Kris Carr's Golden Ticket

I recently wrote about some of the good things I learned about surviving a personal trauma in the ten years after my husband's death (No Lifeguard On Duty).  After that post was published, many people told me they found it helpful to know how things feel ten years after a loss.

 

No matter how crazy and afraid you feel after a loss, it's essential to keep trying to find the support you need until you discover a different way to live.  Even though change is the last thing you want to do, change is possible.  It feels as though nothing will ever go right for you ever again, but that my friends, is a feeling that eventually will pass if you give it some time.

There is always hope.

 

The idea of changing and rebuilding your life, working on personal development or sustaining a lifestyle change over a ten years period is so interesting to me.  How do other people do it?  What keeps them committed to their new way of life?  I was Googling to see if I could find out more about how others mark their personal benchmarks of change when up on the computer screen popped the name of one of my favorite inspirational people: Kris Carr.

 

Photos Courtesy of Kris Carr

 

Kris Carr is truly amazing to me.  I have written about her many times on Cry, Laugh, Heal and never tire of her enthusiastic, original and generous way of approaching life as a person diagnosed with a Stage 4 cancer. 

 

Kris Carr is a New York Times bestselling author and wellness activist who brings you to the idea of change in a best girlfriend, let's do this together kind of way.  Whenever I am in a rut or feel the need to kick myself in the butt to get motivated, I either pick up one of her books or read her blog, Crazy, Sexy Cancer (www.kriscarr.com).  Kris Carr recently went in to the doctor's for her ten year check up and talked about it on Oprah's amazing weekly program called Super Soul Sunday.

 

Please watch this short YouTube clip and listen to Kris Carr talk about her changed life ten years after being diagnosed with the Big C:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5cE3OnOZR4&feature=player_embedded

A Daily Om

We all need a mental health break, don't we?  I just didn't expect to find one downtown in a city park.

While walking down the street yesterday during lunch hour in the downtown area of the nation's capitol, I spied a large white tent set up across the street in a park known as McPherson Square.  The tent reminded me of one of those large white tents that people use at outdoor wedding receptions.  I could only see the back of the tent so, ever the curious one, I walked over to check it out.

Somebody must be promoting something, I thought, but from the first glance of it, I couldn't tell exactly what.

Turns out it was Mental Health; as in come inside the tent and take a rest from your daily work routine or from whatever is happening to you.

When I got closer to the tent, I could see a rather small blue, yellow and white sign saying "Mental Health Break, Noon to 7 pm, May 6."  Yes, I thought, this looks interesting.  The front of the tent was wide open and inside were low white tables and cushions for seating.  Small groups of people were sitting and standing, talking and reading.  Other tables were set up with free goodies such as blue balls that people could hold and squeeze to relieve stress or anxiety, and there also were water bottles along with green tea for drinking.  There was even a photobooth for quick laughs if you wanted to take silly pictures.

 

Children Practicing Yoga
Photo Courtesy The Daily Om

Thanks to The Chicago School of Professional Psychology, which was sponsoring the mental health event, people could also take yoga classes outside of the tent for relaxation under a cluster of trees. A few people taking a class that had already started were either sitting on chairs or sitting on mats with their eyes closed and arms stretched out, palms towards the sun.

It looked so un-DC.

Yet it was a unique concept.  Everything went to improving the human experience and community.

 

Here, a couple of blocks from the White House and The Washington Post, two centers of business that I think most people would associate with stress and hypercompetition, was a place dedicated -- at least for one day -- to finding your inner self and "happy place."

 

I associate, and I'm sure you do too, a mental health break or a mental health day to calling in sick from work.  We've all done it at least once in our work lives or know someone who's done it. Either you've been working on a project or just putting in too many long days and you need a break.  You're not really sick but you know you're going to get sick if you don't take a much needed break.  Thus, the mental health day.

 

 

But this mental health tent was sending a different message from what I could see,  which is: we are all capable of self-care at any time of the day in any place and with some practice, we can learn to  turn down the extraneous volume surrounding us and instead find inner calm and peace.

 

As author and wellness coach Kris Carr has written, "When you understand your mind you can harness its power to achieve more than you imagined possible.  The space between the noise is where God/dess lives.  There are many answers there.  Don't shy away from visiting."

 

Fat Tuesday

Today is Fat Tuesday.

 

For Catholics, today is the last hurrah before lent begins tomorrow.  That is how Mardi Gras come to be.  Essentially, Mardi Gras is French for Fat Tuesday and with Mardi Gras comes some hard partying and parades and good times before Lent begins on Ash Wednesday. 

 

 

 

 

Lent is a time of fasting and serious reflection, a time of giving something up or doing something that's personally hard in order to prepare yourself for the celebration of Easter.

 

This year, once again, my demon is sugar.

 

I know all the bad stuff about sugar and how it is bad for your immune system and how it is highly addictive. Yet, try as I might, during the holidays, I cannot resist the cookies and chocolates that seem to surround me. I tell myself that when the new year arrives I will put the brakes on the sweets but then my birthday arrives in early January and I'm back on the sugar train.

 

The problem is that sugar makes you feel better.  At least it makes me feel better for the moment of that I eat it.  I read somewhere that when you eat sugar, it tells the brain to release dopamine, a chemical that the brain also releases when certain drugs are ingested or when you exercise a lot.  I'm always trying to remind myself about this sugar-brain connection but then I start to think about freshly baked cookies.

 

 

 

 

 

My friend Eileen makes the most outrageously delicious cookies in the whole world and when I see a plate of them offered at get-togethers, there is no way I can resist them.  Her cookies are like potato chips: you can never eat just one.

 

Whenever I think I'm the only one who is out of control about sugar, I pick up Kris Carr's book, Crazy, Sexy Diet, and I go directly to her chapter on sugar.  Here is an except from Carr's chapter entitled, Cupcakes, Coffee & Cocktails:

 

"Look I know firsthand how hard it is to heal addictions.  I come from a scarf-and-barf, drink-too-much history.  Date night with myself was a debaucherous romp into coma-ville.  I'd buy a bunch of cookies and wine, pop the top button of my jeans, and chow down.  Occasionally my higher self would guide me to the trash can before I finished every last crumb.  An hour later my lower self would bark orders to pick through the trash and retrieve the delicious drugs like a back-alley junkie.

 

Elegant people don't dig through the trash.  The chic and stylish don't attack their doughnuts with Windex.  Yes, I admit it.  The only way to keep my paws off the contraband was to blast it with Windex.  Clearly I was out of control."

 

Lent is arriving at the perfect time for me.  I need to be motivated to give up the sugar for an extended period of time and this way I'll be doing it for a higher purpose and a heavenly being.

 

And maybe, just in case, I'll keep the Windex nearby.

 

Self-Empowerment

Good news is always worth sharing and today I have some to share with you.

In February I wrote a blogpost about four friends of mine who are in different stages of battling different types of cancer.

This week I learned that one of them went in for some follow-up tests and the results came back clean!  This is remarkable on so many levels.  This person chose an aggressive course of treatment and has also tried very hard to change the foods he eats, exercise more and even allow less stress into his life!  He is not home free but he is taking better care of himself and that's a big improvement over his past high-fat, sugery, stressed out lifestyle.

The second friend finished her chemo, radiation and reconstructive surgery and is looking and feeling great!  She is truly a "wellness warrior," (to borrow a phrase from Crazy, Sexy Cancer author Kris Carr) and just celebrated a special birthday.  This week I found out she will be walking in a breast cancer fundraiser in October and continues to eat organically, making some pretty mean blender drinks full of fresh fruits and other super vitamin mixtures that make her smoothies the best I've ever tasted!

Another friend has endured two surgeries and is now in a stage of treatment that should last for about a year.  He has a positive point of view about his diagnosis which is SO IMPORTANT and he bought the cutest treat for himself: a beautiful, warm and friendly puppy.  I cannot tell you how much happiness and  just good ole-fashioned comfort this dog brings but I'm so happy this little cutie spaniel is a part of his life.

The fourth person is continuing to pursue a healthy lifestyle but she is also handling other illnesses in her family and I hope that she does not burn herself out.  She is good at know exactly where her limits are and then just stops when she reaches them. She is a big believer in power naps and snoozes during the day to recharge herself.  So smart!

That my report from the cancer front and thank God the news is a good solid home run for now!!!!!

 I am sending blankets of love out to all of them!!!!!!

I have learned from each one of them as they have courageously faced their news and then took charge and learned as much as they could about what was happening to them.

Change is so hard and sometimes we are forced to switch things around when we don"t want to but it is so much better when we decide to become an active participant in our healing rather than standing paralyzed wondering what will happen next.

Reboot Yourself

Kris Carr

Kris Carr is a resource that just keeps on giving.

As an author and wellness coach, Carr has a sassy and down-to-earth style that speaks to me and I find she always helps me reboot my health and wellness priorities whenever I think I am not eating right, exercising enough or stressing my brains out.

As a cancer survivor, Carr draws from her personal experiences and she also draws from the advice of medical and health experts to provide helpful tips on self-care.  I just love her breezy way of explaining the evils of sugar, how to eat well on the run and how to work through those incredible cravings for stuff you know is unhealthy and just chock full of chemicals and fat but taste soooooo good.

In her latest newsletter, Carr takes on the idea of a personal tune-up.  What perfect timing!  I know I am always in need of one.  There is a lot going on in my personal life that others would prefer I not address in my blog and I respect that wish but it has meant that in the last couple of months there is little personal time left over.  I know I am not alone in feeling the crunch of personal and work responsibilities and I see you nodding in agreement. 

 "I don't know about you, but when I'm done with a major project I crave inner and outer tidy time," Carr writes.  "We all do our best when the pressure's on, but sadly self-care often gets the royal flush."  Carr's major project is her latest book, "Crazy Sexy Kitchen."  Here are Carr's fantastic tips:

Inner intentions:

1.  Mindful minutiae.  Rather than making a big production of my spiritual practice and stress management activities, find bite-size calm in the storm.

2. 10-minute workouts a few times per day are enough right now.

3.  Add pineapple to your green juice.  It's a total love-fest!

4.  Cranial sacral transforms my brain.  I've been getting lots of headaches lately and this amazing therapy soothes my noggin'.  It quite literally makes me purr like a cat.

5.  Shallow breathing depletes your health.  Notice your breath, your belly rising; make a conscious effort to take up more space as you (and I ) suck in life-giving, idea-nourishing; love-providing oxygen.

Outer intentions:

1. Clean your desk.  For the love of God, clean your desk.  (I'm speaking to myself...)

2.  Read the deliciously useless young adult book my girlfriend sent.  We share a love of the netherworld and all things supernatural.

3.  Cook (and eat) simply for a week.  Lots of juice, salad, steamed veggies, brown rice, soups, herbal tea, water, water, water.

4.  Spruce up the sheets and get a dark curtain for our bedroom.  We're still in the throws of our massive renovation, so hubby and I are basically sleeping in a tree fort (Not literally.  But let's just say I'm ready to bid farewell to the extremely steep ladder I climb to get to my bed.  And did I mention that our current bedroom is the perfect size if you're a hobbit?)

Nonetheless, sleep is essential.  Enter new organic sheets and total darkness.  When I don't get enough sleeop, my joy comes to a screeching halt.  P.S.  If you have trouble sleeping, magnesium really helps.

5.  And last but not least, I bought a really cool garden book to get a very tiny plot started.  Check it out: "The Gardener's Bible by Edward C. Smith.  This book is so thorough and totally perfect for a newbie like me.

Mojo for 2012

Whenever I find myself straying off the path of being healthy and positive, I go read my Kris Carr books.  Carr, an author, motivational speaker, wellness coach and cancer survivor, is always uplifting for me.  She provides down-to-earth tips on self care along with other insights about living a healthy lifestyle.

To jumpstart your mojo for 2012, try to focus on the priorities in your life and what inspires you.  Don't be afraid to put yourself out there.

Below is a link to a recent post on Kris Carr's website, Crazy, Sexy, Life (http://www.crazysexylife.com/).  While this particular post is from a guest blogger who is a doctor writing to an audience of cancer warriors, I think the post also has some great take away messages for all of us:

http://crazysexylife.com/2011/survivor-tips/

Staying Healthy

I don't think Halloween is considered the beginning of the holiday season, but in an unofficial way it's the start of that time of the year when fattening goodies seem to be everywhere.  It's a constant struggle, and for me, I really have to mentally up the ante against gaining weight and remind myself that it may taste good now but it will take a lot longer to work it off.
 
Halloween is all about the candy and it seems to be everywhere: the grocery store, CVS, offices and even banks -- which never give out anything for free.  At least with Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year's, there are other food groups to choose from when you are celebrating.  But with Halloween comes the introduction of the powerful food/candy/holiday connection that I've always associated with this time of year.  Starting with Halloween, I tend to relax my diet and give myself permission wayyyyyy tooooooo many times to eat sugary things and unfortunately, this sugar party can sometimes last until at least the New Year, if I don't try to put the brakes on it.

Every year I tell myself that it's okay to buy candy to give to the kids in neighborhood and this year I intend to buy only two bags.  Not two bags of something I really, really find tempting like M&M's or Reese's Peanutbutter Cups but two bags of something I dislike.  My way of dealing with the possibility of over indulging is to buy candy I don't like at all.  Yes, I know it's hard to believe, there is such a thing.  I don't like Sweet Tarts, gummy worms or gummy bears, Milky Way bars, Three Musketeer bars, or anything that has caramel in it.

This year my strategy is read a lot of Kris Carr and try to keep myself on some sort of a nutritious track and to exercise more frequently.  If you are not familiar with Kris Carr, she is a cancer survivor, wellness warrior and author of several books, including the best-seller Crazy, Sexy Cancer Tips and Crazy Sexy Diet.  I find her to be refreshing and down to earth and her books are chock full of great factoids such as this one: The U.S. Department of Agriculture has estimated that we eat 79 pounds of corn sweetner per year.  That's a lot of sugar!

When you first eat candy, it initially makes you feel so good and seems to take away feelings of stress, loneliness or anger.  But don't be fooled.  It's a temporary high and in the long run, sugar doesn't help your body or your mind feel stronger or healthier.  It compromises your immune system and with all the holiday socializing that's about to be upon us, we all need to be as healthy as we can be.

As Kris Carr says, we are all sweet enough, all on our own.

Discovering Kris Carr

A relative who is also a close friend was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and she introduced me to the awesome books written by New York Times best-selling author Kris Carr.  I don't know how I missed her but I am now totally taken with her philosophy of assessing your personal priorities in order to successfully battle cancer and become a "wellness warrior."

Carr's blueprint for self-examination helps you to take stock of how much you actually exercise (not enough), what you actually eat (room for improvement) and what you should eat (more veggies) to how much stress (too much) and fun (not enough) exists in your life.  Kris Carr is all about empowerment plus she mixes it up with a fantastic sense of humor using terms such as "cancer posse" to describe those who have helped and supported her since her diagnosis, "CanSer babes" referring to herself and other women united in the battle against cancer and "Froot Loop mentality" noting the lack of nutrition in the standard American diet that is chock full of processed and sugar ridden foods.

I have never been diagnosed with cancer and I pray to God that I never am, but I am also fully aware of the risks of cancer in my family.  Relatives on both my mother and father's side of the family have fought various cancers and sadly, some have lost the fight.

But you don't have to be a cancer patient to appreciate and take advantage of Carr's information.  I immediately found her positive attitude and approach to life incredibly uplifting and was also struck by how adaptable her philosophy could be for people who are in various stages of grieving.  Reading the "Crazy Sexy Cancer" book series could recharge your inner you and perhaps give you a friendly kick in the butt to move yourself forward.  I know it did  for me.

Just to fill you in a bit about Carr, she was diagnosed with a rare and incurable stage 4 cancer in December 2003.  Doctors said chemotherapy, radiation and surgery could not help her.  "This whiskey tango foxtrot moment (that's military lingo for WTF?!) sparked a deep desire in me to stop holding back and start living like I mean it!," Carr said.  She then went on a deep healing pilgrimage and discovered a nutrient dense plant-based diet that put her in remission.

Carr has an amazing talent for crystalizing thoughts about life.  A sentence which immediately jumped off the page for me was: "Catastrophic moments in life force you to focus in on the immediate."  Wow!!  Is that ever true!!!  Everything shifts when you are handling a trauma and things that you once thought were important get deleted from your priority list.  You only have so much energy and you find that it has to be directed towards the catastrophic event in your life, not the things that drain you.

Being diagnosed with cancer is certainly a catastrophic and traumatic moment as is the death of a loved one.  When either of these things sadly occurs, you are feeling so many things at once it's hard to get a grip on what is happening to you.  That is why Carr's take-charge attitude is so helpful.  Ask for help, find help, keep looking for help and eventually your situation has got to improve if not physically, then mentally.

Another sentence in Carr's books that grabbed my attention was: "When you are living like you mean it, you are a force of nature."  It's very difficult in the beginning of grief to live your life like it means anything because you are in pain and have no enthusiasm.  At that point, all the cards have been thrown up in the air and you have no idea which way to go or what to do.  It's enough to throw on some clothes, try to eat and maybe go to the grocery store or call a friend....and sometimes the day turns into a lot of time spent sitting and staring at family pictures and wondering what happened.  That's okay too because it's all part of the healing process. 

Create your own pace and slowly, and I do mean slowly, you will begin to feel that it's possible to put one foot in front of the other and, as Kris Carr says, you will meet yourself and begin a new journey.