Philip Seymour Hoffman

I was getting ready for work yesterday morning when I turned on the radio which was tuned to NPR.  The station was airing an interview it did with the incredibly talented and award-winning actor Philip Seymour Hoffman when he was appearing on Broadway in 2012 as Willy Loman in a revival of the classic play, "Death of A Salesman."

 

It was strange to hear Hoffman's voice on the radio knowing that friends had found him Sunday in his New York apartment sadly and tragically dead of an apparent drug overdose at the young age of 46.

 

I stopped and listened as Hoffman talked about the power of the play's story and how it audibly affects each audience that sees "Death Of A Salesman," a play focusing on the waning days of an aging and failing salesman.  Hoffman sounded so calm and thoughtful in the interview, so in control. (NPR interview: http://www.npr.org/2012/04/12/150305122/philip-seymour-hoffman-broadways-new-salesman)  



Philip Seymour Hoffman
Photo By Dominique Charriau/Wire Image

And yet he had private inner struggles vying for attention, strong addictions that he was constantly fighting and trying to face square on.  Life for Philip Seymour Hoffman was intense and beautiful and all of it had to be felt and distilled and carefully brought to each role he powerfully acted.

 

Nor surprisingly, he also recognized the emotional hard work of grieving and in this interview with Yahoo Movies, Hoffman talks about what grieving is and what it is not:

http://movies.yahoo.com/blogs/movie-news/philip-seymour-hoffman-told-us-grieving-225637926.html

My thoughts and prayers are with his family and may his soul forever rest in peace.

A New York Lesson

To have an uninterrupted block of time in which to read is to me a pure, unadulterated luxury.

 

Don't you just love that word luxury?  It just rolls off your tongue and sounds a bit sinful.

 

Reading for pleasure is healing and similar to putting your foot on the brake of life, stopping your normal crunched up, sometimes scattered daily routine, and allowing your mind to travel elsewhere.  When I find a book that has a compelling story line I am mentally gone and immersed in the characters and their lives and lose all track of the passage of time.  This past weekend, I found myself with two mornings in a row of relatively quiet hours in which to read and I used every second of it to enjoy a collection of short stories called "Good Bye To All That."

 

Essentially, the book is the work of 28 authors writers pouring their hearts out about why it was absolutely necessary and essential for them to live in New York City to become writers of importance, writers extraordinaire, and of course we all know that this kind of thing can only happen in New York City right?



My Favorite Building:
The Chrysler Building in New York City



Unfortunately, we also know that the best laid plans sometimes don't work out and then painful adjustments have to be made.  Usually this means leaving New York City, for at some point, even the most ardent of Big Apple lovers can get worn down by New York City and its frenzied pace.

 

But in between the arrival and the departure a vast amount of wisdom is learned by these authors about the hugs and punches of  life and each one lays bare their vulnerability in chasing their dreams and they write about how their New York lessons have stayed with them no matter where they ended up living after leaving.

One that particularly struck me, is a short story titled "Homecoming" by Mira Ptacin.  The author explains how she and her husband now live in a quiet and rural place called Peaks Island, Maine,  population 800,  years and years after living in New York City where they unfortunately practiced the selfish habit of constantly putting their careers first, always to the exclusion of their marriage.  While still in New York, Ptacin and her husband saw many red flags along the way signaling to them that they needed to spend more time together but none matched the impact of the sudden death of a childhood friend's father.

The loss forced them stop and wonder and think about what was actually important to them and eventually they ended up asking themselves a series of questions about what would happen to them if they got sick, who would take care of them, who would even care if they got sick or worse.  It made them re-evaluate their lives and they decided it was time to save their marriage or else pretty soon there would be no more marriage.

Loss can starkly show you what's truly important and what is a waste of your precious time.  Here is Ptacin's insight about the simplicity of life that she says she learned after her tragic loss:

"Brent's funeral was held three days after he died.  After the burial and as the sun was setting, we gathered at Brent and Rosemary's home.  We walked there from Andrew's childhood home, too, and we stayed until nearly 2 am, drinking on their wraparound porch, exchanging stories, eating Doritos, passing photo albums, and handing out tissues.  This went on for three nights, and kept going even after Andrew and I left town.

Here are some of the things I learned at Rosemary's that first week after leaving New York: I learned that when a widow is crying and smoking a cigarette, you let her cry and if you speak, it's to ask if you can get her another Diet Coke.  I learned that no one cares that much what you do for a living, but they will be grateful if you stay up with a six-year-old and watch Dennis the Menace because his grandfather is dead and he cannot sleep.  Rather than get into a political debate about the war, you thank an Iraqi veteran for his service.  You do not check your BlackBerry in the middle of a toast, and when someone hands you a crying baby, you hold it.  I learned that ice cream cake make grandpas feel really special, and when a neighbor invites you to swing by the food pantry during her volunteer shift so that she can take a look at that nasty poison oak on your shin, you go, and wait patiently until she can get free to see you.  I learned that you don't judge someone's worth based on what they can do for you and that you aren't expected to ask, "How can I help?"  Instead, you just jump right in."

That's exactly right.   

You just jump right in and embrace love and the whole range of magnificent feelings that life sends your way.

For when you put love first, you are home. 

A World View

Something To Think About. . .

"The world is before you

 

and you need not take it 

 

or leave it as it was when you came in."

 

~ James Baldwin

 

 

Heavy Fog Rolls Into New York City
NY Metro Weather via Earthcam

 

Hillary Clinton

Photo Courtesy of People.com

Hillary Clinton is a workhorse.  I would guess that she gets more accomplished in an hour as Secretary of State than I do in a day.

An incredibly savvy woman who has served this country as First Lady and as a member of the US Senate, she is also fearless about putting her beliefs into action and that's one of the reasons why she is the most admired woman in the world according to a December 2012 Gallup  poll.  In fact, this marks the 11th year in a row that Hillary has held the number one spot.  

 

But her current medical situation makes me pause.

I was very happy to read that she was discharged from New York-Presbyterian Hospital on Wednesday where she was diagnosed and successfully treated for a blood clot in her head.  According to her doctors, the blood clot developed from a concussion she suffered in her home earlier in December.

 

Clinton's spokesman explained that while she was at home fighting a stomach virus, she had become dehydrated, fainted and fell, striking her head.  Blood clots are nothing to fool around with; especially when found in the brain.

 

Even though Clinton said in a statement yesterday that she is eager to get back to work now that the clot has dissolved with the help of blood thinners, her medical scare is a strong reminder to me and all of us who routinely multi-task and push themselves that we need to work smart and protect our good health.

 

Staying hydrated is definitely a priority and one that increases in importance as we grow older.  WebMD says older adults have an increased chance of becoming dehydrated for the following reasons: they may not drink water on a regular basis because they do not feel as thirsty as younger people, their kidneys might not work as well as they once did and they might choose not to drink lots of water because of an inability to control their bladders.

 

Something to look forward to right?

 

I enjoy working but when I am involved in a project I am passionate about I know that I sometimes lose track of time and sometimes even forget to eat.  Working hard can be satisfying but I try to remind myself that work shouldn't compromise my health or yours.

For example, I have a job where I sit in front of a computer.  Throughout the day, I constantly remind myself to get up and walk around.  I need to give my eyes a break and I definitely need to move my body.  Sitting in one place for hours at a time is not good for any part of my body even though I have worked with people who are almost macho about how long they work in front of the computer.

To me, that's not working smart.  That's just marking time.  At a certain point you are no longer focused on what you're doing because you've been at it for so long you don't even see it any more. 

There's no gold medal for working yourself to the bone.  In fact, I've seen some people end up very sick trying to put in unbelievable work weeks.  Sooner or later, the lack of sleep, the stress, the constant mental go-go-go, the eating on the run and deadlines wear you down.  I  find it's not the amount of hours you work, but what you do with the hours you work that helps you stay on top of your job.

If you are a workhorse too, I think the healthiest plan to follow is to try to be proactive.  Evaluate your schedule and see what you can get done before a deadline.  Remove distractions and do the work when it's time to do the work.  Push through until the work is done and reward yourself with a break.

I appreciate and admire Hillary Clinton's work ethic and her talents but her hospitalization was a public sign to all of us that sometimes we need to put the breaks on our work schedules and be aware of the health pitfalls that can happen when you put in long hours in a pressure cooker job.

Please rest up Hillary.....we need you!
 

Happy New 2013!!

Happy New Year to you and yours!

I hope you are not feeling too hung over today from the fun you had last night and may your first day of the new year be a harmonious one.

My New Year's Eve last night was a low key one for me: an early dinner with family and then home to try and stay awake to watch the ball drop in New York's Times Square.  I ended up falling asleep on the family room couch way before midnight (no surprise there) but then woke up at midnight because the neighbors were setting off fireworks and yelling, "Happy New Year" out in the street.

 

I looked out the window and watched them and smiled.  I loved the spontaneity and the celebration!

 

A new year had started.  A new year spread before us, fresh with expectations and wishes and time that it is unwritten.

 

I took a deep breath and said a prayer that this would be a year of good health and healing.

 

For those of you who lost a spouse, a child, a relative, a partner, a friend or an acquaintance in 2012, may you move forward into the new year with a sense of resilience and may you bring your memories of your loved one with you.

 

Use those memories to give you strength and let them restore your broken heart.

 

Use those memories as a touchstone and let them remind you that your loved one would want you to return to living your life.  You will never ever forget them, just as I will never forget my husband who died.  Weep for them when you feel sad, but also laugh for them when you remember a funny thing they did or said. 

 

Talk about your loved one and reach out to others.  You may feel alone in your thoughts but you are not.  There is always someone who cares enough about you to sit quietly and listen as you seek to recover and restore your outlook on life.

 

It can be scary, for this healing process is exposing you to a different life, a life with new people, places and possibilities.  But remember you will always have your loved on with you and that person will always be in heart and in your memory.

 

To you my fantastic readers, I wish all of you good health, happiness, love and laughter in the new year and as 2013 unfolds, take your time to find new meaning and new purposes in your wonderful life.

 

Peace Always & Happy New Year!!!!!

 

May 2013 be all that you wish it be!!!

 

 

 

 

Baby Angels

I have written previously about angels and particularly about a book my aunt gave me titled, Angel Letters," by Sophy Burnham.  From time to time, I read this book because I find it comforting and it puts life into perspective for me.

 

There are a number of stories that I tend to re-read when I am stressed or confused about life and this short story is one in particular that always takes my breath away:

 

In April 1990 Sophy Burnham was being interviewed about her book on WOR-Radio in New York.  She was being interviewed by Gil Gross and as they took calls and discussed the subject of angels, Gross told the following story about a young couple who had one little girl and a new baby:

 

"The little girl wanted to be left alone with the baby, but the parents were afraid.  They had heard of jealous children hitting new siblings, and they didn't want the baby hurt.

 

     'No, no,' they said.  And, 'Not yet.'

    

And also: 'Why do you want to be with him?  What are you going to do?'

 

     'Nothing.  I just want to be with him.'

 

She begged for days.  She was so insistent that the parents finally agreed.  There was an intercom in the baby's room.  They decided that they could listen, and if the baby cried, if the little girl hit the baby, they could rush into the room and snatch the infant up.  So, the little girl went in, approached the crib.  Alone.  She came up to the newborn baby, and over the intercom they heard her whisper:

     'Tell me about God.  I'm forgetting.' "

Nora Ephron

Nora Ephron
By Michel Arnaud/Corbis

As the very sad news broke that Nora Ephron had died at the age of 71 from acute myeloid leukemia, it was immediately apparent from reading people's tweets and posted comments that Ephron's death was a tragic surprise and no one wanted to accept the dismal fact that we would no longer be able to look forward to the creation of another amazing, magical piece of work from her.

As Vanity Fair writer David Kamp declared, "...New York without Nora Ephron is just plain wrong."

Her writing was sophisticated yet straightforward and she had a way of cutting through the big boy media noise to insightfully address politics, food, parenting, aging, male/female relationships and the American way of life in general.  She had a zest for life and she never stopped discovering and exploring, talking and collaborating, going for the next project.

I first discovered the multi-talented Nora Ephron back in the '70's when I read her books, "Crazy Salad" and "Scribble Scribble: Notes on the Media."  I immediately loved her smart and funny point of view and I continued to follow her career whether she was writing more books, magazine columns, screenplays or directing movies.

It's hard to pick a favorite of her many movies: Heartburn, Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, You've Got Mail, Silkwood, Julie and Julia but I think I have to go with Heartburn.

Ephron cleverly wrote Heartburn as thinly veiled fiction, telling the tale of her failed marriage to Washington Post reporter Carl Bernstein.  It is a truthful look at falling in love, vulnerability, and resilience.  Bernstein, of the famed Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein Washington Post team which uncovered the Watergate scandal, had an affair with Margaret Jay, the British Ambassador's wife, while he was married to Ephron and she was pregnant with their second child.

Rumors had been floating around Washington, DC about the state of their marriage and people couldn't wait to read Heartburn, which was later made into a movie starring Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson and was filmed in Washington, DC.

Her friends have written about her generosity and happiness and I think that definitely came through in a lot of her work.  She was the kind of woman you wanted to have as a best friend because you got the sense that you could call her and she would immediately understand what you were talking about and then the two of you would talk about it for hours.

Thank you Nora for being your amazing self!! I think this New York Times piece (including pictures) by Alessandra Stanley captures Nora Ephron best:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/28/fashion/nora-ephrons-hollywood-ending.html?_r=1&hp