A New Place To Live

Good Morning Fantastic Readers!

This past weekend was interesting and productive and I hope yours was too!  The weekends just fly by wayyyyy too quickly don't they? 

 

Part of my weekend was spent visiting a family member.  In the course of my visit, I could tell we were going to fall into our usual conversational trap of going over the same ground that we have covered many times before.  You know what I mean, right?  The person brings up a certain subject and you know what they're going to say and you try to change their mind or at least get your point across to them.

It's pretty similar to a tire that is stuck in the mud and just spins round and round.  I didn't plan on it, but over the weekend I decided to try a different way of talking to this person because we weren't getting anywhere with the old way.

 

I know this person has been under a lot of stress and is feeling confused.  I felt like the best thing to do was to sit and listen and focus on what was being said without any reaction from me.  I decided to take myself out of the conversational equation because my point of view didn't really serve any purpose.

Instead, I wanted to try and create a healing zone; a place of safety where this person's thoughts and feelings could be shared without the possibility of an argument.

 

 

 

It wasn't a particularly honest conversation but it did allow this person to talk about their feelings and I think that was a healthy and healing thing.

 

For me, healing is finding a new place to live.

 

Not a physical place such as a new house or an apartment but a new place to mentally live.

Healing is finding the place within myself where I try to find quiet and sometimes vulnerability.  A place where I level with myself and tell myself that I can do better.  To be honest with myself and stop making excuses about my reactions to things that annoy or frustrate me.  I can control the volume of my voice and I can control the words that come out of my mouth when I'm talking to someone.

 

Healing is saying to myself that it's time to change.  When I find that my usual way of doing something or my usual reaction to something isn't working then it's time to go somewhere new and find a better way to act.

 

New ways of talking about our emotions can sometimes be scary, but new can also be refreshing because you don't have to lug your old emotional baggage with you; you can lock it up and leave it behind.

 

I'd love to know how you deal with breaking old habits and how you discover news ways of communicating.  Let me know if you have some tips that can break the behavioral logjam and let the conversations flow towards a healing place.

 

You can comment below or you can also comment on my Facebook page!

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!

 

My SNL Experience

One of the items on my so-called bucket list actually happened and I still pinch myself about the experience.

 

After watching Saturday Night Live on the television for many, many years, I finally got to go to a LIVE SHOW!!

It was fascinating, it was great fun, it was high energy, it was pure entertainment!

It was everything I ever thought it would be and more!!!  Talk about kick down the door, put yourself out there, over-the-top creativity!!

I could go on and on about the skits, the people, the host, the musical entertainment but then this post would be about SNL's content and there is really nothing to debate about SNL's content.  It's just the best!!!!

Bill Hader Playing Stefon

Instead, I would like to talk about what I learned from my SNL experience.  What I learned, no really what I soaked in from this live television experience, is that even though you might be scared out of your mind (Or Not), taking a risk is something everyone should do.

 

Find out something new about yourself.

 

How will you know if something will work if you don't ever try doing it?

 

When my son comes to me and asks me if he should pursue something, I almost always say, "Yes! Go ahead and try it.  If you don't, you will always look back and wonder what would have happened if you had done it."  And I know that regret is not a good feeling.

I also know that risk is a relative term.  Something you consider risky may not be risky to me at all.  But that's okay.  The point is push yourself, dig down deep and break some new ground for yourself.

 

Surprise yourself!  But most of, my SNL experience taught me once again the value of being with people you love and just having a good time.  

 

Having a good spontaneous out loud laugh.  Laughing so hard you can't get your breath.

 

We have to be able to laugh at ourselves and at life's humorous situations.

 

Laughter is very powerful medicine and here's a dose that should make you feel A LOT better; it's a quick clip of a very popular character -- Stefon -- played by the incredibly talented Bill Hader:

 

The Very Cool Sela Ward

Sometimes on Friday evenings, I watch CBS's prime-time hit series CSI:NY on television.  I love crime shows and one of the other reasons I like to watch it is Sela Ward, an award-winning actress who plays a very cool, straight-to-the-point detective named Jo Danville.

In real life, Ward is a busy mother of two children and a wife as well as a career woman.  Yet she always gives off this aura of being calm, collected and totally together; something I am constantly working towards.

This month she landed beautifully and professionally on the cover of  Ladies Home Journal magazine where she gave an interesting interview about taking risks in life and being open to unplanned opportunities that life may spring on you.

Sela Ward

I love Ward's honest attitude towards life and being courageous in your actions.  She's not afraid to admit to making a mistake or putting herself out there in an untested way.  She picks herself up and continually starts over again.  That takes a lot of guts!

While she talks in the interview about her determination with regards to acting, I think her philosphy of grabbing life and going full throttle can easily be applied to myself and anyone else out there trying to find a new direction in their life or just trying to discover new ways to make their life work in a healthy and creative way.

Here are just three of many insightful questions and answers from the Ladies Home Journal interview with the very cool Sela Ward:

Q: LHJ: Isn't it funny how we make plans for our lives, but so much occurs by chance?

Ward: Yes, but there's a drive that makes you keep moving forward -- and connects you to other people.  If you sit at home all day long or play it safe or say "I'm not going to go to that," then you don't meet those interesting people who can change your life.  You have to open yourself up to the world.  I open myself up to possibilities all the time.

Q: LHJ: In what ways do you keep moving forward, in your personal and professional life?

Ward:  When I was on Sisters, I'd be so bad some weeks.  I'd take a risk with a scene and fall flat on my face.  But I'd pick myself up, work with my acting coach, go back the next week and then be kind of good.  Of course the following week I'd fall on my face again.  I did this for six years.  By the time I was finished there wasn't one scene or script that I was afraid of.  I have that same attitude about life.  I know how to put in the hard work, I know what I don't know and I know how to figure it out.

Q: LHJ: Are you always thinking about what's next or is there part of you that is able to sit back and enjoy the here and now?

Ward: I try to live my life in the present.  If you think in terms of "This is it," not "Things will be better in my next lifetime," the choices you make are different.  For me right now it's about living my life in Technicolor.  There are so many opportunities and possibilities all around us.  Even though I'm not in that "35 and under" relevant category anymore, I've still got a lot to offer -- I've still got a lot I want to do.

Living our lives in Technicolor. . . Isn't that a great concept?  Sela is so wise!

Let's do it!

Roll The Dice

 

 

A Road in County Kerry, Ireland

 

I am comfortable with the fact that part of achieving something in life means taking a risk.  I'm not talking about a risk to your personal safety or health but an action that is out of your routine and a little out of your comfort zone in your personal or work lives.

 

I think that living life means that you should take a chance on something you want to achieve.  I am watching four extremely talented people in my life right now who are really putting themselves out there and working creatively as well as very hard to accomplish something very big for themselves and it's exciting to watch. 

 

But taking chances, on occasion, means that you also need to be prepared for the idea that it might not work out.  That can be okay because I would rather take a chance and find out what happens when I roll the dice on a dream than not take a chance at all. 

 

I feel it's better to look at the information you have, access the risk, and go for it rather than look back later and regret that you didn't try something different or new.

 

We all suffer setbacks now and then.  That's life.  The setbacks help us appreciate our triumphs and the hard work, imagination and support that what went into achieving them.

 

Think about what is really important to you and go from there.

 

Find what is right for you. . . .

 

Grab Your Opportunity

"When someone says 'Opportunity only knocks once,' what in the world are they thinking?

Opportunity exists virtually everywhere you look."

~ Richard Carlson