Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Falling in love and being loved is just so oh-la-la isn't it?

May your heart expand today with the joy of being with your Valentine or having great memories of a special Valentine who may no longer be with you.

I'm sending this song out today to Valentines around the globe:

Way To Go

It's Fabulous, Fantastic, Friday and I know you are as happy about this as I am!

 

By the end of the work week, everyone needs a nice pat on the back.

 

Try saying one nice thing, one kind thing to someone you know or even a stranger

 and see what happens...............

JOY!!!
 

A Pope of Hope

From Southern Maryland to Northern Virginia, everywhere I went this past weekend people were talking about Pope Francis and his  recent groundbreaking remarks about the state of the Catholic Church.

 

Pope Francis, you are a healing breath of fresh air and you arrived on the global scene just when we needed to listen your joyous and merciful outlook on life!!

It was amazing to me that people spontaneously brought it up in conversation no matter what else was previously being talked about.  I find religion is sometimes discussed at social events but not very often.  And in Washington, DC, rarely do I ever hear Washington Redskins and Pope Francis brought up in almost consecutive sentences but this weekend it happened and I think this it's due to the hopeful and honest nature of what Pope Francis said in an interview with an Italian Jesuit magazine that was published last week in Jesuits magazines around the world. 

At a party I attended yesterday, Catholics and non-Catholics enthusiastically discussed the subject of Pope Francis, saying how much they liked him, how exciting he was and how they wished they had some one like him in their particular faiths.

 

For most people, it was Pope Francis' comment about sinning that kicked the door open and got their attention.  In the interview Pope Francis was asked "Who is Jorge Mario Bergoglio?"  In a thoughtful manner Pope Francis replies: "I do not know what might be the most fitting description. . . I am a sinner.  This is the most accurate definition.  It is not a figure of speech, a literary genre.  I am a sinner."

 

Really and truly?

 

Okay Pope Francis that immediately bonds me to you because I am a sinner too.  But people are blown away because this is the first time most people have ever heard a Pope publicly tell others that he sins also.  Usually there is the distinct feeling that we are the sinners but the Pope does not commit sin.  This time, it is as though Pope Francis opens his arms and says to us, "I am just like you.  We are all the same in our humanity."

 

 

America Magazine Issue with Pope Francis Interview

You can read the full interview with Pope Francis on the website for America Magazine (www.americamagazine.org), a national Catholic weekly magazine published by Jesuits in the United States.

 

Read for yourself the thoughtful and insightful way that Pope Francis discusses a wide range of subjects that touches all of our lives and issues that we all wrestle with.

 

For me, my Catholic faith is essential and goes to the core of my being but in the past decade or two I have turned a deaf ear to many things being said by the Catholic hierarchy.  That said, here are two other comments Pope Francis made in his interview that were particularly open and refreshing and signal to me a much needed change in the thinking of the Church:

 

--"I see clearly that the thing the church needs most today is the ability to heal wounds and to warm the hearts of the faithful; it needs nearness, proximity.  I see the church as a field hospital after battle.  It is useless to ask a seriously injured person if he has high cholesterol and about the level of his blood sugars!  You have to heal the wounds.  Then we can talk about everything else.  Heal the wounds, heal the wounds. . . And you have to start from the from the ground up."

 

--"The woman is essential for the church.  Mary, a woman, is more important than the bishops. I say this because we must not confuse the function with the dignity.  We must therefore investigate further the role of women in the church.  We must work harder to develop a profound theology of the woman."

 

Your Dad Is Here

I see my husband in my son in small ways:  the way he rolls up his long sleeved shirts, the set of his jaw when he is annoyed or determined to do something he really wants to accomplish and the way he plays chicken with his car's gas tank and won't fill it up until it is almost empty.

When I see those traits it is bittersweet: they make me laugh and but they also make me feel a little sad and wistful.    "He is still with us," I think to myself.  My husband had a very strong personality so I am not surprised that I see some of him in our son.  It's just when those quirky things appear, they always have a way of taking me by surprise.

 

 

 

My thoughts today are with fathers and the important role they play in their children's lives.  While my son's father died nine years ago, I appreciate the important role he played in our young son's life and how his influence can still be felt today.

 

Please read the timely story below which I found on the insightful website, Hello Grief (www.hellogrief.org).  The author, Abigail Carter, sweetly reminds us of the importance of Dads everywhere; the ones who are with us today and the ones that we forever hold in our hearts.

 

Happy Father's Day!

 

 

 

Every Day is Father’s Day

By Abigail Carter
June 8, 2010 

Father’s Day never held much importance for our family until the death of my husband, Arron, father of our two young children.

 

The day usually began with a childish command for him to stay in bed so he could be the lucky recipient of a sticky tray of burnt pancakes and watery coffee, and be handed a construction paper card with “I lov you dady,” in bright red crayon, or a popsicle stick picture frame with a blurry Polaroid of a proud pre-schooler.

 

Later in the day, as he jiggled the kids around on the heavy metal lumber cart at Home Depot, I refrained from my usual “step away from the power tools,” and allowed him to run amuck, our list of supplies forgotten in his pocket. For dinner I would make one of his favorites – chicken stew, or if the weather was nice, a steak grilled on the BBQ and a glass of wine after the kids were in bed.

 

Our first Father’s Day after his death was spent in the company of several other widows on a deserted New Jersey Shore beach watching our children romp around in the waves or play in the sand, wishing we had the ability to play so freely, wishing we could have our old lives back. The male volunteers who grilled hot dogs for lunch just seemed to add salt to our wounds.

 

The days and weeks afterward were spent in a heightened state of agitation to which we were oblivious – fighting, frustrated, exhausted – until someone pointed out how difficult Father’s Day must have been. Finally able to connect the dots between the day and the aggression that had settled upon my family, the black moods eventually dissipated, at least until the next event that needed to braced for, like one of the kid’s birthdays, or another wedding anniversary. Year two was a repeat of year one, the bracing, the beach, the fatherless kids, the male volunteers, the loneliness, the anger, the exhaustion.

 

Friends and family, while well-meaning often added to the stress, building the potential heart-break of the day by calling to offer sad Happy Father’s Day wishes, or to offer to take the kids away, thinking that what they needed was to spend time with a man, one that was usually someone else’s father.

 

There was another year, the year I picked my son up from Pre-K after his class had been busy making presents for their fathers, and when we got into the car, he threw the present at me, something square wrapped in emerald green tissue paper. “Who am I going to give this to?” He yelled. “All the other kids have dads and I don’t!” In one day, with the realization that he was not like all the other kids, he had gone from a sad child to an angry one – anger that eight years later is only beginning to dissipate.

 

For many widows with children, Father’s Day creeps up and pounces on us. Sometimes we just anticipate it with dread – more glaring evidence of what we have lost. Everyone (not just widows) tries to celebrate the day in some meaningful way, trying to honor that special Dad. Newspapers and television ads are filled with things we are meant to buy, sentiments we are meant to feel. There is so much pressure to ‘honor” our loved one properly, even when they are alive, but no one seems quite sure how to go about doing so.

 

We have tried a variety of different activities on Father’s Day. Things my husband would have enjoyed: bike rides in the park, planting a shrub in the garden, an IMAX movie downtown, a steak on the BBQ. The day has become less sad, held less meaning as the kids grow and have adapted to their life with only one parent. But with each passing year, Father’s Day becomes less and less volatile.

 

The kids have almost passed the period in elementary school where presents are being made in class. And if they are, the kids have adapted. Presents have been awarded to grandfathers or other men of importance in their lives at the time. I considered last year a kind of breakthrough when my son, still in elementary school decided to participate in his class’s annual Father’s Day craft project. When the day arrived, he presented his gift to me saying, “since you are pretty much like our dad as well as our mom, this is for you.” It was the compliment of a lifetime, and reminded me how far we had all come.

 

This year will be our eighth Father’s Day without a father to honor, and again, it will likely be passed with very little fanfare. In other years I have felt guilt for wanting to ignore these events, making up for it by forcing a celebration with trips to the beach, riding bikes, making Mickey Mouse pancakes – pretending that our family was still whole, pretending that my husband could still appreciate these efforts. It was my son who finally reminded me of the pressures I was putting on all of us when he asked, “Why do we always do all this stuff on Father’s Day when we don’t even have a dad?” I thought we had been doing it to remember him, but I realized that really I was doing it because I felt like I had to. My efforts were stressing me out and doing nothing to help us remember Arron, let alone honor him.

 

Instead of pancakes and bike rides and beach trips one day every June, I realized that all it takes to celebrate Father’s Day is for me to recognize one of my husband’s goofy expressions in our daughter, or his familiar glint of mischief in the eye of our son and laugh saying, “you look just like your father when you do that!”

 

That way every day is Father’s Day.
 

* * * *
By guest writer, Abigail Carter. View more of her essays at www.alchemyofloss.com ^[2] and learn more about her at www.abigailcarter.com ^[3].

Forgiveness

Someone close to me is emotionally stuck on certain negative events that happened in her life decades ago.  She talks about them in great detail and tells others how she felt when these things happened to her.  Listening over and over again to her retelling of these events doesn't seem to help her move forward and get past what happened.

 

It's as though she has a list in her head and she mentally checks these things off every day to remind herself that someone did something wrong to her.  It is sad and frustrating to watch someone concentrate on the same past events and yet not be able to say good-bye to them.

 

Constantly being a part of this conversation is teaching me in a new way about being positive about life and truly forgiving.  Not just saying you're sorry or accepting someone else's apology because you are expected to, but really and truly getting it out of your system and meaning it.

 

 

 

 

Bad things, unfair things and nasty things do happen to us.  Unfortunately that's what happens in life.  But great things, positive things, happy things also happen to us.  It's up to us to either choose the negative or the positive and then go ahead and live our lives.

 

A friend explained it to me this way: if you decide to hold on to something that makes you angry or "wronged," then every day you have to find the negative energy within yourself to go over that event and how it felt and what you think should have happened instead of what did actually happen.

 

That's a lot of baggage to drag around.

 

Instead, forgiveness is something you practice once.  You look at what happened, realize we are all human and make mistakes, forgive and then let it go.  Really let it go.  And then move on.

 

A colleague at work has the following saying about forgiveness taped to her desk.  The author is unknown but every time I read it I stop and think about what it means and commit to bringing the spirit of forgiveness into my life.

Here's the saying:

"Forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge.

It is the act of untying yourself from thoughts and feelings that bind you to the offense committed against you.

When you embrace forgiveness, you embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy."

Peace!

College Rejections Are Not The End Of The World

It's that time of year.

 

You know.  College admissions and rejections.

 

You are either laughing with joy from the news of your acceptance or crying because you got rejected.

 

If you didn't get into the college you wanted, it feels as if it's the end of the world, doesn't it?  But guess what?

 

It's not.

 

You don't know where life is going to take you; who you're going to meet and where you're going to go.  Life is full of the unexpected and the unplanned.

 

I am in a place I never thought I would be but it's still good!  I think I could ask my friends the same questions about college, careers and life and they would agree that life does not always unfold the way we think it will but it ends up working out.

 

In one of my former lives many, many years ago, I was a reporter in Washington, DC who wrote for The Boston Globe.  I covered the Massachusetts delegation on Capitol Hill.  I worked very hard, learned a lot about how things really work and also had a ton of fun.

 

Part of that fun was getting to know a group of stellar reporters and writers who were considered to be in a category all by themselves.  Their work was untouchable.  They were not only great reporters and writers but they were great people outside of work.  David Nyhan was one of those guys.

Below is a classic story that Nyhan wrote in 1987 about keeping life and the whole college admissions thing in perspective.  And The Boston Globe continues to reprint it all the time because no one can say it any better.

Please read it and you will discover the special way that Nyhan had with words and more importantly, that his words still ring true today.

David Nyhan

Did You Get A College Rejection Letter?  Here's Some Sage Advice?

By David Nyhan, Globe Staff

Former Globe columnist the late David Nyhan wrote the following column in 1987. Since then, it has been reprinted in the newspaper and online many times around this time of year. Nyhan died in January 2005.

THE REJECTIONS arrive this time of year in thin, cheap envelopes, some with a crummy window for name and address, as if it were a bill, and none with the thick packet you'd hoped for.

''Dear So-and-so:

''The admissions committee gave full consideration . . . but I regret to inform you we will be unable to offer you a place in the Class of 2012." Lots of applicants, limited number of spaces, blah blah blah, good luck with your undergraduate career. Very truly yours, Assistant Dean Blowhard, rejection writer, Old Overshoe U.

This is the season of college acceptance letters. So it's also the time of rejection. You're in or you're out. Today is the day you learn how life is not like high school. To the Ins, who got where they wanted to go: Congrats, great, good luck, have a nice life, see you later. The rest of this is for the Outs.

You sort of felt it was coming. Your SAT scores weren't the greatest. Your transcript had some holes in it. You wondered what your teachers' recommendations would really say, or imply. And you can't help thinking about that essay you finished at 2 o'clock in the morning of the day you absolutely had to mail in your application, that essay which was, well, a little weird.

Maybe you could have pulled that C in sociology up to a B-minus. Maybe you shouldn't have quit soccer to get a job to pay for your gas. Maybe it was that down period during sophomore year when you had mono and didn't talk to your teachers for three months while you vegged out. What difference does it make what it was? It still hurts.

It hurts where you feel pain most: inside. It's not like the usual heartache that kids have, the kind other people can't see. An alcoholic parent, a secret shame, a gaping wound in the family fabric, these are things one can carry to school and mask with a grin, a wisecrack, a scowl, a just-don't-mess-with-me-today attitude.

But everybody knows where you got in and where you didn't. Sure, the letter comes to the house. But eventually you've still got to face your friends. ''Any mail for me?" is like asking for a knuckle sandwich. Thanks a lot for the kick in the teeth. What a bummer.

How do you tell kids at school? That's the hard part. The squeals in the corridor from the kids who got in someplace desirable. The supercilious puss on the ones who got early acceptance or the girl whose old man has an in at Old Ivy.

There's the class doofus who suddenly becomes the first nerd accepted at Princeton, the 125-pound wrestling jock who, surprise, surprise, got into MIT. But what about you?

You've heard about special treatment for this category or that category, alumni kids on a legacy ticket or affirmative action luckouts or rebounders or oboe players. Maybe they were trying to fill certain slots. But you're not a slot. You're you. They can look at your grades and weigh your scores and see how many years you were in French Club. But they can't look into your head, or into your heart. They can't check out the guts department.

This is the important thing: They didn't reject you. They rejected your resume. They gave some other kid the benefit of the doubt. Maybe that kid deserved a break. Don't you deserve a break? Sure. You'll get one. Maybe this is the reality check you needed. Maybe the school that does take you will be good. Maybe this is the day you start to grow up.

Look at some people who've accomplished a lot and see where they started. Ronald Reagan? Eureka College. Jesse Jackson? They wouldn't let him play quarterback in the Big Ten, so he quit Illinois for North Carolina A & T. Do you know that the recently retired chairmen and CEOs of both General Motors and General Electric graduated from UMass? Bob Dole? He went to Washburn Municipal University.

The former minority leader of the United States Senate, Tom Daschle, went to South Dakota State. The former speaker of the US House of Representatives, J. Dennis Hastert, went to Northern Illinois University. Dick Armey, the former House majority leader, took a bachelor's degree from Jamestown College. Winston Churchill? He was so slow a learner that they used to write to his mother to come take this boy off our hands.

I know what you think: Spare me the sympathy. It still hurts. But let's keep this in perspective. What did Magic Johnson say to the little boy who also tested HIV positive? ''You've got to have a positive attitude." What happens when you don't keep a positive attitude? Don't ask.

This college thing? What happened is that you rubbed up against the reality of big-time, maybe big-name, institutions. Some they pick, some they don't. You lost. It'll happen again, but let's hope it won't have the awful kick. You'll get tossed by a girlfriend or boyfriend. You won't get the job or the promotion you think you deserve. Some disease may pluck you from life's fast lane and pin you to a bed, a wheelchair, a coffin. That happens.

Bad habits you can change; bad luck is nothing you can do anything about.

Does it mean you're not a good person? People like you, if not your resume. There's no one else that can be you. Plenty of people think you're special now, or will think that, once they get to know you. Because you are.

And the admissions department that said no? Screw them. You've got a life to lead.

85 Year Old Friends

All of my friends are gifts.

 

Friendships, no matter what your age, are healing and can help you maintain your mental balance.   Friends connect you to the dynamics of life and all it has to give.  Friends keep me going and remind me what life is truly about.  Hashing the ups and down of life cements my friendships, for they help me try to make sense -- or least laugh -- at what has happed to me or to them.

 

It's always great to make new friends but there is something about the chemistry of an old friendship that is fascinating to me.  Friends who have known each other for years can be similiar to a good marriage: they can finish each other's sentences, they let go of the things that don't matter and they just enjoy the company of each other.

 

Check out these two older gents who have a great friendship.  All I can say is I love their attitude towards life and they are a riot:

 

 

Blessed Easter

Have A Blessed Easter

"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure of heart,
for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called children of God.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Gospel of St. Matthew 5:3-10

Simply Notice

Crocus Signaling A New Season

 

The grand essentials in this life are

something to do, something to love,

and something to hope for.

 

           ~ Joseph Addison (1672-1719)

Today is the last day of February and that makes me smile.  I am not one to hurry time along but in this case I am happy to see the arrival of the month of March.  I love a longer day when the sun is warmer and daylight lasts until 8 or 9 o'clock in the evening.

 

I hadn't noticed that the seasons were starting change until the other morning when I had to get out the door extra early to go to work.  As I turned around to lock the front door to my house, I looked to the sky and noticed how much lighter is was compared to a month ago when it would have been pitch dark.  I even heard a few birds in the bare trees alternately chirping to each other.
 

"Wow," I thought. "Spring is almost here and so is daylight savings time. How did that happen?"

 

I welcome it happening.  There is always an amazing feeling of anything being possible when Spring and Summer arrive because people spend more time outdoors and they aren't weighed down by coats and gloves and boots and scarves.  To me, flip flops, shorts and T-shirts represent a sense of freedom.

 

Those days of freedom will indeed come, even though they are not here quite yet.

 

But I see signs of a new season coming: some crocus in a neighbor's front yard pushing through the soft dirt, Easter baskets and Easter eggs for sale in the grocery store and more television and newspaper stories about preparing your lawn for the warmer weather.  Is it time to fertilize?  Is it time to seed?  Can I plant anything in the ground yet?

 

I'm learning to look forward, to appreciate the simple things in life, to understand that I can endure and that the next day or the next season could bring flowers, chocolate. . .or  joy!

 

 

 

 

Christmas Scenes



Christmas Car
Courtesy of fbc.akamaihd.net

It's Christmas Eve!  Can you believe it?

In some ways, I think Christmas Eve is more magical than Christmas Day.

Maybe it's the anticipation. . .

Here are a few pictures showing the wonder of Christmas that I find comforting.  I hope they bring comfort and joy to you too!  Merry Christmas!!:



Christmas Candles
Courtesy of sphotos-a.ak.fbcdn.net

Christmas Gates
Courtesy of vintagerosegarden.tumblr.com

Christmas Village
Courtesy of dreamingofawhitechristmas.tumblr.com

Christmas Sled
Courtesy of ullamaijahanninen.net

Christmas Walk
Courtesy of crushculdesac.tumblr.com

Christmas Bucket
Courtesy of robomargo.com

 

Christmas Bow
Courtesy of tumblr.com
 

Being All In

 

 

 

 

 

This holiday season, I am appreciating the endless decorations of bows, bells and evergreens, listening to the traditional Christmas music that seems to be playing everywhere and trying to find wonderful presents for those that I love.

 

I've been to a few Christmas parties and also donated to schools and other groups who are dependent upon help from others so that they may continue their community work that is so crucial to helping men, women and children who are homeless and without a place to go for regular shelter and meals.

 

I am trying to give of myself and think positive thoughts because I know if I put myself in that mindset then I will act positively and carry on in a meaningful way.

 

I know there is no right or wrong way to celebrate the holidays, there is just what we are comfortable with and what we feel is right for ourselves.

 

But I still don't feel that I'm "all in" to the Christmas spirit.

 

Maybe I'm overthinking it and I should just allow it to happen rather than wondering why I don't particularly feel it.  I'm not sure.

 

Maybe it's that I feel emotionally spent by personal situations where I am constantly trying to be supportive but it doesn't seem to be making a difference.  That is a hard one.  I think we all have come up against that kind of situation.  I am trying my best, and so are others, but at a certain point, you can only do so much.

 

I guess at the end of the day, it's really all about love.

 

How are you feeling this holiday season?

Dancing Dreams

Pauline Clark has got it goin' on.

Today's post is about holding on to a dream that you know is good for your soul.  Pauline Clark is my inspiration today and she is featured in the story below that I read in the New York Daily News about how Pauline's lifetime dream of dancing with the Rockettes finally came true.

 

I think Pauline Clark, who is 87, has definitely heard about the idea of "use it or loose it" and has taken it to heart as a lifetime philosophy.

 

The idea behind "use it or loose it" is essentially this:  if you don't use the strength and mobility of your body on a regular basis as you grow older, then you might loose those functions.   I try to practice it as much as possible.  If I don't walk or move around every day, I just don't feel right and neither does my body.

 

Pauline Clark must feel the same way because she has been dancing since she was a young child and has always wanted to dance with the infamous Rockettes, New York City's iconic female dancers known around the world for their kick line.

Her age is definitely not holding her back from enjoying life to the max and it just goes to prove that it is never too late to make a dream come true:

 

Florida woman, 87, lives dream of dancing with the Rockettes

Pauline Clark, 87, from Clearwater, Fla., realized her lifelong dream of dancing with the world-famous steppers Saturday after the Wish of a Lifetime foundation teamed up with her senior center to bring her to the Big Apple.

By Nicole Lyn Pesce / NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

Saturday, December 8, 2012, 9:36 PM

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Pauline Clark in New York City
Photo Credit: Enid Alvarez: NY Daily News

 

The Rockettes had better watch their step, because this great-granny is hot on their heels.

Pauline Clark, 87, from Clearwater, Fla., realized her lifelong dream of dancing with the world-famous steppers Saturday after the Wish of a Lifetime foundation teamed up with her senior center to bring her to the Big Apple.

“I feel like a celebrity,” she gushed, giving a gleeful kick while gripping her walker under Radio City Music Hall’s iconic marquee. “I have marveled at the Rockettes ever since I first saw them on TV.”

Clark, who has been dancing since her brother insisted she get lessons at age 7, enjoyed a matinee performance of the 85th annual “Christmas Spectacular” (which is two years younger than she is) before taking a backstage tour.

She had never seen the Rockettes live before.




Pauline Clark dances with the Rockettes
Photo Credit: Geoffrey Hauschild/Camera 1

 
“I loved it from the beginning to the finish,” she said. “It’s much better in person.”

Of course, the highlight was becoming the oldest person to dance with the long-legged lovelies during the Rockette Experience, when about 50 guests took a dance workshop and posed for photos with three Rockettes.

“They’re just gorgeous girls, and very nice,” said Clark. “It was a lot of fun!”

A choreographer walked them through the troupe’s signature kick line.

“They were telling us to kick with the left foot and then to kick with the right, and so forth. I made out OK!” she said humbly. “I can always kick. I’m always dancing and using my legs.”

The silver-haired siren has eight decades of dancing under her feet, including her years teaching at the Arthur Murray School of dance in Tallahassee, Fla.

Clark still tears up the dance floor at the Brookdale Senior Living center’s senior happy hours on Saturdays.

“We do the jitterbug; we do the old waltz,” she said. “I’m just one that loves dancing.”

npesce@nydailynews.com

Being Positive

My son came home from college for a brief Easter break and happily it caused a shift in my outlook.

For me, the take away message of his visit is all about the importance of having a positive attitude.  Maybe it's young energy or maybe it's because he has a smaller plate of responsibilities than I do but my son has a wonderful tendency to find happiness in many things.  Just by being around him, I was reminded that being positive makes living a lot easier. 

You think that sounds obvious?  If being positive is so obvious then why am I not surrounded, enveloped and overwhelmed by it?  I wish being positive was obvious and pervasive and something that came naturally to everyone.

I am not a negative person but I am a realistic person.  I can also be an incredibly silly person; sometimes in situations when I shouldn't be.  When I am practicing my realism, it may sound as if I am purposely looking on the lesser side of a situation but that's not my goal.  I am usually drawing from my years of experience and that is hard to ignore.

But this past weekend, I let my son lead the way in some family situations and even though I didn't really want to do some of the things he suggested, I did them.  And I found out that by doing them it got me out of my usual way of looking at things and changed the way I divide my time.

I also found that if you look for the best, sometimes you find it!  Sometimes when you know you have to attend a gathering of some sort, you think you know what's going to happen.  But that's not always the case.  Being positive that it will turn out okay helps you going in to the event and can actually help you handle it in a lighter manner.

It was refreshing and I'm glad that it happened.  It's wonderful when you learn something from your child!

Handling Negatives

Like the weather, feelings are unpredictable. 

Sadness and anger come and go.  So do joy and excitement.

The most sensible approach to handling such feelings is to accept them...and continue doing what you need to do.

~ David K. Reynolds, A Handbook For Constructive Living