Your Life, Your Movie

"Stay In Your Own Movie"

 

~ DeVon Franklin

 

When my son was a young child, he would talk about going to various friend's houses to play and how wonderful their house was, how great their snacks were and how nice their parents were and how perfect everything always seemed when he was there at whatever friends house he happened to be.  Sometimes he would even tell me that the parents of some of his friends never even ever argued.  Ever.

 

First I told him that they were waiting for him to leave so they could have their argument and then I would smile and tell him that I was glad he liked to go and play with his friends at their house and that his friends were always welcome to also come to our house to play.  And they would.  A lot.  And as my son grew up it was wonderful to see many different friends run in and out of our house as he hung out with lots of his friends, old and new.

 

My son's vision of other people's lives as perfect is something that I fall into too and maybe this happens to you too.  It's easy to look at another person's life, whether a friend or someone you don't know well at all, and think that just because it all looks good, you know what I mean -- the house, the car, the children, the spouse, the job -- that theirs is a perfect life.  However, here's a major spoiler: It's not.  I'm not saying that if someone else's situation looks good then it's got to be bad.  I'm just remarking on the possibility that behind all those things that  look good sometimes there lurks a lot of burdens and troubles and problems because they aren't always obvious to others.

 

The parental insight I offered to my son goes something like this: there will always be people who have more than you and there will always be people who have less than you.  Yes, it's a normal thing to want to improve your life and work towards goals that get you to a better place but don't set yourself up by comparing your life to theirs because you might end up being dissatisfied and unhappy.

 

Instead, look at the blessings and gifts in your life and be happy and proud of what you have worked hard to earn or achieve.  Your talents are unique and not like anyone else's.  It is hard not to compare because sometimes it is so in your face.  But there is more to someone else's story than you know and there are always trade offs being made for what arrives in your life.  I have found there is a certain quiet grace to having the confidence to live within your means and being at peace with the path you have chosen.  Your life is just as special as anyone else's.

 

Continue to develop your gifts and appreciate the wonders in your life for there is always something new to learn, something new to discover. 

 

Focus on what is happening in your life instead of comparing your life to someone else's.  Comparing is a waste of time.  You only have a partial picture of what is going on with others.

 

But you know the whole picture of what is happening to you so put your energy on you and the people you care about.

 

It's your life, your movie, so stay in it, as DeVon Franklin says, and try to make every day a block buster!!

 

It's A Wonderful Life

This time of year I am always on the lookout for when "It's Wonderful Life," is airing on television.

I could buy the DVD of this holiday classic but that would take the spontaneity out of it for me.  I like the surprise of turning on the television and finding it already on, or in the case of this past Friday evening, I caught it right at the very beginning.

I know that it's not a diverse film, I know that many things that happen in this film are dated and wouldn't be said or wouldn't happen today but I think "It's A Wonderful Life" is popular for other reasons.  The story's core message rings true today for all of us whether or not a particular group of people is featured in the movie or not.

It doesn't matter what gender or race you are or where you live or what you do, whether you are a parent or married or single because here's the message of the movie:  each person's life has a purpose.

 

We are George Bailey.

 

We may not know the effect that our life has on another person's but rest assured it does.  Each one of us is here on Earth for a reason and our life does make a difference and touches so many other lives.  The big things and the small things that we do and do not do not only affects our life, but also the lives of many others.  Please remember this idea when you are having a bad day and nothing seems to be going right.  You are probably doing something good and you just don't realize it.

 

Jimmy Stewart & Donna Reed star in "It's A Wonderful Life"

In the movie, "It's A Wonderful Life", we see that the town of Bedford Falls would have been known as Pottersville if it were not for George Bailey and the Bailey Savings & Loan offering help to the community.  Also when George is a boy he saves his brother, Harry, who then grows up to be a War Hero, from drowning in an icy pond, and George also prevents the pharmacist, Mr. Gower, from giving poisonous pills to a customer.

But George doesn't think twice about the good works he has done.  This is just the way he is wired.  Then one Christmas Eve a large amount of bank money is misplaced and he is desperate to find it. When he can't, all he can see is criminal charges and jail time in his future.  He decides he will be worth more dead than alive and then George starts thinking about suicide.  He drives to a bridge but before he can do anything, a man jumps into the river and George jumps in to save him.  After they both get out of the river, the man reveals himself to be Clarence, George Bailey's guardian angel. 

 

I love Clarence!  He is a great character with his large sleeping shirt and talk of earning his wings in Heaven for when he first arrives on Earth he is only an AS2, Angel Second Class.

 

This gem of a movie opened two weeks before Christmas in 1946 but it didn't do very well.  It wasn't until 1974 when it began airing on network television that it gained a huge following.  Ever since then the movie is shown during the holidays and is a wonderful reminder that life is all about love and taking care of each other.

As Clarence writes in his thank you note to George: "No man is a failure who has friends.  Thanks for the wings.  Love, Clarence."

Within The Morning Light

I am an early riser.  I find the morning to be peaceful and so quiet.  I use my morning time to collect my thoughts about what I think is going to happen during that particular day and pray for other things that I hope will happen.

 

So the morning is when a lot happens for me.  With my trusty cups of hot tea, I appreciate the solitude of the wee early hours of the day.  Quiet allows me to think and to breathe and pull myself together.

 

I am always writing down blog ideas and collecting different points of view on the subjects of resilience, rebuilding a new life and grief but the morning is usually when I actually post my thoughts.  I try to write whenever I get the chance so I don't lose my ideas, but that is sometimes difficult because I also have a full time job that I work during the day.

 

You may not be a morning person but perhaps you find quiet for yourself at other times of the day.  Try to spend some quiet time with your thoughts.

 

Short periods of time spent in solitude can be a good thing.

Solitude

By Garnett Ann Schultz

 

The sighing wind so slowly passed

Across the rolling seas,

It climbed the hill and came to rest

Among the stately trees,

Each nodding flower nestled there

Within the morning light,

Protected by the still of dawn

As darkness crept from sight.

 

The golden sun came stealing through

And lingered on the breeze,

As nature loaned an added charm,

A gentle little tease,

The dew that sparkled on the grass

The quiet, oh, so dear,

Within the tender arms of Spring

A peacefulness and cheer.

 

No sound within the forest glade

But that of singing birds,

A music sweet upon the air-

No human voice is heard,

Just Mother Nature lingers there

A carefree, happy mood,

The world in quietness supreme

God's wondrous solitude.

Sonia Sotomayor

I am a big believer in the idea that when someone offers you a helping hand that you should turn around and offer your hand to help someone else.

It's the right thing to do and haven't you also found that you always get more out of life when you become actively involved and emotionally invest in it?  I know I do!

I'm guessing that U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor practices this same philosophy because she recently went back to her childhood roots in the Bronx, NY and spent the day with young children from the Dream Big program at Environment Day held at Fordham University.  Dream Big is a four to six week summer arts enrichment program for elementary school aged children program at local schools and community based organizations.

US Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor reads
to the children at the Dream Big program

Sotomayor had a rough childhood.  She was born in a public housing project, her father was an alcoholic and she was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes when she was eight years old.  After her father died when she was nine, her mother worked as nurse and raised Sonia and her brother, Juan.  The power of education was something their mother emphasized over and over to them and it was Sonia's ticket out of the Bronx.

 

She was inspired by Nancy Drew books (my favorite too!) and those books plus watching Perry Mason on television lead to her wanting to become a lawyer and ultimately the first Hispanic to become a member of the Supreme Court.

"My dream is that each of you finds your dream and that it comes true," Sotomayor told the children.  "And I hope that when you reach your dream, you'll write me a letter and you'll tell me."

Despite her very busy schedule on the Supreme Court, Sotomayor frequently returns to the Bronx, which she calls her "beloved world," to stay involved with her dynamic community, to give back what she has learned so far in her life journey and to help inspire children to achieve goals that may take them beyond their neighborhoods.

"Don't give up chasing your dreams," Sotomayor said.

 

Giving to others can offer us a view of ourselves as strong and valued and needed.  Whether you come from the Bronx or you are in a place where you are trying to rebuild your life, I hope Sonia Sotomayor's tenacity inspires you to stay on your path and continue to follow your passions wherever they may take you and don't forget to help another person along the way.