Heaven

There's a place where we all want to end up. 

We know it by name but where is it?  Where is Heaven?

I was thinking about Heaven yesterday while attending the wake of a man who was one of my father's best friends.

This man was a good man, worked hard, had a wonderful wife and children and tried to do his best for others.  I'm sure he is in Heaven, wherever that is.

I'm also sure that other people that I knew and loved are in Heaven: my husband, all of my grandparents, my aunt and uncles and some friends.

I believe in Heaven but the idea of not knowing where it is nags at me.  It's a concept that rolls around in my head.  Maybe it is up above us, waaay up above us, but who knows? And what do they do there?  I imagine that people in Heaven are different ages, not the age they were when they died, and that they do things that they loved such as playing baseball, or having parties or being at the beach.

 

This is my idea of Heaven

 

I also like to think that they are with us and try to guide and help us.

I think not knowing where your loved one is located is one of the big frustrations about grief.  You are physically cut off from a loved one when they die and there's no way to find out where they are or even how they are doing.

Is it asking too much to know these things?  I don't think so.

I think it's the least they could do after leaving us.  They should at least call, email or text us about what's going on with them.  They must know that we wonder.  They must know that we think about them all the time.

People who have had near death experiences have described what has happened to them and that is probably the closest we will come to finding out what Heaven is all about.

A lot of people talk about seeing a bright light and also seeing people they know.  Katie Couric aired an episode on her daytime show addressing the subject of Heaven and interviewed people who had been through traumatic experiences and spoke of going to heaven and then coming back to their lives.  In an interview Katie Couric did with Dr. Mary Neal, Neal describes being trapped underwater for  15 minutes and losing consciousness.  Neals' description of heaven is of a place filled with love, a love we have not felt here.

Maybe your ideas about Heaven are completely different.  Please share if your thoughts if you would like to!

Here is the link to the Katie Couric interviews with Dr. Mary Neal and others:

http://www.katiecouric.com/on-the-show/2012/10/08/to-heaven-and-back/

Blessed Easter

Have A Blessed Easter

"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure of heart,
for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called children of God.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Gospel of St. Matthew 5:3-10

Good Karma

Photo by Eileen Milner

I am not a Buddhist but I do believe in karma.  Building up good karma in the great big 'ole universe of spirituality reminds me of what Catholics think of as corporal and spiritual works of mercy.  Karma is the universal law of cause and effect.  Most people try to do good deeds because it makes them feel they have helped someone else and also because it's the right thing to do.  When it comes to doing bad things, we all try our best to minimize the bad karma we put out there.  It sounds so simple yet it's not.  I think about my reactions to those who annoy me and to those who fray my patience.  No bad karma out there, riggghhhttt? (I'm breathing and thinking peaceful thoughts).

Buddhists believe that karma is the result of our own past actions and our own present doings.  We ourselves are responsible for our own happiness and misery.  We create our own Heaven.  We create our own Hell.  We are the architects of our own fate.  That's a lot of responsibility, right?

His Holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama, says there are 20 things that you can do to get good karma and build a happier and more fulfilling life.  Here you go:

1.  Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2.  When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

3.  Follow the three R's: Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions.

4.  Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5.  Learn the rules so you know how to break them.

6.  Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.

7.  When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8.  Spend some time alone every day.

9.  Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good honorable life.  Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation.  Don't bring up the past.

14. Share your  knowledge.  It is a way to achieve immortality.

15.  Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

17.  Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18.  Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19.  If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.

20.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

There Is A Season (Turn, Turn,Turn)

"Turn! Turn! Turn!," a classic pop song performed by the Byrds in the 1960's, has been playing in my mind recently.  The music was written by Pete Seeger and the lyrics were adapted from the Book of Ecclesiastes.

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)

There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)

And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

Maybe it's the change in seasons dovetailing with graduations, weddings, engagements and milestone birthdays, but it feels as though the times, they are a changin'.

A time to be born, a time to die,

A time to plant, a time to reap

A time to kill, a time to heal

A time to laugh, a time time to weep

My relatives and friends are transitioning into new chapters in their lives and it's exciting to watch as the occasions are marked with "pomp and circumstance," rings and vows and lots and lots of birthday candles.

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)

There is a season (Turn, Turn,Turn)

And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

These events also remind me that life doesn't wait for you to get yourself together.  Whether you're ready or not, it's going to "keep on keeping on" and that's just the way that it is.

 

As a friend of my husband's used to say, "Life is not a dress rehearsal.  It's the real deal baby."

 

There are going to be many times when you need to take a break from the daily rush of life's activities after you have lost a loved one.  You'll need that break to evaluate what's happened, and slowly rebuild something new for yourself.  There may be many people who are uncomfortable with your grieving and want you to "get back to normal."

 

But guess what? 

 

There is no "normal" and you're not on anyone else's schedule.  No matter where you are in the process, you'll find that life is still out there waiting for you to jump back in and join it again.

A time to build up, a time to break down

A time to dance, a time to mourn

A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

You will always have your memories.  No one can change those for you.  It is important to hold onto them but not in an obsessive way.  Sadness may still exist for you, but with time you will gain more control over your emotions and become more confident about which way to go.

To Everything (Turn,Turn, Turn)

There is a season (Turn, Turn,Turn)

And a time to every purpose, under Heaven