Nighty Night?

The change in seasons has been taking me for a bit of a roller coaster ride lately and I am ready to get off.

I can't quite put my finger on what is bringing about all of these conflicting feelings but I am determined not to let them get the best of me.  Some of it, I think, has to do with the sun beginning to set earlier now but I think the other factors may be a prolonged lack of sleep and a lot of family stuff rolling around in my brain.  I know I am tired and I am ready to fall asleep but I don't always stay asleep.

 

Maybe this has happened to you and then you know how frustrating it is to look at your bedside clock, close your eyes and pray for sleep to come and send you to a restful place.  And then it doesn't happen.

 

Did you know that over 20% of Americans may suffer from chronic sleep loss or untreated sleep disorders?  Amazing right?  It seems so simple: it's night time, you're tired, lay down on the bed, close your eyes and off to sleep.  Not.

Sleep is one of those things that I take for granted until I can't do it.  I would love to sleep in like I used to when I was in college.  Now that was really sleeping!  I could sleep until noon or one o'clock with no problems at all and wake up totally refreshed.  Plus I never felt guilty if I slept half of the day away.

Now it seems as if I need some kind of nuclear fairy dust to get me to go into a deep sleep.

 

I made some progress last night in catching up on some of my lost sleep, forcing myself to turn off the television around 9 pm and get ready for bed by reading.  These small changes might be the trick to turning the whole sleep thing around.  I'll have to wait and see. 

In some ways this inability to sleep reminds me of the period of time after my husband died and I would only sleep for a few hours a night.  Trouble with sleeping is normal when you are grieving or handling a stressful event in your life; especially when your grief is new.  Grief may cause anxious and depressed feelings which can then cause you to stay wide awake, getting caught up in a loop of lacking sleep.

 

It's true that your life has changed.  There is no ignoring that painful fact.  I can't tell you when you will laugh again -- although I hope it's soon -- but I can tell you that the more you are able to acknowledge your true feelings and express them, the faster you will process your grief feelings and regain your sense of self and regular sleep habits.

 

Ah, yes regular sleep habits.  I'm looking forward to having those back in my life and will continue to try some different ways to make this happen. 

Without being too personal, what are some of the things that help you sleep well?

Needing Sleep

Lots of great things happen to you while you are asleep.

 

Your skin repairs itself, your mind relaxes and resets itself and your body strengthens its immune system and reduces levels of stress.

But you have to do it to reap the benefits.

 

These days people like to brag about how little sleep they need.  I remember reading somewhere that Martha Stewart only sleeps four hours a night.  I thought to myself, "You've got to be kidding!  I could never last very long if I only got four hours of sleep a night!"

Even Charlie Brown & Lucy Need To Sleep

One of the key elements of a healthy life and healthy grieving is allowing your emotions to surface in order to work through them.  You can put off dealing with your emotions but sooner or later they will come back at you, even stronger than before.  Unfortunately, you have to come face-to-face with your pain.  Oherwise you block the grieving process.  If you continue to ignore these emotions, then you end up holding them inside yourself and eventually you will affect your ability to sleep and other areas of your life.

 

Do you feel tired all the time?  Part of grieving is feeling fatigued.  I was exhausted after my husband's death and I found that dealing with my husband's death made my sleeping patterns change in a way that had never happened before.  After working all day, I would fall asleep sometime around 7:30 pm or 8 pm and then sleep until 4am.  On the weekends, I would fall alseep during the day.  This went on for a number of months and then my sleeping pattern finally changed again.  It felt weird but it was okay. 

 

Even if you can't sleep because you are upset or anxious about a loved one's death, I also found you can sometimes sit still and breathe quietly and find a focal point in which to loose yourself.  It might not work the first few times you try this but it is worth the effort.

 

Sleep is critical to our well-being and resting your body will help your emotional recovery.

 

Listen to this great TED talk that Arianna Huffington gave on the value of getting a good night's rest and how sleep is essential to our creativity and recovery.  She makes some great points!

 

  

Seaching for Serenity

As we continue to deal with the tragic stories coming out in the news about the Newtown, Connecticut shootings, let us try to find a break from the pain.

We begin a new work week and also find that Christmas is just a week away. The juxtaposition of the Newtown stories, the dialogue online and on television and in the newspapers this weekend about gun control, the state of mental health and parenting issues in the United States and Christmas decorations and music is jarring.

I found myself turning off the television and only reading parts of stories because it all became too much to digest.

I am not ignoring what has happened but at a certain point, my mind needs a rest.  My mental break consists of finding a place where I can close my eyes, take a deep breath and mentally think of a calming image in nature such as an isolated beach, rolling green hills or a field of flowers.

Breath.  Listen to your heartbeat.  Breath.  Think of the ocean and the calming sound of the waves as they meet the sandy shore.  Take another deep breath.

What is serenity in a time of turmoil?  It can be a place of inner peace and a way of finding hope and healing even while experiencing pain.

I found this short explanation about serenity on www.wisdomcommons.org and thought I would share it with you.  I hope you find it helpful:

 Serenity means maintaining a sense of inner peace even in difficult situations.

 

We gain serenity by accepting the things we cannot change and focusing our energy where we can make a difference.

 

Fear, anger or desire can create a sense of urgency that triggers us to react impulsively. When this happens, we risk undermining our goals, damaging relationships--even violating our deepest values. By contrast, when we cultivate serenity, we don’t fear our emotions, but we do keep them in balance. We govern ourselves rather than being ruled by external circumstances and our feelings about them.

 

Meditative practices, contemplation, physical exercise and self-regulation skills all can help us to maintain a serene, peaceful state of mind. This mental state in turn frees us to live thoughtfully and intentionally.

 

When we hold onto our own sense of serenity, we help others to keep theirs.

                                                       

Take Care

Vick's: A Quick Home Remedy

I am fighting a cold and a cough.  I thought it was a 24-hour thing but it has lasted longer than I expected.  I probably caught it from someone in my office because lately there are a lot of sneezers and coughers around me.

 

This is not the time of the year to feel sick.  I have been constantly washing my hands to prevent picking up germies but obviously this wasn't enough.  I haven't started my Christmas shopping; I have ideas but haven't yet gone online to find the particular gifts I have in mind.  Plus, the work pace has stepped up because people are trying to wrap things up before the end of the year.

 

I need energy and positive thoughts.

 

What to do?

 

Number one on my list is Vick's VapoRub.  It is mentholated and contains eucalyptus and the combination of the two ingredients is magical.  You might remember this from your childhood.  It comes in a little blue jar and you can find it at any drugstore.  Last night I could not breath through my nose at all and my son reminded me that I used to give him Vick's when he was little and he was stuffed up.  Presto!  After a few applications, I can breath again and my cough is getting a little better.

 

After that, the only tried and true things I can suggest are: hot tea (with honey, if you like), lots of fluids such as juices and soups, soft tissues (there are some that have Vick's in them) and rest, rest, and more rest.

 

I went to bed early, slept through the night (thank you Vick's) and I am glad that I did because I know my body needs all the energy it can get to fight this bugger.

 

Be careful out there and please take care of youself!

 

Good luck!

Stress-O-Rama



Courtesy of Ben & Jerry's


A million things are jumbling around in my brain today and I am trying to follow my own advice about being what a good friend of mine calls "a little stressy":

Breathe

Eat Well

Exercise

Get Sleep

Rest

Take it step-by-step

Break the work into 10 minute increments

Breathe

Righttttttttttt.....What I really want to do is eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream or a whole bag of Ruffles potato chips.  Now that would really do the trick!!