Kindness In a Me, Me, Me Culture

No matter what our age or place in life, we always remember the people who are kind.

 

For instance, during the homily of a friend's funeral, I found myself sitting by myself because I had a arrived a little late and my friends were in another part of the church.  As I listened to the beautiful words of the priest's eulogy, I put my head down as tears began to roll down my face.  I will never forget the simple gesture of the woman sitting next to me who gently put her hand on top of mine for a few minutes.

 

Simple acts of kindness remind us that we are all in this together and if we help each other out, it will go a little easier.  Plus, being kind makes you feel better about yourself.

 

There have been a lot of stories in the news recently about bullying.  Not just regular ole bullying that has been around since the beginning of time, but fierce, relentless, coldhearted bullying that continues to the point that the targeted person takes their own life.  I'm not going to go into all the factors that drive this new kind of bullying although I have my own theories. 

 

Kind behavior is not a show of weakness. Kindness and manners can be thought of as the same thing.

 

 

 

Which is essentially, acting on the idea that life is not all of about you or me.  Kindness is thinking beyond yourself to how the other person feels. 

 

You might not think being kind is important until you are on the other end of someone else's mean behavior to you.  And then, very quickly, you have a light bulb moment and you then probably get it.

 

According to Letitia Baldrige, who was Jacqueline Kennedy's chief of staff in the White House and America's number one best-selling authority on manners, when a child asks "Why do I have to be kind?" the answer should be careful but immediate.

 

Baldrige says that like a winning pitch in a baseball game, The Golden Rule should be tossed out as an answer whenever possible.  "The Golden Rule?", says the child.  "Why are you making such a big deal out of this?"

 

"Yes", says the parent.  "Here is The Golden Rule: Think how you would have felt if you were in his/her place and a stranger helped you -- just like that.  You'd be grateful!"

 

Baldrige advises to avoid nagging children about being kind or constantly using their good manners for that turns a positive into a negative.  "A child who is constantly told how bad or selfish he/she is will start to believe it and not care about the rewards of kind manners," Baldrige writes in her book, Letitia Baldrige's More Than Manners! 

 

Instead, whenever an opportunity presents itself to point out or make an editorial observation about someone else's kindness or good manners, you might say to the child, "Wasn't that great of him/her to do that?"  Or maybe, as the parent, you can show your child what it is like to pay it forward.

 

Holding the door for another person, saying hello, saying good-bye, keeping your mean thoughts to yourself, saying please, turning off or putting away your cellphone when someone is talking to you, helping a disabled person across the street.

 

It's a mad, mad, mad world out there sometimes and the little things, such as kindness and good manners, only take a few minutes to practice and they make life run so much smoother!

 

 

 

Strawberry Fields Forever

Once you have tasted a juicy strawberry, fresh, fresh, fresh from the local farm where it was grown, you will never want to eat another one of those grocery store strawberries (that are white inside) ever again.

 

For the second week in a row, strawberries were the star yesterday at the FRESH Farm Farmer's Market near the White House.  Beautiful, red, ripe strawberries were lined up in a row just waiting to be bought and eaten. 



Photo Courtesy of FRESH Farm Markets

I bought a huge amount of strawberries last week and so did a friend of mine from the office.  We did the same thing yesterday and it was great to chat up the guy from the farm who brought them to the market. 

Strawberries are great for you and are loaded with Vitamin C.  Also, the strawberry is among the top 20 fruits in antioxident capacity; you gotta love that!  Below is a recipe that was being handed out at the market and I thought I would share it with you:


Crepes With Local Strawberries
Shelley Horne, Home Cook & Farmer's Market Volunteer
www.freshfarmmarkets.org

3 eggs
3/4 cup flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk
2 tablespoons butter, melted
butter for skillet

Combine eggs, flour, salt and 1/4 cup milk in medium bowl; beat until smooth.  Beat in melted butter, then remaining milk.  Chill, covered, approximately 1 hour.

Slowly heat a small skillet (7-8 inch) until a drop of water sizzles.  Butter skillet lightly for first few crepes; after that it will be seasoned and crepes will not stick.  Use 2-3 tbsp batter for each crepe.  Pour batter into skillet all at once and swirl pan to coat bottom with a very thin layer.

Cook over medium heat until lightly browned (15-20 seconds); turn and brown other side.  Remove to plate; when cool, stack with foil between each crepe.  (Can be frozen and thawed just beofre using.)  Makes 12-16 crepes.

To serve, fold crepe in half and half again to form a triangle.  Top with sliced, fresh strawberries, then sprinkle with powdered sugar.

The above recipe is a yummy way to eat strawberries but if you're not in the mood to make crepes you can always pretend you are at Wimbledon: just slice the strawberries into a bowl and pour cream over them!

DOUBLE YUMMY!!!!!

White House Market Day Is Back!

The farmer's market near the White House is now open for business on Thursdays and I'm so happy that fresh fruits and veggies are close to my office for the picking.

 

 

I'm so proud of myself! I took these pics myself!

There was almost a party atmosphere as I arrived at the market today around 1 pm.  When I walked to the market area which is one block from the White House (www.freshfarmmarkets.org), there were almost 200 people shopping and sampling local produce.  People were spilling out of their office buildings, shaking off the cold weather, happy to be outside and become reaquainted with the farmers and other vendors they hadn't seen for months.

 

Browsing through the stalls today, I saw the season's freshest selections of kale, spring onions, baby cucumbers, leeks, beets, sweet potatoes and even some tomatoes.  I was really looking for strawberries but it is not yet their time.  I was told that it might be another week or two for ripe and juicy strawberries because Washington, DC had a bit of an unseasonable cold snap.

 

 

 

 

I came to the market for the opportunity to support local farmers and buy fresh produce but I also made a wonderful connection.  I was at the FRESHFARM Markets table looking for information about the vendors when a woman named Terry started chatting with me.  She asked if she could help me and I told her about Cry, Laugh, Heal and how I write about working through grief by trying to take care of yourself through exercise and eating healthy and generally staying resilient and positive.

 

She said she loved the name of the blog and she had experienced a time of laughing that turned into crying and then laughing again.

 

Terry said she was at a relative's funeral and this relative happened to be the kind of person who really liked playing jokes on people and making people laugh.  The person who got up to deliver the eulogy at her uncle's funeral walked to the front of the room to start talking.  Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on your point of view, the speaker's zipper on his pants was unzipped.

People in the audience tried to make signals to him that he needed to zip up his pants and in the process of signaling, people began to laugh.  But then in the laughing they remembered they were at a funeral.  And then they started crying a bit but then they also couldn't stop laughing because the speaker was oblivious to his zipper being open.

 

EXACTLY!!  That's what's so great about the FRESHFARM farmer's market.  Every week is an opportunity to meet new people and share our stories about crying or laughing or healing.

 

Today I'm so glad to have met Terry and know that the farmers' healing fruits and vegetables are just a couple of blocks away for me for the rest of the summer and early fall!

Rock on farmers!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Letitia Baldrige -- Classy & True

Letitia Baldrige

When I hear Letitia Baldrige's name, it makes me sit up straighter and try to be better behaved.

Baldrige, 86, was a walking encylopedia on what to do and what not to do in social situations and with her passing last week comes the unofficial closure on a time in American life when class and sophistication counted for something.  Also known as "Tish," Baldrige became a public name when she worked in the White House as chief of staff and social secretary to First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy. After her years at the White House, Baldrige then forged a high-profile and very successful career as an author and top executive in corporate life, selling milllions of books on manners, business conduct and human behavior.

Baldrige also achieved additional notoriety when she landed on the cover of Time magazine which called her "the leading arbiter of manners."

Unfortunately, the practice of good manners today is not very important and I see evidence of it every day no matter where I go. Rudeness is met with more rudeness and no one seems embarrassed by their bad behavior. People ask questions of strangers that are none of their business or people feel free to comment to strangers on what they might be wearing, eating or doing.  Why do we care about doing and acting a certain way when we are with others?  Because good manners smooth out life's rough edges and make it possible for all of us to work, socialize and just get along.

Good manners serve as guideposts, if you will, and help everyone know what is expected of them in certain situations.  From funerals and baby showers to weddings and christenings, knowing some of the basics of social editquette can help you feel comfortable when you find yourself in unfamiliar territory.

"For every rude executive who makes it to the top," she wrote in her "Complete Guide to Executive Manners" (1985), one of her numerous and popular guides to navigating social situations, "there are nine successful executives with good manners."

Don't ever doubt the power of saying a sincere "I'm sorry" to someone you know who has suffered a loss or making sure to say the magic words of "please" "thank you" and "excuse me."

Those words will never go out of style.

 

Pleasant Pops

As many times as I have been to the FRESHFARM markets near the White House to treat myself to the real flavors (or the real flava as my friends like to joke) of the farm fresh produce, I have never tried a Pleasant Pop.  Usually I set a certain amount of money to spend on the beautiful seasonal fruits and veggies sold each week by the local farmers and when the money's gone, so am I. 

But today, it was 95 degrees and I didn't go crazy on the tomatoes so I decided to join the line in front of the Pleasant Pop stand and check them out.  I know it's only a pop but part of healing is nourishing yourself with fresh food and an ice pop is better than a cookie.  I know you agree!!

Right away, I knew these pops were not like the heavy sugary orange, cherry and grape popscicles that I grew up on.  Handwritten on the chalkboard in front of the traveling freezer were the following flavors: blueberry pancake, cucumber chile, basil lemonade and strawberry ginger lemonade.

 

Courtesy of Pleasant Pops

  

I asked the guy selling the pops which pop was the lowest in calories and he said they all were under 100 calories and mostly in the neighborhood of 75 to 80 calores each.  I ordered a strawberry ginger lemonade which he said that was their most popular flavor.  He told me the flavors change depending on what fruits are in season and since peaches were begining to ripen there may be a peach flavored pop next week.

It tasted delicious, fresh and light and not sugary at all; an adult popscicle.  The strawberry ginger lemonade definitely lived up to its name: it was pleasant and refreshing.

What is Pleasant Pops doing at the FRESHFARM market you may ask?  Just as fruits and vegetables picked in season taste best because they are fresh, so to do the Pleasant Pops.  According to the company's website, Pleasant Pops was started in 2009 and the company partners and buy all of its fruits, herbs and milk from local DC area farmers.  The pops are original creations inspired by paletas, a traditional ice pop from the central Mexican state of Michoacan.

So if you travel to Washington, DC this summer and you need to cool off, catch the flava and check out a farmers market and Pleasant Pops for youself.

 

To market, To market

Photo by katieleekitchen

If it's Thursday, then it must be White House Farmer's Market Day!

Beautiful, juicy strawberries, freshly washed pesticide-free kale and farm grown tomatoes were all lined up on the tables today and looking fabulous.  It's a treat for me to get out of the office and feel the warm welcoming sun on my face as I walk the four blocks to the market, one of the city's many farmer's markets where people can consistently find unlimited and natural nutrients.

Today there was a new vendor.  I didn't see the name of the farm but I believe it was located somewhere in Pennsylvania because the people working the stand were Amish and not surprisingly, the line was long.  The Amish have a well deserved reputation for fresh delicious homemade or homegrown foods.  Today they were grilling what looked like red and yellow peppers and onions to accompany other grilled meats brought in from their farm.

I try to go to the market every week because I have learned over the past few years that eating fresh and raw fruits and vegetables is invaluable for a healthy mind and body.  Nourishment is essential to healing just as plenty of sleep is.  When you are dealing with an emotional crisis, the last thing you need to put in your body is processed foods loaded with chemicals and other stuff you can't pronounce.  You body can't get any energy or re-charge itself off those foods.

Tomatoes and kale were my big purchases for the day and then I walked around to see what the other vendors were offering.  Baby squash, spring onions and lots of varieties of lettuces just picked from the farm were among the popular items for sale.  Then there were other vendors who are not farmers who sell their products featuring local seasonal ingredients and they lend a festive tone to the market: the popscicle man whose pops are made from natural juices, a baker who sells different varieties of breads and a flower person selling bunches of seasonal flowers overflowing in tin can containers.

It's a community happening just a block from the White House and I can't wait to buy more goodies next week!

Seize the Freshest of May

Yeah!!! The FRESHFARM Market by the White House opened yesterday for its summer/fall season and the freshest and greenest produce was on its' best behavior sitting in beautiful baskets just begging to be bought, tossed, grilled and eaten.

It's too early in the season for my favorite farm grown tomatoes, but yesterday's vendors showed off plenty of fresh salad greens, asparagus, kale, bean sprouts and other seasonal crops for urban workers to choose from along with coloful freshcut flowers and cookies and breads.

I could feel the beginnings of summer as I walked from my office to the farmer's market: warm sun, the smell of freshly cut grass and tossed mulch and a general feeling of relief in the air that winter is finally behind us, not to be seen for many months.

I love going to the farmer's market because I feel I'm rewarding my body and my inner chickness by eating foods grown from local farms.  I still buy from grocery stores but it's not the same since some of its produce could have been irradiated or waxed in transit. 

It can be a little bit more expensive so I don't buy a whole week's worth of produce but what I do buy is tasty and real.  Most food found at the farmers market is minimally processed, and many of the farmers try to grow the most nutritious produce possible by building their soil's fertility without the use of pesticides.  The fruits and veggies harvested from their soil nourishes those who eat the farm's home grown products, namely me.

Veggies are the name of the game and I am always trying to incorporate more of them into my diet or trying to find a new way to cook the veggies I already find delicious.  Eating raw and organic fresh food brings my body the nutrients it needs to fight stress (ugh!) and aging (hate that!).  Today's mantra is: the more I take care of my body the less I have to worry about getting sick or lying in a hospital.  Caring for your body and its good health is not being selfish; it is responsible and smart.

Farmer's markets are beginning to open everywhere, so please check out the following produce lists.  The  "Clean Fifteen" list put together by the Environmental Working Group is food grown with the least amount of pesticides, ranked from best to not-great:

1. Onion
2. Avocado
3. Sweet corn
4. Pineapple
5. Mango
6. Asparagu
7. Sweet peas
8. Cabbage
10. Eggplant
11. Papaya
13. Broccoli
14. Tomato
15. Sweet potato

The "Dirty Dozen" list, also compiled by the Environmental Working Group, is foods grown with the most pesticides, ranked from worst to less bad:

1. Peach
2. Apple
3. Bell Pepper
4. Celery
5. Nectarine
6. Strawberries
7. Cherries
8. Kale
9. Lettuce
10. Grapes (imported)
11. Carrot
12. Pear

For more information about the lists, log on to EWG's web site at foodnews.org or ewg.org

Nourish Your Soul

The Summer 2011 issue of Flavor magazine features a cover story on Sam Kass, assistant chef at the White House.  The story, written by former New York Times and Washington Post staff reporter Marion Burros, discusses how Kass changed the way the Obama family eats.  By cooking wholesome local and seasonal foods for the Obama family during the presidential campaign and now in the White House kitchen, Kass  made it a priority to demonstrate the powerful connection between good food and healthy bodies.

Think of your body as the BANK OF YOU and fresh fruits and veggies as nutritional deposits towards your balance of continued good health.  Put simply, you really and truly are what you eat.

Just as cancer patients change their diets to build up their immune systems, people who are grieving need to be sensitive to eating regularly and eating well.  If your spouse, partner or child recently died, it's perfectly normal that cooking may be the last thing you want to do.  Cooking for one person poses different problems than cooking for a family.  Children have a tendency to continually tell you how hungry they are until you throw something together and put it on the table for them to eat.  But if you are by yourself and you're hungry, a box of Wheat Thins can be considered a meal.  Not the greatest thing but it's easy and no dishes are involved.  Eating alone can also be just one more thing to remind you of your loss.  A good friend of mine who lost her husband six years ago says the dinner hour is still the hardest time of the day for her.

Your appetite has changed during this sad time, so it's essential for you to take good care of yourself as you try to build back your strength.  Your emotions are all over the place and you need time to adjust.  Grieving is not a disease but it is stressful.  You have suddenly lost someone you care about very much and you're feeling vulnerable.  You have a lot of decisions to make and you're feeling the weight of all of it.

You may be tempted to turn to other substances for help but please don't look to pills or other drugs for relief.  This is definitely not the time to turn to alcohol, cigarettes or drugs to dull the effects of stress or pain.  Alcohol and drugs will temporarily numb you, but when their effects wear off you will have a much harder time working through your grief and then you may find yourself in a vicious cycle.  Alcohol, cigarettes and drugs take you backwards and downward and delay the time when you eventually will be forced to confront the pain of your loss.

You deserve better: foods full of nutrition, sleep and exercise.  According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, summertime favorites like watermelon, red grapes, raspberries and figs are packed with valuable nutrients that will help keep you youthful and energized.  No matter where you live in the United States, there's always something ripe to eat when the weather turns hot. 

A junk food binge is okay every now and then but watch out if junk or fast food is your regular diet.  My feeling is you have to indulge sometimes and eat something sugary or fatty as a treat to yourself.  But a regular diet of fast foods or frozen foods isn't going to give you the punch of nutrients you need now to rebuild your life.  Although I know some people who would argue that Stouffer's lasgna can give you courage as well as comfort.

Courtesy of Stouffer's

I totally sympathize with the convenience factor of food found in the frozen section of the grocery store.  It causes me to fall off the healthy food wagon a lot.  It's an ongoing battle.  I recently had a stressful day and found myself eating a half gallon of lemon sorbet.  Okay, I know it's piggy.  I didn't plan to eat the whole container of sorbet.   I would say somewhere around the halfway mark of the carton I knew I had reached the point of no return.  That little voice inside me said I should stop, yet I couldn't.  It was a really hot day and the sorbet was slushy and tart.  The next thing I knew my spoon hit the bottom of the carton.  No way!  How did that happen?

Since the bust of that bad food party, I will carry on as we all must:  Let's be kind to ourselves and start fresh from where we are right now and move forward.  Guilt about past junk or fast food deposits into the BANK OF YOU are not productive.  Think good, fresh food and healthy bodies.

Summer In The City

FRESHFARM Markets Photo

One of my favorite things about summer is the food.  Summer food is the BEST!!!  The tomatoes, the corn on the cob, melons, peaches and berries.  I could go on and on.  Everything is so fresh and so flavorful.

One of the places where I find a great supply of summer food is at a Farmer's Market near my office that is also about two blocks from the White House.  We call it Michelle Obama's Farmer's Market because the first year the Obamas were in the White House, First Lady Michelle Obama, as part of her nutrition campaign to get Americans to eat healthier foods, walked across the street to pick out some fruits and veggies for her family.  Naturally, the market got a lot of attention and because of it's prime location you can never be sure when she might visit again!

The FRESHFARM Markets is made up of about a dozen vendors and they sell farm fresh fruits and produce along with flowers, home made breads, home made cheeses, and home made popsicles in exotic flavors such as strawberry ginger lemonade and vanilla honey lavender.  Today, the smell of the peaches was incredible.  I bought some tomatoes and my friend bought peaches.

Besides the delicious produce, you also get a chance to chat up the farmers who grow the food.  They are always ready to talk about the best ways to cook the foods they are selling and how they grew it.  It's all part of the community of vendors who come together every week in this part of the city to promote the unique taste of food grown in the Chesapeake Bay region and expose people to fresh food they might not be able to grow for themselves.

Not only do we feel we're supporting the farmers when we walk down the street to buy their fresh products but we're also doing something healthy for ourselves.  And when you've been sitting in front of a computer for most of the day that's always a good thing!