A Touching Moment at CVS

I was in the CVS near my office a few days, popping in to buy something for an officemate.

I was buying only one item so I stood in the self-checkout line.

But then the regular line opened up.  A young African American woman behind the cash register waved for me to come on over to her register so I did.

As she scanned my CVS discount card and my purchase, her eyes looked at the pearl necklace I had on.  Since her hands were full, she tilted her head in my direction.

"I like your pearl necklace."

"Thank you!  I found it at a fair that a local church was having."

"It reminds me of my mother.  She passed four months ago and she loved pearls."  Then she put down the scanner and gently touched her ears, pointing out the pierced pearl earrings she was wearing.  I knew exactly what she meant for we all have special things that we keep because they remind us of someone we cared for deeply or someone we miss more than we can express.

"My Mom gave these to me and now I see your necklace and I'm thinking of her."

"Ohhhhh," I said.  "I am so sorry."

Her eyes started to tear up and then she added, "Yes.  I miss her a lot."

My eyes were getting teary too.  I wanted to talk more to her but now others were waiting.

I looked directly at her and said, "I know she is with you."

"Thank you," she said quietly wiping her face.

We looked at each other and then I had to leave her line.

It only takes a minute, I thought to myself, not much time at all, to share in another person's journey.

All I have to do is stop and make time to listen.

Crunch Time

As a single parent, I can feel myself entering that time of year every parent knows as "crunch time."

The end of the school year is upon us and that always means that something that should have been done earlier in the school year and was forgotten or postponed now suddenly has to be done.  Everyone knows exactly when the school year ends and is starting to count the days until they can be free of homework and enjoy summer.

Whether it's a term paper, an art project, extra credit to try and raise a grade or a presentation of some sort, all of these school demands are careening into each other and if you as the parent don't play traffic cop with these assignments, then they will all end up as messy as a five car crash with at least one of your children in the middle of it having a crying or yelling fit.

Throw into that mix a birthday party or two or a prom and your stress level is reaching new heights.

A lot of this is supposed to be fun and depending on the age of your child, a lot of this is also your child's responsibility.  But that doesn't help eliminate the tension between you and your child.  It may not be your school assignment, but you still know that something's due or at least that it needs to be worked on.

I am reaching the end of the school journey with my son graduating from college in May but I vividly remember the late nights and lost sleep because we were trying to fit everything in to the last weeks of the school year.

For all of you parents out there doing double duty, here are some stress busters:

-- Find Harmony.  It may be impossible to find a quiet room so you may have to go into the bathroom and just lock the door to temporarily escape the chaos for at least 10 minutes.  With your eyes partially closed, focus on your breathing and repeat the same word or phrase over and over again--like "um" or "one" or my favorite, "chocolate."  The process of repeating the same word will help clear your mind and relax your breathing and your inner parent.

--Get Moving.  Cortisol is a hormone released from the adrenal gland in times of stress such as when you are feeling anxiety or fear.  Guess what?  Exercise burns cortisol and makes you a happier and healthier Mom or Dad.  Walk or march in place as you are making those late night brownies that your child promised for their class' end-of-the-year picnic.

--Laugh It Off.  Crunch time can bring out everyone's dramatic side.  Laughing reduces anxiety tension and stress.  Try to find the lighter side as you are driving to a 24-hour CVS at midnight to buy CDs that have to be burned TONIGHT!  You can buy some M&Ms for yourself to eat in the car on the way back home so you don't fall asleep.  Remember, school will soon be over and months from now you won't be able to catch your breath when you tell the CVS story to your friends.

Right?

Calgon, Take Me Away

The world around us can be dynamic and sometimes intense.

If channeled in a positive direction, being around people who are intense and dynamic or situations that are dynamic and intense can be a good thing; even a great thing.  It can be the fuel that gets the creative juices started and sometimes can bring about breakthroughs or solutions in otherwise stuck situations.

But if you are already feeling overloaded or overwhelmed by being the single parent (either widowed or divorced) who works full-time, takes care of the house, the children and the finances, then maybe for your own sake it's time to take a temporary break from the strong emotions and go far away from the madding crowd.

You can probably feel that you are getting close to blowing a gasket as in "if one more person comes to me with a problem, I think I will loose it." 

That "I've had enough" feeling reminds me of a popular commercial for bath salts that ran on television many, many years ago.  The commercial would show the average stressful day in a woman's life and then you would hear the tag line of "Calgon, take me away."  Next you would see a bath tub full of bubbles, inviting the viewer to run to the store and buy a box of Calgon for inner peace.

I think there's something to this drugstore remedy because the thing that you might really like to do to relax is either too expensive, illegal or maybe both.  It's important for single parents to make themselves a priority and take care of themselves just as well as they take care of others.  I think I can definitely spring for a box of Calgon and turn off the phone and the computer.

CVS, you better be open late tonight!

Electronic Meltdown

Yesterday was a day from electronic hell.  Every time I turned around some piece of equipment in the office needed attention.

Don't you just hate it when computers, cell phones, blackberries and xerox machines misbehave? 

I don't consider myself a tekkie kind of person at all.  I don't feel any desire to stand in line when I know Apple is going to be selling a new iPhone or a new iPad.  I am open to learning new things about electronic devices but I'm not very happy about it.  I'm of the mind that if it's working and it's doing everything that you want why does it have to change?

It just doesn't make sense to me how a computer can be working fine -- receiving and sending emails, printing out documents and all the other things that computers do -- and then the next day you walk in, log on and your toolbars are missing.  I usually know how to figure some of this out myself but not always.

My computer wasn't monopolizing all of the mischief.  The charger to the Blackberry wouldn't work so I went to Radio Shack to see if they had another one.  Thank goodness Radio Shack had them in stock but I also need a converter so I could charge a cellphone we sometimes use overseas.  Of course, Radio Shack was out of those and wouldn't get them in again for weeks.  Try CVS, the Radio Shack guy said.  So I did.  Wouldn't you know it?  CVS had the converters and they only cost $3.99.  Yeah!!!!

I'm the kind of person who turns something off because I think it needs to "rest."  I don't think that's such a crazy idea.  When I've been using the xerox machine and copying reams of documents, I can feel the machine starting to warm up.  Don't you think it's the machine's way of telling me it needs to take a break?  I do and I talk to the xerox machine as in, "Please don't jam.  This is a really important job!"

It's the little things in life that can make you happy.  I like to think that my computer and cell phone and I are all part of the same team, working together to get things done, not falling apart and needing attention.  So listen up all you electronics -- behave yourselves and do what you are supposed to do.  PLEASE?????!!!!!!