Baby Steps

Ugh.  I feel as though I have been stuck in a lot of life's drama lately and it is distracting me.

 

Big drama has been happening to me on all fronts of my life and I just thought I would let you wonderful readers know the reason why I haven't been able to post on my blog as much as I would like.  Not that you are hanging on to every word I ever post but I thought it would be nice of me to give an explanation for cutting back lately.

 

I can't and don't think it would be fair to talk about all the nuances of the Big D that is overtaking my life but I have faith that some parts of it will be short lived.  Sometimes I think that life's problems will resolve themselves if I give it enough time to unscramble but I am finding that a hard part of healing can be the times when you have to roll up your sleeves and confront the situation yourself.

Until then, I remind myself to take baby steps, for baby steps will get me where I need to go.

Peace.

Not To Worry

Why is it that I think that worrying about something will affect the circumstances of the thing I'm  worrying about?

 

It's as though the more I worry about it, the more I think I can push the situation to go the way I want.

My siblings and I talk a lot about worrying and why we worry.  Like A LOT.  As in a couple of times a week.

It's a good thing I come from a family of six children so we can rotate our calls to each other and no one ends up being burnt out from the constant chatter of one person over and over.  What do we worry about?  Besides our children, most of whom are now young adults and tell us not to worry about them, we worry about our wonderful parents who are in their eighties.  We all live within a hour or two of where my parents live and only out of love do we wonder if they need more of our help.

To say that my parents are independent and free spirited is an understatement but that is also what makes them so charming and so resistant to our offers of help.  I'm sure your family is much the same as ours where aging and illness are issues that are now at the top of the worry list.  It's a bit of a  juggling act trying to know when to offer assistance and when to leave it alone and let it work itself out.

Lots of people say that worry is a waste and I suppose that's true but it doesn't feel that way when you are actively worrying about people you care about.

Worry Beads

Usually worry starts with my thoughts and then as I start thinking about a situation, I unfortunately let myself get ahead to something that hasn't happened yet and maybe it won't ever happen but I still think to myself "What if that happens?"  Do you do this too?  Or am I in a class by myself?

When my thought process starts going round and round, stuck on a thought, I find I have to apply the mental brakes on myself and distract myself with some other activity.  If I don't stop thinking about the "what if's", then the worrying will affect my mood; as in getting a very intense headache.

At that moment I realize the negative effects of worrying: all that thinking, all that concern, all that energy focused on a certain situation, doesn't change whether it will happen.  Not one little bit.  In the meantime, I've made myself a an awful wreck.  Not. good. at. all.

Just as the repetition of handling the beads on a string of worry beads can be calming and healing so does saying positive affirmations to yourself.  Affirmations can help guide you to inner peace.  Sometimes I say; "Worry is a waste." "Worry is a waste." and other times I repeat "Resist worry. Resist Fear."  or "I am safe."

Most of the time my affirmations go a long way to making me feel better about whatever is going on and when they don't I know I can always grab my trusty phone and know that an understanding sibling is just a call away!

Ew! It's Funny Friday

What a whirl of a week this had been.  Deadlines. Pressure.  Meltdowns.  Not me.  Others.

 

You're familiar with this kind of dynamic aren't you?  I know you must be because there is no way that this kind of stuff only happens to me.

 

How do I deal?  (Did I hear someone say booze?)

 

No my friends I don't drink but I do make a lot of jokes about being in really awful situations because humor helps me cope.  I constantly make jokes about myself -- and believe me there's a lot of material there -- and I also make jokes about the perceived dysfunction and frustration and sometimes the plain silliness of daily situations that life happens to oh so innocently send our way.

Comedian Jimmy Fallon
Photo Courtesy New York Daily News

 



Instead of making jokes I guess another option would be to steel myself through the rough times, white knuckling my chair and holding my breath until it's over, but that wouldn't be any fun!  No, in fact that attitude would just suck the joy out of most situations. 

So meet "Stacy" and "Sara" and get ready to laugh as they hang out with First Lady Michelle Obama and "the girls" talk about different ways to stay active and eat right:

 

Weekend Antics

Beautiful Deserted Rehoboth Beach

Hey everyone!  Hope your weekend was full of unlimited amounts good times or at least full of what one of my guy friends calls antics! Mine certainly was!! 

 

Three of my best friends treated me to a weekend at Rehoboth Beach in Delaware and it was a blast; and I don't mean a blast of wintery cold but a blast of the healing powers of true friendship!!  Snow and ice and chilly winds surrounded us in our 23 degree climate -- because after all it is January on the East Coast -- but we didn't care because it was a weekend of great conversation, delicious food (Thank God Grotto was open!), unique shopping destinations and no schedules.

 

When in Rehoboth, Dewey or Bethany Beach,
You Have To Go To Grotto For The Pizza

No schedules.  Which in real life means we didn't have anyone telling us we had to be anywhere at any particular time.  We could go where we wanted, when we wanted, for how ever long we wanted to be there and that is my idea of freedom.

 

I have known and treasured these three best friends for decades and they are the salt of the earth.  I am lucky to know them and have them in my life and being with them can cure anything that life hands out!  We all love The Beach no matter what time of year it is and love to eat all kinds of seafood and just hang out, shoot the s$&t and enjoy each other's company.

 

As the saying goes, friendship isn't a big thing -- it's actually more like a million little things that are said and done and shared while living our lives and it all comes together in some kind of spontaneous combustion and makes time with those special people what life is all about.  The weekend was all about the chi or the flow of friendships and good times and it was a simple and as easy as that.

 

As I drove over the Bay Bridge to Rehoboth and tried to catch quick glimpses of the icy Chesapeake Bay, I said out loud to myself in the car:  "That's it stress.  I am leaving you far, far behind.  I am moving in to a stress free zone this weekend and you are not invited."

 

Life can change you, your personality, your expectations, your beliefs and your desires but hopefully you are not changing so drastically that you lose yourself and your friends don't recognize you.  They may be changing too in the face of life's experiences and increased responsibilities but at the end of the day you are all in it together and the reservoirs of strength that comes from good solid friendships and knowing that your friends have your back is what moves us forward and comforts our souls. 

Davina's Holiday Help

Hershey's chocolate kisses.  Creamy party dips.  Fried finger foods.

 

Temptation seems to be everywhere during the holidays, especially food that is unhealthy yet oh-so- delicious.  And precisely because it's the holidays, I always start out with good intentions but then end up giving myself permission to eat those sweet, creamy and fatty foods, don't you?

Basically, I need all the help I can get to keep my willpower strong while hanging out during the holidays.  Trust me when I tell you that I will find my way to bowl of nuts at any social gathering and eat all of the cashews!  It's true!  I need someone to tell me how to get back on track after sampling all those tasty foods that go right to my hips.  How else am I going to say "No!" to dessert buffets that are also calling out to me?

 

How indeed Davina?

 

Davina Sandground (www.nutritiongroove.com) is a health and nutrition counselor trained at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition where her teachers included Dr. Andrew Weil, Director of the Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine; Dr. Deepak Chopra, leader in the field of mind-body medicine; Dr. David Katz, Director of Yale University’s Prevention Research Center; Dr. Walter Willett, Chair of Nutrition at Harvard University; and Geneen Roth, bestselling author and expert on emotional eating.

 

I just received Davina's December newsletter focusing on eating sensibly and staying healthy during this time of the year when the last thing on your mind may be eating well.  Nutrition may also be the last thing on your mind when you are trying to recover from a loss and experiencing great stress in your life.  But your body needs even more extra care during this time and eating healthy may help you manage your emotions better and feel more in control of this painful time.

No matter what your holiday plans, whether you are determined to burn the candle at both ends or just chilling at a friend's house watching movies, here are Davina's smart and easy tips for navigating the nutritional minefield of the next few weeks:

Davina Sandground

As we head into the holiday season, I wanted to share a few reminders with you about how to not over indulge and end up feeling bloated. ~ Davina Sandground

Tip #1 – PRE-PLANNING

Pre-planning means that you always eat before you go to a holiday party. Make sure you have a healthy snack before you head out to the party. An apple with some almonds or hummus with vegetables will both do the trick. If you know you cannot eat certain foods at this party, make sure you have a mini meal before attending. You may want to have a small salad with protein or even a small bowl of cooked vegetables with tahini drizzled on top to keep your blood sugar balanced. (I always eat a healthy snack before I go to a party so I’m not ravenous when I get there).

 

It is okay to make the choice to indulge once in a while, knowing the next day you may feel the after-effects but you need to know exactly how to get back on track.

So what to do the day after?

Tip #2: EAT SIMPLE AND EAT CLEAN.

Make sure that eating over the next few weeks is clean eating. Making it through the holidays is about moderation. If you have a lot of celebration dinners and office parties it’s OK to indulge a little but be sure to “get back on the clean eating train”  at the very next meal.

 

Come back to the basic principles of clean eating. Eat fresh vegetables with lean protein. Avoid processed foods and drink plenty of water. Start your day off with a high protein breakfast like a two egg vegetable omelet so that you begin the day with balanced blood sugar. This will make it less likely that you’ll crave sugar and simple carbs.

.

Tip #3 – FLUSH THE BLOAT AND ALKALIZE

UPON WAKING, DRINK LEMON WATER

Take 2 cups of room temperature water, and add the juice from 1⁄2 a lemon, a pinch of cayenne (optional), and 1 teaspoon of raw honey or a couple drops of stevia (use stevia if you are on a yeast cleansing diet).

MID-DAY, CRANBERRY DRINK

Add 2 tablespoons of cranberry concentrate (I like Knudsen’s brand) into 6 ounces of room temperature water or seltzer if desired.

BEFORE BED, DRINK A CHLOROPHYLL DRINK TO ALKALIZE

Add 1 tablespoon of chlorophyll to 12 ounces of water with the juice of one lemon.  Note: you can buy chlorophyll at any natural food store or Whole Foods or Amazon.

Tip #4 – MOVE YOUR BODY!

When you consume more sugar and alcohol than normal your immune system can become compromised, so it’s extremely important to give it a boost. When you get exercise your lymphatic system is stimulated (in effect, you are its pump). The more you move, the more effective the lymphatic system works in keeping you healthy and warding off infections. Plan your exercise. We’re all busy but make it a priority. You’ll always feel great afterwards!

IMPORTANT FACTS TO REMEMBER

95% of your serotonin (the happy hormone) is manufactured in your digestive system.

80% of your immune system is manufactured in your digestive system.

Focusing on your digestive system is the gateway to being healthy AND happy!

Try not to abuse your digestive system. Treat it with kindness and it will serve you well.

I hope these few tips inspire and help you over the coming weeks. Remember, life can get crazy so you have to take care of yourself or soon you’ll be running on empty. Don’t let that happen to you.

I wish you a joyful holiday, peaceful end of year and a healthy 2014!

Your Green Zone

When I find myself getting close to sensory overload, I seek out quiet places to sit, to refresh and chill out.

 

After Monday's tragic shooting and killing of 13 people in the Washington Navy Yard, I truly needed a break from being bombarded with images and information.  Sitting in nature helps bring my focus back to what is important to me about the big picture of life.

 

As I notice and enjoy what is around me, I remind myself that I can't change the fact that highly stressful events happen, but I can change how I interpret and respond to these events.  You can develop being resilient.  Resilience involves maintaining flexibility and balance in your life as you deal with stressful circumstances and sometimes even traumatic events.

 

There is a beautiful park a few blocks from my office and I often find myself there in the middle of the day enjoying the beautiful flowers or listening to the cleansing sound of the small water fountain.  I don't stay there for very long but ten or fifteen minutes is long enough for me to reduce whatever stresses I may be feeling.

 

And when I go home, I don't sit in nature, but I do check in on my new green space: my lettuce garden.

My Lettuce Garden

It's not a very big container but I am proud of my little lettuce garden that I keep on my screened in porch.  My son gave me some packets of seeds for various kinds of lettuce this summer and it has been comforting and hopeful to nurture and grow my small plants.



Lettuce In A Box

Find your green zone; a place where you can calm down and pause to think about life's small, fleeting pleasures.  You'll be surprised what a little patch of green can do for your soul!

Healing Through Lavender

Mother Nature is one smart cookie.

 

She has given us natural remedies for anxiety, stress and other ailments but instead we choose to try and manufacture something that we think will be better.  Something that is usually full of chemicals and ends up causing environmental problems or making us sick.

 

Enter the healing herb of lavender, which is a beautiful and hardy perennial.

 

 

I discovered the healing benefits of lavender a little over a year ago and can't say enough about it.  Smelling lavender immediately calms me.  While on vacation recently in Bethany Beach, DE, I went to the local farmer's market, as I usually do, in search of a lavender vender who was there last year as well as farm fresh tomatoes and corn on the cob. 

 

As I entered the parking lot full of shoppers and tents and tables, I immediately spied a table full of natural products from Lavender Fields, a 5-acre lavender farm in Delaware (www.lavenderfieldsde.com).  I haven't visited the farm in Milton, Delaware but would love to do so.  Lavender Fields is a farm and a cottage store where 37 varieties of lavender are grown that is open from May to November.  One day I intend to check it out.

 

Lavender Fields located in Milton, Delaware

 I loved smelling many of the wonderful lavender products and ended up buying three types of hand made lavender soaps and a small glass vial of lavender oil which I sometimes put on my temples, my wrists and behind my ears to relieve tension or stress.

 

Studies show, and I have found out for myself, that the scent of lavender lowers your heart rate and blood pressure, putting you in a relaxed state.  Here are a few other ideas for taking advantage of lavender's healing and health properties:

 

--use a few drops of lavender oil into your bath water to soak and relax;

 

--use on burns and bites to relieve itch and pain;

 

--apply to skin to repel mosquitoes and other insects;

 

--sprinkle a few drops on a cotton ball by your pillow to help you sleep.

Lavender has been with us since Biblical times yet even today, in our fast-paced world, Mother Nature continues to take care us with the most natural and organic healers.

Make Each Day Meaningful

Resilience is a quality we all have within us.  We can take that resilience and make it work for us and strengthen ourselves if we choose.

 

Resilience is a tenacity of spirit; a determination to deal with adversity in our lives.  I know it doesn't feel like it at the time we are trying to handle one of life's stressful or sad times, but the courage and patience that we find inside ourselves as we process hardships can help us come out on the other side of it a better person.

 

A better person, you ask?  How can that be? 

 

Adversity can sometimes make us better people in terms of gaining new insight about life and about yourself.  A better person in terms of coping and reordering our priorities.  And a better person in terms of appreciating and loving life even more than we did before because we know how it can change up in a snap.

 

The good times sparkle even brighter after those challenging times, don't they?

 

Of course, I am not wishing adversity on anyone.  I don't have to because life hands it to us all on its' own.  I know this from my own experiences and those of my family and my dear friends.

 

Accepting and even anticipating change helps us maintain flexibility about life and all that come rolling our way.

 

Remain calm.  Remain peaceful.  Remain hopeful.

 

 

Exiting The Control Lane

It is Friday and I am one big burnt piece of toast!

It has been a week of going to the hospital (hopefully my Dad will be discharged today), car maintenance (way too expensive) and early starts at work (hate the alarm).  But I am truly looking forward to the end of today because that is when my well-deserved vacation begins!!!!!!

As hard as I try to maneuver around the built-in stress of the above situations, I am just a human being like anyone else and I do get sucked into worrying about all of these things instead of having faith that they will eventually get solved or will eventually be handled.

This where managing my expectations comes in.  For some reason, after all these years, I still think that if I treat a person nicely that they will treat me nicely.  NOT!  I really have to work on cutting loose my expectations of a situation and just let the situation happen.  Not to say that I should just lay down and let life roll over me but I need to tell myself that there is a difference between trying to control a situation and going into a situation with an open mind.

Photo Courtesy of Associated Press

The Elite Daily has come up with a list of the 20 things we need to let go of in order to be happy and I think it's a good solid list for all of us to consider.  I would say that #20 is an area I need to definitely focus on a lot; like every day; like all the time.  I do unfairly disappoint myself because I set my expectations higher than I should and then come away wondering why something happened the way it did. 

Instead, I should learn to sit back and let things develop.

Check out the list for yourself and see what you think.  If there is an area that you think you need to focus on in your life, please share below.  So without further discussion, away we go!

Here's the list from the Elite Daily:

http://elitedaily.com/life/20s-things-you-need-to-let-go-to-live-happy-life/

Bananarama

I left a couple of bananas on my kitchen counter the other day and the current heat and humidity in Washington, DC ripened them so fast that in two days they were too mushy for my cereal.  I'm not one to throw food away, so I found my trusty banana bread recipe and baked them into golden goodness!

 

This banana bread recipe below is from Martha Stewart's best-selling book, Entertaining, and I highly recommend making it and having it on hand for a quick breakfast.  I once tried the recipe as muffins and they were okay but the recipe is more delicious cooked in a loaf pan as bread.

 

 

 

When you are grieving, or under a lot of stress, it is so important for you to begin the day with breakfast.  Even if you find you have temporarily lost your appetite, this banana bread, perhaps with some yogurt, is easy to digest.  Bananas are high in potassium which is important in regulating blood pressure and keeping your muscles healthy.  Plus bananas are low in calories.

We can't stop life from handing us tough emotional times but we can control what we do for ourselves.

 

You may be having trouble sleeping or finding it hard to concentrate for long periods of times.  A balanced diet, rest, and moderate exercise could help to give you some structure and guide you towards slowly processing your raw emotions.  It is not a small thing to take care of yourself and learn how to keep yourself on a healthy track.

 

I hope you like this bread as much as my son and I do:

 

Martha Stewart's Banana Bread

 

1 large loaf or 4 small loaves

 

1/2 cup butter, at room temperature

1 cup sugar (I use less sugar, sometimes almost halving the amount)

2 eggs

1 1/2 cups unbleached flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup mashed very ripe bananas (usually 2)

1/2 cup sour cream (I use low fat)

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 cup pecans or walnuts (these are optional; I leave them out)

 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

 

Cream butter, sugar and eggs.

 

Sift the dry ingredients and combine with the butter mixture.

Blend well.  Add the bananas, sour cream and vanilla; stir well.

Stir in the nuts if you wish and pour into a well buttered 9 x 5 x 3-inch loaf pan or several smaller pans.

 

Bake 1 hour.  Turn out onto a rack to cool.

 

A Daily Om

We all need a mental health break, don't we?  I just didn't expect to find one downtown in a city park.

While walking down the street yesterday during lunch hour in the downtown area of the nation's capitol, I spied a large white tent set up across the street in a park known as McPherson Square.  The tent reminded me of one of those large white tents that people use at outdoor wedding receptions.  I could only see the back of the tent so, ever the curious one, I walked over to check it out.

Somebody must be promoting something, I thought, but from the first glance of it, I couldn't tell exactly what.

Turns out it was Mental Health; as in come inside the tent and take a rest from your daily work routine or from whatever is happening to you.

When I got closer to the tent, I could see a rather small blue, yellow and white sign saying "Mental Health Break, Noon to 7 pm, May 6."  Yes, I thought, this looks interesting.  The front of the tent was wide open and inside were low white tables and cushions for seating.  Small groups of people were sitting and standing, talking and reading.  Other tables were set up with free goodies such as blue balls that people could hold and squeeze to relieve stress or anxiety, and there also were water bottles along with green tea for drinking.  There was even a photobooth for quick laughs if you wanted to take silly pictures.

 

Children Practicing Yoga
Photo Courtesy The Daily Om

Thanks to The Chicago School of Professional Psychology, which was sponsoring the mental health event, people could also take yoga classes outside of the tent for relaxation under a cluster of trees. A few people taking a class that had already started were either sitting on chairs or sitting on mats with their eyes closed and arms stretched out, palms towards the sun.

It looked so un-DC.

Yet it was a unique concept.  Everything went to improving the human experience and community.

 

Here, a couple of blocks from the White House and The Washington Post, two centers of business that I think most people would associate with stress and hypercompetition, was a place dedicated -- at least for one day -- to finding your inner self and "happy place."

 

I associate, and I'm sure you do too, a mental health break or a mental health day to calling in sick from work.  We've all done it at least once in our work lives or know someone who's done it. Either you've been working on a project or just putting in too many long days and you need a break.  You're not really sick but you know you're going to get sick if you don't take a much needed break.  Thus, the mental health day.

 

 

But this mental health tent was sending a different message from what I could see,  which is: we are all capable of self-care at any time of the day in any place and with some practice, we can learn to  turn down the extraneous volume surrounding us and instead find inner calm and peace.

 

As author and wellness coach Kris Carr has written, "When you understand your mind you can harness its power to achieve more than you imagined possible.  The space between the noise is where God/dess lives.  There are many answers there.  Don't shy away from visiting."

 

It's All In Your Attitude

Hi Dear Friends!

Yesterday I went for my annual eye exam and of course the doctor dilated my eyes.  I now have to use eye drops three to four times a day.  One is a prescription drop and the other is an over-the-counter brand.  I am just getting used to this new routine and I am finding that it's a lot of drops to have rolling down my face.  Better get some water-proof mascara right?

 

Needless to say, computer time has been temporarily shortened but today I still wanted to post some thoughts about healing and managing life's wacky stresses.

I am sharing a short but wise essay a friend sent me (author unknown) on keeping it together and remembering to jump off the hamster wheel, take break and RELAX.

 

As I write this, it is snowing in the Washington, DC area and schools and the federal government are closed.  Perhaps you are taking an unexpected break today and if you are snow bound, I hope you keep your power and have time to enjoy some down time!

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience,

 

raised a glass of water and asked,

 

"How heavy is this glass of water?"

 

Answers called out ranged from 20 g to 500g.

 

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter.

 

It depends on how long you try to hold it.

 

If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.

 

If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.

 

If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

 

In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

 

He continued,

 

"And that's the way it is with stress management.

 

If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,

 

as the burden becomes increasingly heavy,

 

we won't be able to carry on."

 

"As with the glass of water,

 

you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.

 

When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

 

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.

 

Don't carry it home.

 

You can pick it up tomorrow.

 

Whatever burdens you are carrying now,

 

let them down for a moment if you can."

 

So, my friend, why not take a while to just simply RELAX.

 

Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.

 

Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.

 

Life is short.

Lessons Learned

I try to clear my brain on the weekends and taking long walks or short runs usually does it for me.  I like to try and wipe the slate clean of whatever happened last week and get rid of it so I don't carry it into the next week.  But I am fighting a cold and this weekend in Washington, DC was just too cold and windy to get out in the elements.  

 

Instead, I exercised indoors on my stationary bicycle and the only way to break the monotony of that is to wear my iPod and shuffle all my songs.  As I was watching the bicycle's calorie counter show my progress, a song came on I hadn't heard in awhile: Carrie Underwood's Lessons Learned.

The lyrics unfolded for me in a new way:

And all the things that break you,
Are all the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all,
Lessons learned.

 

Boy is that true!  Sometimes you think the curve that life has handed you is totally going to break you to bits.  And at the time that it is happening to you it does feel that way.   You feel like a mess, like nothing is ever going to make sense again.  For me, I found strength in knowing that life is sometimes out of control and I needed to stop fighting it.

 

A lesson I learned is to reach out.  Sharing your problems with friends, family members or a support group and spending time in nature are just some of the ways that I found to be the best buffers against stress.  Force yourself to call someone because isolating ourselves can make "the blues" even worse.

 

Listening to music can also help you shake a down feeling, just as it helped me make the time on my stationary bicycle fly by.  Music can energize you and calm you.  It's hard to stay in a bad mood when you are listening to a song that you love.

 

I hope Lessons Learned gives you strength and perhaps some inner resolve to deal with whatever is going on in your life.  Here is the multi-talented award-winning Carrie Underwood singing Lessons Learned:

Life Is Not a Cereal

Have you heard of Kid President?

While I was on YouTube the other day I discovered this young ball of fire who is very funny and very cute.

So today's post is about laughing because laughter is a tremendous resource for dealing with stress and forgetting how bad your day was.  Laughter is infectious and if you are laughing and smiling then your friends will want to know what's going on to make you all giggly and then pretty soon they'll be laughing too!

More importantly, laughter may go a long way to reducing and healing the pain you may feel from a loss and a good laugh can help you feel like you truly can go on and face your next set of decisions.

As Kid President would say: Life is not a cereal and it certainly is not a dress rehearsal!

Believe and don't give up!

Two Life Tips

 

 

Say Ohmmmm!

 

My mother gets more magazines than anyone I know.  She always has a huge stack of magazines near her chair and after she whips through them she is always happy to get rid of them.

 

This weekend I stopped by my parents' house to visit, catch-up and check in on them to see how things are going and she gave me at least 25 magazines to take home.  Oh don't worry.  My Mom still has more magazines for herself.

 

I am always looking for information on how get healthier and de-stress and while reading a December 2012 Family Circle magazine, I came upon an article by Sharon Boone about how to avoid a meltdown during the Christmas season.  Now Christmas may be over, but for me there is always the possibility of a stress build-up from any number of sources and anything that can help me make my stress work for me is a good thing.

 

Here are two life tips that popped out for me:

 

--Say  Ohmmm: Meditation can slow a racing heart, decrease blood pressure, steady breathing and even stop checkout lines from driving you crazy. (Well, maybe.)  "By eliminating all distractions save the sound of your breath, meditation transforms the body's fight-or-flight response to relaxation," says Jay Winner, M.D., author of Take The Stress Out of Your Life.

 

--Appeal To A Higher Power: People who prayed before performing a task -- say, preparing dinner for 30 people -- had lower blood pressure and felt less anxious than those who did not.  Researchers theorize that prayer creates the sense of having a nonjudgmental and powerful support network.

 

It's all about my choices and as I jump into a new work week, I am going to try and find strength in the positive and kick the negative stuff to the curb!

Comfort Dogs

 

 

"Charlie"

 

 They say that dogs can sense when people need comforting.

 

And when dogs feel a person's fatigue, sadness or loneliness, it is in their nature to give companionship and sometimes entertainment to the person in need.

 

I have been watching the generous spirit of a new puppy named Charlie who has joined the family of one of my sisters.  Charlie is full of so much energy and love and he just can't wait for someone to hold him and play with him.  Charlie is a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and he has an uncanny sixth sense about which person in the family needs him the most.

I guess I am discovering what others have already known about dogs and their sense of loyalty and kindness.

 

When I talk about dogs and entertainment, I definitely have Charlie in mind.  Can you imagine a dog who likes for people to put outfits on him?  Well, Charlies does and he can't wait for someone to either put a dog sweater on him or a Redskins jersey (dog size of course!).  Charlie is definitely on the cutting edge of dog fashion.

 

But seriously, Charlie has had a special healing effect on those around him and has made everyone temporarily forget the tensions and stresses of the day when he is around.  It is amazing how his sweet temperament affects everyone around him and he is especially great at providing comfort to people in the midst of serious medical treatments.

 

He will jump up in a person's lap and then suddenly be very still as the person gently strokes Charlie's cute ears or holds his small body.  In fact, Charlie offers every bit of a calming influence, and maybe more, as the infamous K-9 Parish Comfort Dogs do.

 

The K-9 Parish Comfort Dogs were brought into Newtown, CT immediately following the tragic shooting massacre of more than 20 children and teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary School in mid-December 2012 to ease the pain of survivors and parents whose children had died in the tragedy.

 

The K-9 Parish Comfort dogs are trained to interact with people at churches, schools, nursing homes, hospitals and in disaster situations.  According to K-9 Parish Comfort dog's FaceBook page, a dog "is a friend who brings a calming influence, allowing people to open up their hearts and receive help for what is affecting them."

 

Check out these special healing pictures of the K-9 Parish Comfort dogs doing their best to help children and adults heal and feel better about their lives:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/jtes/photos-of-golden-retrievers-comforting-the-residen

Hillary Clinton

Photo Courtesy of People.com

Hillary Clinton is a workhorse.  I would guess that she gets more accomplished in an hour as Secretary of State than I do in a day.

An incredibly savvy woman who has served this country as First Lady and as a member of the US Senate, she is also fearless about putting her beliefs into action and that's one of the reasons why she is the most admired woman in the world according to a December 2012 Gallup  poll.  In fact, this marks the 11th year in a row that Hillary has held the number one spot.  

 

But her current medical situation makes me pause.

I was very happy to read that she was discharged from New York-Presbyterian Hospital on Wednesday where she was diagnosed and successfully treated for a blood clot in her head.  According to her doctors, the blood clot developed from a concussion she suffered in her home earlier in December.

 

Clinton's spokesman explained that while she was at home fighting a stomach virus, she had become dehydrated, fainted and fell, striking her head.  Blood clots are nothing to fool around with; especially when found in the brain.

 

Even though Clinton said in a statement yesterday that she is eager to get back to work now that the clot has dissolved with the help of blood thinners, her medical scare is a strong reminder to me and all of us who routinely multi-task and push themselves that we need to work smart and protect our good health.

 

Staying hydrated is definitely a priority and one that increases in importance as we grow older.  WebMD says older adults have an increased chance of becoming dehydrated for the following reasons: they may not drink water on a regular basis because they do not feel as thirsty as younger people, their kidneys might not work as well as they once did and they might choose not to drink lots of water because of an inability to control their bladders.

 

Something to look forward to right?

 

I enjoy working but when I am involved in a project I am passionate about I know that I sometimes lose track of time and sometimes even forget to eat.  Working hard can be satisfying but I try to remind myself that work shouldn't compromise my health or yours.

For example, I have a job where I sit in front of a computer.  Throughout the day, I constantly remind myself to get up and walk around.  I need to give my eyes a break and I definitely need to move my body.  Sitting in one place for hours at a time is not good for any part of my body even though I have worked with people who are almost macho about how long they work in front of the computer.

To me, that's not working smart.  That's just marking time.  At a certain point you are no longer focused on what you're doing because you've been at it for so long you don't even see it any more. 

There's no gold medal for working yourself to the bone.  In fact, I've seen some people end up very sick trying to put in unbelievable work weeks.  Sooner or later, the lack of sleep, the stress, the constant mental go-go-go, the eating on the run and deadlines wear you down.  I  find it's not the amount of hours you work, but what you do with the hours you work that helps you stay on top of your job.

If you are a workhorse too, I think the healthiest plan to follow is to try to be proactive.  Evaluate your schedule and see what you can get done before a deadline.  Remove distractions and do the work when it's time to do the work.  Push through until the work is done and reward yourself with a break.

I appreciate and admire Hillary Clinton's work ethic and her talents but her hospitalization was a public sign to all of us that sometimes we need to put the breaks on our work schedules and be aware of the health pitfalls that can happen when you put in long hours in a pressure cooker job.

Please rest up Hillary.....we need you!
 

Buddy The Elf

A baby boy crawls into Santa's satchel of presents and travels back with him to the North Pole.....

 

So begins the wonderful story of "Elf," a classic Christmas movie which captures the spirit of innocence and hope.  If you've never see "Elf," I highly recommend it.

 

With a new year right around the corner, there is no reason for us to abandon the uplifting feeling of the holidays just because Christmas and Hanukkah are over.

 

 

 

Comedian Will Ferrell as Buddy the Elf

 

I have watched "Elf" many times when it it isn't even close to the holiday season just because it makes me laugh and reminds me that my outlook on life is my choice.  Sometimes I do get caught up in the negative aspects of every day life and forget that it's essential to keep it simple and believe that tomorrow will be better.

 

I won't go as far as Buddy and believe "that there is always room for everyone on the nice list" but I can choose to keep a "holiday spirit" with me if I want and carry it around to feel any day of the week, any time of the year. 

 

Comedian Will Ferrell, a veteran of "Saturday Night Live," plays Buddy the Elf perfectly!  Every time I watch the movie, I never doubt that Buddy truly is one of Santa's elves.  One of Buddy's charms is his love of singing and his belief that singing -- even if you make up the song as you go along -- will make you and everyone else around feel better and more hopeful.

 

Buddy's sweet philosophy is essentially this: "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear."  And he practices it as much as he can.

 

Now, really think about it.  When was the last time you sang out loud?  When was the last time you sang in the shower?  When was the last time you sang along to a song while in the car?  That you sang a song while you were just walking around?

 

Don't get me wrong.  I am not ignoring the realities of life.  I see the problems and stresses that I need to deal with and as I get older those problems have become more complicated.  But I also know that finding the humor in life or singing a song to myself or just being silly about a situation can help me momentarily rise above the tensions and perhaps help me find a solution, even if it's only short-term.

 

"Elf" is also about developing a childlike sense of humor. Not in an annoying, repetitive, selfish way but developing the ability to see the silly side of things in life. Humor helps me get through ordinary hassles and feel less stressed.

 

If 2012 has taught me nothing else, it has shown me and proved to me over and over is that I can only change myself and the way that I react to life and its unpredictable situations. 

 

I can be negative or I can be positive and being positive gives me the resolve and extra boost I often need to face the day!

 

Getting A Life

"Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger paycheck, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast? Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze over Seaside Heights, a life in which you stop and watch how a red-tailed hawk circles over the water gap or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a cheerio with her thumb and first finger.

Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Each time you look at your diploma, remember that you are still a student, still learning how to best treasure your connection to others. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Write a letter. Kiss your Mom. Hug your Dad. Get a life in which you are generous."

 

                                             ~ Excerpt from Anna Quindlen's Villanova Commencement Speech, 2000

 

 

 

Baby Practices Picking Up Cheerios

 

 

I worked a few hours in the office yesterday and then was able to leave early.  I didn't feel guilty at all about cutting the work day short.  I was looking forward to meeting my son at the movies.  We saw "Les Miserables" and I enjoyed it but I prefer the stage version of the iconic story about the French Revolution.

 

While waiting in the lobby, I let my mind wander and watched the cold, rainy weather outside.  I could feel my shoulders relax as I looked up at the clear slanted ceiling and my eyes followed the sliding raindrops down the glass.  After a few minutes, my mind seemed to empty of office concerns and I starting thinking about the importance of mentally and physically breaking from my work schedule.

 

I could work all the time if I wanted to.  Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with work and I am happy to have my job.  I have a strong work ethic and get a lot of satisfaction from doing my job and doing it well.  But there comes a point when you need to recharge and you can't do that if you are always working and always pushing yourself to do more work.

I find that working constantly starts to make me inefficient.  I start to get tired, I get headaches easily and I start to answer people in a short manner.   When I start experiencing those symptoms, I know it's time to take a break and do some of the things that Anna Quindlen suggests in her quote above: pick up the phone, call a friend or a family member, write an email, connect with another person.

I need to work to support myself financially but I also need to remember -- especially during the holidays -- to take a break and enjoy the treasures of my life.
 

Seaching for Serenity

As we continue to deal with the tragic stories coming out in the news about the Newtown, Connecticut shootings, let us try to find a break from the pain.

We begin a new work week and also find that Christmas is just a week away. The juxtaposition of the Newtown stories, the dialogue online and on television and in the newspapers this weekend about gun control, the state of mental health and parenting issues in the United States and Christmas decorations and music is jarring.

I found myself turning off the television and only reading parts of stories because it all became too much to digest.

I am not ignoring what has happened but at a certain point, my mind needs a rest.  My mental break consists of finding a place where I can close my eyes, take a deep breath and mentally think of a calming image in nature such as an isolated beach, rolling green hills or a field of flowers.

Breath.  Listen to your heartbeat.  Breath.  Think of the ocean and the calming sound of the waves as they meet the sandy shore.  Take another deep breath.

What is serenity in a time of turmoil?  It can be a place of inner peace and a way of finding hope and healing even while experiencing pain.

I found this short explanation about serenity on www.wisdomcommons.org and thought I would share it with you.  I hope you find it helpful:

 Serenity means maintaining a sense of inner peace even in difficult situations.

 

We gain serenity by accepting the things we cannot change and focusing our energy where we can make a difference.

 

Fear, anger or desire can create a sense of urgency that triggers us to react impulsively. When this happens, we risk undermining our goals, damaging relationships--even violating our deepest values. By contrast, when we cultivate serenity, we don’t fear our emotions, but we do keep them in balance. We govern ourselves rather than being ruled by external circumstances and our feelings about them.

 

Meditative practices, contemplation, physical exercise and self-regulation skills all can help us to maintain a serene, peaceful state of mind. This mental state in turn frees us to live thoughtfully and intentionally.

 

When we hold onto our own sense of serenity, we help others to keep theirs.