his namesake’s legacy.

Maureen O’Connell is Associate Professor of Theology at Fordham University, the Jesuit University of New York, and the author of Compassion: Loving Our Neighbor in an Age of Globalization (Orbis Books, 2009) and If These Walls Could Talk: Community Muralism and the Beauty of Justice (The Liturgical Press, 2012)

© The Washington Post Company

 

It's Your Road

Thought For The Day. . .

I know this picture is a bit on the grainy side, but I really liked the sentiment of the saying:

"It's your road, and yours alone. 

 

 Others may walk it with you, But no one can walk it for you."

 

It would be nice if someone could take our place and walk on our road for awhile; perhaps making it less painful. 

Wouldn't that be nice?

But we don't know where our road is going to take us, do we?  I believe that my road has been painful but it also has been a road full of love, laughter and many other blessings.

I'm excited to see what may be down the road for me this year!!

I'd love to hear from you about your road and what it had brought you and what you hope it brings you this year!!

A Year of Blessings

How Have You Been Blessed?

I know we are in the middle of January, but I just saw this idea on a website called The Honest Company (www.honest.com) and I wanted to share it right away.  Hopefully, this idea is new for you too!

 

Here's the basic idea:  At the beginning of a new year, start writing down blessings that happen to you throughout the year and put them in a container.  On New Year's Eve or Day 2014, you can empty out the jar and read all about the year of blessings that you had!

 

The Honest Company's blog suggested writing down wishes or memories made throughout the year but I thought writing down blessings whenever you think of them instead of memories and wishes would be a positive way and perhaps a reinforcing way to look for the good things that happen to you as you heal. 

 

Rebuilding your life and trying to find a new way to live your life after the loss of a loved one is a slow process that has many stops and starts.  I have found that it sometimes is a subtle process too.  Everyone's journey is unique.  Small changes can be happening to you and you may not be aware of it.

 

What kinds of things am I talking about?  For me, my sleep pattern started changing as I began to gather strength after my husband's death.  Instead of tossing and turning or hardly sleeping at all, slowly I began to be able to fall asleep and stay asleep for longer periods of time.

 

What a blessing!

 

Blessings happen to us every day and we may take them for granted.  The sun is shining, someone smiled at you, your jeans fit.  A blessing can be whatever you think is a positive thing that has happened to you!  I try to tell myself that no matter how bad the day was, there had to be something good in it.  You know what those days are like.  Those days when everything seems to go wrong or it doesn't happen the way you planned?

 

I still try to find a positive in all that frustrating stuff.  Sometimes it's just a blessing that the day is over and you can wake up fresh and try again the next day.  I know life can be painful but if I can't change the circumstances then I have to try and learn to roll with it and find some good somewhere. 

 

Have fun with this blessings idea.  It doesn't have to be an every day thing.  You can write down whatever you want whenever you want to write it down.  But at the end of the year it might surprise you to look back on the blessings that took place in your life in 2013.

 

Last night I found a container for my blessings and I wrote down two: a wonderful son and good health.

 

What are your blessings?

 

January Baby

 

 

 

I am a January Baby and yesterday was my birthday.

I am happy to have a birthday (Elvis and I were born on the same day!) but I wish I had been born at a different time of the year.

 

By the time my birthday arrives, people are usually burnt out from the holidays.  Throughout the years, I have found that friends and family are either on a diet in January or they had spent too much money on Christmas so they are back on a budget in January.  Sometimes I have received gifts in Christmas wrapping paper and sometimes I have received one gift that is for Christmas and my birthday together.

 

I think it's an early January thing.

 

I like warm and/or hot weather much better than cold weather so I envy those people who have birthdays when it's warm.  They have it made in the shade so to speak!

 

But yesterday in Washington, DC it was a beautiful day.  The sun was shining and there was no snow on the ground...Yeah!!! And as I walked down the street from my office to meet a wonderful friend for a spontaneous birthday lunch (those are the best!), I thought about all of my blessings and the huge positives in my life.

 

I work hard to stay healthy and I will continue to do that this year but I also want to learn to meditate.  I think meditation would add a sense of calm to make mental being that I don't always have right now and would help me feel me more mentally fit.  There is a mind/body connection that I need to address because research -- and life experience -- shows that stress drains the body of energy, causing it to function less effectively.

 

I also have reached a stage in life where I no longer wait for things to happen.  I like to learn new things and to put myself out there a bit.  What's the worst that can happen?  Let's see...I could fail and look foolish (like that's never happened before!) or I could succeed (YES!).

 

I'm not talking about forcing a situation, rather the idea that if there is something you have always wanted to try then go ahead and try it.  You can't wait for certain circumstances to present themselves because then you might be waiting a long time.  I don't want to look back on something years later and wonder what would have happened if I done such and such a thing.

For me, the simple life, a life full of friends, family, good health and my dear readers is the life well lived.

Without those essentials I have no base or foundation of being.  Those essentials give me purpose and an endless supply of resources to celebrate the gift of life every year.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today is a day Americans set aside to gather with family, friends or both, bow our heads and give thanks for the blessings God has given us.

 

It is wonderful to have the day off from work and I am busy this morning making my part of the Thanksgiving dinner: homemade mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce.  Because these two dishes are so important to the classic Thanksgiving dinner, I take a lot of care in preparing them and enjoy watching people gobble them up.

 

I started making homemade cranberry sauce years ago after I was served this particular cranberry sauce (recipe below) at someone else's house.  It's delicious and easy to make and gets better the longer it sits.  I loved it right away because I was brought up on canned cranberry sauce.  We were a family of eight and we usually had at least three or four other relatives join us for Thanskgiving dinner so we went for what was quick and easy.  The cranberry sauce I knew jiggled on our plates.

 

We would open the cans of cranberry sauce and then it would come out in the same round shape like the can including the indentations on the side.  Next we would cut it the cranberry jelly into slices and then take a slice and lay it on a plate and push a cookie cutter in the middle of it to make a holiday shape such as a turkey or a star.

Those were the days!

My son and I will be with part of my family today and I am very blessed with a loving family, great friends, good health and a solid job.  I am also blessed to have the best readers who follow my blog and always keep me moving forward towards a healing place.

Who could ask for more?  Well, I could ask for more, but I won't. 

May your Thanksgiving Day be full of family, friends, food and fortune!  Happy Thanksgiving!


Cranberry Orange Sauce

1 12 oz bag of fresh cranberries
1 orange
Sugar to taste

Wash the cranberries, then put them into the food processor until they are chopped up to the size you like.  Put the chopped cranberries into a bowl.  Next cut the orange into relatively small pieces.  Remove the seeds.  Then put the oranges, rind and all, into the food processor until it is the consistency you like.  Pour that into the cranberries and mix together.  Next I usually add a half cup of sugar and then mix everything together.  Let it sit for at least 15 minutes before serving.

A Cartful of Gratitude

Photo Courtesy of Williams Sonoma

Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you and to give thanks continuously.  And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include
all things in your gratitude.

                                                    ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Just like most Americans, I went to the grocery store this weekend to buy food to prepare for Thanksgiving dinner.

 

The store was crowded and the shelves were stocked with all of the things that I buy at this particular time of year: pumpkin, cream cheese, spices, nuts and cranberries.  Depending on the aisle I was in, I could tell people were carefully searching for certain ingredients for recipes traditionally served in their family every year.

 

For some people, it is just not Thanksgiving unless that particular dish is served.

 

In my family, it is the stuffing.  My siblings and I only want the stuffing that we had when we were growing up.  My sister-in-law is wonderful and she is very accomodating because she serves our family's stuffing along with a cornbread stuffing and also an oyster stuffing.  People in my family are pretty direct about what they want while walking through the buffet line and always ask when looking at the various stuffings (just to make sure): "Um, which one of these is our stuffing?"

 

It cracks me up because to us, and I know this is true for other families, Thanksgiving is all about the same food you have always eaten on Thanksgiving.  It is not a day to try out new food.

 

But if Thanksgiving is about Tradition, it is also about Gratitude.

 

As I shopped in the grocery store, I thought about how lucky I was to load my cart up with what I needed to serve for Thanksgiving and that when I pushed my cart to the check-out line, I knew that I would be able to pay for it.

 

Suppose I couldn't?  Suppose I couldn't afford what I needed and could only buy the minimum amount of food?  Suppose I couldn't afford any food and my Thanksgiving was at a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter?

 

Unfortunately, we fall into a common and bad habit of thinking about what we don't have, what is going wrong in our life or what is in our way to making progress.  Instead of thinking about what we don't have, I suggest we flip our thinking and focus on the positives in our lives and be thankful for the wonderful gifts that surround us.

 

Life cannot be truly rich without gratitude.

 

It may sound like a small thing but as I placed my items on the conveyer belt at the grocery store, I was truly grateful that I could buy food to feed myself and my loved ones and that I had a car and a home for shelter.  I take these things for granted when I never should.

 

Being thankful is counting your blessings and this week when I bow my head to give thanks to God for the food and the people in my life, I will have much to be thankful for.

Fab Friday

It's Fabulous Friday!!  It's hard to believe that this is the last weekend in March!

I'm ready for the weekend and I hope you are too!!

Go for it!!