Soul To Soul

 

You do not have a soul.

 

You are a soul.

 

            ~Indie.Arie

A Buddhist Rice Bowl

It's Something To Think About. . . .

"In Zen Buddhism, there's a concept called 'zen mind,' or beginner's mind.'  They say that the mind should be like an empty rice bowl.

If it's already full, then the universe can't fill it.

If it's empty, it has room to receive.

This means that when we think we have things figured out, we're not teachable.  Genuine insight can't dawn on a mind that's not open to receive it.

Surrender is a process of emptying the mind."

                                  ~ By Marianne Williamson, "A Return To Love,

Reflections on the Principles of A Course In Miracles

 

Photo Courtesy of Josh Bulriss



A Pope of Hope

From Southern Maryland to Northern Virginia, everywhere I went this past weekend people were talking about Pope Francis and his  recent groundbreaking remarks about the state of the Catholic Church.

 

Pope Francis, you are a healing breath of fresh air and you arrived on the global scene just when we needed to listen your joyous and merciful outlook on life!!

It was amazing to me that people spontaneously brought it up in conversation no matter what else was previously being talked about.  I find religion is sometimes discussed at social events but not very often.  And in Washington, DC, rarely do I ever hear Washington Redskins and Pope Francis brought up in almost consecutive sentences but this weekend it happened and I think this it's due to the hopeful and honest nature of what Pope Francis said in an interview with an Italian Jesuit magazine that was published last week in Jesuits magazines around the world. 

At a party I attended yesterday, Catholics and non-Catholics enthusiastically discussed the subject of Pope Francis, saying how much they liked him, how exciting he was and how they wished they had some one like him in their particular faiths.

 

For most people, it was Pope Francis' comment about sinning that kicked the door open and got their attention.  In the interview Pope Francis was asked "Who is Jorge Mario Bergoglio?"  In a thoughtful manner Pope Francis replies: "I do not know what might be the most fitting description. . . I am a sinner.  This is the most accurate definition.  It is not a figure of speech, a literary genre.  I am a sinner."

 

Really and truly?

 

Okay Pope Francis that immediately bonds me to you because I am a sinner too.  But people are blown away because this is the first time most people have ever heard a Pope publicly tell others that he sins also.  Usually there is the distinct feeling that we are the sinners but the Pope does not commit sin.  This time, it is as though Pope Francis opens his arms and says to us, "I am just like you.  We are all the same in our humanity."

 

 

America Magazine Issue with Pope Francis Interview

You can read the full interview with Pope Francis on the website for America Magazine (www.americamagazine.org), a national Catholic weekly magazine published by Jesuits in the United States.

 

Read for yourself the thoughtful and insightful way that Pope Francis discusses a wide range of subjects that touches all of our lives and issues that we all wrestle with.

 

For me, my Catholic faith is essential and goes to the core of my being but in the past decade or two I have turned a deaf ear to many things being said by the Catholic hierarchy.  That said, here are two other comments Pope Francis made in his interview that were particularly open and refreshing and signal to me a much needed change in the thinking of the Church:

 

--"I see clearly that the thing the church needs most today is the ability to heal wounds and to warm the hearts of the faithful; it needs nearness, proximity.  I see the church as a field hospital after battle.  It is useless to ask a seriously injured person if he has high cholesterol and about the level of his blood sugars!  You have to heal the wounds.  Then we can talk about everything else.  Heal the wounds, heal the wounds. . . And you have to start from the from the ground up."

 

--"The woman is essential for the church.  Mary, a woman, is more important than the bishops. I say this because we must not confuse the function with the dignity.  We must therefore investigate further the role of women in the church.  We must work harder to develop a profound theology of the woman."

 

A New Place To Live

Good Morning Fantastic Readers!

This past weekend was interesting and productive and I hope yours was too!  The weekends just fly by wayyyyy too quickly don't they? 

 

Part of my weekend was spent visiting a family member.  In the course of my visit, I could tell we were going to fall into our usual conversational trap of going over the same ground that we have covered many times before.  You know what I mean, right?  The person brings up a certain subject and you know what they're going to say and you try to change their mind or at least get your point across to them.

It's pretty similar to a tire that is stuck in the mud and just spins round and round.  I didn't plan on it, but over the weekend I decided to try a different way of talking to this person because we weren't getting anywhere with the old way.

 

I know this person has been under a lot of stress and is feeling confused.  I felt like the best thing to do was to sit and listen and focus on what was being said without any reaction from me.  I decided to take myself out of the conversational equation because my point of view didn't really serve any purpose.

Instead, I wanted to try and create a healing zone; a place of safety where this person's thoughts and feelings could be shared without the possibility of an argument.

 

 

 

It wasn't a particularly honest conversation but it did allow this person to talk about their feelings and I think that was a healthy and healing thing.

 

For me, healing is finding a new place to live.

 

Not a physical place such as a new house or an apartment but a new place to mentally live.

Healing is finding the place within myself where I try to find quiet and sometimes vulnerability.  A place where I level with myself and tell myself that I can do better.  To be honest with myself and stop making excuses about my reactions to things that annoy or frustrate me.  I can control the volume of my voice and I can control the words that come out of my mouth when I'm talking to someone.

 

Healing is saying to myself that it's time to change.  When I find that my usual way of doing something or my usual reaction to something isn't working then it's time to go somewhere new and find a better way to act.

 

New ways of talking about our emotions can sometimes be scary, but new can also be refreshing because you don't have to lug your old emotional baggage with you; you can lock it up and leave it behind.

 

I'd love to know how you deal with breaking old habits and how you discover news ways of communicating.  Let me know if you have some tips that can break the behavioral logjam and let the conversations flow towards a healing place.

 

You can comment below or you can also comment on my Facebook page!

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!

 

Within The Morning Light

I am an early riser.  I find the morning to be peaceful and so quiet.  I use my morning time to collect my thoughts about what I think is going to happen during that particular day and pray for other things that I hope will happen.

 

So the morning is when a lot happens for me.  With my trusty cups of hot tea, I appreciate the solitude of the wee early hours of the day.  Quiet allows me to think and to breathe and pull myself together.

 

I am always writing down blog ideas and collecting different points of view on the subjects of resilience, rebuilding a new life and grief but the morning is usually when I actually post my thoughts.  I try to write whenever I get the chance so I don't lose my ideas, but that is sometimes difficult because I also have a full time job that I work during the day.

 

You may not be a morning person but perhaps you find quiet for yourself at other times of the day.  Try to spend some quiet time with your thoughts.

 

Short periods of time spent in solitude can be a good thing.

Solitude

By Garnett Ann Schultz

 

The sighing wind so slowly passed

Across the rolling seas,

It climbed the hill and came to rest

Among the stately trees,

Each nodding flower nestled there

Within the morning light,

Protected by the still of dawn

As darkness crept from sight.

 

The golden sun came stealing through

And lingered on the breeze,

As nature loaned an added charm,

A gentle little tease,

The dew that sparkled on the grass

The quiet, oh, so dear,

Within the tender arms of Spring

A peacefulness and cheer.

 

No sound within the forest glade

But that of singing birds,

A music sweet upon the air-

No human voice is heard,

Just Mother Nature lingers there

A carefree, happy mood,

The world in quietness supreme

God's wondrous solitude.

A Friend's Good Bye Letter

Last week a childhood friend of my father's died.  They had known each other since they were in grade school and met each other while playing on the black top when they were about seven or eight years old.  They both went on to attend the same high school, playing basketball, and later both went into the insurance business working for different companies.

 

 

Over the years, they stayed in touch with each other as best they could.  They both worked very hard while trying to raise large Irish Catholic families.  My father and mother had six children and my Dad's friend and his wife had eight children.  Our families didn't really mix, not because we didn't want to, but more because the ages of the children were different we didn't live close to their neighborhood and there basically was just too much stuff going on to try and coordinate anything.

 

When you have known someone for as long as my Dad and his friend knew each other it is hard to let go.  My Dad knew that his friend was not well but didn't know how sick he was until he received the news of his friend's death.  One way to keep the person connected to you is write a letter to the person now deceased.  I don't think this is morbid.  In fact, I think it's very healthy.

 

The person who died is someone who had an important place in your life.  The person is physically gone but the friendship is still there.  Sharing memories -- whether it's through writing a letter or talking to others about this person -- is a healthy way to process your feelings of grief and to establish  to yourself that the friendship or perhaps love in other cases, is still there and will always be.

 

 

Now my Dad is writing a letter to his friend's widow and their adult children about his special friendship with this man and it is bringing back a lot of great memories for him which he hopes will also be a comfort in the days and years ahead as they and my Dad work through their loss.

 

Don't ever unestimate the importance of a note written from the heart.  After my husband died, I received cards from people who worked with my husband or were friends with him and some wrote notes to me about how they knew him and their experiences with him.  I saved those cards because those notes were like little pieces of a puzzle that was my husband.  Sometimes the stories caught me by surprise and other times I only knew the story from my husband's point of view and the handwritten note reveal a different side of him to me.

Let me be honest, sometimes the stories weren't always the best but either way, the notes were part of dealing honestly and openly with our feelings of grief and trying to find comfort in reaching out and sharing.