It's A New Day

Photo By Jonny Valiant

I'm not making resolutions for 2013.

 

I feel when I do make resolutions that I'm setting myself up to feel bad if I don't stay true to the resolution, no matter what it is.

 

Instead, my goal is to try and treat each day as if it were a "new year" and do my best.  I expect that sometimes I will achieve my best in those twenty-four hours and sometimes I will not come even close.

 

But the next day will be a new day and an opportunity to try once again to put myself out there!

 

My inspiration for today is the following quote from one of my favorite authors:

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself!

                                 ~ Anna Quindlen, Pulitzer Prize winning jounalist and bestselling author

Getting A Life

"Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger paycheck, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast? Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze over Seaside Heights, a life in which you stop and watch how a red-tailed hawk circles over the water gap or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a cheerio with her thumb and first finger.

Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Each time you look at your diploma, remember that you are still a student, still learning how to best treasure your connection to others. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Write a letter. Kiss your Mom. Hug your Dad. Get a life in which you are generous."

 

                                             ~ Excerpt from Anna Quindlen's Villanova Commencement Speech, 2000

 

 

 

Baby Practices Picking Up Cheerios

 

 

I worked a few hours in the office yesterday and then was able to leave early.  I didn't feel guilty at all about cutting the work day short.  I was looking forward to meeting my son at the movies.  We saw "Les Miserables" and I enjoyed it but I prefer the stage version of the iconic story about the French Revolution.

 

While waiting in the lobby, I let my mind wander and watched the cold, rainy weather outside.  I could feel my shoulders relax as I looked up at the clear slanted ceiling and my eyes followed the sliding raindrops down the glass.  After a few minutes, my mind seemed to empty of office concerns and I starting thinking about the importance of mentally and physically breaking from my work schedule.

 

I could work all the time if I wanted to.  Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with work and I am happy to have my job.  I have a strong work ethic and get a lot of satisfaction from doing my job and doing it well.  But there comes a point when you need to recharge and you can't do that if you are always working and always pushing yourself to do more work.

I find that working constantly starts to make me inefficient.  I start to get tired, I get headaches easily and I start to answer people in a short manner.   When I start experiencing those symptoms, I know it's time to take a break and do some of the things that Anna Quindlen suggests in her quote above: pick up the phone, call a friend or a family member, write an email, connect with another person.

I need to work to support myself financially but I also need to remember -- especially during the holidays -- to take a break and enjoy the treasures of my life.
 

Home Sweet Home

 

 

Yesterday was a well needed luxury: a whole day spent at home.

 

I have not had one of those days for months and I really needed it.  A day to catch my breath and try to put things back in place.  A day with no schedule.  A day of waiting for Hurricane Sandy to slam into the East Coast so I didn't feel bad about staying inside and tending to my nest. 

 

Recently, there has been so many medical developments going on in my family that my time has been spent on more important things.  As a result, the house is definitely what you might politely call disheveled.  I am not complaining; just explaining that I am one of those people who believe that house chores will always be there, but the people that you care about will not.

 

So while the wind and rain swirled around my neighborhood, I found it was the perfect time to go through the many mini piles of papers that have been sitting on the dining room table.

In the middle of one pile of magazines and opened mail I had yet to file, I came across an old Parade magazine I had saved because it had an excerpt from a new book written by Anna Quindlen.  Quindlen is a best selling author and won a Pulitzer Prize in 1992 for her New York Times column, Public and Private.  Quindlen's new book is titled, Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake.  I love Anna Quindlen because she is a beautiful and insightful writer and is always able to wisely put her finger on the core meaning of many of life's common yet bewildering situations.

 

In this case, Quindlen addresses stuff.  You know, the common stuff that surrounds us; the stuff that keeps piling up.  As in Americans' need for stuff and how material goods innocently creep into your house and then one day you discover you are buried under an emormous amount of things you really no longer want.

 

How timely that I should find this story as I am trying to get rid of stuff in my own house!!  There's a message here for me and as the holidays approach, I know I've got to get rid of things that I don't use.  If you aren't familiar with Quindlen's work, please allow me to share some of her sage advice from Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake:

 

--"At some point desire and need became untethered in our lives, and shopping became a competitive sport.  It was generally agreed in our family that my grandmother Quindlen was a world-class shopper, but for her, there was always an object to the hunt: a Hitchcock chair, a pair of Naturalizer pumps.  Sometimes I feel as though credit cards have helped us concentrate on quantity, not quality.  Plastic is magical, as though the bill will never come due."

 

--Statisticians say our houses are almost twice as large, on average, as they were 40 years ago, but we all understand that that doesn't mean the people inside are any more content.  Now that I'm nearing 60, I understand the truth about possessions, that they mean or prove or solve nothing. Stuff is not salvation."

--"There was a period when I believed stuff meant something. I thought that if you had matching side chairs and a sofa that harmonized and some beautiful lamps to light them, you would have a home, that elegance signaled happiness.  I fooled myself into thinking House Beautiful should be subtitled Life Wonderful.

Amen, Anna!

Class of 2012

For the past week or so I have been happily reading the Facebook postings of friends writing about their children's graduations from college.  It's an exciting time for all of my friends and their children and I congratulate all on reaching Diploma Day!

Now this weekend it's my turn and I really can't believe it.  It's feels as though life is on fast forward and I intend to hang on and enjoy the ride.

I am reading the commencement letter outlining Fordham University's May 18 and 19 graduation ceremonies and already I'm feeling a mix of conflicting emotions.  My son is really and truly going to graduate from college.  Wow!  Part of me wonders how this day arrived so quickly and the other part of me says of course it's time for him to graduate.  Part of me is relieved that I don't have to worry about those monthly payments any more (a lot of pasta was eaten to stay in the budget) and the other part will miss traveling to New York City for occasional weekend visits.

It's all part of life's super duper fantastical adventure and I'm just going to roll with it.  I am going to stay in the moment and not think about how wonderful it would be if my son's father were here to see him accept his diploma.  I know he's as proud of our son as I am and I'm sure he has played an important but invisible role in guiding our son to this amazing day.  He will surely be with us in spirit and loving every minute of the graduation ceremony.

The only advice advice I want to pass along to my son and this year's graduates is this: friends and family make your world go round and make sure that whatever you do, you do it with passion.

About ten years ago, Pulitzer Prize winner and bestselling author Anna Quindlen gave the commenment speech at Villanova.  It's no surprise that her speech was superb and every once in while I will take it off my bulletin board and read it for inspiration.  Here a little bit of Quindlen's insightful speech:

"So here's what I wanted to tell you today: get a life.  A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger paycheck, the larger house.  Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurism one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast?"

"Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze over Seaside Heights, a life in which you stop and watch how a red-tailed hawk circles over the watergap or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a Cheerio with her thumb and first finger."

"Get a life in which you are not alone.  Find people you love, and who love you.  And remember that love is nor leisure, it is work."

"Each time you look at your diploma, remember that you are still a student, still learning how to best treasure your connection to others.  Pick up the phone.  Send an email.  Write a letter. Kiss your Mom.  Hug your Dad.

Get a life in which you are generous.  Look around at the azaleas in the suburban neighborhood where you gew up; look at a full moon hanging silver in a black, black sky on a cold night.  And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted."

Congratulations Class of 2012!!!!

You Did It!!!

Now Show Us What You've Got!!!!