Farmer In The Dell

I love farmer's markets.

 

Everything about them fascinates me.  I slow down and totally lose track of time as I enjoy walking from vendor to vendor and talking to each one of them about the unique products they are selling whether it's veggies, fruits, honey, cheeses, breads, soaps or food being cooked to order.

 

Yesterday it truly felt as if the weather had turned a corner and while it was a bit chilly the sun was bright and increasingly warm as the day progressed.  People with their children and dogs and friends and neighbors strolled and chatted each other up at the weekly farmer's market held in the Palisades section of Northwest Washington, DC. 

 

Everybody was just so darn happy to be outside and enjoying the nicer weather!  You could feel the relief in the easy manner of people greeting each other and the slower pace of checking out the market's wares whether it was sampling apples, biscotti, or asking questions about the young herb plants.

 

 

It's kind of similar to everyone having their own lemonade stand and making a go of it with their best products whatever that might be.  Making time for activities you enjoy can be one of the steps you take when rebuilding your life after a loss.  For me, farmer's markets create a healing feeling.  They reinforce for me that we are part of a larger community focused on being supportive and giving back.  Creating extra special karma if you will.

 

That might sound kind of fruit and nutty to you but I like the idea of people making things with their hands whether it is farming or sewing or jewelry and then coming together to share their talents.

 

People selling at farmer's markets always take a lot of pride in what they've made and much of what is sold at farmer's markets is organic or at least pretty close to it and I feel I'm doing my body and brain a favor when I buy healthier more natural foods that are closer to the sources of where they were grown and in my small way I'm also helping an entrepreneur who is trying to run a small business.

I was especially happy to find a vendor selling peach blossoms which are some of my favorite blooms to have in the house during spring and I also bought a few young lettuce plants for myself.

Score!

In Honor Of The Oscars

In honor of the Oscars last night, I'd like to give out a personal award.

Last night's Academy Awards speeches seemed to me to be particularly emotional, expressing the gratitude of recognition, the fulfillment of dreams and deep thanks for the years of incredible support that people received while working on their ground breaking film projects. 

It brought to mind for me the role that others play in our lives during difficult times and reminded me that support groups around the country are on the front lines of our communities, doing the nitty gritty, down and dirty and painful work of helping us put one foot in front of another as we learn to live with the unexpected challenges that life has brings us.

 

In my case, I'd like to give out a personal award, The Best  Support Group award to Widowed Persons Outreach (WPO) located at Sibley Hospital in Washington, DC.  The people at Sibley who run this incredible program are the unsung heros of bereavement work and I'd like to draw the curtains aside a bit to reveal that grief support groups are not strange secretive gatherings of people who wallow in their sorrow and loss.

 

Best Support Group Award

No indeed.  They are groups of compassionate people dealing honestly and directly with the confusion that grief brings.  I spent almost two years as a participating member of the WPO support group and then after leaving the support group I spent many years later as a volunteer trying to give back the unconditional support WPO gave to me.

I learned a tremendous amount from the other widowed members of the group and also the amazing people who ran the group while I was there.  One person I would like to give a shout out to is Julie Potter, a calm and patient woman with so much insight that she reminds me of  a wise Buddha.  WPO taught me how to slowly gather the shattered pieces of myself and figure out how to best to put them back together in a way that gave me worked for me.  The group gave me the strength to help myself and my grieving young son.   

 

Whether it's alcoholism, gambling, overeating, drug addiction or grief, I believe that others who are traveling the same unpredictable path as ourselves can often offer the greatest amount of inspiration.

It may seem slow and incredibly painful but I found that when you sit and share your story with others facing the same issues, there is a sense of relief that you have finally found people who understand the depth of what you are feeling and how hard it is to handle.  In searching for a way to begin healing, support groups offer a safety zone because you find you are not alone in your emotional turmoil. 

 

Many people are uncomfortable with the emotional pain of grief.  As a result, family and friends are sometimes unsure of what to say or how to be helpful.  Support groups are the places where we can let it all hang out, revealing the thoughts and feeling we might not want to tell others because they might not get what we are really telling them.

 

You deserve to talk through your feelings and get them off your chest.  It's all part of starting a healing process.  By letting your emotions come to the surface and then working through them, you acknowledge and face your changed life and find others who are also dealing with the same sorts of issues.

 

Each grief may be individual but you shouldn't feel that you have to handle it all by yourself.  Support groups can be a crucial first step when you find yourself unsure of how to deal with a personal crisis.

It's Snowtime!

After days of hearing the local weather people forecast that lots of snow was headed our way, it really happened!  Flakes began to fall around 7 pm last in Washington, DC and it remained steady throughout last night and continues into this morning.

 

I measured 14 inches of snow outside my door and I have yet to see a snow plow come into my neighborhood.  Oh well. . .  The federal government is shut down and so are schools along with most businesses.

 

Yes, my friends, a day off from work is a healing day!!

 

Here's what my part of the world looks like today:

A Blanket of Snow

Pristine Street
No Snow Plows Yet

Hard to Get Front Door Open When 14 inches of Snow Lay In Its Path
 

Snow In DC

Wow! This time the weather forecasters were right.

 

We got covered in snow in Washington, DC.

 

Many, many times, snow is forecast for our part of the world and then nothing shows up.  The Washington, DC region is a strange weather pocket that seems to create it's own kind of weather which can be that sometimes the air is just not cold enough and the forecasted winter storms come close to us but then miss us.

 

The weather forecast misses wouldn't be so bad but the local news media hype of what is expected to come our way that always accompanies these weather forecast is what can be the most annoying.

 

These forecasts usually cause people to rush to the grocery stores to grab all kinds of stuff because they think they may be socked in their houses for days.  Bread, milk, toilet paper and bottled water are usually the first things to disappear from the shelves.

 

But this time they were right.  And on top of the snow, the weather people are also saying that today we will get hit with some pretty strong winds.  So check in with your neighbors and see how they are doing and let's be careful out there!

Here's a view of what my neighborhood looks like:

The Selling of The Washington Post

There are some stories that I never expected to read in my lifetime.

 

The selling of The Washington Post is one of them.  When I saw the first tweet about this surprising event, I thought I had read it too fast and read the words completely wrong.  I had to go back and read it again a few times before I understood that it was a real story.

 

I just never in a million years thought the Graham family would sell the newspaper that they have owned for decades and generations.  To those of us who live here in Washington, DC, the Grahams are The Washington Post.

 

People are saying and writing that change is good and that selling The Washington Post to Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos for $250 million means that the paper will survive and ultimately, thrive and grow.

 

 

I sure hope so.  I was in sixth or seventh grade when I first started reading The Washington Post.  It was the first newspaper I ever read on a daily basis and even today I continue to have it delivered to my house.  For 20 years, my late husband reported and wrote for The Washington Post and we talked a lot about the crazy, fascinating and annoying things that routinely happened in the newsroom.  The newspaper felt as if it was a part of our family.

 

But whether I like it or not, families change just as many other things in life.  Change is part of life and that's all there is to it.  While the news of The Washington Post being sold is sad and it brought back lots of memories about my husband and the time he spent diligently and creatively working there, no one knows what the next chapter is for The Washington Post.

 

Sometimes as we pass through sad times or even painful times we move into unexpected events, events that we never thought would happen; events that turn out to be positive and good.  But those good things would never have visited us unless we had the pain first and so whatever happens after the pain sometimes feels bittersweet.

 

I hope Jeff Bezos knows the tremendous power of what he bought and treats it with respect.  We as a community at large are hungry for daily independently reported and written information about what is going on around the globe.

Who knows if The Washington Post will even exist a year from now but I really hope that it stays around because opening the front door every morning to read what has been thrown onto my front lawn is a critical tool for understanding and dialogue and it will always pique my curiosity.
 

So You Know You Can Dance!

Everyone can dance.  And they should!

For dancing gets you moving and helps you get rid of the stress and tension you are storing all over your body.  Dancing also helps you heal your soul. 

 

While listening to music, my mind momentarily stops thinking about hurt and pain and frustration as I allow my body to take over and lose itself in the rhythms and sounds of whatever is playing.

 

Dancing is definitely therapeutic!!  And today, in Washington, DC, you can go to The Kennedy Center and dance pretty much all day to your heart's desires.  Or you can do what I intend to do which is dance wherever you are and go with it.

It's National Dance Day, an official and recognized event started in 2010 by Nigel Lythgoe, the co-creator and judge of the television show "So You Think You Can Dance."  His purpose in founding this day was simply to get people dancing and inspire others to get on their feet and move and discover the wonders of dancing as a healthy lifestyle.

 

Lythgoe will be in Los Angeles today for that city's celebration of dance.  Besides DC and LA, there will be performance, tutorials, and flash mobs in Austin, TX, Vail, CO, Montgomery, AL and Rockford, IL, among other locations.

 

The DC event at the Kennedy Center is free and today will feature hip-hop, salsa, modern, Bollywood, flamenco, African, tap and ballet from 1 pm to 11:30 pm.

 

"The whole concept is to have fun, to bring people to dance, to start knocking down the barriers we  build," Lythgoe said.  "You know, you put any piece of music on and a baby starts dancing, just quite naturally.  And somehow we lose that as we get older.  We start to feel embarrassed about ourselves and embarrassed about our bodies."

 

So get up and strut your stuff and boogie all the time for it's great for your body and your sweet, sweet soul!  Here's an oldie from one of my favorite groups, Earth Wind & Fire, singing a hot song, "Boogie Wonderland."  If this doesn't make you move, I don't know what will:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jLGa4X5H2c

 

 

 

Happy Birthday America!

Parades, picnics, cookouts, and the day off from work.  These are just some of the ways we as Americans celebrate the Fourth of July, a day set aside to mark and remember when the United States first declared its independence from Great Britian in 1776!

 

Tonight, in the nation's capital, there will be a spectacular display of fireworks, and I'm sure it will be just as dazzling as it was last year.  It truly is a special event!

Photo Courtesy of Associated Press

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, I hope you have a great day today.  I will be with friends hanging out by their pool and enjoying the time with special people.

Be safe, stress free and sing your heart out when you hear "The Star Spangled Banner." 



The Star Spangled Banner
By Francis Scott Key 1814

Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more!
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Live and Let Live

 

 

Street Sense is a small newspaper which is sold on the streets of Washington, DC by men and women who are working their way out of being homeless.  Some, but not all of the people selling the newspaper, have been to rehabilitation for drugs or alcohol.

 

These are people working hard to develop resilience in themselves, to bounce back from hard times, and put themselves out there once again to start once again to rebuild their lives.  To me, they are all about the spirit of hope.

 

The Street Sense vendors are always friendly and easy to talk to.  They easily share their stories and are always optimistic.  And some of them also write for the paper.

 

In the paper's latest edition, the following short story inspired me about life and the nature of healing and I thought I would share it with you as we begin a new work week.  There's some wisdom in this story below for all of us.

 

 

Live and Let Live

By Phillip Black

Street Sense Vendor

 

When we live and let live, we learn so much from each other.  I've learned that when it comes to hard times and tough situations, most people seem to handle the presure.  And sometimes it makes our lives stronger.  Live and let live.

 

What I mean most about live and let live is that people live their lives, and most people don't understand why other people do the things we do.  You have to consider other people, because what you do or what I do doesn't make it right.  When we live, we must be the best we can be, so others will follow.

 

Two months ago, a good friend of mine's mom passed away.  I couldn't attend the funeral, but went to the repass.  What I saw was very surprising.  They were partying, dancing and laughing.  I asked hin, "What are you doing?  Didn't your mom pass away?"  He said, "Yes, but this is what she wanted."  She didn't want us to mourn her death.  She wanted us to celebrate it.  And that's just what they did.  Wow, live and let live.

 

I also know two people who were neighbors for years, and they would never say hello or speak to each other.  One day, when she saw that someone was breaking inot the other's house, she called the police.  The person was arrested, and everything was ok.  Now they're the best of friends.  It took something bad to happen for them to become friends.  Live and let live.

 

Living and watching other people live helps us.  The same person we don't speak to is the person that drives the school bus that takes our children to and from school.  Live and let live.

 

The same job my uncle wouldn't take, someone else did.  And now he's mad at that person for taking the job that he didn't want.  It took awhile for my uncle to come around.  So I said to him, some people learn faster than others.  You have to live and learn at your own pace.  That way you won't be upset when someone moves ahead of you.  Live and let live.

 

My sister gets upset with me because she said I don't come around anymore.  And so I told her, you're still selling drugs.  That's why I don't come around anymore.  My sister had a pretty rough time in her life.  She always surrounded herself with people who made bad choices.  But now, things are changing for her.  It's not going to happen overnight.  But it's a start.  Live and let live.

 

Understanding living is living.  And we have to live and let live.  And when we do this, our everyday lives will be so much better.  To all my friends on 11th and F streets, and my friends at Eastern Market, live and let live.

A Daily Om

We all need a mental health break, don't we?  I just didn't expect to find one downtown in a city park.

While walking down the street yesterday during lunch hour in the downtown area of the nation's capitol, I spied a large white tent set up across the street in a park known as McPherson Square.  The tent reminded me of one of those large white tents that people use at outdoor wedding receptions.  I could only see the back of the tent so, ever the curious one, I walked over to check it out.

Somebody must be promoting something, I thought, but from the first glance of it, I couldn't tell exactly what.

Turns out it was Mental Health; as in come inside the tent and take a rest from your daily work routine or from whatever is happening to you.

When I got closer to the tent, I could see a rather small blue, yellow and white sign saying "Mental Health Break, Noon to 7 pm, May 6."  Yes, I thought, this looks interesting.  The front of the tent was wide open and inside were low white tables and cushions for seating.  Small groups of people were sitting and standing, talking and reading.  Other tables were set up with free goodies such as blue balls that people could hold and squeeze to relieve stress or anxiety, and there also were water bottles along with green tea for drinking.  There was even a photobooth for quick laughs if you wanted to take silly pictures.

 

Children Practicing Yoga
Photo Courtesy The Daily Om

Thanks to The Chicago School of Professional Psychology, which was sponsoring the mental health event, people could also take yoga classes outside of the tent for relaxation under a cluster of trees. A few people taking a class that had already started were either sitting on chairs or sitting on mats with their eyes closed and arms stretched out, palms towards the sun.

It looked so un-DC.

Yet it was a unique concept.  Everything went to improving the human experience and community.

 

Here, a couple of blocks from the White House and The Washington Post, two centers of business that I think most people would associate with stress and hypercompetition, was a place dedicated -- at least for one day -- to finding your inner self and "happy place."

 

I associate, and I'm sure you do too, a mental health break or a mental health day to calling in sick from work.  We've all done it at least once in our work lives or know someone who's done it. Either you've been working on a project or just putting in too many long days and you need a break.  You're not really sick but you know you're going to get sick if you don't take a much needed break.  Thus, the mental health day.

 

 

But this mental health tent was sending a different message from what I could see,  which is: we are all capable of self-care at any time of the day in any place and with some practice, we can learn to  turn down the extraneous volume surrounding us and instead find inner calm and peace.

 

As author and wellness coach Kris Carr has written, "When you understand your mind you can harness its power to achieve more than you imagined possible.  The space between the noise is where God/dess lives.  There are many answers there.  Don't shy away from visiting."

 

A Beautiful City

This is how the weather works in Washington, DC:  a few days ago I was bundled up in a winter coat and wishing the sharp, chilly wind would die down.  Today, I am walking around the city without a coat and feeling so warm I wish I had shorts and flip flops on.
 

The temperatures in the nation's capital may turn on a dime but it doesn't affect the beauty of the city.

 

And now that it is warmer, I'm taking full advantage of all it's splendor.

Spring in Washington, DC is when you can see the city at its best.  And spending time outdoors in the city right now is so healing.  It is truly a form of stress relief!

Japanese cherry trees in full bloom near the Jefferson Memorial

Between the airy and tranquil blooms of the cherry blossom trees surrounding the Tidal Basin, the bright and cheery daffodils popping out of the grass in the various parks around the city and on the hills of Rock Creek park and the brightly colored tulips spilling over the sidewalk planters; it's hard not to take a deep breath and say, "Finally! Spring is here for sure this time and it feels great!"

 

Being outside in nature makes people instantly feel more alive.  The warmth of the sun on your skin, breathing fresh air in deeply and just looking at natural scenes activates the happy parts of my brain and give me a burst of hopefulness and relaxation.

 

I hope you are able today to go outside and connect to the natural world around you.

 

I bet you'll feel energized!

 

Closeup of Cherry Blossoms

 

 

 

Snowy Surprise

I went to the kitchen window early this morning and expected to see the bare concrete of the sidewalk and instead saw snow covering the ground and all of the surrounding cars and trees.

 

I had heard some talk of snow coming to the Washington, DC area yesterday on the news but the forecasters are usually so far off the mark that I didn't pay attention to their prediction. What do you know? The weather people were actually right this time.

 

So instead of opening the front door and walking outside in my bare feet to grab the newspaper off the front lawn as I usually do, I put on a coat and shoes and stepped carefully through the fresh, powdery snow.

 

I am not much of a snow person but waking up to snow falling is a wonderful, almost cozy surprise and a reminder to me once again that you really never know what the day will bring for you.

 

And I'm also thinking of all those happy children who are waking up and finding out that they don't have to go to school today!

 

Stay warm, dear readers. 

 

Embrace your day and all that it brings!!

Remember Bookstores?

Washington, DC's historic Union Station

I read yesterday that another bookstore -- Barnes & Noble in Union Station -- is biting the dust and it's just incredible to me that a bookstore, in the nation's capitol, in a train station, where you can buy a wide variety of things to read, is closing.

 

I posted about this wonderful book store in December 2011 (Books @ Union Station December 8, 2011) and find it sad that it will soon be closed.  Do people not read books anymore?  I find that hard to believe.  Whenever I'm on Metro people are reading and books are everwhere at the beach. 

 

Maybe Kindles and a rocky economy are the cause.  A Barnes & Noble spokesman told The Washington Post that the company had to leave because of redevelopment around Union Station.  That's another bad idea but I won't even get into that project.  Barnes & Noble was offered a new location but decided instead to close its Union Station store.

 

I'm sure I am showing my age by saying this stuff but I can't help it.

 

I love bookstores.  Books allow your imagination to run wild and escape to other worlds and learn about new things.  Books help you feel you are part of the larger human community and help you heal and become resilient.  You read about others who have experienced the same thing you have and feel less isolated.  Plus, remember that most movies were inspired by a book. 

Buying books online from Amazon just doesn't do it for me.  If I happen to know exactly what book I want, then it's different.  But I can't go on Amazon's website and pick up the book, twirl through the pages, hold it and read random parts of the book so I can decide if I'm going to buy it or not.  Or ask the Amazon website if it has read the book, and if so, what does it think of it?  Hey Amazon, what did you think of this book?  Is is worth reading?

 

I can see myself as an elderly person (which of course is way off in the distant future) with a young child on my lap trying to explain to them what a book store was:

"Really?  You mean there used to be stores and all they had inside were books?"

"Yes, dear, and you could browse among all the books and look at the new titles and the books on sale and sometimes, just by chance, you would find a wonderful book that you never heard of because you spent time reading the covers and talking to other readers."

"Oh, but it sounds like a lot of wasted paper! Think of the trees!"

I used to spend my lunch hour at the Borders bookstore at 18th and L Streets but that closed last year after declaring bankruptcy.   Now there are only two bookstores close to my office: the Barnes & Noble on 12th Street and the independent bookstore, Kramer's, located  at DuPont Circle.

It's In The Bag

Truly, it is the little surprises in life that make a difference!

Kindness can arrive at any time.

 

Or maybe it's just that my standard for smiling is different.  What brings a smile to my face might bring only a shrug to another person.  But I'm going to go with the spontaneous and positive happenings that I find around me!  It's all about the smooth and healing ride of life.

 

I know that negative energy is lurking out there, waiting to nab me, but I am pushing it away because yesterday in Washington, DC it was a beauuuuuuutiful day.  Not a cloud in the sky and the air was clean and crisp.  Oh to play hookey from work.

 

I walked to the farmer's market down the street from my office and saw that fall produce had arrived, full of fresh and nutritious possibilities: leeks, kale, pumpkins and an amazing variety of squashes and beautiful apples.  I love the Honeycrisp apples and they were at the top of my shopping list.  I had forgotten how tasty they were until I ate a few over the weekend.  That tart/sweet taste of the Honeycrisp is addictive.  I needed more!

 

When I reached the cash register, I had an armful of juicy apples and as I placed them on the scale, the guy behind the table asked me if I wanted a bag.  In DC, and now in Maryland, the bag thing is a big deal.  Maryland has actually taken it further than DC.  Most stores now charge you 5 cents for a plastic bag so I try to always have one with me.  It sounds like a small thing but it isn't. 

 

The money from buying the bag goes to cleaning up the neighboring rivers and I'm all for that.  But sometimes I get caught off guard like I did last week when I didn't have a bag with me.  I had just bought some dress slacks at Macy's and wanted to continue shopping at other stores in the Mall so I paid the 5 cents for the plastic bag.  I'm sorry but it just feels weird paying for something we used to get for free.

 

Anywho, I'm at the farmer's market and I hand the guy my recycled paper bag (with handles) and he accidentally rips it.  Rut Ro!  So he gives me a plastic bag which he doesn't charge me for and I'm gathering up my stuff to leave.  As I turn around, this young girl come up to me and pleasantly says, "This is for you." Well lookey loo, it's a new navy blue bag that says FRESHFARM MARKETS, just like the one pictured above.

"How nice of you!  You don't have to do that," I told her. 

"No, no," she said.  "It's okay.  Please take it." 

And I did.  With a big smile.

Now it's my turn to pass it on!

 

A Young Boy's Healing Message

Johnny Karlinchak and his neighbor, Elissa Myers
Photo by Bill O'Leary/The Washington Post

When I want to help myself, I do something for someone else.  So does Johnny Karlinchak.

When I'm busy and totally involved in helping someone else, I forget about what is happenng to me. I feel as though I am building good karma for myself and that I am part of something bigger.  Granted, when you are in the throes of grieving, this might not be one of the first thoughts that enters your head, but in trying to feel better about your life, being selfless brings you positive energy and can give you structure and direction at a time when you feel very confused and lost.

Research from Mental Health America indicates that those who consistently help other people experience less depression, greater calm, fewer pains and better health.  They may even live longer.  Helping others has actually been shown to reduce stress.

And that means that eight-year-old Johnny Karlinchak is one mellow dude.

The Washington Post reported yesterday that when the recent summer storms hit the metropolitan Washington, DC area, many were left without power or worse.  The worse in Johnny's neighborhood was that a tree fell on the house of his neighbor and good friend, Elissa Myers.

Johnny never thought twice about what needed to be done for Mrs. Myers and he jumped into action to help her as best he could.  Please read this link to the touching Washington Post story:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/crime/after-storm-springfield-8-year-old-aims-to-help-four-years-after-his-own-loss/2012/07/14/gJQAJTJukW_story.html

Nora Ephron

Nora Ephron
By Michel Arnaud/Corbis

As the very sad news broke that Nora Ephron had died at the age of 71 from acute myeloid leukemia, it was immediately apparent from reading people's tweets and posted comments that Ephron's death was a tragic surprise and no one wanted to accept the dismal fact that we would no longer be able to look forward to the creation of another amazing, magical piece of work from her.

As Vanity Fair writer David Kamp declared, "...New York without Nora Ephron is just plain wrong."

Her writing was sophisticated yet straightforward and she had a way of cutting through the big boy media noise to insightfully address politics, food, parenting, aging, male/female relationships and the American way of life in general.  She had a zest for life and she never stopped discovering and exploring, talking and collaborating, going for the next project.

I first discovered the multi-talented Nora Ephron back in the '70's when I read her books, "Crazy Salad" and "Scribble Scribble: Notes on the Media."  I immediately loved her smart and funny point of view and I continued to follow her career whether she was writing more books, magazine columns, screenplays or directing movies.

It's hard to pick a favorite of her many movies: Heartburn, Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, You've Got Mail, Silkwood, Julie and Julia but I think I have to go with Heartburn.

Ephron cleverly wrote Heartburn as thinly veiled fiction, telling the tale of her failed marriage to Washington Post reporter Carl Bernstein.  It is a truthful look at falling in love, vulnerability, and resilience.  Bernstein, of the famed Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein Washington Post team which uncovered the Watergate scandal, had an affair with Margaret Jay, the British Ambassador's wife, while he was married to Ephron and she was pregnant with their second child.

Rumors had been floating around Washington, DC about the state of their marriage and people couldn't wait to read Heartburn, which was later made into a movie starring Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson and was filmed in Washington, DC.

Her friends have written about her generosity and happiness and I think that definitely came through in a lot of her work.  She was the kind of woman you wanted to have as a best friend because you got the sense that you could call her and she would immediately understand what you were talking about and then the two of you would talk about it for hours.

Thank you Nora for being your amazing self!! I think this New York Times piece (including pictures) by Alessandra Stanley captures Nora Ephron best:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/28/fashion/nora-ephrons-hollywood-ending.html?_r=1&hp

DC's Bucket List

Katherine Frey/The Washington Post

Washington, DC is my home and I love it, but it is not a particularly creative city.  The nation's capital has many beautiful monuments and museums but as a city it doesn't go out of it's way to nurture artistic talent even though people who live here and visit here crave public art.

Instead, government is the business of this city and one would sometimes think that the only people who work here are faceless bureaucrats, politicians, and lobbyists who blab on television and telephones or stare at computers screens all day with nothing else on their minds except power, money, and votes.  But underneath all of that rhetoric, beats the heart of a real live community of people who fall in love, develop friendships, raise families, and have dreams, goals and aspirations that they want to realize sometime during their lives.

Proof that people will respond if something different is offered to them came yesterday on the front page of the Washington Post.  In a wonderful story written by Maura Judkis, the private wishes of the citizens of Washington, DC became public art.  A blank billboard-sized chalkboard hanging in front of a construction site near Logan Circle was the starting point.  Only three simple words are displayed at the top: "Before I die..."

Almost immediately people starting picking up the colored pieces of chalk left in a basket and started writing and revealing what is important to them.  Some of the comments included: "Say thank-you everyday." "Inspire people" and "Make people feel loved."  Artist Candy Chang, a 2011 TED fellow, conceived of the idea and first brought it to New Orleans.  Just as it did for the people of New Orleans, the chalk board gave people a reason to stop and think about what they want to do for themselves, their families and their neighborhoods.

Here's the link to the Washington Post story so you can check it for yourself:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/in-dc-private-bucket-list-dreams-become-public-art/2012/05/09/gIQAJW2IEU_story.html

Shifting Gears

Hi There Faithful Readers:

I don't have much to say today because yesterday was one of those days when I swear I must have worked every gear possible to make it through the 24 hours that made up Wednesday.

Between being caught in incredible traffic backups caused by an accidents that involved cars and Metrobuses on the way to work and on the way home, I have come to truly believe that Washington, DC is a city full of incompetent, selfish and stupid drivers.  I know that's saying a lot but you try driving in this city and I think you'll agree.

That said, I am confident that today is going to be MUCH improved and that the next 24 hours will be full of efficiency and good manners.  I can always hope can't I?

Ted Olson On Loss & Love

There is no single path on the road to healing and resilience.  Different people take different steps, drawing on their own strengths and what works best for them.  Here is one person's chosen path.... 

Ted Olson on loss and love

 in the decade since 9/11

By Roxanne Roberts and Amy Argetsinger

The Washington Post

9/12/11

 

Ted Olson in his office at Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher last year. (Jahi Chikwendiu/ The Washington Post)

Ted Olson spent his 71st birthday Sunday at his family’s lakeside property in Northern Wisconsin. He was invited to ceremonies marking the anniversary of 9/11 but, after careful consideration, decided not to attend.

“I had to balance between my feeling that I should be at the Pentagon and participate in these public events of memory and remembrance,” he told us Friday. “On the other hand, I also felt it’s so powerfully overwhelming that the best thing I could do is to celebrate my birthday, remember Barbara’s death and celebrate the remainder of our lives with family members away from Washington, D.C.”

Ten years ago, Olson became the most famous person in D.C. to lose a loved one in the terrorist attacks: His wife, conservative commentator Barbara Olson, was on American Airlines Flight 77 when it crashed into the Pentagon. She had delayed a trip to California so she could be in town for his birthday dinner the night before.

Barbara Olson during an appearance on “Larry King Live.” (Ho/Reuters)

Olson had recently been confirmed as the Bush administration’s top lawyer — solicitor general of the United States — and was nationally known as the man who successfully argued the controversial Bush v. Gore election case in front of the Supreme Court.

Before she died, Barbara placed two calls to her husband from the hijacked plane. The terrible news spread within minutes, and Olson immediately became Washington’s face of loss.

“When I appeared in public, I had to stress that I’m not unique . . . unfortunate, tragic things happen to all of us,” he said. “It’s very important to put that in perspective: You’re not the only one that has experienced a terrible tragedy, as thousands of other people did that day.”

Olson said he was determined not to be consumed by his sorrow. His mother, then 81 years old, told him: “Ted, you’ve got to get back on your feet and get out there. You’re a young man.” He went back to work the following Monday and argued his first case as solicitor general three weeks later.

Six months later, he was introduced to Lady Booth, a tax attorney from Chicago. The two began dating and quickly became serious. “I felt that some people would feel that I was moving too fast. Everyone has their own idea about how someone should cope and how much you engage in mourning. I believe Barbara — because she was so passionate about life — would have wanted me to live my life.”

Ted and Lady Olson in 2006. (Philip Bermingham)

The past decade has been filled with personal and professional highs: Since 2006, Olson has been happily married to Booth, his fourth wife. “It’s not easy all the time when people want to talk about Barbara, but [Booth has] been absolutely spectacular and inspirational.” He remained with the administration until 2004, then went into private practice and is considered one of America’s most influential lawyers. He teamed up with former rival David Boies to challenge a California ban on same-sex marriage and, earlier this year, was recognized with the American Bar Association’s highest honor.

On Friday, Olson delivered a speech about 9/11 at the Justice Department, then flew to Wisconsin to spend his birthday with his wife, mother, brother, sister and daughter. “It’s nice to be able to get away from this extraordinary, heavy, nonstop emotional binge taking place this weekend,” he said.

Wisconsin is also where Barbara is buried. It took three months to identify her remains, and he decided the family retreat would be her final resting place. Olson said he would spend Sunday surrounded by the people he loves best.

“Horrible things can happen to you, and horrible things happened to us on September 11,” he concluded. “But if we look for love and happiness and fulfillment, we will find it.”



Pause & Remember

Before the mantra was jobs, jobs, jobs, it was security, security, security.

The security of our nation, the security of our borders, the security of our everyday lives was at the top of the agenda.  No one could do enough to make America safe and secure.  And we were willing to do whatever it took to make it happen: reduced civil liberties, metal detectors and wands, pat downs, no shoes.

A decade later, 9/11 mastermind Osama bin Laden is finally dead as are some of his top operatives.  But how safe are we?

When the 10th anniversary of 9/11 arrives on Sunday, Americans will pause and remember where they were when they first saw or heard the shocking news of the attacks on New York City's Twin Towers, Washington, DC's Pentagon building and the crash of Flight 93 in Shanksville, PA.   

It was a horrific and terrifying day; a day when the unthinkable became reality.

It's a reality playing over and over again this week on television, newspapers, the web and magazine.  I have watched a few television specials this week featuring the live 9/11 footage of the planes crashing, the towers falling and people in NY and DC running to get out of the way of the attacks and find safety.  I think I've seen enough and will probably not watch any more 9/11 television because my memory of those events is clear.  I can flash back to those raw and gritty images all on my own.  The repetition of seeing the events is not a healthy or healing process for me.

Instead, I am looking for stories about people who courageously pushed through their pain and chose to rebuild their lives, turning their losses into the pursuit of a positive cause honoring the memory of the loved one they lost on 9/11.  One touching story that particularly stood out for me is the story of Jack and Lauren Grandcolas.  Lauren, 38, was pregnant when she died on United Flight 93, which was hijacked by the terrorists and crashed in a field near Shankesville, PA.  After battling grief and depression, Jack started a foundation in his wife's name that financially supports a state-of-the-art birthing room at Marin General Hospital in California. 

Here is a link to a short video and story about Jack and Lauren Grandcolas:

http://news.yahoo.com/pregnant-flight-93-victim-honored-by-husband-s-lasting-tribute.html