Movement As Medicine

When I spend too much time in front of the computer or television I don't feel right.

I don't feel as if my body and mind are working together as they were designed to do, and when this happens I know it's a signal for me to get up off my inactive butt and do something physical.

As in get the heart pumping and break a sweat.

 

It doesn't matter what you do, just get up and move.  Exercise anywhere and everywhere.

 

 

Exercise is a gift you give yourself because it can reduce anxiety, clear toxins from your system and just clear your mind and give you a fresh outlook on your day.  Even when I don't want to exercise, I convince myself to do some kind of activity because I always feel like a new person when I do.  Always!  It's amazing!

 

Our bodies are designed for movement.  Dance. Walk. Garden. Stretch. Play a sport.  Run.  It all works!

 

Here is a recent inspiring story from The Washington Post about the mental and physical benefits of exercise classes that a group of people diagnosed with Parkinson's take on a regular basis.  As the author, Lenny Bernstein, writes, "Here, exercise is therapy, perhaps no match for Parkinson's disease over the two decades that it generally inflicts misery on its 1 million victims, but certainly a dose of nonprescriptive relief in the short term."

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/wellness/dance-for-parkinsons-disease-movement-as-medicine/2013/07/02/77b57ffe-df63-11e2-b2d4-ea6d8f477a01_story.html

Seeking Support

Having spent almost two years going to group grief counseling sessions, I am a big believer in talking about the issues you need help with.

Whether it's grief, drug or alcohol addiction, weight issues or marriage problems, talking can help because you are taking your issues out of the dark and shining light on them for everyone to see.  You're not hiding your issues and acting as though everything is okay and being handled well. 

The idea of being part of a support group can seem very intimidating. It was not an easy decision for me: in talking about my pain, it was almost as though I was reliving it. But I was sick of the pain and it wasn't going away. I don't think I thought about what would happen when I began to talk about my emotional, painful and raw emotions to a group of strangers. You are opening up your heart, making yourself vulnerable and saying "I am so messed up right now. Please listen and support me."

I was really nervous when I went by myself to my first counseling session, totally unsure of what was going to happen.  But I think I am speaking for myself and definitely others when I say that it usually takes you a long time to decide that you need to go and receive counseling in the first place, so by the time you finally find a person or place that you trust and feel comfortable with, you are ready to participate.  I would have stayed in the group longer but one of the rules of the group was that you could only belong for two years.

 

In a surprising way, I found it freeing to be with other people who have experienced loss and listen to their stories and talk about feelings, thoughts, actions or regrets that were on the top of our minds.  There was a lot I didn't have to explain when I was talking about my loss.  I looked into the eyes of others in the group and could see that most people understood exactly what I was talking about and might have also felt it for themselves at some point.   We were there to get better and we were there because we know we needed help and guidance to get back to a place in our lives where it didn't hurt so much.

My first session was about two hours and there were about 12 people.  Two people who are trained therapists led the group's discussions and offered topics for us to think about from week to week. 

We started by introducing ourselves and giving a little bit of information as to why we were there in the counseling session.  When it was my turn, I started to introduce myself and my story and then I started to cry.  It was unexpected for I really thought I would be okay and could at least get through an introduction.  But no luck.  The group gave me the best response:  silence, a box of tissues and as much time as I need to get myself under control and let me speak about myself.

 

This may sound obvious but you can't go to individual or group counseling if you don't think you have a problem or if you think that counseling is shameful or humiliating.

Support groups can work well because each person is experiencing the same difficulty in their life even though each person may be handling it differently.  For me, it took away some of the feelings of aloneness and isolation. 

But the real work of group counseling happens between sessions when you are out in the real world and trying to use your new information to bring about change.  The group can guide you and give you support but ultimately it's up to you to figure out how to make it work.  Just like many things in life, you get out of it what you put into it.

Whether it's group counseling or one-on-one couseling, either way I hope you find an outlet for your pain.  Congratulations for being willing to take the important step of reaching out to others for support.

Best of luck to all!!

 

FullSet -- A Hot Irish Band

I just discovered the infectious and energetic sounds of an Irish band called FullSet, recently named "New Group of the Year" for 2012 by the Live Ireland Music Awards.

Just listening to their music makes me feel better!

 

Music definitely has healing powers and therapists have found that music's curative powers can alleviate pain and help not only those of us recovering from a loss but also people recovering from strokes and other medical traumas. 

 

Music unlocks differents parts of the brain depending on the music's pitch, harmony or rhythm and provides a medium for creative expression whether your are creating it, making it, singing along to it or just listening and dancing to it. 

And seein' as we're starting to roll into a weekend that will be marked by days of celebrations for St. Patrick's Day, listening to FullSet will definitely get you into the right mood. 

 

It doesn't matter whether you have a drop of Irish blood in you or not, I guarantee that FullSet's music will make your foot start tapping, your hands start clapping and your heart feelin' a whole lot lighter!

Take it away FullSet:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Bpg9Jznq3RU

 

 

 

28 Cats

Okay.  I admit it.  I have a totally silly side and ridiculous pictures of cats and dogs crack me up.

 

This post may seem random to you but it's not.  It's humor therapy!  Smiles and laughter can help us heal.  Scientists report that laughter changes our brain chemistry and boosts our immune system. 

 

We have to be able to laugh at ourselves and at humorous situations.  If we can't find the funny side of life, then we're in trouble.

 

My wonderful son found this on buzzfeed.com and thought it was hysterical; which it is!!

In fact, I would really love it if you would comment below and tell me which is your favorite among the crazy, wacky cat pictures!

Here's my favorite:

Courtesy of reddit.com

So Happy Friday and as we ease into the weekend, enjoy the following link which will take you to "28 Cats Who Have No Idea How They Ended Up Here":

http://www.buzzfeed.com/summeranne/28-cats-who-have-no-idea-how-they-ended-up-here

 

Life Is Not a Cereal

Have you heard of Kid President?

While I was on YouTube the other day I discovered this young ball of fire who is very funny and very cute.

So today's post is about laughing because laughter is a tremendous resource for dealing with stress and forgetting how bad your day was.  Laughter is infectious and if you are laughing and smiling then your friends will want to know what's going on to make you all giggly and then pretty soon they'll be laughing too!

More importantly, laughter may go a long way to reducing and healing the pain you may feel from a loss and a good laugh can help you feel like you truly can go on and face your next set of decisions.

As Kid President would say: Life is not a cereal and it certainly is not a dress rehearsal!

Believe and don't give up!

Healing Therapy

 

Drawing By NYC Multiple Medium Artist Joe Mangrum

One of my sister has a shoulder that is frozen and she is going to a physical therapist to work through the incredibly stiff shoulder muscles and joint.  If the physical therapy doesn't work, then she may have to have surgery and she really doesn't want that to happen.

 

We were talking about her physical therapy and she was telling me about how the therapist told her that to really get the exercises to work and unlock the muscles and joint that the therapy would have to increase to another level and she asked my sister if she was prepared for the "wall of pain" that she would have to work through to achieve her goal.

 

My sister said she was prepared and she knew it was going to be bad; that it would be so painful that she probably would cry.  But she still is committed to the next level of therapy, know that it's going to be awful, but also feeling hopeful that this increased therapy could be successful.

 

This may sound random to you but the more that I talked to my sister about her "wall of pain"  the more I felt I was talking to her about processing grief.

 

New grief can be so painful that it feels as though a part of your body has been amputated and you are walking around in a state of hemorrhaging.  You need to just take each day as it comes and little by little, you will start to feel that the pain is decreasing. 

 

But there is still a core amount of pain that requires work from you.

 

I think this concept was the hardest part for me.  When my husband died, I was stumbling around and in a state of numbness.  Every day I was full of grief and pain.  What was I going to do?  I had just lost my husband and everything was falling apart.  I thought I could read about grief and think about grief and it would eventually disappear.  Not!

 

Months and months of just feeling terrible finally made me realize that I had to do some of the work myself.  I had to actively figure out how to make myself feel better.  I found a support group at a local hospital and in the beginning I talked to someone on the phone for one-on-one time.  Later on, I joined a group and went to sessions twice a month to talk about grief and rebuilding my life all over again.

 

It was exhausting but I am so glad that I took the first step and asked for help.

 

It's important for you to recognize that you need time to work through this loss of your loved one.  There is no way to know how long it will take you to process your feelings.  Everyone grieves differently and takes different paths in their grief journey.  I do think it's fair to say that healing can come in cycles of ups and downs.

 

You have to confront your "wall of pain" and feel it.  The processing of this pain is hard for you are giving yourself permission to remember all the good things and all the bad things that your loved one was to you.  Write it down, shout it out, talk to a therapist, talk to a friend, paint it, take a shower and cry or go running and cry.

 

But get it out. 

 

Vent your feelings and thoughts and work through you "wall of pain."  You are releasing the pain and the hurt and the anger and the frustration and the confusion of not knowing what you are supposed to do next.

 

And in releasing your "wall of pain" you are empowering yourself and moving forward. 

 

For grief that you hold within yourself only keeps hurting and hurting.

 

 

Courtesy of NYC Multiple Medium Artist Joe Mangrum

 

 

Party Girl

OMG my wonderful readers,

I don't know about you but I need a good laugh!

There are too many stressful things happening in my family right now that I can't write about but believe me when I tell you that a good laugh must happen in order for me to feel better about life. 

 

 And when I need a good laugh I know I can always count on NBC's hysterical and infamous Saturday Night Live to make it happen.

Without further adieu, here are the multi-talented comedians, Cecily Strong and Seth Meyers:

I feel A LOT better and I hope you do too!

"Loved You First" Cover - Owen Danoff

Music can change my mood in an instant!

If you are anything like me, you probably have songs in your iPod that you listen to only when you exercise and those songs are probably different from music that you play when you want to relax or just chill. 

I think from the moment we are born we are sensitive to sounds and how those sounds make us feel. 

 

Listening to music can be therapeutic and soothing; truly a stressbuster.  I believe that music can truly heal your soul.  Or it can get your creatives juices going and help to push you through a project.  I think we are definitely hardwired for sound.  That's the only way to explain why when we hear certain songs or even certain sounds, it can instantly bring back memories and transport us to the time and place when we first heard it. 

 

You can't explain why you connect to a singer's voice.  You just like it the first time you hear it.

 

That's the way I feel about Owen Danoff's voice.  I first heard him singing with a group on a clip that a friend sent me.  There were a few places in the song where he sang by himself and I didn't know it was him until I asked.  I liked his voice right away.

 

Owen Danoff is a young Washington, DC singer songwriter, a multi-talented artist who is starting to make a name for himself in the music industry by writing songs and playing gigs in New York City, Boston, Nashville, Los Angeles and of course, DC.  He is a graduate of the Berklee College of music and a 2012-2013 artist in residence at the Strathmore Music Center (www.owendanoff.com).

 

Check out this jammin' cover of  One Direction's "Loved You First" that Owen recently cut with the also multi-talented singer Mike Squillante.  Mike is in the middle playing the guitar and doing vocals and is accompanied by Adrien Godat on bass.  You can also find this on YouTube:

 

 

More Humor Therapy

Grief is a journey that sets its own schedule.  Some cry, some talk, some paint and some even throw plates or other breakables to get rid of their anger. 

 

 Unfortunately, there is no set time for healing.

 

It is always difficult to adjust to life changing circumstances and face the outside world on your own.  But since we are all in this together, it is essential to reach out and extend a helping hand and let others know they are not alone in their journey.

 

 

 

 

I found the following story by Ken Garfield of Knight Ridder Newspapers and am sharing it with you in the hopes that it will help you smile:

Don't Let Death Have The Last Laugh

By Ken Garfield

Knight Ridder Newspapers

     We were on the way to her husband's funeral when my sister turned to me in the limosine and said, "I wonder if I should have worn a black veil."

 

     For just a second, I was taken aback.  How could she make a joke at a time like this?  Then it hit me.  How could she not make a joke at a time like this?

 

     When I realized what a brave and important thing my sister had done, I knew what to say.  "We still have time to run into Hecht's and buy one," I joked as the limosine drove on to the chapel.

     I never knew how sacred humor could be until tragedy struck our family.

 

     While my 51-year-old sister, Carol, was away on a weekend with cousins, her 56-year-old husband died of an apparent heart attack at their home in Boca Raton, Florida.  Eddie was a sweet and generous man who adored my sister.  In the last six months of his life, he finally landed a job he loved.  When they found my brother-in-law's body in bed, they also found in the kitchen the lunch he had made for work the next day.

 

     The memorial chapel was filled with elderly folks from the condominium complex where he worked and did good deeds for his friends, the tenants.  Grief darkened our days, of course.  My sister and her husbad, who had chosen not to have children, traveled through life together as soul mates.  For one to suddenly lose the other after 26 years broke our hearts.

 

     But just when it seemed as if the darkness was about to overcome us, the light returned in the form of a funny memory or whimsical story.

 

     In his eulogy, my father recalled how Eddie had told Carol that he didn't know where she was going on their next vacation -- but he was going to spend it at home with his beloved ballgames and TV remote control.  Carol recalled that the only thing Eddie feared more than a shirt ant tie was a social event to dress up for, and she noted that her home was filled with well-wishers after the funeral.

 

     "Eddie would have hated it," she joked.

 

     People who live with death know that humor helps mourners endure the pain.  Brandon Cook, of Hankins & Whittington Funeral Service in Charlotte, NC, said a funny story reminds the bereaved that life is a mixture of emotions.

 

     One story making the round tells of the daughter who had her mother's coffin wheeled into the service after everyone was seated.  Mother was late for everything else, the daughter told the mourners, so why shouldn't she be late for this?

 

     If you need encouragement to have a healthy laugh, Cook said, look to Proverbs 17:22: "A cheerful heart is a good medicine."

 

     A hospice chaplain told me that humor becomes truly sacred when it helps you understand that grief doesn't have to have the last word.

 

     I start welling up thinking about my sister facing life alone.  Then I'll laugh at a funny story, and the tears subside.