SNL -- Wrapping With Justin Timberlake & Jimmy Fallon

A good laugh is worth a million bucks.

 

Justin Timberlake & Jimmy Fallon on Saturday Night Live

There are a few of my friends and family members who can make me laugh so hard that I can't get my breath and I love that they have this special talent.  They are usually imitating someone or just have the ability to see life in a quirky way and I always can use a dose of their sense of humor.

 

Fortunately, there are also a few shows on television that also make me laugh.  One of them is "Saturday Night Live."  When I came home from a Christmas party this past Saturday night, I turned on the television and "Saturday Night Live" had just started airing and I immediately started laughing at the Wrappingville skit (link & video below) featuring the multi-talented Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon.

 

When we laugh, we forget about our sadness or anxiety, at least for a little while, and life seems less threatening.  In other words, laughter gets you out of your head and away from your troubles.

Check out this ridiculous yet clever Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon skit about rappin' or should I say wrapping paper and gift bags:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sD5hLarHyZo

Family Dynamics

I'm sure I'm stating the obvious when I say that every family has its own dynamic and its own way of relating to each other and I think that this special form of communication developed within the family over the years is revealed in its barest form on a holiday.

 

Let me tell you about mine.  Okay at least a little bit.

 

Take 15 adults, 8 grandchildren in their teens and twenties, 6 children under the age of six and one newborn baby and put them all together in close quarters for a number of hours and what do you get?

 

One large hungry and uninhibited family all talking at the same time about important earth shattering subjects such as food, sports, fashion and children.  People's responses are made to one another on the run while moving from one room to another or just loud enough for someone in one room to hear the other person.  What can you do? 

Christmas Day was full of welcoming kisses and hugs and flying wrapping paper and little ones mesmerized by electronic games.  It also was full of lots of spinach and artichoke dip and chips and cookies and peppermint bark.

  

Oh Behold Our Family Christmas Tree!!!!

I find as my siblings and I get older that so much can be said with a facial expression or a quick gesture of the hand.  Especially when your parents aren't looking.  

 

It may not have been entirely calm, quiet or an organized Christmas Day but it was ours and it worked for us.  It was a lot of work but at the end of the day, we were happy and blessed this year to be able to hang out with each other and I thank the Lord who allowed us to be together.  

 

Whether your family celebrated Christmas or not, I hope you were able to gather and feel some family love and make some holiday memories.

You Can't Sit Back & Wait

Did you ever complain about something you thought was going to be great but then it turned out to be a disappointing experience?

If you happened to complain to my mother about such a thing, then she probably would tell you that you have no one to blame but yourself because you get out of something what you put into it.

Which is the another way of saying that you can't sit on your butt and wait for stuff to come to you; you need to make the effort and go out there and take a chance and make some stuff happen.

Maybe it won't work the first time or the second time.  But you have to keep trying!

Check out the rainbow!

Happiness is not something that's ready made.

 

It comes from your own actions

 

                     ~ Dalai Lama

A Silly Ode to October

I know the calendar says it's the month of October but there have been days when it has felt as though it were July. 

When it feels like summer I am definitely one happy camper!!  It's all I can do to stop myself from driving to the beach!!  But then there are the shorter days when it now gets dark earlier and earlier and that is difficult for me to deal with.  It's really a downer to come out of work at the end of the day and it's dark already.

Autumn may not be one of my favorite times of the year but there are a few things about October that make me smile.  And when I smile, I relax and breath deeper, which in turn releases any physical tension I may be feeling.  Here goes:

-- Sweet childhood memories.  As a child, one of my favorite things to do was to shuffle my fee through the piles of leaves and collect the leaves that had turned color and fallen to ground.  I would take the leaves home and press them between pieces of waxed paper with a warm iron.  Moving the leaves around on the waxed paper, I would create different designs and when I found the one I wanted I would place another piece of waxed paper on top of the leaves (the waxed sides facing each other inside so that they can melt together) and slowly press the iron moving it over the veins and stems of the yellow, red and orange leaves.

 

I hope young children still get involved in crafty projects of this sort but probably not, right?  I'm not even sure that children still make their own Halloween costumes anymore but I'm hoping that they do!  I remember many times when my siblings and I just went into our closets and put costumes together for trick or treating and we always made a mess but had a lot of fun!

-- Pumpkins!  I love the pumpkin flavor plus I love actual pumpkins of all shapes and sizes.  Warm pumpkin pie is hard to resist and one of my favorite muffins is a pumpkin muffin full of cinnamon and nutmeg.  So yummy! 

Have you checked out what is going on with decorating pumpkins?  People are now painting them white, silver, gold and black and decorating them with circles and other groovy designs.  Pumpkins are not just for Halloween anymore!  I've seen them as decorations as weddings and centerpieces at gala dinners.  Use your imagination.  Since October is dedicated to celebrating the medical strides made towards fighting breast cancer, you could paint your pumpkin pink!

--Every month has its own personality and when award-winning children's book author (Where The Wild Things Are) Maurice Sendak wrote Chicken Soup with Rice A Book of Months, he made up a silly rhyming story for each month.  Here is Sendak's short ode to the month October: 

 

In October I’ll be host to witches, goblins, and a ghost.

I’ll serve them chicken soup on toast.

Whoopy once, whoopy twice, whoopy chicken soup with rice.

 

My attitude is the game changer in creating a happy and fulfilling life whether it's October or July. 

October is a month filled with possibilities.  I have no idea what great things could happen next to you or to me.  

 

Let's stay open to the positive and see what happens!!





Here's A Truth

Here's a truth:  when I write about the importance of being positive and finding positive inspiration in our lives, the idea of finding and doing that sometimes is as much for me as it is for you.

 

Please don't ever get the idea that I always have it together and that I am always able to just forge ahead with my life without any hesitations or second guessing or feeling inadequate.  I have those feelings just as anyone would.

I don't know about you, but those feelings tend to sneak up on me when I least suspect it and I fight hard to push them away so that they don't become the dominant feelings that I act on. 

 

I have lots of things going on in my life that I would love to write about because I think these situations are similar to things going on in your life.  But I can't.  I can't write about them because the people involved would be annoyed with me and would misunderstand why I wrote about it.

And so I keep this personal stuff to myself and try to work it out the best way I know.  Just as everyone is carrying around emotional conflicts, I am too.  Cry, Laugh, Heal is a place to share and come together and find healing and perhaps even strength.  But don't ever think that my life is one big problem free zone.

 

It's unfortunate I can't write about these other situations because I think in writing about something you are taking a step towards solving it.

 

You are calling it whatever it is.  You have a name for it.  Whether it's dysfunction, bullying, aging, sickness, mental health issues, or physical handicaps, I feel there is freedom in calling things what they are and speaking the truth.  For I may feel that only I am having these feelings, but I know that can't be true.  I know from what I read, what I hear and from my personal life that others feel it too.   

 

And that's why I am writing today about where I find myself.

 

There are days, and recently there are a lot of them, when I struggle to stay positive.  I struggle to remain faithful to the idea that things will eventually work out, that everything will be all right.

And when I am in that struggle I try to just let things be.

I remind myself that the answer will come in its own time.  I call back the resources from my support group, my family and my friends.  I close my eyes and softly say Reinhold Niebuhr's famous serenity prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Afterwards, I do feel hopeful.  There is something about this prayer that give me strength.  I feel less alone and ready to continue on my path wherever it takes me.

Perhaps we can travel on life's path together, working through those tough or stressful times using friendship, compassion and always humor!

 

Pushing Those Emotional Buttons

I have three sisters and two brothers who are younger than me.  Yes, I am the oldest of six children and we are very close in age.  Such a cast of loved ones has made, and continues to make for many great stories and many great memories.

 

I would say I talk to at least one of my sisters every day and sometimes I talk to all three of them during the coarse of one day.  That's a lot of yakking, right?  Not really because we also email and text each other.

 

In our own unique ways, each one of us has learned that life can be fabulous yet fragile.  Our conversations reflect those learning experiences and as such have become a lot more open and honest.  We have learned the hard way that even though you know what button you can push to get a reaction from a fellow sister, that it's not a good thing or even a kind thing to push it.  Pushing the button can sometimes instantly take away all the good feelings that we worked so hard to create and then you find yourself walking back a lot of what you said and doing that wastes a lot of time and a lot of energy.

 

 

Your emotional buttons will always be there but I have found that even if the button is pushed you have a responsibility to yourself and the other person not to react the way you did when you were younger.  In other words, just because something is said, it doesn't mean you have to take it personally or emotionally and go off the deep end.  Most of us find there is already enough drama in our daily contacts with strangers, we certainly don't need an extra dose in our personal lives.  I think you can acknowledge that you know the button's been pushed but then you can say something like, "Okay, I know that what you just said made you feel a hell of a lot better, but let's talk about what's really going on here."

 

Life is just too short to carry around a lot of emotional baggage every day.

 

You have to figure out when to let go of a behavior and change course.  Think of how much mental energy it takes for you to think about what happened to you, what was said to you, who said it, and then stir it all up until it becomes some kind of foaming emotional cocktail that you carry around with you every day with a big cherry on top.

 

I'm tired just thinking about it. 

 

Instead, I try to jump back from what happened, look at it, figure out what my foolish role was in it and learn something from it.  If an apology is needed, I apologize.  If the person is just venting, I ask if that is what is going on.  If I am annoyed, I go back to the person (not always right away) who got under my skin.  Like the other day, I caught myself.  I could feel that I just wanted to argue the old way of saying something sarcastic.  But I stopped myself, and put myself out there a bit and said, "I don't want to argue.  I just want to find a solution."

 

Take time to reflect on the negative things that happen to you because we can learn from them (ouch!) but don't make those things that annoy or hurt you the centerpieces of your life.  You are so much better than that.  At some point, you have to let go of it and toss it away.

 

Otherwise, the negativity will feed on itself, leaving little room for the great and good things that life will definitely bring your way.

 

George Carlin's Observations

Every day is an opportunity, right?

 

I try to keep this simple but positive thought with me as much as possible even if I am having a really sh#*tty day.

 

I try to learn some useful lesson from the incredible number of mistakes I constantly make and then I push myself to move on to the next thing. 

 

That's why a new day is so great.  We all get to try and do it all over again and maybe this time even try it a different way.

 

A new day means I have the opportunity of 24 new hours in front me in which I can make a go at kicking an old habit, working a little harder to achieve a personal goal or making better food choices so that I can lead a healthier life.

 

That why I love this short piece below by George Carlin!!  One of my sisters recently emailed this insightful piece to me and I had to share it with you because it's amazing and in some ways so true about today's way of living.

Comedian George Carlin

SOMETHING TO PONDER

By George Carlin

George Carlin's wife died early in 2008 and George followed her, dying in July 2008. It is ironic that George Carlin - a Grammy Award winning, stand-up comedian of the 70's and 80's known for his "Seven Dirty Words" routine  - could write something so timeless and so very appropriate. 

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.  We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years.

 

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.  Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.

Special Birthday Wishes

Twenty three years ago today, my magical son was born!

From the bottom of my heart I couldn't love you more!!  You are a joy and a wonder and watching you grow into a young man is and always will be exciting.

I know this past year has been a challenge for you but you have never been one to run away from difficult situations and I know that this coming year holds some good, solid, life-changing news for you!!  I don't know what the good news will be, but I sense it will be delivered to you this year just as sure as I know that you are a special guy!

I am so proud of you and how far you have traveled on your life's journey.  Continue to be true to yourself and follow your passions and you will never stray from making your heart happy!

 

Happy birthday and best wishes always to you my beloved son for many, many more!!

To close out this loving birthday post, here's a special rockin' greeting to you from The Beatles:

 

Unwanted Care

How do you try to take care of someone when they don't want you to?

I'm sure you must know a person you care about and perhaps even love who doesn't want you to help them even though it is obvious that help is very much needed. You understand the frustration right? It's the frustation of no matter how hard you try to offer various kinds of support, you never are able to do the right thing, the thing that will make them happy.

This is what I know I can do: I call on the telephone, I listen, I try to empathize.  I visit as much as I can because nothing beats seeing someone in person.  I offer to run errands.  I bring food so the person won't have to cook and I clean while I'm in their house.

I think listening is the most important thing I can do because everyone knows that the more a person expresses his/her feelings, the better they feel.  There's no point in trying to get them to open up if they're not ready or willing to talk.

Most of all, I try to maintain a calm demeanor.

This is what I don't do: I don't offer suggestions.  I don't offer anything that could be viewed as a solution.  I don't ask too many questions.  I don't intrude into the other person's personal business.  I don't react to negative comments.

It's a constant balancing act but I care about this person so I keep striving to maintain the balance.

And so I keep on trying. . .

And trying. . . and trying.

The Odometer Rolls to 90

Work, children, friends, lovers, spouses. . . So much is happening in all of our lives and it all seems to zip along a lot faster than we want.

 

At 90 years young, Regina Brett has a unique perspective on the rhythms of life and how to get back up and dust yourself off after life has kicked you in the teeth.  I have no idea whether I will live as long as Regina, but if I do, I hope to have her wisdom.

 

 

 

Brett is a columnist for the Cleveland Plain Dealer newspaper and she says that to celebrate getting older she once wrote a column about the 45 lessons that has life taught her.  It is now the most requested column she has ever written.

 

I thought it would be fun to share Brett's insightful lessons of life list once more (My picks are #10, #13, #25 and #45).  Here goes:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive (and try to forget).

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield (at least once in a while).

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a "gift"

Amen Regina!!!!

Wishing You Serene Thoughts. . .

 

 

 

 

 

Look Well To This Day

 

 

Look well to this day,

For it and it alone is life.

In its brief course

Lie all the essence of your existence:

 

The Glory of Growth

The Satisfaction of Achievement

The Splendor of Beauty

 

For yesterday is but a dream,

And tomorrow is but a vision.

But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,

And every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Staying True

 

Thought For The Day

 

(With Thanks To The Silver Pen)

 

 

Everyone should have a dream or two.  They can help motivate you and keep you moving forward.

 

Sometimes you can have a dream for fun as in "If I ever hit the lottery, this is what I would do."  I always say to myself that if I ever won the lottery or all of sudden inherited a lot of money, I would buy a house at the beach.

 

Then, there are the everyday dreams you can have about your personal life or your work.  Try to be realistic and not "pie in the sky" about what it is you really want.  Breaking down your everyday dreams into manageable goals could be one way of achieving them.  Think about what works for you.

 

But don't give up on your dreams.  They are important for healing your soul and keep you on course.

 

A Cartful of Gratitude

Photo Courtesy of Williams Sonoma

Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you and to give thanks continuously.  And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include
all things in your gratitude.

                                                    ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Just like most Americans, I went to the grocery store this weekend to buy food to prepare for Thanksgiving dinner.

 

The store was crowded and the shelves were stocked with all of the things that I buy at this particular time of year: pumpkin, cream cheese, spices, nuts and cranberries.  Depending on the aisle I was in, I could tell people were carefully searching for certain ingredients for recipes traditionally served in their family every year.

 

For some people, it is just not Thanksgiving unless that particular dish is served.

 

In my family, it is the stuffing.  My siblings and I only want the stuffing that we had when we were growing up.  My sister-in-law is wonderful and she is very accomodating because she serves our family's stuffing along with a cornbread stuffing and also an oyster stuffing.  People in my family are pretty direct about what they want while walking through the buffet line and always ask when looking at the various stuffings (just to make sure): "Um, which one of these is our stuffing?"

 

It cracks me up because to us, and I know this is true for other families, Thanksgiving is all about the same food you have always eaten on Thanksgiving.  It is not a day to try out new food.

 

But if Thanksgiving is about Tradition, it is also about Gratitude.

 

As I shopped in the grocery store, I thought about how lucky I was to load my cart up with what I needed to serve for Thanksgiving and that when I pushed my cart to the check-out line, I knew that I would be able to pay for it.

 

Suppose I couldn't?  Suppose I couldn't afford what I needed and could only buy the minimum amount of food?  Suppose I couldn't afford any food and my Thanksgiving was at a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter?

 

Unfortunately, we fall into a common and bad habit of thinking about what we don't have, what is going wrong in our life or what is in our way to making progress.  Instead of thinking about what we don't have, I suggest we flip our thinking and focus on the positives in our lives and be thankful for the wonderful gifts that surround us.

 

Life cannot be truly rich without gratitude.

 

It may sound like a small thing but as I placed my items on the conveyer belt at the grocery store, I was truly grateful that I could buy food to feed myself and my loved ones and that I had a car and a home for shelter.  I take these things for granted when I never should.

 

Being thankful is counting your blessings and this week when I bow my head to give thanks to God for the food and the people in my life, I will have much to be thankful for.

Happy, Feliz, Joyeux,

Photo By Carla Culbertson Cranston

 

If only we could live our lives just as these two beautiful children are!

Spontaneously and happily!

But here's the thing: WE CAN!!!

Surpringly, we have more control over our happiness than you would think.

Current research shows that part of our happiness is determined by our temperament or personality.  Many people believe our personalities are locked in from birth because it comes from our DNA.  That's great if you have a bright, sunny personality.  But if you have a sour, negative personality, and you want to be happier, there is are some things that you can do to change.

 

This research also shows that another part of our happiness is determined by our active point of view of the world, our neighborhood, our jobs and the people within all those places.  How we think about all those different places; in other words, our outlook, is either on the positive side or the negative side.  But we do have control over how we see things and what we think about all that.

Focusing on the positive can determine our chances for feeling happy about life on Planet Earth.

 

I'm not trying to say that everything should be viewed as full of goodness and sweetness and light.  That's not realistic.   

 

For sure negative things will happen to us and when they do we can absorb the crisis and look at it directly and honestly.  I have dealt with the death of my husband and raising a child by myself. It's not easy but I dealt with it by taking baby steps and believing that things would eventually get better.

No one can control what happens to us but we can control the way we react.  If there is a life crisis, you can be mad, you can vent, you can cry, but in the end you have to find a healing place within yourself where you can feel some peace and happiness.

I was skeptical when I first read this following story about cultivating happiness that was posted on a website called Purpose Fairy (www.purposefairy.com).  But after reading it and really thinking about it, I think it's empowering.  Take from it what you need and use the different steps that you need to help you jump start a fresh point of view:

12 Scientifically Proven Steps To Happiness

Here are the 12 scientifically proven steps to happiness discussed by Sonja Lyubomirsky in her book – “The How of Happiness”.  Sonja is a Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside and her work which at one point also focused on the possibility of permanently increasing happiness, has received a great deal on attention from TV stations, radio stations, magazines and newspapers all over the world.

1. EXPRESS GRATITUDE

The life you are now living, express your gratitude for it, the mistakes you made in the past and all the lessons you’ve learned, express your gratitude for them. Look for the good in your life and appreciate it.

The single greatest thing you can do to change your life today would be to start being grateful for what you have right now. And the more grateful you are, the more you get. ~ Oprah

2. CULTIVATE OPTIMISM

Expect the best from life and you will receive the very best. Life doesn’t care whether you are a pessimist or an optimist, whether you focus on the good or the bad, whether you expect the worse or the best from life. Life will treat you exactly the way you expect to be treated and if that’s the case then you should definitely start cultivating your optimism.

The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious to the rose. – Kahlil Gibran

3. AVOID OVER-THINKING AND SOCIAL COMPARISON

Our lives and where we are right now are the result of all the thoughts we had since birth up until now. If you don’t like something, see if you can change it but if you can’t change it, don’t stress about it and just let it go. Change your attitude towards life and life will change its attitude towards you. Look for ways to be better than you used to be and not better than anyone else. Spend your time and energy improving yourself and your life and you will no longer feel the need to compete and compare yourself with others.

Stop thinking, and end your problems. What difference between yes and no? What difference between success and failure? Must you value what others value, avoid what others avoid? How ridiculous! ~Lao Tzu

4. PRACTICE ACTS OF KINDNESS

Be kind to others and to yourself and you will be happy.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. ~Dalai Lama

5. NURTURE SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS

Go out and meet new people, socialize, get interested in what others are doing and they will automatically get interested in what you are also doing.

6. DEVELOP STRATEGIES FOR COPING

Work on developing strategies for coping by observing your thoughts and playing with your mind. Be the lab scientist and not the rat.

There are times in everyone’s life when something constructive is born out of adversity… when things seem so bad that you’ve got to grab your fate by the shoulders and shake it. ~Anon

7. LEARN TO FORGIVE

Learn to forgive yourself and those people who might have hurt you in the past. The moment you forgive, you free yourself from pain and you allow happiness to enter your life once again.

 

Forgiveness means that you fill yourself with love and you radiate that love outward and refuse to hang onto the venom or hatred that was engendered by the behaviors that caused the wounds.” Wayne Dyer

8. INCREASE FLOW EXPERIENCES

Work with your unique gifts and talents, work with your passions, manage your weaknesses but cultivate your strengths and by doing so you will increase the flow experiences and become more happy.

Everyone has unique gifts and talents. What you love is what you’re gifted at. To be completely happy, to live a completely fulfilled life, you have to do what you love. ~Barbara Sher

9. SAVOR LIFE’S JOY

Look at the Sun, look at the trees, look at the beauty of nature, beauty of life and savor it all.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. ~Robert Brault

10. COMMIT TO YOUR GOALS

If you want to be happy, you have to have goals. Know what is it that you want from life, ask for it and trust that in the end you will receive it. Make sure you set all kinds of goals, personal goals, career goals, adventure goals, contribution goals and by doing so you will have a sense of direction, security and trust into your life.

If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things. ~Albert Einstein

11. PRACTICE RELIGION/ SPIRITUALITY

Religion/spirituality makes people feel safe and secure, it gives them strength when in danger and faith when in doubt. There is an invisible force that created us all and this force is watching over us. By knowing this you become a lot happier and at peace due to the fact that you feel you are not alone.

The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge. ~Einstein

12. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY

Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live. ~Jim Rohn

Your body is your temple and the way you feel internally will reflect externally. Exercise whenever possible, make sure you drink plenty of water- water is life, and eat as healthy as possible.

Good for the body is the work of the body, good for the soul the work of the soul, and good for either the work of the other. ~Henry David Thoreau

10 Things To Make You Happier @ Home

Courtesy of Coastal Living

Do you make your bed every day?

Don't worry.  I don't either.  I know this sounds like a silly question but apparently if you do make your bed every day you are off and running to a better, more organized, happier day. 

I probably should smooth out the sheets and blanket and actually make my bed but I really don't think it's that important.  My mother is a fanatic about making my parents bed every day and one day in what I thought was a casual conversation (rookie mistake!) I dropped the bomb that I don't make my bed every day.  She didn't say it but I could tell from the look on her face that she thought she had failed as a mother.

Oh well....I guess I'm a loser in the home department.  Which brings me to this wonderful list that Apartment Therapy's Jackie Ashton recently put together to make you feel more comfortable about the state of things in your home.  They are simple, easy peasy ideas.

If you are like me, I am always looking around the house and thinking about how something would be better if I changed it or painted it or even fixed it!

The list is called 10 Simple Things To Make You Happier At Home and I will be focusing on a combination of things starting this weekend.  Here you go and have fun with it:

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/10-things-that-will-make-you-happier-at-home-174151

Birthday Dude

Today I would like to give a big birthday shout-out to my son who is turning 22 years old!  I am so thankful that you are in my world because you inspire me!!!

Your journey has not been an easy one and I think you've already learned many of life's valuable lessons:  you are truly loved very much by me and many others, be true to yourself and listen to your inner voice, take the high road when you can, but if it's time to get down and dirty then bring it on and face it.  Losing your father at a young age showed you there were many different paths towards healing and you have worked hard to find the right one for you.

I hope you have a birthday that's as special as you are and in honor of your special day I would like to give you the classic poem written in 1895 titled, "If" by British Nobel laureate Rudyard Kipling.

By today's standards, I'm sure you'll think this poem probably has a bit too much of the "stiff upper lip" philosophy but there are guiding principles and philosophies that still hold true centuries later.

IF

By Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

Happiness Is A Choice

Dear Readers,

Today's post is a continution of yesterday's chat about life being easier to navigate when you embrace a positive attitude.  As the below story says, happiness is a choice, and you can practice it as much as you want!!

A very good friend sent me this story that was recently published in a British newspaper called The Guardian.  It gently addresses the thoughts of people who know they are at the end of their lives.  The story is timely because it gets right to the core of addressing how we live our lives verses how we wish we had lived our lives.  My friend said she found the story below to be "rather uplifting, because we might still have time to prevent some of our own regrets."  I agree!

True happiness comes from forgetting about yourself and doing something for someone else just because you want to, not because of what you're going to get in return.  You do it just because you know it makes the other person happy. 

I found this philosophy to be true even after my husband died.  Helping my son, a friend or someone at work freed up my mind and let me temporarily think about something else.  Sometimes it was a relief to get out of that heavy cloud of hurt and try to become part of something lighter. 

Focusing on the bad, the ugly and the negative, just puts you in a bad, ugly or negative frame of mind and it's hard to believe that anything constructive will come out of that.  I hope you enjoy this story as much as I did:

Top five regrets of the dying

By Susie Steiner

The Guardian

Wednesday 1 February, 2012

A nurse has recorded the most common regrets of the dying, and among the top ones is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'. What would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of life?

A palliative nurse has recorded the top five regrets of the dying. Photograph: Montgomery Martin/Alamy

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

Being Positive

My son came home from college for a brief Easter break and happily it caused a shift in my outlook.

For me, the take away message of his visit is all about the importance of having a positive attitude.  Maybe it's young energy or maybe it's because he has a smaller plate of responsibilities than I do but my son has a wonderful tendency to find happiness in many things.  Just by being around him, I was reminded that being positive makes living a lot easier. 

You think that sounds obvious?  If being positive is so obvious then why am I not surrounded, enveloped and overwhelmed by it?  I wish being positive was obvious and pervasive and something that came naturally to everyone.

I am not a negative person but I am a realistic person.  I can also be an incredibly silly person; sometimes in situations when I shouldn't be.  When I am practicing my realism, it may sound as if I am purposely looking on the lesser side of a situation but that's not my goal.  I am usually drawing from my years of experience and that is hard to ignore.

But this past weekend, I let my son lead the way in some family situations and even though I didn't really want to do some of the things he suggested, I did them.  And I found out that by doing them it got me out of my usual way of looking at things and changed the way I divide my time.

I also found that if you look for the best, sometimes you find it!  Sometimes when you know you have to attend a gathering of some sort, you think you know what's going to happen.  But that's not always the case.  Being positive that it will turn out okay helps you going in to the event and can actually help you handle it in a lighter manner.

It was refreshing and I'm glad that it happened.  It's wonderful when you learn something from your child!

Life 101

Thank you Silver Pen for posting the following wisdom

 about life its' own self:

Light A Candle

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,

 and the life of the candle will not be shortened.

  Happiness never decreases by being shared.

-- Buddha