You Can't Sit Back & Wait

Did you ever complain about something you thought was going to be great but then it turned out to be a disappointing experience?

If you happened to complain to my mother about such a thing, then she probably would tell you that you have no one to blame but yourself because you get out of something what you put into it.

Which is the another way of saying that you can't sit on your butt and wait for stuff to come to you; you need to make the effort and go out there and take a chance and make some stuff happen.

Maybe it won't work the first time or the second time.  But you have to keep trying!

Check out the rainbow!

Happiness is not something that's ready made.

 

It comes from your own actions

 

                     ~ Dalai Lama

A Year of Blessings

How Have You Been Blessed?

I know we are in the middle of January, but I just saw this idea on a website called The Honest Company (www.honest.com) and I wanted to share it right away.  Hopefully, this idea is new for you too!

 

Here's the basic idea:  At the beginning of a new year, start writing down blessings that happen to you throughout the year and put them in a container.  On New Year's Eve or Day 2014, you can empty out the jar and read all about the year of blessings that you had!

 

The Honest Company's blog suggested writing down wishes or memories made throughout the year but I thought writing down blessings whenever you think of them instead of memories and wishes would be a positive way and perhaps a reinforcing way to look for the good things that happen to you as you heal. 

 

Rebuilding your life and trying to find a new way to live your life after the loss of a loved one is a slow process that has many stops and starts.  I have found that it sometimes is a subtle process too.  Everyone's journey is unique.  Small changes can be happening to you and you may not be aware of it.

 

What kinds of things am I talking about?  For me, my sleep pattern started changing as I began to gather strength after my husband's death.  Instead of tossing and turning or hardly sleeping at all, slowly I began to be able to fall asleep and stay asleep for longer periods of time.

 

What a blessing!

 

Blessings happen to us every day and we may take them for granted.  The sun is shining, someone smiled at you, your jeans fit.  A blessing can be whatever you think is a positive thing that has happened to you!  I try to tell myself that no matter how bad the day was, there had to be something good in it.  You know what those days are like.  Those days when everything seems to go wrong or it doesn't happen the way you planned?

 

I still try to find a positive in all that frustrating stuff.  Sometimes it's just a blessing that the day is over and you can wake up fresh and try again the next day.  I know life can be painful but if I can't change the circumstances then I have to try and learn to roll with it and find some good somewhere. 

 

Have fun with this blessings idea.  It doesn't have to be an every day thing.  You can write down whatever you want whenever you want to write it down.  But at the end of the year it might surprise you to look back on the blessings that took place in your life in 2013.

 

Last night I found a container for my blessings and I wrote down two: a wonderful son and good health.

 

What are your blessings?

 

Good Karma

Photo by Eileen Milner

I am not a Buddhist but I do believe in karma.  Building up good karma in the great big 'ole universe of spirituality reminds me of what Catholics think of as corporal and spiritual works of mercy.  Karma is the universal law of cause and effect.  Most people try to do good deeds because it makes them feel they have helped someone else and also because it's the right thing to do.  When it comes to doing bad things, we all try our best to minimize the bad karma we put out there.  It sounds so simple yet it's not.  I think about my reactions to those who annoy me and to those who fray my patience.  No bad karma out there, riggghhhttt? (I'm breathing and thinking peaceful thoughts).

Buddhists believe that karma is the result of our own past actions and our own present doings.  We ourselves are responsible for our own happiness and misery.  We create our own Heaven.  We create our own Hell.  We are the architects of our own fate.  That's a lot of responsibility, right?

His Holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama, says there are 20 things that you can do to get good karma and build a happier and more fulfilling life.  Here you go:

1.  Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2.  When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

3.  Follow the three R's: Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions.

4.  Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5.  Learn the rules so you know how to break them.

6.  Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.

7.  When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8.  Spend some time alone every day.

9.  Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good honorable life.  Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation.  Don't bring up the past.

14. Share your  knowledge.  It is a way to achieve immortality.

15.  Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

17.  Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18.  Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19.  If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.

20.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.