Unwanted Care

How do you try to take care of someone when they don't want you to?

I'm sure you must know a person you care about and perhaps even love who doesn't want you to help them even though it is obvious that help is very much needed. You understand the frustration right? It's the frustation of no matter how hard you try to offer various kinds of support, you never are able to do the right thing, the thing that will make them happy.

This is what I know I can do: I call on the telephone, I listen, I try to empathize.  I visit as much as I can because nothing beats seeing someone in person.  I offer to run errands.  I bring food so the person won't have to cook and I clean while I'm in their house.

I think listening is the most important thing I can do because everyone knows that the more a person expresses his/her feelings, the better they feel.  There's no point in trying to get them to open up if they're not ready or willing to talk.

Most of all, I try to maintain a calm demeanor.

This is what I don't do: I don't offer suggestions.  I don't offer anything that could be viewed as a solution.  I don't ask too many questions.  I don't intrude into the other person's personal business.  I don't react to negative comments.

It's a constant balancing act but I care about this person so I keep striving to maintain the balance.

And so I keep on trying. . .

And trying. . . and trying.

Weekends Go Too Fast

I hope your weekend was a good one and that you had a chance to relax and renew yourself.

 

My weekends always seem to fly by and just when I'm feeling as though I have totally brought myself down from the workweek, it's time to begin a new one.

 

It's okay though; I selfishly wring every minute of down time out of the weekend that I can.  Even if I am grocery shopping or running other errands, I try to enjoy the outdoors and reduce the pressure to get everything done in record time!

  

 

I try to unplug myself, even briefly from my electronic gadgets because I think they make me less patient.  More and more is supposed to happen in an instant today and life doesn't always follow our wants.  We become frustrated when phones are busy, computers freeze up, ATM machines run slowly or the checkout lines are long.

 

Waiting for something to work is an opportunity.  It is.  Come on, you know it is.  This is what I tell myself because no matter how much I want something to work faster, it never does.

It's an opportunity to pump the brakes and slow myself down.  I may feel like I am trying to beat the clock when I set out to do my errands but I really don't need to accomplish all my wants in one day. 

 

So when I miss a green light or have to reboot my computer and open all my programs up again, I try really hard to use that time to take a couple of deep breaths and remind myself that whatever I am trying to do will get done. . .eventually.