Strength Through Sharing

Sharing my stories, and those of others, can entertain, offer strength and inspiration and sometimes minimize the isolation that is felt in relationships or personal crisis.  I share to bond, to reach out, to reveal that I am vulnerable just like you.

No one knows when someone else's story will unexpectedly touch your life and help you gain a new perspective on a subject that you thought you knew enough about but you really didn't.  Someone else's words can bring new understanding to the life and death issues of physical and emotional survival and help you see things differently.

 

My son's girlfriend works at The James House in Richmond, Virginia and through her and this YouTube video below that a friend recently posted on Facebook I am becoming knowledgeable about the amazing work they do in their counseling, bringing hope to the lives of people who are emotionally, physically and sexually abused and/or stalked. 

 

The steady and important work of The James House, a non-profit organization (their services are free and confidential) which this year is celebrating its 25th anniversary, is to heal and to empower and to offer an independent and safe future. 

 

In this video you will meet a thoughtful and articulate woman named Samina Abdullah who is a community organizer at The James House.  Samina is a down-to-earth kind of person who is wise beyond her years and acts as an agent of change for her part of the world.  Or as she describes it, "I don't feel responsible for the whole world.  I feel responsible for my own little bubble."  Don't you love that idea?

 

Her thought makes me realize that I can be overwhelmed by what is happening in the world at large when all I really need to do is to focus on my little part of the globe.  We can start in your own communities, find our passions, whatever they are and follow them.  Do what you can do and do it the best way that you can.

 

When in doubt, just take the next small step:

 

 

Oh Those Tacky Christmas Lights!

Christmas lights take me back to the innocence of my childhood, to a time when my parents would gather me and my five siblings and put us in the station wagon with winter coats over our pajamas and we would ride around the neighborhood and look at the Christmas lights displayed on other people's houses.

Did you do that too?


One of the houses on the Richmond Tacky Lights Christmas tour
Photo courtesy of Richmond.com

Those were the days when Christmas lights were larger than they are today -- no LEDs back then -- and they only came in blue, green, red, yellow and cream.  Pink and turquoise were nowhere to be found and I don't remember anyone ever having only white lights on their Christmas tree or on their house as is popular today.

 

It's a warm and cozy memory for me, made more dramatic because we would view the lights in the darkness of night and everything seemed magical from the safety of a car with your parents in the front seat.  Those were also the days when there were no seat belts so the babies would be lying in a carry-all and we would giggle and wiggle and slide around on the seats and press our faces to the cold glass of the car window and pick our favorite lights.

 

Today, my 23-year-old son absolutely adores Christmas lights!  There can never be enough Christmas lights for him and he especially loves a section of houses in Maryland that we pass on the way to his grandparents house where the neighbors are in competition with each other to see who can put up the most lights on the houses and in their yards.  I can't imagine what their electrical bill looks like.


Another house on the Richmond Tacky Lights Christmas tour
Photo Courtesy of Richmond.com

 

My son now lives in Richmond, VA and yesterday he tweeted about the Tacky Lights Christmas tour in Richmond, VA which of course is right up his alley.  I'm sure he will check out a few of the over-the-top displays which are part of a tradition started in Richmond in 1985 when local DJ Mad Dog Gottlieb booked a Winn bus and took a select group of Richmonders on a "tacky lights" tour of 10 to 12 houses.

Who knew that Richmond took such pride in its' creative abundance of Christmas lights?

Initially, houses needed a minimum of 10,000 lights.  Then it was decided that houses needed up to 20,000 and 30,000  Now, houses must have a minimum of 40,000 lights to be considered as part of the tour.  Can you imagine how long it takes for people to string this stuff up?

But what is tacky to one person is exciting and beautiful to another.

I can't help but think that there are lots of families out there this year creating their own memories by gathering their young children into their cars at night, riding around to ooh and ahh at the blinking, twinkling, multi-colored unbelievable houses full of Christmas Cheer!

Another house on the Richmond Tacky Lights Christmas tour
Photo Courtesy of Richmond.com

A Healing Patch of Green In Richmond

I took a road trip to Richmond, Virginia this past Saturday to visit my son and his girlfriend and we spent part of the day leisurely strolling the grounds of a breathtaking place called Maymont.

 

I knew nothing about Maymont but was happy to go along and discover more about this estate and 100 acre park given to the city of Richmond in 1925 by James Henry and Sallie May Dooley.  As we walked through the nature center and then went out its back doors, rolling hills of green and rows of small rose bushes and manicured gardens greeted us.  The sound of rushing water further along the path could be heard and we came upon a water fall of sorts (I took the photo!) which you could view from above where the water descended down the hill and beside it as you walked down the steps to a another healing patch of green: a beautiful Japanese garden full of bamboo, small bridges and large orange and white koi.

Maymont Water Fall

I could have stayed there for hours, absorbing the tranquility of the trees, the warm sun, relaxing sound of the water and the beauty of being surrounded by undeveloped green space.  It was so comforting and hopeful and yes, healing.

 

Unspoiled nature has this incredible power to produce a calming effect on me.  When you stop and observe its seasonal beauty, it takes you out of yourself and reminds you that you are part of something a lot bigger than yourself, a community as big as Planet Earth and all of its natural wonders.

 

Exploring Maymont reminded me that I need to pause everyday and enjoy life's small, fleeting pleasures, the colors and fragrance of a flower, the sound of water falling over rocks, the crisp smell of a wood fire, the feel of the sun on my face, and just walking in the grass.  I need to spend more time noticing and enjoying whenever nature is around me and let its healing spirit wash over me.

 

I love the city but sometimes its noise and constant traffic jams can tend to grind you down and when I find an oasis of green space, whether it's a park or potted plants and flowers, it calms me down and allows me to put positive thoughts back in my brain.

We all know how to work and set goals for ourselves but do we know how to play?  Do we go out of our way to make sure we regularly relax and enjoy the people we love and the beauty of our surroundings?

 

Exploring a new path on Saturday, talking and walking through Maymont's historic grounds untangled the thoughts in my head and allowed me to refresh my perspective about life, reminding me that life is not as overwhelming as it may sometimes feel.

 

Pizza With The President

President Barack Obama delivers pizzas to my son (on the phone)
and other hardworking field organizers

Whether you are a Democrat or a Republican, getting a chance to meet the President of the United States is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Yesterday my son and I were part of  an amazing event and it still feels surreal.

We were in Gloucester, VA going door-to-door to get out the vote for the Obama campaign when my son, who is a field organizer, received a call to quickly come to Williamsburg.  We knew President Obama was in Williamsburg preparing for Tuesday's debate with Republican nominee Mitt Romney so we figured that there was a very good possibility that President Obama had decided to stop by the Williamsburg office and do a meet-and greet with campaign staff.

We arrived in Williamsburg ahead of the President's motocade but Secret Service and the advance team were already on the scene.  It's was just as you would image: Black Escalades, sunglasses, earpieces, walkie talkies and security wands.  There were about 50 people standing outside, a mixture of Obama volunteers and supporters and the advance team waived my son into the building as I was told to wait outside.  One lady I talked to was there because she just stopped by to pick up an Obama sign for her yard.  Talk about perfect timing!

For security purposes, the rest of us were told we couldn't be in front of the building when the President arrived so we had to wait behind the building.  The Secret Service then told us when President Obama was in the building that we could come back to the entrance and form a line so that we could shake hands with the President before he departed.  While we waited, the Secret Service made sure everyone understood the ground rules: don't put anything in the President's face, keep your hands out of your pockets, and don't ask the President to sign anything.

 

There was a definite buzz of excitement and anticipation in the air and we all kept rearranging our hair and our clothes when suddenly that very familiar voice shouted, "Hello everybody!" and there he was, the President of the United States up close and personal.  Everbody started clapping and whooping and taking pictures.  My first impression was that he is taller and thinner than you would think.

 

Obama was relaxed in talking to each person, asking them their names, where they were from and took particular interest in the few children that were in line.  I just couldn't believe I was going to meet Barack Obama in a few minutes.  It was truly surreal.  I wanted time to slow down because he was getting ready to talk to me and I didn't know what to say.  Talk about the debate? No.  Say something about the election?  No.  Tell him he should gain a little weight and have a few more greasy burgers from Ray's Hell Burger, one of his favorites? Definitely No.

 

"What's your name?" the President asked me with a big smile.

 

I smiled back, told him my name and somehow managed to say, "Mr. President it is truly an honor to meet you and thank you for all of your hard work."  I put my hand out because I thought he would shake it, but then he put his arms out and hugged me!  OMG!! And then he was on to the next person.  It was over so fast!

 

The woman next to me was a riot because she didn't even wait for the President to talk to her.  She put her arms out and hugged him immediately and giggled as she said, "I love you!"  Obama laughed too and then he said, "I love you back!"

 

We weren't allowed to move until the President was back in his car so I watched as he continued to make his way down the line and talk to each person.  You would have no idea that this was a person under a tremendous amount of pressure.  On the surface, it could have been a regular Sunday afternoon social event, just hanging out and chatting about life.

 

But we all knew it was more than that.

A Young Boy's Healing Message

Johnny Karlinchak and his neighbor, Elissa Myers
Photo by Bill O'Leary/The Washington Post

When I want to help myself, I do something for someone else.  So does Johnny Karlinchak.

When I'm busy and totally involved in helping someone else, I forget about what is happenng to me. I feel as though I am building good karma for myself and that I am part of something bigger.  Granted, when you are in the throes of grieving, this might not be one of the first thoughts that enters your head, but in trying to feel better about your life, being selfless brings you positive energy and can give you structure and direction at a time when you feel very confused and lost.

Research from Mental Health America indicates that those who consistently help other people experience less depression, greater calm, fewer pains and better health.  They may even live longer.  Helping others has actually been shown to reduce stress.

And that means that eight-year-old Johnny Karlinchak is one mellow dude.

The Washington Post reported yesterday that when the recent summer storms hit the metropolitan Washington, DC area, many were left without power or worse.  The worse in Johnny's neighborhood was that a tree fell on the house of his neighbor and good friend, Elissa Myers.

Johnny never thought twice about what needed to be done for Mrs. Myers and he jumped into action to help her as best he could.  Please read this link to the touching Washington Post story:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/crime/after-storm-springfield-8-year-old-aims-to-help-four-years-after-his-own-loss/2012/07/14/gJQAJTJukW_story.html