Holiday Mash-Up

In music, mashups are when a performer or group combines the instrumentals of one song with the vocals of another song and then the mashup, or blending if you will, is played as a new song.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it flops.

 

In retail, this is the time of year for practicing what I think of as a huge marketing mash-up.  Stores no longer wait for one holiday to almost happen and then stock the shelves with the decorations or products for the next holiday.  There is no longer any retail restraint with regard to holidays; it's just throw it all out there at any time and let the calendar be damned.

 

I guess if I made a living in retail I would understand this "go for broke" philosophy.  Most stores are counting on shoppers during the holiday season to help them rack up profits for the year but the holiday marketing mashup makes it awfully hard for those who have lost a loved one and are using all their strength to emotionally keep it together.

 

Christmas decorations are on the shelves in October, Thanksgiving table decorations are on sale in September and Halloween candy can be found next to August's displays for school supplies.  It's confusing to know what time of the year it is if I'm using stores as a seasonal guide.

 

Since most of the retail rules got kicked to the curb, I'm suggesting a few things for those who are particularly emotionally vulnerable the holiday season.  If you are able to embrace the holidays in all their magic and wonder then good for you!! I congratulate you on your good luck and I hope that no matter what holidays you celebrate that you have the best holidays ever!!

 

But for people who are newly widowed or have lost a child, a relative or a friend, the holidays are filled with memories and expectations.  And this is where the marketing mashup causes problems.

 

Memories, yes, are wonderful, and I feel blessed to have some great memories of my late husband but I know from personal experience and also from conversations with those who have experienced a loss that as much as you steel yourself for the celebration of religious and traditional holidays, you only have enough emotional energy to deal with them one at a time.  Holiday reminders thrown at you all at the same time can put you into emotional overload which is not what you want at all.

 

Your life has changed and it's important to take care of you.  There is no requirement that you celebrate your holidays the way that you always did when your loved one was alive.  If you haven't already, talk to your family and friends about what you want to do over the holidays.  If traditions and time honored routines give you comfort, then please continue with the ones you feel you need and want to keep.   If you want to create new traditions, then you should feel free to celebrate in a new way.

 

Holidays are a highly charged time of year and you deserve to find a healing zone within these months of eating, drinking and making merry. 

Trust your  instincts.  It's best for your mental and physical well being to take the holidays at your own pace and celebrate in your own way, not a mashed up, commercial version of what Madison Avenue thinks you should do.
 

Buddy The Elf

A baby boy crawls into Santa's satchel of presents and travels back with him to the North Pole.....

 

So begins the wonderful story of "Elf," a classic Christmas movie which captures the spirit of innocence and hope.  If you've never see "Elf," I highly recommend it.

 

With a new year right around the corner, there is no reason for us to abandon the uplifting feeling of the holidays just because Christmas and Hanukkah are over.

 

 

 

Comedian Will Ferrell as Buddy the Elf

 

I have watched "Elf" many times when it it isn't even close to the holiday season just because it makes me laugh and reminds me that my outlook on life is my choice.  Sometimes I do get caught up in the negative aspects of every day life and forget that it's essential to keep it simple and believe that tomorrow will be better.

 

I won't go as far as Buddy and believe "that there is always room for everyone on the nice list" but I can choose to keep a "holiday spirit" with me if I want and carry it around to feel any day of the week, any time of the year. 

 

Comedian Will Ferrell, a veteran of "Saturday Night Live," plays Buddy the Elf perfectly!  Every time I watch the movie, I never doubt that Buddy truly is one of Santa's elves.  One of Buddy's charms is his love of singing and his belief that singing -- even if you make up the song as you go along -- will make you and everyone else around feel better and more hopeful.

 

Buddy's sweet philosophy is essentially this: "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear."  And he practices it as much as he can.

 

Now, really think about it.  When was the last time you sang out loud?  When was the last time you sang in the shower?  When was the last time you sang along to a song while in the car?  That you sang a song while you were just walking around?

 

Don't get me wrong.  I am not ignoring the realities of life.  I see the problems and stresses that I need to deal with and as I get older those problems have become more complicated.  But I also know that finding the humor in life or singing a song to myself or just being silly about a situation can help me momentarily rise above the tensions and perhaps help me find a solution, even if it's only short-term.

 

"Elf" is also about developing a childlike sense of humor. Not in an annoying, repetitive, selfish way but developing the ability to see the silly side of things in life. Humor helps me get through ordinary hassles and feel less stressed.

 

If 2012 has taught me nothing else, it has shown me and proved to me over and over is that I can only change myself and the way that I react to life and its unpredictable situations. 

 

I can be negative or I can be positive and being positive gives me the resolve and extra boost I often need to face the day!

 

Holiday Survival Tips

 

Finding Inner Peace During the Holiday Season

 

Whether it's Thanksgiving, Christmas or Hanukkah, the holiday season is filled with lots of conflicting memories and overwhelming expectations.

 

Let's be real: There is no such thing as a perfect holiday.

 

There is only the holiday that you create yourself and celebrate, hopefully with people you care about and people who also care about you. 

 

The size of the decorations, the cost of the decorations, the number of parties, the quantity of food and alcohol and the amount of presents has nothing to do with the happiness you may or may not feel during this time of year.

 

For people who are newly widowed or who have lost a child, a parent, a friend or a relative, the idea of being without that person during the holidays is incredibly painful.  Please accept my sympathies.  I am truly sorry for your loss.

 

I'm really not sure why I didn't fall totally and completely apart during the first holiday season after my husband's death.  I think I was too numb to feel anything and I also give a lot of the credit to my son who was only 13 years old at the time.  Somehow we, along with family and friends, kept going and we got through it, discovering an inner strength we didn't know we had.

 

Although I do have to admit that there were many times that I could not listen to the constant playing of Christmas music in the house, in the car and in stores.  I did find the music hard to bear and had to separate myself from it a lot.

 

In the hopes of helping others who are trying to figure out how they can get through the holidays while dealing with the loss of a loved one, here are some timely tips from the Hospice Foundation of America that may make this holiday season a bit easier for you:

 

-- Do what is comfortable;

 

-- Plan for the approaching holidays.  Be aware that this might be a difficult time for you.  The additional stress may affect you emotionally, cognitively, and physically; this is a normal reaction.  It is important to prepare for these things.

 

-- Take care not to drink alcohol ( a central nervous system depressant) in excess, overeat (which bring fatigue), or overwork.

 

-- Avoid spending more than you like simply because it is expected.  Buying smaller gifts or giving the gift of time are important options to consider.  Feel good about not going into debt.

 

-- Recognize that holidays won't be the same.  If you try to keep everything as it was, you'll be disappointed.  Doing things a bit differently can acknowledge the change while preserving continuity with the past.

 

-- Be careful not to isolate yourself.  It's alright to take time for yourself but don't cut yourself off from the support of family and friends.

 

-- The holidays may affect other family members.  Talk over your plans.  Respect their choices and needs, and compromise if necessary.

 

-- Avoid additional stress.  Decide what you really want to do, and what can be avoided. 

 

-- Find the way that is right for you.

 

You are loved and you are not alone.  Ever.