Delaying The Inevitable

I'm scared of things.  Lots of things.  And there are things that I really don't want to do.

 

But I usually force myself to do them.  Because eventually I know I will probably have to do them all by myself.

 

I could ask other people to do things for me but I always feel silly doing that because I know I can do it for myself.  Besides, by the time I ask someone else to do something for me and I explain what it is that I need done, I could have done it for myself.

 

I try to live my life by making choices that I feel good about but still there are situations I find myself in that I really don't like.  At all.

 

I don't like certain things that happen when I am at home and I don't like certain situations at work.  However, I don't have control over the majority of things I don't like or am scared of so I end up talking to myself and trying to work my way through these potential walls that could possibly make my life very narrow if I let them.

 

Everyone has something they're scared about; it's just that I don't want my "scary things" to stop me from enjoying spontaneous times with friends and family.  I listen to my "scarys" but I try never to act on them.  Last week I was invited to join some friends for dinner in a place I was not familiar with at all and I almost didn't go.

All I could imagine was that I was going to get lost and not know how to get out of where I was or I would make a wrong turn anf find myself driving on 95 heading south towards Richmond.  I really hate getting lost when I am by myself.  I talked to myself about the whole situation and how ridiculous it was to feel that way and then Google mapped my directions and then talked to myself again.

 

And then I went to dinner and had a great time!

 

Life is full of choices.  It's up to you which ones you decide to make.

 

You've got the power!!

 

Positive Vibes

I remind myself every day, all the time in fact, that I have a choice in how I decide to view the world.

 

I can be negative about things, which is self-perpetuating and draining and doesn't really get me anywhere.

 

Or I can choose to think positively about the amazing and beautiful world around us.

 

Positive thinking brings about positive energy which keeps me going and continually connecting with others.

 

Abraham Lincoln once said, "Most folks are about as happy as they choose to be."  Each day, I think it takes a conscious effort to emphasize the positive and disregard the negative.  Open yourself up to the positive vibes of life and try to shut the door on the negative ones. 

Choose happiness day after day.

Get outside and move around.  Get your heart pumping and breathe in fresh air.  Drink in the natural beauty around you.  Studies show that as little as 5 minutes of walking in a natural setting can increase your self-esteem, boost your mood, and slash high-blood pressure, according to Prevention magazine. New research also says that people who are active outdoors exercise longer than those who work out inside only.

As we move into a long holiday weekend (YEAH!!), please check out this beautifully photographed video about Mother Earth and her amazing resources.  We really do live on an incredible planet! 

Please enjoy the video which was made by the people who wrote The Secret and the calming music was composed for the clip by Jo Blakenburg.

 

24 Hours

Sometimes rebuilding your life is just plain hard.  Today's choices are not the choices I want and, try as I might, I can't steer things to go in the direction I want.

This post is not about whining.  That would be unproductive.  Instead, this post is about how I still need to work on being patient.  Life is about grabbing opportunities but then it is about dealing with what it feels like when the opporunity doesn't work out the way you planned.  It's about the twists and turns of life and how I need to get better at accepting and working through stuff I don't want.  I try to stay positive and I try to break situations down so that I am not overwhelmed but honestly there are just times when life is terribly frustrating.

And that's all there is too it.

I need to prioritize and keep in mind what is really important: namely good health.  I cannot stress myself out about things that remind me of another time; a time when I was a wife, a time when I didn't have to take care of everything myself.

Backyard Garden By Kino

Today I did reach out to others for help and that made things a bit better but I wanted to talk longer and I couldn't since work was on my desk and needed to be finished. Needless to say, I couldn't wait to get home and put the day behind me.

Then just as I reached the front door of my house, ready to close the door on the day's events, I opened the storm door and surprise, surprise...two unexpected gifts awaited me: a great friend had left a bag of plump juicy tomatoes from her garden (so yummy for dinner!!) and a bag of books to read!!

Bahama Mama...Jump Back Jack...You just never know....

Changing Up Thanksgiving?

A Thanksgiving Cookout?

Most people don't want to try something new for Thanksgiving dinner.  They usually want the same food that has been served to them at every Thanksgiving dinner since they were a child because it's comforting and to them, it defines Thanksgiving dinner.  It's all about tradition.

And there's nothing wrong with tradition.  But life can also be about surprises and choices.  Maybe you have some Thanksgiving or other holiday ritual you'd like to eliminate or introduce.  That's why I like the following column....

Make Your Own Thanksgiving

Is it time to make your own Thanksgiving traditions?

by Michele Woodward

Published on November 24, 2010

This week I've been thinking about money.

And how so many people get all weird and wobbly when it comes to talking about it. Asking for it. Having it at all.

And it's interesting that they way our parents and grandparents handled money probably affects the way we handle money. I think about the woman whose immigrant parents struggled and sacrificed and lived in poverty. And now, even though she makes a million dollars a year, she hoards paper towels and soup... just in case.

Or the guy whose dad was a dreamer and a schemer. When they had money, they spent it - lavish dinners, fancy trips, stylish clothes. And when they had no money, they fantasized about how they'd spend it once it came back. Today, this guy has no savings and wonders what happens to his cash.

Last year I wrote When Gifts Become Junk - just because someone gives you a gift, like a legacy around money, you don't have to take it.

It's kind of like Thanksgiving.

I remember the first time I had to cook Thanksgiving on my own. I planned to carefully replicate the traditional family menu, but then ran into a little blip. Where my family had bread-and-oyster dressing, heavy on the sage, his family had cornbread dressing with plenty of celery and onion. My family was mashed potatoes, his was rice. Ours was brown gravy. His had hard-boiled eggs floating in a yellow gravy.

We each had our own idea of What Thanksgiving Is and What One Must Consume So It Is Truly Thanksgiving. Compromise felt like loss.

Oh, I come by the feeling of What It Should Be quite naturally - another family legacy. I remember my mother preparing Thanksgiving when I was a child. She looked at our loaded table and would always say, "You know, my grandmother would have chicken and dumplings, ham, turkey, fried chicken, and four different kinds of pie...this just doesn't seem like Thanksgiving to me." The fact that we had ham and turkey and three pies - never lived up to what Thanksgiving Should Be.

What a struggle. It's the tension between fantasy and reality, really. It's the tightrope of being present right here and now, and living in a storied and maybe flawed recollection of a "better time." It's an oppressive and unrealistic burden because the past you're trying to match was probably not as wonderful as you recall. It probably wasn't any more happy than you can make today.

So to be firmly here in the present, and living a happy life, there comes a point when you simply choose to make your own Thanksgiving.

Take a look at the heritage of your forebears and decide what you want to consciously take forward with you in your own life. It is absolutely OK - hey, it's more than OK, it's imperative - to decide whether you want to continue with the tiny marshmallows on the top of the super sweet potatoes, or go a bit healthier and replace that traditional dish with, oh, steamed broccoli.

You create your own traditions, not because what your parents and grandparents did was wrong. It may have been really right. For them. At that time. But now, it's your life. You can create your own way of being in the world, darling, because you are you - not them.

Look at the legacies gifted to you by your parents and grandparents - around money, around relationships, around body image, around holidays - and decide: "Is this what I want for myself? Does this make me happy, or give me stress?"

If a tradition works for you, and makes you very, very happy - then keep it. If a tradition feels like a heavy obligation, and makes you very, very stressed - then it's time to lovingly let that relic go.

Feel free to make your own menu, and it will be your own Thanksgiving. Every single celebratory day.