40 Ways To Lose The Clutter

No matter how hard I try to keep my stuff under control somehow it doesn't behave.

 

Day by day I try to throw out papers, mail, and other stuff that has outlived its welcome but still there is always more stuff to deal with or organize.  Not all of it is important stuff, but still it's stuff that I don't want to buy again.  Here's my fear and maybe you can identify with it: once I throw out certain things, I'll find I immediately need it.

 

Sweet readers, what is a person to do?  How do you deal with your stuff? Or maybe the stuff that a loved one left for you deal with?

 

I guess I am emotionally connected to my stuff.  I admit it.  And I know what I'm supposed to do to stay on top of my clutter game.  I'm familiar with most of the tricks for getting rid of my unruly stuff: donate it to someone who can really make use of it, give it to a friend or relative, take a picture of it, or sell it online or at a tag sale.

 

 

 

But I can't always get myself to do those things.  One of my great friends must be a mind reader because this week she sent me this timely post from a blog, White House Black Shutters (www.whitehouseblackshutters.com) about decluttering and within the story is a link that takes you to a schedule you can print out for 40 days of getting the stuff out of your house (one schedule has dates and one is blank so you can make your own schedule).

 

I like Ann Marie's idea of keeping track of when and how much stuff you are throwing out because then I (or we) can go back and actually confirm for ourselves that yes indeed we did get rid of a lot that was hanging around and causing trouble.  Simplifying is the name of the game; not just to make room in our homes but also to set ourselves free from the burden of having too much stuff.

 

I think we've all had it with winter weather and we're  ready to open the windows and let the slightly chilly yet fresh air in.  Decluttering isn't fun but I think it can be rewarding for it helps me find more space, and light and order which is always a good thing.

 

As Ann Marie says, you could fill 40 boxes, 40 bags (of any size) or 40 trashcans but it really doesn't matter whether you hit the target of 40 or not.  Forty days of focusing on different areas of the house and really focusing on sweeping it out will take us right into Spring, which traditionally is always a time of renewal.

Good luck and here's the link to the White House Black Shutters post on 40 ways to lose your clutter:

http://www.whitehouseblackshutters.com/40-bags-in-40-days-2014/

Making A New Bedroom

On the weekends, I like to try and organize myself.

Sometimes I succeed in my de-clutter efforts and sometimes I don't.  During the work week, I have a very bad habit of throwing clothes and papers into piles.  By the time the weekend rolls around, I know I have to deal with the piles and hang stuff up and throw things away.

 

This past weekend marked a milestone for me because I just had my bedroom painted and most of the stuff that was under my bed,  hanging on wall and door hooks and on top of my furniture was in another room.

Just typing that sentence is a big deal.  It's my bedroom; not our bedroom.  I am taking a big leap by changing the room and making it look different than it did when my husband was alive.  Not that the room looked all that great when my husband was alive but it was ours and it was comfortable.

 

This was my opportunity to practice what I am always writing about: to embrace your life and move forward.

I was going to paint the room myself last summer but something always seemed to happen and I never got around to it.  Other rooms in the house have changed since my husband's death but this one has remained essentially the same.  I enter the room but I never really look at it or spend any time in it.  I usually go to my bedroom when it's time to sleep or change my clothes but I don't go there to hang out and say, read a book, or talk on the phone because there are too many memories there.

 

Now, nine years later, after all this time, I finally realized I had to make it a different room.  Otherwise, it would always be "our" room and that would be rather silly since my husband died.  I didn't even put any of my clothes in the drawers on the other side of the bureau because those once belonged to him.  It didn't feel right putting my things in his drawers.  But last year, I slowly started taking over all the drawers (it felt weird at first) and I must admit I am thankful for the extra space.

It was a gradual decision to change the room.  Over the past year, I found it was getting be a real downer to be in the room because here I was trying hard to rebuild my life and move forward yet when I came into my bedroom it was stuck in time.  I had flashbacks to our time together and I loved the memories, yet I knew that I would still have the memories even if I painted the room, bought a new bedspread and pillows and moved the furniture around.

Of course, this didn't come to me all at once.  It took awhile for me to push myself to do this.

Even though it was hard to do, I am now glad, and actually sort of relieved, that I am changing my bedroom because now it feels fresh and renewed.  It's okay to give yourself as much time as you need to feel comfortable with whatever changes you make in your life after you lose a loved one.  You know how it feels and you know when you are ready to think about your life in a different way.

It's not sad to change.   It just means that I am taking what has happened to me and learning how to blend it into my present life in a positive way.  I'm not leaving my husband behind because that's not possible. 

But I've come to the point where I realize it's okay to make new memories for myself.
 

What Are You Thinking?

Following-up to yesterday's post about writing as a way to process your thoughts and emotions, I just wanted to add a few quick thoughts.

 

We want and need to connect to each other because we are human.  Reaching out to one another, expressing our thoughts and emotions is essential.

Otherwise, we are isolated and afraid; cut off from human interaction and we don't allow ourselves to have the opportunity to grow or change.  We are just lost in our own thoughts as though we are watching the same video on a loop tape.  Over and over again.  Stuck.

At a certain point in my grief journey, I felt stuck.  I was sick of my grief feelings.  I was tired of feeling the pain.  I was tired of my whole outlook on life.  I wanted life to be the way that it used to be, even when my husband was sick.  At least he was still with me and we could talk to each other.

But I knew life wasn't going to go backwards for me so I had to find a way to get myself in gear and go forward.  I also knew that if I felt this way, then others must feel the same way too.  I know I am not alone in my feelings and by writing about what helps me, I hope I am helping others who are dealing with a loss.

Writing or journaling is one way to express your innermost thoughts and process all the complex emotions you are feeling.  I will be honest with you: it is hard to examine your thoughts.  Sometimes they are not pretty.  You are examining why you feel the way you do and that helps you get to know what gives meaning to your life.

Lots of people keep diaries and journals to record their thoughts and to stay in touch with what is happening to them.  Even presidents keep diaries.

I was pleasantly surprised to read in a recent Time magazine article that President Obama routinely scribbles down his thoughts and uses writing as a way to chart his way forward and cope with the stresses of his all-consuming 24/7 mega-stressful job.

"In my life, writing has been an important exercise to clarify what I believe, what I see, what I care about, what my deepest values are," Obama said in the Time magazine interview.  "The process of converting a jumble of thoughts into coherent sentences makes you ask tougher questions."
 

Fab Friday

What can I say except that I am oh so very glad that today is Friday!!

It's the end of a work week that has no word to describe it.

Could it be that as the year is coming to an end, people are looking at the calendar and suddenly deciding they want to wrap up their business concerns or invoices?  Could it be the whole "fiscal cliff " fiasco?  I don't know but whatever it is, this week has been incredibly freakin' busy.

I arrive in the office thinking it's going to be one kind of day and then it ends up being another kind of day.  What do you call that kind of dynamic?  You know, the kind of day when every activity starts to blend into the next one and you just try to ride the mojo.

People In Motion
By Yael Mann

I'm happy to have my job but this week stands out for the increased pace.

 

This is also the time of year when I think to myself, "Why didn't you start some of your Christmas shopping in November?"  I truly admire those people who are able to start Christmas projects months ahead of time and then store them away for the holidays.  Or the people who start baking weeks ahead of time and then take comfort in all the goodies that have in the freezer ready just in time for holiday parties.

 

Organization is at the top of my list of things to do this weekend and maybe some exercise to burn off the extra calories I have been indulging in during December.

 

What are your weekend plans?