Willing To Wonder

 

 

I do not at all understand

the mystery of grace --

only that it meets us

where we are

but does not leave us

where it found us.

 

          ~ Anne Lamott

A Navajo Prayer

As we embrace a new day. . .

Contra Costa County, California
Photo Courtesy of Flickr

 

A Navajo Prayer

In beauty may I walk.

 

All day long may I walk.

 

Through the returning seasons may I walk.

 

On the trail marked with pollen may I walk.

 

With grasshoppers about my feet may I walk.

 

With dew about my feet may I walk.

 

Planting Fields Arboretum
 Long Island New York

 

With beauty may I walk.

 

With beauty before me may I walk.

 

With beauty behind me may I walk.

 

With beauty above me may I walk.

 

With beauty below me may I walk.

 

With beauty all around me may I walk.

 

In old age, wandering on a trail of beauty,

lively may I walk.

 

In old age, wandering on a trail of beauty

living again may I walk.

 

It is finished in beauty.

 

It is finished in beauty.

 

 

 

A Buddhist Rice Bowl

It's Something To Think About. . . .

"In Zen Buddhism, there's a concept called 'zen mind,' or beginner's mind.'  They say that the mind should be like an empty rice bowl.

If it's already full, then the universe can't fill it.

If it's empty, it has room to receive.

This means that when we think we have things figured out, we're not teachable.  Genuine insight can't dawn on a mind that's not open to receive it.

Surrender is a process of emptying the mind."

                                  ~ By Marianne Williamson, "A Return To Love,

Reflections on the Principles of A Course In Miracles

 

Photo Courtesy of Josh Bulriss



A Healing Patch of Green In Richmond

I took a road trip to Richmond, Virginia this past Saturday to visit my son and his girlfriend and we spent part of the day leisurely strolling the grounds of a breathtaking place called Maymont.

 

I knew nothing about Maymont but was happy to go along and discover more about this estate and 100 acre park given to the city of Richmond in 1925 by James Henry and Sallie May Dooley.  As we walked through the nature center and then went out its back doors, rolling hills of green and rows of small rose bushes and manicured gardens greeted us.  The sound of rushing water further along the path could be heard and we came upon a water fall of sorts (I took the photo!) which you could view from above where the water descended down the hill and beside it as you walked down the steps to a another healing patch of green: a beautiful Japanese garden full of bamboo, small bridges and large orange and white koi.

Maymont Water Fall

I could have stayed there for hours, absorbing the tranquility of the trees, the warm sun, relaxing sound of the water and the beauty of being surrounded by undeveloped green space.  It was so comforting and hopeful and yes, healing.

 

Unspoiled nature has this incredible power to produce a calming effect on me.  When you stop and observe its seasonal beauty, it takes you out of yourself and reminds you that you are part of something a lot bigger than yourself, a community as big as Planet Earth and all of its natural wonders.

 

Exploring Maymont reminded me that I need to pause everyday and enjoy life's small, fleeting pleasures, the colors and fragrance of a flower, the sound of water falling over rocks, the crisp smell of a wood fire, the feel of the sun on my face, and just walking in the grass.  I need to spend more time noticing and enjoying whenever nature is around me and let its healing spirit wash over me.

 

I love the city but sometimes its noise and constant traffic jams can tend to grind you down and when I find an oasis of green space, whether it's a park or potted plants and flowers, it calms me down and allows me to put positive thoughts back in my brain.

We all know how to work and set goals for ourselves but do we know how to play?  Do we go out of our way to make sure we regularly relax and enjoy the people we love and the beauty of our surroundings?

 

Exploring a new path on Saturday, talking and walking through Maymont's historic grounds untangled the thoughts in my head and allowed me to refresh my perspective about life, reminding me that life is not as overwhelming as it may sometimes feel.

 

Truly Breathing

Breathing, centering, finding my inner peace.  That is what today is about.

Thich Nhat Hanh is a Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, author, poet and peace activist.

Just typing the combination of those words makes me feel calmer.

I know that somewhere, under all the rushing and running around and multi-tasking is a peaceful inner core, and I want to find it.

But first I have to create the conditions to get to it.

What is the hurry?

With the help of Thich Nhat Hanh's quote below, I will decrease the speed with which I am living my life.  I will do one thing.  Slowly.

So that I may reach a peaceful place.

Photo Courtesy of Wuestenhagen Imagery

"Breathing in, I calm my body.

 

Breathing out, I smile.

 

Dwelling in the present moment I know

 

this is a wonderful moment."

 

                         ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Sea of Turquoise

Today is about tranquility,

 

the quality of being calm.

 

Enter a sea of turquoise. . .

 

And take a deep breath

 

And exhale. . .

 

You could do it all here: cry, laugh and heal!



Photo Courtesy of House of Turquoise

Exiting The Control Lane

It is Friday and I am one big burnt piece of toast!

It has been a week of going to the hospital (hopefully my Dad will be discharged today), car maintenance (way too expensive) and early starts at work (hate the alarm).  But I am truly looking forward to the end of today because that is when my well-deserved vacation begins!!!!!!

As hard as I try to maneuver around the built-in stress of the above situations, I am just a human being like anyone else and I do get sucked into worrying about all of these things instead of having faith that they will eventually get solved or will eventually be handled.

This where managing my expectations comes in.  For some reason, after all these years, I still think that if I treat a person nicely that they will treat me nicely.  NOT!  I really have to work on cutting loose my expectations of a situation and just let the situation happen.  Not to say that I should just lay down and let life roll over me but I need to tell myself that there is a difference between trying to control a situation and going into a situation with an open mind.

Photo Courtesy of Associated Press

The Elite Daily has come up with a list of the 20 things we need to let go of in order to be happy and I think it's a good solid list for all of us to consider.  I would say that #20 is an area I need to definitely focus on a lot; like every day; like all the time.  I do unfairly disappoint myself because I set my expectations higher than I should and then come away wondering why something happened the way it did. 

Instead, I should learn to sit back and let things develop.

Check out the list for yourself and see what you think.  If there is an area that you think you need to focus on in your life, please share below.  So without further discussion, away we go!

Here's the list from the Elite Daily:

http://elitedaily.com/life/20s-things-you-need-to-let-go-to-live-happy-life/

A Peaceful Soul

Thought For The Day. . .

Photo Courtesy of The Secrets of the Sea

For it was not into my ear you whispered,

 

but into my heart.

 

It was not my lips you kissed,

 

but my soul.

 

                       ~ Judy Garland

 

A Daily Om

We all need a mental health break, don't we?  I just didn't expect to find one downtown in a city park.

While walking down the street yesterday during lunch hour in the downtown area of the nation's capitol, I spied a large white tent set up across the street in a park known as McPherson Square.  The tent reminded me of one of those large white tents that people use at outdoor wedding receptions.  I could only see the back of the tent so, ever the curious one, I walked over to check it out.

Somebody must be promoting something, I thought, but from the first glance of it, I couldn't tell exactly what.

Turns out it was Mental Health; as in come inside the tent and take a rest from your daily work routine or from whatever is happening to you.

When I got closer to the tent, I could see a rather small blue, yellow and white sign saying "Mental Health Break, Noon to 7 pm, May 6."  Yes, I thought, this looks interesting.  The front of the tent was wide open and inside were low white tables and cushions for seating.  Small groups of people were sitting and standing, talking and reading.  Other tables were set up with free goodies such as blue balls that people could hold and squeeze to relieve stress or anxiety, and there also were water bottles along with green tea for drinking.  There was even a photobooth for quick laughs if you wanted to take silly pictures.

 

Children Practicing Yoga
Photo Courtesy The Daily Om

Thanks to The Chicago School of Professional Psychology, which was sponsoring the mental health event, people could also take yoga classes outside of the tent for relaxation under a cluster of trees. A few people taking a class that had already started were either sitting on chairs or sitting on mats with their eyes closed and arms stretched out, palms towards the sun.

It looked so un-DC.

Yet it was a unique concept.  Everything went to improving the human experience and community.

 

Here, a couple of blocks from the White House and The Washington Post, two centers of business that I think most people would associate with stress and hypercompetition, was a place dedicated -- at least for one day -- to finding your inner self and "happy place."

 

I associate, and I'm sure you do too, a mental health break or a mental health day to calling in sick from work.  We've all done it at least once in our work lives or know someone who's done it. Either you've been working on a project or just putting in too many long days and you need a break.  You're not really sick but you know you're going to get sick if you don't take a much needed break.  Thus, the mental health day.

 

 

But this mental health tent was sending a different message from what I could see,  which is: we are all capable of self-care at any time of the day in any place and with some practice, we can learn to  turn down the extraneous volume surrounding us and instead find inner calm and peace.

 

As author and wellness coach Kris Carr has written, "When you understand your mind you can harness its power to achieve more than you imagined possible.  The space between the noise is where God/dess lives.  There are many answers there.  Don't shy away from visiting."

 

Unwanted Care

How do you try to take care of someone when they don't want you to?

I'm sure you must know a person you care about and perhaps even love who doesn't want you to help them even though it is obvious that help is very much needed. You understand the frustration right? It's the frustation of no matter how hard you try to offer various kinds of support, you never are able to do the right thing, the thing that will make them happy.

This is what I know I can do: I call on the telephone, I listen, I try to empathize.  I visit as much as I can because nothing beats seeing someone in person.  I offer to run errands.  I bring food so the person won't have to cook and I clean while I'm in their house.

I think listening is the most important thing I can do because everyone knows that the more a person expresses his/her feelings, the better they feel.  There's no point in trying to get them to open up if they're not ready or willing to talk.

Most of all, I try to maintain a calm demeanor.

This is what I don't do: I don't offer suggestions.  I don't offer anything that could be viewed as a solution.  I don't ask too many questions.  I don't intrude into the other person's personal business.  I don't react to negative comments.

It's a constant balancing act but I care about this person so I keep striving to maintain the balance.

And so I keep on trying. . .

And trying. . . and trying.

Picturing The Calm

I'm picturing myself in a place near the water that is quiet and calm.

Shutting out the noise and distractions.

Hoping this feeling will carry me through the day!

Photo courtesy of Delaware National Estuarine Research

A Delaware Bay Haiku (c) KBC

 

Horseshoe crabs spawning

 

Lots of shorebirds arriving

 

The Bay inviting

Quietude

I am constantly reminding myself to chill out: when I am driving to and from work, when I am at work, or when I am in a situation where my expectations are not even close to matching up to reality.

 

Add to the equation a traumatic event such as the recent bombing at the Boston Marathon and the resulting increased security and it's no wonder that you, me and others are on edge.  Stressed out.  And the toll that stress takes on our physical health and mental well being is daunting.

 

I don't think I am alone in feeling this way.  No wonder people are finding it difficult to get along.  The work-hard-get-ahead lifestyle eventually catches up with you whether you admit it or not.  If you don't feel well, you're not going to act well.

 

So I'm thinking that we all can take it down a couple of notches and play better together.  One way that I try to play better with others is to remind myself to lower my voice.  If I can keep my voice in a monotone volume when talking to others then that does a lot to calm me.  I have a tendency to get excited when I am talking and then have a bad habit of raising my voice.  I'm getting better at achieving this but it's still something I need to constantly work on.

 

 

 

It's all about inner peace; a state of mentally and physically being in a calm place.  Peace of mind is generally associated with bliss and contentment.

 
Looking within myself to quiet my conflicts and trying always to smooth the rough edges is one way for me to try and get to a place of inner peace.  If I don't try to find and practice inner peace, then I can't very well go out in the world and deal with others in a civilized manner.  It really starts within me.

The words to John Lennon's infamous song, Imagine, come to mind:

 

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

 

From big worries in your life to small inner butterflies, together let's look within ourselves and give inner peace a chance.

 

Breathing

 

 

 

 

"Breathing in,

I calm my body,

Breathing out,

I smile.

Dwelling in the

present moment

I know this is a

wonderful

moment."

 

~Thich Nhat Hanh

 

 

Getting Into The Zen Groove

 

 

"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset."
- St. Francis de Sales, patron saint of writers

Courtesy of Bethany Fine Arts Gallery

From my core being, I am trying so very hard to attain a zen state of mind.

 

This year is the year when I am trying to learn to meditate and think about serene things and scenes of nature that bring to mind a balance of calm and beauty.

 

It is a matter of trial and error for me to get my Western mind into an Eastern place of mindfulness where deep breathing and relaxation can lead to healing.

 

It is harder for me than I thought it would be because once I close my eyes and try to start to focus on one place, less than a minute later my mind wants to start thinking about something that happening in my life that needs solving.

 

I am slowly learning how to put the brakes on my busy thoughts and I'm going to keep working on this because the end results are so worth it.

 

Meditation helps control pain and promotes general health, according to the American Holistic Medical Association.  A series of studies published in prestigious medical journals over the past decade found that people who regularly practice meditation reported a significant decrease in pain, anxiety, depression, blood pressure and other physical symptoms.

 

The breathing is the first thing that I have been consciously working on.  Breathing, you say?  Don't you just do that naturally?  True, we all breathe to stay alive but most of the time we don't realize that we are breathing in short breaths instead of slower, deeper breaths.  Okay, maybe you realize it but I'm just becoming aware of it.

 

For instance, the other day, I caught myself when I was in the middle of trying to finish something at work on deadline. I was trying to work faster and I wasn't paying any attention to the way I was breathing. I realized that if I stopped, took some deep breaths and slowly continued to take deep breaths that my pace of work was more focused and I finished with a better state of mind.

Instead of being all frazzled, I felt calmer.

 

It's going to be awhile before I really feel I am on the road to true mediation but I am making the effort to be more aware and I feel that's progress.

 

The journey towards mindfulness and a calm, focused inner being continues. . .

 

My groovy readers, please share. . . What do you know about meditation that could help others? 

Let Your Light Shine

Today is twenty four hours of new time.  Time you didn't have yesterday and time you won't have tomorrow.

Today is a day for you to shine.  In the words of South African President Nelson Mandela (please read below), "We are powerful beyond measure."

 

Today is a day to discover something new about yourself.  A day to show what you are about.

It's your day. . . Find your power!

 

 

 

Find Your Power

 

 

Our Deepest Fear

From Nelson Mandela's 1994 inaugural speech

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who I am to be brilliant,

gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you NOT to be?

You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the World.

There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that

other people won't feel unsure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God

that is within us.

It is not just in some of us;

it is in everyone.

As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously 

give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.

Grounded To The Ground

Staying Grounded

Have you seen that television commercial where the couple is test driving a new car in the desert and then later someone off camera asks them why they liked it?

The man says something about wheel rims on the tires and the way the car felt when he was driving it and then the woman says more good stuff about the car and ends the commercial by saying it felt "grounded to the ground."  The guy off camera can't believe she has expressed herself this way and he repeats "grounded to the ground" as though it were a question and then she laughs while saying the phrase again.

It's not just the words "grounded to the ground" that crack me up but it's also the way that she says it.

It's funny and at the same time the phrase strikes a chord with me these days.  Most people do want to feel as though they are "grounded to the ground."  Stability and reliability are good things.  It's reassuring to know that certain things will work or happen at certain times.  And that you can count on certain people to be there for you when times are tough.

 

It's very unsettling when you feel as though parts of your life that you can't control are flying in whatever direction they want.  You start to wonder what will happen next because you didn't anticipate these events AT ALL!  I can't be more specific because other people would prefer that I not go on and on about it in my blog.  But I am trying to take my own advice about slowing down, taking a deep breath, and keeping life's unexpected events in perspective.

I have nothing against spontaneity but lately there have been too many health surprises in our family and I now find myself wishing for consistently healthy days for everyone I know.  While writing this post, I am drinking a cup of hot herbal tea and channeling good, peaceful and calming thoughts.  Yes, I have been praying too and that helps to destress my thoughts and feelings.  Knowing that I am not alone in this huge.

 

So I continue to mentally sort through my emotions, talk, talk, talk to friends and family and share all of this with you my wonderful readers which definitely helps me feel more "grounded to the ground."

 

Thanks for being here today!!

Taylor Swift -- Why Ya Gotta Be So Mean?

It's the beginning of a new work week and I'm going to be singing this Taylor Swift song to myself all day long.  There's something about this song that helps to keep me chugging along.  Instead of getting worked up and reacting to situations I can't do anything about, I'm going to be humming this song to myself and staying mentally cool, calm and collected.

At least that's the plan for now!  So Monday, bring it on and let's get goin':

Emotional Spring Cleaning

I'm so happy that Spring is almost here!  I've already seen some cherry blossom buds tenderly opening and bursts of happy yellow and white daffodils in bloom around my neighborhood.  What a welcome sign that winter is finally coming to an end!  Part of my routine to get ready for this new and warmer season is cleaning the house and getting rid of items I no longer use or want. 

I take it as a healthy sign that every year as I open the windows, clean and change the house for warmer weather, I'm able to part with more things that once belonged to my husband.  I think it's okay or "normal" to keep a few precious items that belonged to your loved one when he or she was alive but not boxes and boxes of stuff.

In the beginning, I kept a lot of his clothes because I wasn't sure whether my son or others would decide later on that they wanted a particular item for themselves.  He owned a ton of ties and shall we say some of them were rather spirited and colorful just like him.  Yes, his ties were legendary.  For the most part, people eventually received what they wanted and now I have donated many items to a men's homeless shelter.  I think my husband would have liked this idea.

I still have lots of pictures, postcards and some letters written in my husband's handwriting because I find it comforting to look at his distinctive script.  I also saved his wristwatch and a few other personal things but that's about it for material possessions.

Holding on to a loved one's possessions is a tricky area because it can become unhealthy and the inability to give possessions away can hold you back from moving forward with your life.  According to Dr. Rita Freedman, grieving, for some people, can become a habit that is "just as compelling and satisfying as any addiction."

Freedman, a licensed clinical psychologist and author of several books, including, "Overcoming Loss: A Healing Guide," says that "letting go" is an active process that has many aspects.  It can involve letting go of objects, as well as anger, guilt and some of life's established routines.

"You may have some painful decisions as you start sorting heirlooms from junk, sweet momentos from simple clutter," Freedman says.  "To grow beyond loss you must carve out some new space in your life."

So as we spring forward this weekend and go back on daylight savings time, think about some of things you have been keeping.  Do you really need them?  Are there things you could discard?  Making this new space is scary but in searching for it you may find a new energy or new calm within yourself.