20 Things We Need To Say

Today is about something light and healing because lots of people will be traveling so that they can spend Thanksgiving Day with those they care about.

I love Kid President and his ability to make me and many, many others smile and laugh about the crazy things that happen in the unpredictable world around us.

He's irresistible!  I hope you agree!

 

Kid President

This new video is particularly cute (especially if you like corn dogs) and timely as Kid President reminds us of 20 things we need to remember to say more often to each other because these words repeated on a regular basis could make life go a little smoother for everyone . . . . . especially on Thanksgiving Day.

Here goes:

From A Child's Heart

 

 

 

I was browsing through two of my Letitia Baldrige books on manners while writing and posting last week about her recent death and came upon a very touching chapter she wrote on how a child learns to communicate a kind thought.

I was immediately drawn into the chapter because in today's world, it is a bit unusual to come across a child of any age who says "please" and "thank you" all on their own.

In Baldrige's book, "More Than Manners! Raising Today's Kids to Have Kind Manners & Good Hearts," she discusses the need to teach young boys and girls how to write a thank you note or at the very least, a thank you email.  Of course, she says, the children will complain and won't want to do it, but still it's important to teach them how to communicate with others and learn how to put their thoughts into words.

 

Also, most children love to receive mail that is delivered to their house and writing a note shows them that they can learn to give of themselves as well as receive from others.

Thank you notes and letters to Santa Claus are the most common type of correspondence a child will engage in but there are also other kinds of letters a child might write.  Specifically, Baldrige says, she has seen letters of condolence from children that are truly special!

My mother taught me in elementary school how to go up to someone at a funeral or a wake and sincerely say "I am sorry for your loss" but I don't think I could have written a note.  Especially to a friend or playmate my age.

 

But the secret is to speak from the heart.

 

I will now quote directly from Baldrige's book because her words are perfect and this child's letter really touched me deeply:

"I have seen many unforgettable written communications children have sent other children.  They have an impact that reaches far beyond the person who opens the envelope.  One letter of condolence written truly from the heart was composed by an eleven-year-old girl with a mild case of dyslexia.  She wrote to her best friend, the daughter of a lawyer friend of mine, on the occasion of the lawyer's wife's death.  Not only did he borrow that letter from his daughter to show to his family and all the neighbors, but he sent copies to all of his friends, and showed it to all of his close business associates.  He gave it to me to read at the beginning of a seminar in New York.  The young girl had written to his daughter:

Dear Maureen,

I'm very sorry to hear that your Mom dyed yesterday.  I know she ment lots to you, and you meant lots to her.  Your're rite, she was a very spesial Mom.  She was so nice to us kids, even when we ate her kake when she said not to.  No one made choclat kake like her.  You must be fealing sad.  Some day you'll see her again in heven.  She must have lots of friends up there.  (I hope she won't have to make too many kakes.)  When can you come over to play? I bot a new game, really neet.  Come over this wekend.  I dont want you and your Dad to fel sad."

Oh my goodness!  Is that not the sweetest letter ever?

I had to share it with you...this child's wisdom and ability to express emotion blew me away.

Only One Thing To Say...Thanks

There is a special place in the universe for people who are caregivers.  Good karma follows them wherever they go.  To selflessly make sure that another person is clean, comfortable and safe is a true act of love and respect for another human being. 

If you love the person who happens to be sick, elderly or unfortunately both, you know that they need you.  The simple tasks that you perform for them can test you but it can also be a rewarding experience.

In caregiving, you can lose yourself and become part of something bigger as life unfolds by itself.  You may recall the wonderful memories of this person in happier times and there is beauty in caregiving because the life of the one giving care is as valuable as the life of the one receiving care.    If you are not related to or are a stranger to the person, then it is even more admirable, for the caregiver is performing the essence of  'doing unto others as you would have them do to you.'

I feel that it's never to late to say "thank you" to anyone for anything.  Life is about having no regrets and taking care of someone when they are vulnerable falls into that category of doing something just because it's the right thing to do.  A verbal expression of gratitude is a powerful thing and always appreciated.

The link below will take you to a Los Angeles Times story that is an open letter from a son to his mother thanking her for the incredible acts of kindness that she performed.  Often in life we don't think about what another person has done until life has knocked us around a little bit and we come to realize that kindness should be treasured.  The timing of this son's heartfelt thanks being published on Mother's Day makes his letter even more special, but it could have been written on any day of the year.

http://www.latimes.com/health/la-me-0513-lopez-moms-day-20120513,0,1527908.column

Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes

Happy Birthday Cry, Laugh Heal!  Yup.  It has actually been one whole year since Cry, Laugh Heal was launched as a blog and I really can't believe it.

How would I measure my first year of blogging?

In friendship,

in kindness,

and in support.

That's what blogging has meant to me.  It has opened up a new world and that is exhilarating.  Along with my son's help, I pushed myself to learn something new and I am so glad that I did.   I made plenty of mistakes along the way and I'm sure I will make more next year.  But the important thing is to keep moving forward!!

Since the day I wrote my first post, I have been pleasantly surprised by the numbers of readers from all parts of the world who log on to read Cry, Laugh, Heal.  From Saudi Arabia to Lithuania and from Ireland to Nigeria, the power and reach of the internet is truly incredible and never ceases to surprise me.

I wasn't quite sure what blogging was all about but I did my research and googled around and found I liked the creativity and the immediacy.  Most of the blogs I visited were about cooking, lifestyles, decorating, health or politics but not many blogs were set up to discuss what I wanted to write about: grief, resilience and rebuilding your life.  These things I know from first hand experience.  When my husband died eight years ago, our son was thirteen years old.  I felt very alone in facing the future.  By writing a blog, I hoped I could give back and help others by writing that it's okay to acknowledge your feelings whatever they may be.  Ignoring or repressing your feelings only assures that they will last longer.

My life today is not the same life that I had when my husband was alive but I think I have carved out a solid life for myself and my son that is full of different kinds of love and adventure.  It takes time but it is possible to make another life for yourself.  It may not seem that way some days when you feel as though you have fallen off a cliff but then something can happen the next day and it can make you feel as though you have reached a place of healing.

Photo By Katie Quinn Davies

I was nervous about putting my thoughts and feelings out there in Cry, Laugh, Heal for the whole world wide web to read...or not.  But I took a deep breath and decided it was time to put myself out there.  I was a reporter many, many years ago and then later worked in communications.  Currently, I edit a newsletter about grief and thought that blogging could take this subject to the next level.

It means so much to me that you take time out of your day to read Cry, Laugh Heal.  Your support  -- and the constant support of my wonderful son, Ryan, --  is energizing and has helped me write over 100 posts, more than I ever expected.  I look forward to 2012 and cross my fingers that the number of my wonderful, fantastic, beautiful readers will continue to grow.  All I can say is:

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!