Sentimental Christmas Stockings

Stockings Belonging to Daddy, Mommy & R

 

 

" . . . And the stockings were hung by the chimney with care;

 In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. . ."

From "Twas The Night Before Christmas"
By Clement Clarke Moore

 

 

These  are our sentimental Christmas stockings, hung on our fireplace every year, in hopes that Santa Claus will think we have been good and fill them with lots of treats.

 

I know they are a bit on the tacky side but they represent a lot of good feelings and great memories.

 

They don't match each other or the living room where they hang and certainly don't look like those hip and elegant stockings you see in the Pottery Barn catalogue or stockings you may see in the display windows of Sak's or Macy's but they are our Christmas stockings and we love them.

 

My son picked them out all by himself when he was five years old.  The Santa Claus stocking was for his father, the gingerbread one is for me, his mom, and the Christmas tree is for him.  I remember watching him in the store looking at all the different choices of Christmas stockings and at first I think he was a little overwhelmed.

 

He walked around and around and kept looking and picking up all the different stockings and then decided on these three.  He had such a big smile on his face when he handed them to me and was so excited that we were actually going to buy the ones he chose.

 

Every year he looks forward to hanging them up on the fireplace, even the Christmas after his father died.

 

I wasn't going to put decorations up that year because, well because, it was enough for me to get out of bed and form a complete sentence never mind dealing with Christmas decorations.  But my son insisted we get a tree and put up the rest of decorations. 

 

All that I did was buy the tree and bring the boxes down from the attic.  My son and a wonderful friend of his did the rest.  I was in and out of the room while they were working and placing the decorations anywhere they wanted.  I really didn't care what it looked like.

 

I do remember coming into the room when my son opened up the box containing the Christmas stockings and I sortof held my breath to see if he would hang two stockings or three.  At that time, my son had a lot of anger about his father which was perfectly normal.  He was angry that his father had died, that his father had left him, that his father hadn't made better health decisions and he was angry that it was Christmas and his father wasn't there. 

 

I felt a lot of these things too but there's a big difference between an adult dealing with those thoughts and feelings and a thirteen-year-old boy.

 

I watched as he held the stockings and walked towards the fireplace.  I truly expected to see him hang only two, but then he surprised me and put up all three.  He didn't say anything and neither did I.

 

It's been quite a journey since that very first Christmas after his father's death.  I admire how my son has handled this difficult situation and the adult that he has become.  He is amazing!

 

My son still loves Christmas and EVERYTHING associated with it.

 

And every year, he still always hangs three stockings.

 

Being All In

 

 

 

 

 

This holiday season, I am appreciating the endless decorations of bows, bells and evergreens, listening to the traditional Christmas music that seems to be playing everywhere and trying to find wonderful presents for those that I love.

 

I've been to a few Christmas parties and also donated to schools and other groups who are dependent upon help from others so that they may continue their community work that is so crucial to helping men, women and children who are homeless and without a place to go for regular shelter and meals.

 

I am trying to give of myself and think positive thoughts because I know if I put myself in that mindset then I will act positively and carry on in a meaningful way.

 

I know there is no right or wrong way to celebrate the holidays, there is just what we are comfortable with and what we feel is right for ourselves.

 

But I still don't feel that I'm "all in" to the Christmas spirit.

 

Maybe I'm overthinking it and I should just allow it to happen rather than wondering why I don't particularly feel it.  I'm not sure.

 

Maybe it's that I feel emotionally spent by personal situations where I am constantly trying to be supportive but it doesn't seem to be making a difference.  That is a hard one.  I think we all have come up against that kind of situation.  I am trying my best, and so are others, but at a certain point, you can only do so much.

 

I guess at the end of the day, it's really all about love.

 

How are you feeling this holiday season?

The Circle of Life

It's the holiday season and wreaths are everywhere.  Doors, windows, large buildings and small, I see them indoors and outdoors, even on trucks and cars.  Evergreens, berries, pinecones, and magnolia leaves, the materials that wreaths are made of today seem endless.  If they're not chock full of tacky plastic stuff, wreaths are welcoming signs, hopeful signs and even peaceful signs.

Wreaths are also a sign of faith in humanity and its circular shape represents eternity, for a wreath has no beginning and no end.   Wreaths have been with us since the ancient Greeks and Romans when wreaths were awarded to victors in sporting events.  Today, Christians continue the tradition of using wreaths for special occasions by displaying Advent wreaths in their homes at Christmas time.  Advent wreaths have four candles: three purple and one pink and one candle is lit each week of Advent with a prayer to help prepare for Christ's birth on Christmas.  In Scandanavia, wreaths feature candles as a sign of hope for the future light of spring.

  

I always hang a wreath on my front door every Christmas and my sister, who is excellent at making bows, makes a new bow for me every couple of years.  Besides my home, I also always buy a wreath to decorate my husband's gravesite marker.  Lots of people do this.  It's not a strange or weird thing to do at all.  A few years ago, I remember the New York Times ran a story on this subject.  The story wrote about a cemetary in Los Angeles and said that decorating a loved one's grave site is now a "populist yuletide ritual" practiced by thousands of Americans.  

I know that it's definitely true in my little area of the world because the cemetary where my husband is buried looks like some kind of extreme Christmas decorating set out of HGTV.  Driving through the gates, I see all sorts of wreaths decorated in every single color you can imagine and these wreaths lay side-by-side with small Christmas trees and other decorations that signify the season of Christmas and bring comfort to people during this time of year.  My wreath is rather plain compared to the others but I don't care.  It's just a traditional wreath made from greens with a big red bow but it looks great to me

I have a small metal stand that the wreath lays on and then I wire the wreath to the stand to withstand exposure to the animals and the winter elements.  I like to do this because it's my way of wishing my husband a Merry Christmas and while I am setting it all up I like to talk to him about what's been going on.  I'm sure he probably already knows about the things I tell him, but I do it anyway because I like to talk to him when I am there.

If no one is around, I just talk out loud about what's happening to me, what's happening with his children, and generally the things we would normally talk about.  This past Sunday, the sun was shining and the ground was soft as I set up my husband's wreath for another Christmas celebration.  As usual I talked on and on about everything.  I'm sure he was covering his ears at a certain point and probably was thankful when I stopped talking.

To those of you who have never done this or even thought about doing it, it may seem strange to decorate a grave site and sustain a one-sided conversation with someone who is not physically present.  Rest assured, it is not unusual.  You may eventually find yourself doing it someday.  It will make you feel better as it makes me feel better.  You'll be connecting with someone you love and care about and that's what the season of Christmas is about.

In case you are interested, here is the link to the New York Times story:

www.nytimes.com/2007/12/23/us/23grave.html?pagewanted=all